Anarchy In The UK

August 8th, 2007

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The Announcement

Alternate Historian – Back Again!: Yet another plague has ripped its way through our Academy and gone back to its home dimension, and we are happy to see it go. Tomorrow, we will hopefully feel like picking back up and contributing to the web site. Especially since it's one week till our first birthday and you need to send in your alternate lives for me (August 14, 1965) and Steve (November 22, 1967). Get that research done quickly!

George Orwell	In 1917, Aldous Huxley arrived at Eton College to teach French. The previous year he had graduated from Balliol College, Oxford with First Class Honours at English literature. Eric Blair (later known by the pen name George Orwell) was among his pupils, remembering him as another incompetent and hopeless teacher who couldn’t keep discipline.
By coincidence, both teacher and pupil would following similiar career paths, known for both novels and a wide-ranging output of essays and published short stories. Huxley wrote Brave New World, whilst Orwell penned Nineteen Eighty Four, an anarchistic vision of the future partly based on the indiscipline of Eton. In the world of 1984, Government has ceased to exist to be replaced by a loose form of autonomous control from the "the Party". Unaware of this connection [to his own failed supervisory methods], this publication prompted Huxley to write to Orwell in 1949 to congratulate him on "fine and how profoundly important the book is". Returning to his own dystopian vision of "Brave New World", Huxley continued: "Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience".
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1975, at the two-story house at 17841 Beaverland, former President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa received a presentation from the fourth dimensional aliens who Kurt Vonngeut had likened to Plumber's friends.
Jimmy Hoffa	Barred from Union activities since his release from prison in 1971, Hoffa had planned a big comeback. He wanted to extend the national freight agreement to cover all transport workers. The Tralfamadorians showed Hoffa the 1981 Air Traffic Controllers Strike, and how President Reagan fired the striking workers.
In this future, Hoffa was completely discredited by the new strong arm tactics of the Republicans. Worse, Americans seemed to want this action - it was the first time since Vietnam American's felt the White House had got the country moving ahead. Yet the Tralfamadorians moved forward a further twenty years, and Hoffa's son was now the President of the Teamsters, so clearly the father's removal was a setback with a long-term win. Hoffa could rest easy - he accepted his fate.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

"I rented this little chalet in Switzerland, in the mountains just beyond Lake Geneva. I rented this gear from a little shop in a village, a little music shop, with a Revox tape recorder, an electric piano - I had my guitar there - and just sat there to try and write. For two weeks, I came up with nothing - and I only had four weeks to write this double album!

Jeff Lynne	I was sort of thinking, 'bloody 'ell, maybe I can't come up with anything'. The weather had been really bad and then one day I got up and it was fantastic, the sun was brilliant and shining, all the mountains were lit up and this mist had gone away. It was gorgeous, so I went out to ski, and well, that was that." ~ Jeff Lynne of the Electric Light Orchestra
Uninspired

Immediately after ELO's 'A New World Record Tour' ended in April 1977, Lynne left for Switzerland determined to compose enough new material for a double album. The singer-songwriter and producer had elevated ELO to global superstardom with the release of 'A New World Record' during 1976 and expectations of their record company, critics and ELO's millions of fans were higher than ever. In fact, it turned out that expectations for Out Of The Blue were far too high and the double album was never made.

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1945, mysterious mechanical failures on board the Enola Gay resulted in a late reassignment in both aircraft and the crew. The Lucky Strike is selected instead by USAF General Curtis "Bombs "Away" LeMay and C-in-C Douglas MacArthur.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Forest Whitaker	"[Idi Amin is] a splendid type and a good football player” ~British Foreign Office. ”You [director, Kevin Macdonald] don't think I've got the anger in me to do this part, do you?” ~ Forest Whitaker.
Playing Idi Amin

African American actor Forest Whitaker received critical acclaim for the lead role in The Last Governor-General of Uganda. To prepare for his role as the British stooge Idi Amin, Whitaker gained 50 pounds, learned to play the accordion, and immersed himself in research. He read books about Amin, watched news and documentary footage, and spent time in Uganda meeting with Amin's friends, relatives, generals, and victims; he also learned Swahili and mastered Amin's East African accent. Whitaker's performance earned him the 2007 Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role, making him the fourth African-American actor in history to do so. For that same role, he also received the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama, the Screen Actors Guild Award, a British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) Award, and accolades from the New York Film Critics Circle, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association, the National Board of Review and the Broadcast Film Critics Association.

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 2009, the TV networks presented the final episode (number twenty eight) of So What If?. John F Kennedy is assassinated in Dallas. Suspicion falls upon a member of the motorcade, Texas president Lyndon Baines Johnson.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Elimina Castle	In 1482, to pass the long night of six hundred years at St. George El Mina Castle, Kwame’s brother spoke to him of African Poetry. ”The weaver bird built in our house, and laid its eggs on our only tree, we did not want to send it away, we watched the building of the nest
And supervised the egg-laying. And the weaver returned in the guise of the owner Preaching salvation to us that owned the house They say it came from the west Where the storms at sea had felled the gulls And the fishers dried their nets by lantern light Its sermon is the divination of ourselves And our new horizons limit as its nest. But we cannot join the prayers and answers of the communicants We look for new homes every day For new altars we strive to re-build The old shrines defiled from the weaver’s excrement.”
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945/3001, (Third Age) a wretched US President Harry S Truman pours himself a bourbon in the Oval Office. He is starting to realise, actually has realised, that the delayed Japanese surrender is in fact nothing other than the slow cogs of decision-making. Perhaps, probably, tomorrow's strike on Nagasaki is unnecessary.	Gandalf
Startled by the door opening unannounced, he looks up from the Resolute Desk to see an old man with a long white beard and huge floppy hat. "I am Gandalf the Grey", says the stranger, "and I have returned to Bag End to tell you to give up the Ring of Power". Truman reacts with panic and suspicion when Gandalf tries to persuade him to leave it. The last straw is when Truman refers to the Ring as his "precious" and Gandalf loses his temper, putting some sense into him. Truman then admits he would have liked to be rid of it, and leave it behind. Gandalf departs, the scene changes and the President presses his intercom, "get me the head of the U.S. Army Air Forces and tell him to cancel the strike!".
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Lloyd George	In 1914, European diplomacy entered a critical phase as the August Days continued in the build up to War. In Caerdydd (Cardiff) First Minister David Lloyd George confirmed the nation's policy of neutrality. The Welsh Free State had no strategic interest in a European conflict said the Welsh Wizard.
He would be damned if he sent the flower of Tywysogaeth Cymru (Wales) to die in the mud of Flanders. This statement was to have two very unexpected outcomes on the threat and opportunity scale. Put simply, what goes up, must come down.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1917, in order to release the Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich, Tsarist Prime Minister Pyotr Stolypin and the Okhranka burst into the den that is housing the hostage, and his kidnappers. Thereupon the leader of the Paris nest, the Vampire Henri confronts Stolypin with an unexpected explanation for the kidnapping.	Stolypin
A condition for the Tsarevich's release requires the Peace Conference to announce a Free Vampire State of Transylvania. The leader said it was a reasonable request, after all, France would not have emerged victorious from the Great War without nosferatu attacks after sundown on the German trenches. After all, what else did the General's mean when they talked of “bleeding the Germans white?”. Hmm. Stolypin and the Okhranka do a rapid about turn, seeking further orders from the Tsar.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Regrets

August 7th, 2007Reposted due to error

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The Announcement

Even More Groggy Alternate Historian Says: Steve will submit the post today – except for me reminding you to send in your alternate birthdays for me (August 14, 1965) and Steve (November 22, 1967) for our Birthday Contest!

In 1975, at the two-story house at 17841 Beaverland, former President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa attended the last professional meeting of his career. Frank Sheeran introduced Hoffa to the fourth dimensional aliens who Kurt Vonngeut had likened to Plumber's friends.
Jimmy Hoffa	Tralfamadorians have the ability to experience reality in four dimensions; meaning, roughly, that they have total recall of both past and future, and they are able to randomly access any part of their lives from birth to death, at will. Able to see along the timeline of the universe, they know the exact time and place of its accidental annihilation by means of a Tralfamadorian experiment, but are powerless to prevent it.
This power was shared with Jimmy Hoffa before he died. By the end of the presentation, Hoffa accepted his fate - Hoffa had his own house "painted" when Sheeran fired two shots into his brain.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Ziggy Stardust	Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly, and the spiders from Mars. He played it left hand But made it too far Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's band ~ Lyrics to “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” - Click to Play Sample
Spiders from Mars

The Mars Global Surveyor (MGS) was a US spacecraft developed by NASA and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and launched November 1996. It began the United States's return to Mars after a 20-year absence. It completed its primary mission in January 2001 and was in its third extended mission phase when it lost contact with NASA in November 2006. On November 2, 2006, the spacecraft failed to respond to messages and commands. A faint signal was detected three days later which indicated that the craft had gone into safe mode. All attempts to recontact the Mars Global Surveyor and resolve the problem failed. In January 2007 NASA officially ended the mission. In 2012 faint signals were again detected, including a visual link. Who other than Ziggy Stardust would have had the imagination to foresee Spiders from Mars? The lyrics are available at at Stllyrics

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1945, with the English Channel mined by the Kriegsmarine, Vati announced a new dawn for Germany. That evening in London and Washington, the dawn came early. Brighter than a thousand suns.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1947, Major Jesse Marcel and a "man in plainclothes" accompanied William "Mac" Brazel back to his New Mexico ranch where more pieces were picked up from the remains of the crashed "Roswell" craft. Brazel told the pair he had seen aliens, who he described as "two feet high, and green, and shaped like plumber's friends. Their suction cups were on the ground, and their shafts, which were extremely flexible, usually pointed to the sky. At the top of each shaft was a little hand with a green eye in its palm." No fool, Marcel noticed a complete absence of surprise on his mysterious colleague's face.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2009, the TV networks presented episode twenty seven of So What If?. British Prime Harold Macmillan speaks about the Winds of Change sweeping through the Great Plains of North America. John Pilger asks whether the First Nations can live at peace within the artifical boundaries demarcated by the departing British imperialists.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1971, the Winterberry wrote in his diary : “It was Uncle Jack who taught me how to read and write. I think it took a long time but I'm not sure. I heard him arguing about it with mother about it one night a few years ago when I wasn't supposed to be out of my room, but I was very excited with the next day being my birthday and I couldn't sleep..”. Nick DiChario's alternate history story appeared in Alternate Kennedys, an interesting speculation on a dark Kennedy family secret. Nominated for both the World Fantasy Award and the Hugo Award, DiChario explored the disturbing premise that Teddy Kennedy did not drown in Poucha Pond after the party on Chappaquiddick Island but was kept in secrecy by his close family at Hyannis Port.

~ variant entry by Steve Payne: extensive use of original material has been used to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2016, following a night of teenage partying, drunken student Buford Rogerson III fell asleep on the city transit during a memorable journey home. Rogerson had forgotton to lock the keypad on his Blackberry Pulsar 6G data cell. Snoring loudly, he rested up against another passenger in the untroubled sleep that only the very drunk can know. The uncomfortable fidgeting of this other passenger resulted in a random key stroke pattern during the hour long journey. The following morning, the hungover student discovered he had won several auctions on eBay, bought a small cheetah named Larry that was currently being shipped from East Africa, and also married two cybernetic wives from Eastern Europe.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Elimina Castle	In 1482, to pass the long night of six hundred years at St. George El Mina Castle, Kwame’s brother spoke to him of African Poetry. “Africa tell me, Africa – Is this your back that is bent This back that breaks under the weight of humiliation, This back trembling ..
.. with red scars And saying yes to the whip under the midday sun But a grave voice answer me Impetuous child that tree young and strong That tree over there Splendidly alone amidst white and faded flowers, That is your Africa springing up anew Springing up patiently obstinately Whose fruits bit by bit acquire The bitter taste of liberty.”
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1952, on this day 33rd US President Harry S Truman made a pledge to the American people. The use of a nuclear weapon on Tokyo he clarified, was a once only tactic that could not be, and should not be, re-used. The world of 1945 was a great deal less complex than the world of 1952, and the weapon was now a great danger ..	Harry S Truman
.. to the continuation of life on earth. Part of the decision to use the bomb, he stated, was a calculation based on the absent threat of retaliation. Things had changed. Disarmament was the correct step now.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Stolypin	In 1917, Tsarist Prime Minister Pyotr Stolypin followed the magician Grigory Rasputin to the nest of vampires in Paris, the location of which was then supplied to the senior Oprichnik (Tsarist Secret Policeman). The very next evening, just before sun down the Okhranka would burst into the nest of vampires and release the ..
.. Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich. That was the plan. Trouble was these loyal men of the Tsar only had half of the story. They knew that the death of the Tsar's only son would terminate the Romanov line. However they had been told the Tsarevich suffered from a terminal blood-related condition known only to the Russian Royal Household, which they assumed was haemophilia. Actually, the Tsarevich had already died, and was suffering from Blood Sucking vampirism.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, a wretched US President Harry S Truman pours himself a bourbon. Contrary to the advice of his short-fused military, he is starting to believe that the delayed Japanese surrender is in fact nothing other than the slow cogs of decision-making. Perhaps, probably, a further strike on Nagasaki is unnecessary. ..	Malebron
.. Startled by the door opening unannounced, he looks up from the Resolute Desk to see a golden warrior has entered the Oval Office. Is there light yet in Gorias? asks Malebron. Findhorn crashes into the door. “Yes, sir” replies the President, guessing that he is being asked whether Nagasaki has been struck yet. “Good, then you must not use the Spear of Light” counsels Malebron and disappears. Alone, Truman opens the door to find two huge gouges in the wood work where the Unicorn had struck.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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The Man From Branford (cont.)

August 4th, 2007

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The Announcement

Alt-Historical Continuation: this continues the Man from Branford story that we began a couple of days ago. If you would like to see more of a particular story, email us. Also send us email with alternate birthdays for me, (August 14, 1965), and Steve, (November 22, 1967), for our birthday contest!

We checked the man into a hospital once we got into Austin, and I spoke with the doctor in charge at the ER. “He's delusional, possibly from the injuries, but it's also possible that his delusions are what put him out on the road. Do you think the burns he's suffered are from exposure?”
The surgeon shook his head. “No, they seem to be some kind of chemical burns, and they're all over him, including under his skin. It's very odd.”
“It was odder seeing him on the highway. I'm used to strange things here in Austin, but this...”
The surgeon smiled. “Thanks for bringing him in.” He extended his hand to shake mine, and I felt a little reluctance letting responsibility for this patient go. I looked over at Francine, and she was obviously impatient to get back to our long weekend. We had done our good deed, and now the man was in the hands of people who could help him.
I shook the doctor's hand and said, “If you need any psychiatric help, here's my card.” I took out my wallet and handed him my card.
He took it, but not with any real enthusiasm. “We have psychiatric staff, of course.”
“Of course, of course, I understand.” Francine was standing now, my cue to leave. “Good luck, doctor.” I walked over to her and put my arm around her shoulder.
“Couldn't let go of the patient, could you?” She was half-accusing, half-laughing at me as we walked back into the warm Austin sunlight.
I kissed her on the cheek and we steered towards our car. “Strange cases like that are what they make books out of, dear. Now, some staff psychiatrist here gets to make a movie of the week.”
“That's all right,” she said, squeezing my hand where it draped over her shoulder. “I'd never see you if you were working on a book in addition to your regular case load.” She jabbed me in the ribs. “And, I hear those Hollywood starlets can't resist their doctors.”
“That's right,” I said, feeling my mood lighten up. “Let me back in there!” I turned part of the way back and she yanked me toward her to plant a big kiss on my lips.
We spent the rest of the day as we had planned – light lunch from the health-food store, a romantic walk around Zilker Park, some secluded time in a dark nook – it was delightful and invigorating. But, the entire time we were there, a small portion of my mind kept thinking about Mr. Johnson from Branford, and on the drive to our hotel, I asked Francine if we could stop by the hospital and check on his condition.
She sighed at my preoccupation. “Still thinking of those starlets, eh?”
“There's only one starlet in my life,” I said, winking at her.
She smiled and relented. “All right. But, let's not stay too long, OK?”
“Of course not, dear.” I didn't realize how badly I was lying then.

So you resigned yourself to failure, my friend And I emerged the chilling stranger, my friend To eradicate the problem, my friend Unsheathe the blade within the voice
Marillion	I am the assassin I am the assassin And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins anyway, my friend? ~ Lyrics to Assassing - Click to Watch Sample
Assassing

Wikipedia entry for Jimmy Hoffa's hit by the mob ~ In 2003, the FBI searched the backyard of a home in Hampton Township, Michigan formerly frequented by Frank Sheeran, Second World War veteran, Mafia hitman, truck driver, Teamsters official and close friend of Hoffa. Nothing significant was found. In 2004, Charles Brandt, a former prosecutor and Chief Deputy Attorney General of Delaware, published the book I Heard You Paint Houses. The title is based on a euphemistic exchange apparently used by hitmen and their would-be employers. "I heard you paint houses." "Yes, and I do my own carpentry, too." House painting alludes to the splatter of blood on walls, and "doing my own carpentry" to the task of disposing of the body. Brandt recounted a series of confessions by Sheeran regarding Hoffa's murder, and claimed that Sheeran had begun contacting him because he wished to assuage feelings of guilt. Over the course of several years, he spoke many times by phone to Brandt (which Brandt recorded) during which he acknowledged his role as Hoffa's killer, acting on orders from the Mafia. He claimed to have used his friendship with Hoffa to lure him to a bogus meeting in Bloomfield Hills and drive him to a house in northwestern Detroit, where he shot him twice before fleeing and leaving Hoffa's body behind. An updated version of Brandt's book claims that Hoffa's body was cremated within an hour of Sheeran's departure. Trouble was Brant was told that Sheeran received orders from the Mafia by telephone. This was only partially correct. Both the mob and the White House had organize the execution, and naturally they had turned to their trusted allies, the Tralfamadorians. Kurt Vonngeut had described likened the aliens to Plumber's friends. Which was a good call. E. Howard Hunt and the White House team of Plumbers had forged a winning partnership with these fourth-dimensional beings. The lyrics are available at at Official Marillion Web Site

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

Love is a danger of a different kind To take you away and leave you far behind And love love love is a dangerous drug You have to receive it and you still can't get enough of the stuff It's savage and it's cruel And it shines like destruction Comes in like the flood
Eurythmics	And it seems like religion It's noble and it's brutal It distorts and deranges And it wrenches you up And you're left like a zombie ~ Lyrics to “Love is a Stranger” - Click to Play Sample
British Musical Duo

In 1980, the founders of Eurythmics Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox retreated to Chalk Farm in London, using a bank loan to set up a tiny 8-track studio above a picture framing factory, giving them freedom to record without having to pay expensive studio fees. They began to employ much more electronics in their music, collaborating with Raynard Faulkner and Adam Williams. They continued to record many tracks and play live using various line-up permutations. However, the three singles RCA released for them that year ("This is the House," "The Walk," and "Love Is a Stranger") all flopped on release in the UK. The band's state of affairs became critical — although their mode of operation had given them the creative freedom they desired, commercial success eluded them, and the responsibility of running so many of their affairs personally (down to roadying their own equipment) was exhausting. Lennox suffered at least one nervous breakdown during this period, while Stewart was hospitalized with a collapsed lung. The Eurythmics were finished and so was the duos relationship - Lennox and Stewart decided to discontinue their romantic liaison which had created the magic between the two. The lyrics are available at at Stllyrics

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1991, S.M. Stirling published The Charge of Lee's Brigade. The American colonies never broke away from the British Empire, its 1854 and Robert E. Lee leads a Virginian brigade in the Crimean War. Since 1832 Viceroy's Commissions in the forces of British North America had been theoretically equal to the Queen's commissions in the British Army proper. “Old School” Commander Lord Cardigan seemingly had not heard this news having a vocal contempt for all colonials. Sent into the Valley of Death, the four regiments of American cavalry were decimated by Russian artillery, witnessed by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. So moving was the senseless slaughter, and angered by the use of the colonials as sub-human cannon fodder, Tennyson penned the immortal lines Theirs not to reason why / Theirs but to do and die. The poem became a freedom rallying cry in the southern states. For the first time in almost a century, independence was talked about openly. The decision was free Americans, or sub-human colonials, and really, it was a no brainer that was settled very quickly. Within five years, Lee was sworn in as Confederate President in Richmond, whilst the Northern states remained within the Empire. Triangulation pressures emerged as one of the many causes of the War of the States that broke out in Lee's second term...

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2009, the TV networks presented episode twenty four of So What If?. After defeating Washington, Lord Cornwallis struggles to put the American Revolutionary genie back in the bottle.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Queen

In 1983, the drummer of the band Queen Roger Taylor said "Let's give them the works!". The result was the recording of eleventh studio album, "The Works" at the Record Plant, Los Angeles, California and Musicland Studios, Munich, Germany. Marking a partial return to their rock roots, with a much lighter approach the album also had the heaviest electronics amongst all group albums. Quite simply an awesome piece of musical genius, "The Works" was yet another milestone in Queen's forty year dominance of the music business.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1935, Officer John Bruce of the Tank Corps Regiment revealed that Text II of the "Seven Pillars of Wisdom" was far from "substantially complete and accurate" as Colonel TE Lawrence had falsely claimed. Text I was a sincere record of Lawrence's capture at Deraa in November 1917, yet Lawrence lied, saying that it had been mislaid or stolen whilst changing trains at Reading Station in November 1919.
Clouds Hill Cottage	Bruce revealed that after Deraa, Lawrence had suffered such terrible nightmares that he had ripped five pages from his war diary in shame. That had not worked either, and then he had turned to John Bruce to suppress the darkness within him, to expidate the disastrous loss of integrity he had suffered that dreadful night.
Lawrence's Woodland Retreat

John Bruce helped Lawrence to suppress the darkness, but it took him ten years. ~ entry by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

Elimina Castle	In 1482, the sun set at St. George El Mina Castle on the Gulf of Guinea. The long night of six hundred years was about to begin for the child Kwame.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1931, little known counter-historian Winston S Churchill combined fiction and fact in his publication “If Lee Had Won The Battle Of Gettysburg” and indulged in the quaint conceit of imagining what would have happened if some important or ..	Winston Churchill
.. unimportant event had settled itself differently. In Churchill's far-fetched world, the Union and not the Confederacy wins the War of the States and the world is much changed. Using a clever coda technique, Churchill finishes the story with an alternative version of his American mother's upbringing in a victorious United States of America with the story being dictated in 10 Downing Street.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Tsarevich	In 1917, Tsar Nicholas II and the magician Grigory Rasputin were locked in a truly Faustian bargain. Rasputin was sleeping with the Empress Alexandra Fyodorovna at the Elysees regencia hotel during the Paris Peace Conference. From the same august location, he was also sparing the precious life of Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich ..
.. of Russia from a terminal blood-related condition known only to the Russian Royal Household. Blood Sucking vampirism.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1991, Kim Stanley Robinson published his masterful short story Lucky Strike posing the question What if the Enola Gay crashed on a practice flight? The "Lucky Strike" is selected to bomb Hiroshima, ..	Kim Stanley Robinson
.. but its bombardier is a sadist excited by the power of the atomic bomb. He diverts the plan to Tokyo, creating an even more horrific human catastrophe.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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A Milkman's Tale

Today In Alternate History

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The Announcement

Groggy Alternate Historian Says: The littlest historian has had a rough weekend, involving the escape of fluids and other horrible things from various orifices, so my night was not the most restful. So, Steve will get the whole post today – except for me reminding you to send in your alternate birthdays for me (August 14, 1965) and Steve (November 22, 1967) for our Birthday Contest!

Benny Hill	In 1973, a royal garden party at Buckingham Palace descended into farce. The comedian Benny Hill had been invited to accept the anachronistic award of Order of the British Empire. Not one to miss an opportunity for mischief, the Duke of Edinburgh asked where his milkman's outfit was.
Whereupon Mr Hill entered the Palace to change into a milkman's outfit and chased the female members of the Royal Family around the grounds of Buckingham Palace. Mary Whitehouse described the scenes as disgraceful. Many felt that perhaps the lady doth protest too much, and the scenes represented a deepest fear, secret fantasy.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1975, former President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa was startled awake by Frank Sheeran at the two-story house at 17841 Beaverland in Detroit's tough Brightmoor neighborhood.
Jimmy Hoffa	Sheeran had some decoration worked planned for the afternoon. Lured to the Beaverland house by Sheeran, Hoffa would have his house "painted" when Sheeran fired two shots into his brain. First though, they had to met the Tralfamadorians; aliens who Kurt Vonngeut had likened to Plumber's friends.
You could say that Hoffa, Sheeran and the Tralfamadorians had divergent perspectives on death. For relaxation, Jimmy enjoyed boating trips wherein he and friends would chum the waters, shoot sharks with Thompson submachine guns and/or beat sharks to death with nail studded baseball bats. Sheeran was a professional killer whose conscience was troubled to some degree, forcing an improbably deathbed confession described by former Delaware chief deputy attorney general Charles Brandt in his book "I Heard You Paint Houses". The Tralfamadorians have the ability to experience reality in four dimensions; meaning, roughly, that they have total recall of both past and future, and they are able to randomly access any part of their lives from birth to death, at will. Able to see along the timeline of the universe, they know the exact time and place of its accidental annihilation by means of a Tralfamadorian experiment, but are powerless to prevent it. Because they believe that when a person dies, he is still alive in another time and place, they reply "So it goes" to news of a death. Consequently, they are placid in their fatalism. Even though Hoffa would die shortly after the meeting, they knew he was blissfully happy back in 1964 when he had signed the single national freight agreement, a huge breakthrough for the American labour movement. Both were simply points on the same continuum of course.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain What a glorious feelin', I'm happy again I'm laughing at clouds, so dark up above The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place
Gene Kelly	Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face I walk down the lane With a happy refrain Just singin', Singin' in the rain ~ Lyrics to “Singin' in the Rain” - Click to Watch Dance Scene (9mb)
Banned

Arguably the most gifted dancer of his generation, Gene Kelly was a lifelong Democratic Party supporter with strong progressive convictions, which frequently created difficulty for him as his heyday coincided with the McCarthy era in the US. In 1947, he was part of the Hollywood delegation which flew to Washington to protest at the first official hearings by the House Committee on Un-American Activities. His first wife, Betsy Blair, was suspected of being a Communist sympathiser. Under pressure from the American Legion, MGM, withdrew their offer to Blair of a part in Marty (1955). Kelly used his position on the board of directors of The Writer's Guild of America on a number of occasions to mediate disputes between unions and the Hollywood studios, and although he was frequently accused by the Right of championing the unions, he was valued by the studios as an effective mediator. His high profile status was not without a price though. Most controversially, and partly due to bad timing, Kelly was barred from probably the most popular and admired of all film musicals - Singin' in the Rain (1952). A part that was filled by Fred Astair who brought both dignity and pose to the key piece dance theme, yet may have lacked Kelly's easygoing swagger. In a very real sense, art mirrored reality with the contrasts of the two Americas of the 1950s – Kelly vs. Astair. The lyrics are available at at Stllyrics

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1944, the Jet Fighters of Oberst Werner Moelders' reinvigorated Luftwaffe delay Operation Overlord long enough for the Kriegsmarine to mine the English Channel. Yet, Moelders was forced to resign - refusing to deny his Catholic faith to Vati. Disgraced, Moelders wonders if his tactical brilliance has led to a strategic blunder - sustaining the Nazi regime that would otherwise have perished.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1930, the journalist Winston Churchill published If Moltke had not won the Battle of the Marne in Scribner's Magazine. This clever reverse alternative history starts with the memorable lines - "If [Chief of Staff Helmuth von] Moltke [the Younger] after his triumphal entry into Paris had merely been the soldier, his achievements would have ended on the battlefield. It was his September Declaration... that opened the low roads of despair along which we are now marching so precipitously.".

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2009, the TV networks presented episode twenty six of So What If?. Woodrow Wilson rejects Ho Chi Minh's Peace Gambit in 1919. A sanguine Uncle Ho turns to Mahatma Gandhi's teachings as the French Union struggles to suppress non-violent confrontation throughout Indochina.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Chocky	In 1968, the alien friend known as "Chocky" explained to Matthew Gore why his schoolwork and artistic talent had improved dramatically. Doctor Landis had described it as a "possession", but in fact Chocky's accomodation in Matthew Gore's mind was more symbiotic.
The alien force did not want to destroy the population of earth but instead help it and guide it to the stars. Chocky explained that it was primitive for current generation rocketry to break free of gravity using brute force. It made more sense to understand the force of XXX (a symbol he was unable to pict in Matthew's mind) and negate gravity rather than fight it with the wasteful power of carbon fuels. Chocky's race wanted to share this technology with humans. The trouble was powerful groups wished to tap into the amazing fund of knowledge to which Matthew Gore was now party, and what was the value of a little boy's life against such an incalculable prize? Sir William Thorbe at the Home Office was way ahead of these groups, and couldn't wait to get Matthew Gore into a secure unit under Salisbury Plain where the knowledge could be captured and put to the appropriate use.
~ variant entry by Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been used to celebrate John Wyndham's genius.

Elimina Castle	In 1482, to pass the long night of six hundred years at St. George El Mina Castle, Kwame’s brother spoke to him of African Poetry. “We pity you, your country's burning sun is nothing but a shadow, on your serene 'civilized' brow and the thought of your grandmother's hut
Brings blushes to your face that is bleached By years of humiliation and bad conscience And while you trample on the bitter red soil of Africa Let these words of anguish keep time with your restless step. Oh I am lonely so lonely here.”
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1952, on this day 33rd US President Harry S Truman received an unpleasant surprise on the stump. Actually, it was to result in his very salvation. Truman was asked to clarify three points by a particular incisive line of questioning at a Town Hall meeting in California.	Harry S Truman
a) On what basis would nuclear weapons be used in the future b) Did he not agree that by using nuclear weapons in Asia, he had demonstrated US reluctance to sustain combat casualties that Communist nations would consider acceptable c) In conclusion had he not condemned Asia to interminable lands wars in which American commitment was less than decisive. Privately, Truman regretted his decision to approve the use of nuclear weapons, on the basis of Pandora's Box logic. He had legitimised the use of the super weapon, and should General MacArthur be elected, and not him, then surely massive nuclear action could follow in Korea and Manchuria.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Rasputin	In 1917, the magician Grigory Rasputin met with the nest of vampires in Paris. You could say he was triple-dealing. Formally, he was the Tsar's representative for release negotiations for Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich who was being held hostage. Privately, he had collusively arranged the abduction because his agenda also required ..
.. the Peace Conference to announce a Free Vampire State of Transylvania, a condition for the Tsarevich's release. And finally, he had another motive. Empress Alexandra Fyodorovna was looking for an excuse to be turned, and in a moment of bed-chamber weakness, Rasputin had agreed to set-up a pretext for that exigency.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, on this day at 8.15 am B-29 Enola Gay, piloted and commanded by 509th Composite Group commander Colonel Paul Tibbets drops the nuclear bomb “Little Boy” on Hiroshima. Enola Gay turns around to head back to North Field, an airbase on Tinian in the West Pacific. The crew observe a huge mushroom cloud forming ..	Hiroshima
.. over the destroyed city. The cloud continues to expand. 250 km off the coast of Japan, the cloud is still expanding in their direction. They radio North Field for further instructions. Inside the deepest recesses of Colonel Paul Tibbets disciplined military mind, the most dreadful suspicion starts to take shape.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Simple Tradesfolk

August 5th, 2007

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The Announcement

Alternate Begging: My birthday is coming up quickly, (August 14, 1965), and Steve's follows after, (November 22, 1967), so you only have a limited amount of time to get in an alternate birthday for our birthday contest! Send us the lives we were meant to live...

When we got to the hospital, I noticed an odd crowd in the visiting room. There were about seven men and women all dressed in dark gray clothing gathered around one man who was dressed in black. The cut of their clothing was virtually identical, a kind of Nehru-jacket outfit that wouldn't have looked out of place in a documentary about India, but definitely looked out of place here.
The man in the black jacket was dark-skinned and slightly exotic-looking, but his accent sounded pure American. He was giving the nurse at the desk a difficult time. “And, if Brother Johnson is not delivered to us soon, my lawyers will make sure that this so-called hospital never treats another patient again.” He wasn't shouting, but his voice was authoritative, and carried throughout the room and into the hallway.
“It'll just be a few more minutes, sir,” the nurse said, clearly exasperated. “Could you please sit down? You're disturbing the other visitors.”
“I mean to disturb them,” he replied, annoyed at her request. “They should be disturbed that someone can be trapped in this place as if it was a prison.”
That annoyed the nurse. “No one is trapped here, Mr. Dharne. We just have to process Mr. Johnson's paperwork.”
“He's only been here a day,” Dharne said, thumping lightly on the desk. The ones in gray around him glowered down on the nurse menacingly. “How much paperwork can there possibly be?”
“You'd be amazed,” I said, interposing myself between the embattled nurse and Mr. Dharne. “You have to fill out two forms just to go to the bathroom.” Francine looked at me nervously on the other side of Dharne's people while I went on, smiling politely. “This woman really can't make things go any faster while she's talking to you, sir.” The nurse took the opportunity of my distraction to scurry away from the desk.
Mr. Dharne and his friends turned their attention to me. “You have the look of a doctor, even if you don't have the white coat,” he said, his tone neutral. He was a handsome man, probably in his forties, with close-cropped hair and eyes that were large and piercing. They fairly glowed in contrast to the color of his skin. “What is your name?”
“Doctor Thomas Miles,” I said, extending my hand out to shake. He didn't take it. “And you are?”
“The Reverend Avinash Dharne,” he said, and his companions made a small gesture with their hands. It was a little disconcerting. “I am here to free one of my flock.”
I tried to smile and be casual about it. “The hospital's not really a prison, Reverend.”
He was not going to be friendly. His attitude remained cold. “There are many prisons in life, Doctor Miles.” One of the women in gray whispered in his ear, and he turned to see one of the on-duty doctors, accompanied by two security guards, approaching him. “As these men doubtlessly know.” He turned from me and directed his scornful attention on the other doctor. “I do not see Brother Johnson. Why is he not accompanying you?”
The doctor indicated a private consultation room. “Perhaps we could speak in there.”
“We will speak here,” Dharne said, not moving.
“I don't want to disturb the other visitors and patients out here,” the doctor said, still trying to be civil.
He needn't have bothered. “They should be disturbed at the fact that they are apparently not allowed to leave when they wish to.” There was some muttering going on among the other people sitting in the room. “Please bring Brother Johnson to us.”
The doctor sighed. “Mr. Johnson is in very grave condition, sir. We're a little worried that he might not make it through the night.” I looked over at Francine, and could tell we were both surprised by that. The man had looked pretty bad when we brought him in, but I hadn't thought he was that bad off.
Dharne was speaking again. “Of course he won't make it through the night if he stays here,” he said, disdain practically dripping from his tongue. “You might as well call yourself Witch Doctor Central. We will care for Brother Johnson. Release him now, or our attorneys shall force you to comply within the hour.”
The doctor decided to drop his own efforts to be nice. “What are you, some kind of cult faith-healer? Taking that man out of this hospital would be murder, and I won't be part of it.” He turned to the security guards. “Remove these people.”
Dharne held up a hand. One of the men placed a cell phone into it, and he spoke into it. “Do you have the order, Ralph?” He listened, then smiled. “Our attorney has a court order forcing you to release Brother Johnson. He will be here in ten minutes. I suggest that by the time he gets here, we should already have Brother Johnson in our arms.” He spoke again into the cell phone. “Thank you, Ralph. Please hurry.” He snapped the cell phone shut and glowered at the doctor and the two guards. “Now, you can comply with the law, or my little 'cult' will have a hospital to add to its possessions.” He stepped up, practically nose-to-nose with the doctor. “One where you three will not have employment.”
“It's murder,” the doctor muttered. “He'll die.”
“Then he will die in the company of those who love him,” Dharne said, and the people in gray all smiled. “Now, bring him.” Still muttering, the doctor stalked off, and the guards drifted away, unsure of what to do. Dharne turned his attention back to me. “Doctor Miles. Do you work at this hospital?”
I shook my head. “No, I'm the one who found Mr. Johnson wandering on the highway.” I left Francine out of this; I didn't know if they had seen her with me or not. “So, there's no need to threaten me.”
A small smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. I guess he wasn't impervious to humor, after all. “We are grateful to you for locating Brother Johnson. His disappearance disturbed the brethren greatly.”

In 1975, former President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa had a comfortable drive to the two-story house at 17841 Beaverland in Detroit's tough Brightmoor neighborhood. His chaffeur was Frank Sheeran, Second World War veteran, Mafia hitman, truck driver, Teamsters official and close friend of Hoffa. Travel sickness was out of the question. Just after lunch Sheeran had been kind enough to surprise Hoffa with the injection of a powerful sedative at the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.
Jimmy Hoffa	In 2004, Charles Brandt, a former prosecutor and Chief Deputy Attorney General of Delaware, published the book "I Heard You Paint Houses". The title is based on a euphemistic exchange apparently used by hitmen and their would-be employers. "I heard you paint houses." "Yes, and I do my own carpentry, too." House painting alludes to the splatter of blood on walls, and "doing my own carpentry" to the task of disposing of the body.
According to Sheeran, Hoffa had more than one enemy's house "painted." Lured to the Beaverland house by Sheeran, Hoffa had his own house "painted" when Sheeran fired two shots into his brain. Shortly before, they had met with the Tralfamadorians; aliens who Kurt Vonngeut had likened to Plumber's friends. Painters, carpenters, plumbers .. to be fair, they were in good company with Hoffa. Just simple tradesfolk, doing an honest day's living.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

John Wyndham	"When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere." ~ Opening Line to "Day of the Triffids"
Author

John Wyndham was the pen name used by the often post-apocalyptic British science fiction writer John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Beynon Harris. In his earlier writings, Wyndham used various combinations of his names, such as John Beynon or Lucas Parkes. For one of his books, The Outward Urge, he actually used both the names "John Wyndham" and "Lucas Parkes", apparently pretending to be two collaborating authors. Actually there was no pretending, nor was the dual author accreditation an artistic extravagance. During a book signing ceremony in 1959 the truth was revealed. An excessively packed book shop of eager fans had caused acute anxiety for this shy and introverted author. This anxiety triggered a collapse in ego integrity which manifested as a schizophrenic episode. The alter ego Lucas Parkes emerged and explained forcefully that the apocalyptic visions of Britain were real, very real indeed. Post script - the key quotation from Day of the Triffids was a clue to the “lost time” gaps between the two personalities.

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1941, Luftwaffe flying ace Oberst Werner Moelders was recalled to Berlin by Vati. In despair, the Director General of Equipment had suicided, and Moelders was Udet's replacement; his goal - Build Fighters.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1988, Gregory Benford published his classic alternate history We Could Do Worse in Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine. In Benford's terrifying dystopian America of the 1950s Nixon threw the California delegation's support to Dwight D Eisenhower at the 1952 GOP convention, with the stipulation that he would be the vice presidential running mate. After Ike's sudden death on a Golf Lynx in 1956, Nixon begins to institute a police state, and four years later a congressman is kidnapped. Readers were shocked at the profound consequences of Adlai Stevenson's failed election bid, a strong leader who has yet to receive the recognition he is due as one of America's great presidents.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2009, the TV networks presented episode twenty five of So What If?. Cherokee pilots from World War I question whether the CSA delivered a land fit for heroes.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1935, John Bruce of the Tank Corps Regiment shocked the world's media. Text I of the "Seven Pillars of Wisdom" revealed the truth of Lawrence's capture at Deraa in November 1917. The whole truth.
Clouds Hill Cottage	Lawrence had indeed suffered a disasterous loss of integrity on that dreadful night. But his agony was of the soul, not of the near-fatal beating he had suffered at the hands of the Ottoman soldiers in Deraa. The threat of the "cough of the bey", had turned Lawrence.
Lawrence's Woodland Retreat

He betrayed the Arab Revolt, providing vital military information that enabled the Ottomans to suppress the Revolt. "Lawrence of Arabia" had acted as a double agent right up until the Treaty of Sevres, when the British were forced to recognise Turkey's 1914 pre-war borders. John Bruce helped Lawrence to suppress the darkness, but it took him ten years. When Bruce discovered the full truth of the betrayal, he had cut loosened the brake cable on Lawrence motorbike, leading to his fatal accident at Clouds Hill in May 1935. ~ entry by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

If a person were to try stripping the disguise from actors while they play a scene upon the stage, showing to the audience their real looks and the faces they were born with, would not such a one spoil the whole play? And would not the spectators think he deserved to be driven out of the theatre with brickbats, as a drunken disturber? Now what else is the whole life of mortals but a sort of comedy, in which the various actors, disguised by various costumes and masks, walk on and play each one his part, until the manager waves them off the stage?
Marillion	Moreover, this manager frequently bids the same actor go back in a different costume, so that he who has but lately played the king in scarlet now acts the flunkey in patched clothes. Thus all things are presented by shadows. ~ Pete Trewavas quoting Erasmus at Fish's funeral
Clutching at Straws

In 1987, bass guitarist Pete Trewavas quoted from Erasmus to pay tribute to lead singer Fish (real name Derek William Dick) at the funeral that followed his tragic death. In so doing he also explained the self-destructiveness of Fish and the commercial pressure that were the causes of the tension that had developed amongst members of the Prog band Marillion by the time they recorded their best and last album “Clutching at Straws”. The concept of the album is pretty easy to understand if you are a Fish-era Marillion fan: the character of "Torch" has gone from being an angst-filled singing jester from the hills of Simarillion to becoming a 30-something out of work factory worker in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA, and seeking comfort in mostly alcohol to numb himself. He is trying (but failing) to forget what lies at his feet - a failed marriage, being a deadbeat father, as well as his lack of commercial success as a singer in a band. As he gets drunk he also writes about his surroundings and his laments, which has never been better described throughout the entire album than the centrally-themed song "Sugar Mice." In fact the whole album is confessional in both tone and lyrics, some would say a cry for help.

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

Elimina Castle	In 1482, to pass the long night of six hundred years at St. George El Mina Castle, Kwame’s brother spoke to him of African Poetry.
“When at break of day of riverside, I hear the jungle of drums. Then I hear a wailing piano solo speaking of complex ways. And I lost in the morning mist of an age at a riverside keep wondering in the mystic rhythm of jungle drums and the concerto.”
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1938, little known counter-historian Winston S Churchill combined fiction and fact in his publication “While America Slept” and indulged in the quaint conceit of imagining what would have happened if some important or unimportant event had settled itself differently.	Winston Churchill
In Churchill's far-fetched world of American neutrality, the Nazis are eventually defeated by the Soviet Union. Without a Patton on the Elbe, the Red Army is left to race unchecked through Europe and across the Iberian Peninsula. In a decade-long cold war, America and Russia face each other in animosity across both the Atlantic and also the Alaskan Border, before President MacArthur attempts to reconquer the world for democracy.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Tsarevich	In 1917, the vampires of Paris seized the Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich of Russia from Elysees regencia hotel. Ostensibly, the Paris nest would not tolerate a child vampire. Forty-eight hours later, a more pragmatic reason emerged. A demand was sent to the Paris Peace Conference. The state of Transylvania must be declared a Free Vampire State.
Or else Tsarevich would be placed in a well with a steel grating on top to let the sunlight into the well where he would most assuredly turn to ashes. And in so doing, terminate the Romanov line with the death of the Tsar's only son.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1962, housekeeper Mrs Eunice Murray discovers that a dangerously close to death Marilyn Monroe has overdosed on the sleeping pill Nembutal. Rushing her to hospital, they just make it and the 36-old actress survives after a stomach pump.	Marilyn Monroe
During the course of the journey, as Monroe slips in and out of consciousness, she rambles on about her affairs with the Kennedy brothers. Monroe's former husband Joe DiMaggio hears the whole tale in the hospital. Furiously realising that the “suicide” was in fact a “Father Joe” hit to silence the scandal, he repeats it in full at a press conference the following day, destroying the brother's political careers.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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