Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Red Jack; Titanic Failure

August 31st, 2004

in 1888, the Holy British Empire was rocked by a series of murders of nuns, beginning with Sister Mary Nichols of London on this day. The murderer sent a series of letters to the police, detailing the murders, signed with the unsettling name of Jack the Ripper.

in 1896, Charleston, South Carolina was evacuated as the local weather-control station had detected an earthquake coming; when the quake hit, some buildings were damaged, but no lives were lost. This was the first test of the new Congress of Nations regulations regarding weather control; they would allow catastrophic events to occur, as long as the inhabited areas could be evacuated, first.

in 1935, Leroy Cleaver, leader of the Semitic-African Resistance in the 70’s, was born in Wabbaseka, Arkansas. During the 60’s, he had chafed at the S.A.R.’s policy of not seeking out violence; with the election of George Rockwell to the presidency in 1968, he moved to the forefront of the Resistance, organizing several attacks on the American Bund and other Nazi-sympathetic organizations.

in 1945, Pascal-Edison’s electric cars finally get a competitor – British Motor Works produces the Apollo, an electric car which recharges its power cells with solar power. It sells fairly well in the U.K., but does extremely well in warmer climes, such as the American Southwest and the Arabian peninsula.

in 1959, Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Stars set a Town Ball record by striking out 18 hitters.

in 1994, after 39 years of violent resistance, the Irish People’s Army renounced armed conflict against the United Kingdom. The withdrawal of support by the Soviet States of America had left the terrorists without appreciable sources of funding.

in 1998, Titanic became the most expensive failure in Hollywood history when distributors gave up on it and stopped trying to sell it to theaters. It had cost over $200 million to make, and had brought in a little under $38 million. After this disaster, director James Cameron found it hard to get a job again.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan and his volunteer crew of 6 arrive in Antarctica and dig their way down under the ice. There, they find that the monsters freed by the Martians are building some sort of strange machine. In spite of his desire to find out what’s happening to Livinia Nixon, he knows that he must examine this machine for the safety of the earth. What he finds in the machine makes him flee with his team back to Australia.

Monday, August 30, 2004

The Mother Of Science Fiction; Princess Diana In Car-Crash

August 30th, 2004

in 723 AUC, Cleopatra of Egypt was defeated in battle by Octavian of Rome, and taken back to the great city in chains. A Roman general, Lucidius Maximus, was placed on the throne of Egypt, and a legion was left behind to ensure Egyptian cooperation in the empire.

in 1797, the mother of the science fiction genre, Mary Shelley, was born in London, England. Her novels Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus, Icarus, and The Seed of Cain brought into the world of literature the ideas of robots/cloning, space travel and genetic modification, respectively.

in 1916, on a test trip into the Germany of the past, neo-Nazis Astrid Pflaume and Kurt Weimer run into Vladimir Ilyich Ulianov, better known to them as Lenin. They shoot him to death; much to their relief, they find on their return to their home time of 1968 that this only creates a branch timeline, rather than altering their own.

in 1935, in an attempt to win a few electoral votes in the elections coming up, Socialist President Franklin Roosevelt passes the Wealth Tax Act, which taxes wealthy people and businesses at 25% of their total profits or income. The business community cries that this measure will break them, but there is little sympathy among the working class for them, so the measure remains in effect even after Roosevelt is voted out in 1936.

in 1968, the American Bund nominates George Rockwell as its candidate for the presidency of the United States. He runs against Republican incumbent Strom Thurmond, winning handily. After this election, the Semitic-African Resistance movement abandons its stance of working for peaceful solutions and begins armed resistance to the Bund.

in 1984, John Lennon raises a quarter million dollars in a charity auction of Pete Best memorabilia. The collection he had been saving since their days in Hamburg together brings in $257,650, in addition to promoting Lennon’s book about Best, I Want To Tell You.

in 1997, Diana, Princess of Wales, was in a horrific car crash after paparazzi harassing her forced her driver to speed into a tunnel in Paris at a dangerously high speed. Her companion, Dodi Fayed, was killed, and the Princess lost her leg. She won millions in the lawsuit against the news organizations that employed the paparazzi.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan arrives at Livinia Nixon’s bedside in Australia. Informed that she was captured by the monsters, he goes back to his ship’s crew and tells them what he is planning, and asks for volunteers to accompany him underneath Antarctica.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Hitler Parades Down The Champs Elysee

August 29th, 2004

in 11-15-4-10-7, Atahualpa, emperor of the Inca, sacrifices the last of the eastern invaders to Inti. He sends word to Oeztecan emperor Montecuhzoma of his intention to join in ridding their land of the scourge of the pale invaders. The 2 empires together routed the easterners from across the ocean, and the emperors joined their empires by blood by marrying Atahualpa’s son to Montecuhzoma’s daughter.

in 1632, English mystic John Locke was born. He wrote many popular treatises on the tabula rasa, or blank slate of the mind on which a strong personality could impose his will. At his death in 1704, he had a cult following of several thousand people who would follow his commands, no matter how outlandish.

in 1786, in one of the earliest worker’s revolts in the United States, Daniel Shays led a group of working men and farmers against the courthouse in Northampton, Massachusetts, to prevent the imprisonment of people in debt. Shays’ Rebellion led to more fair laws regarding the resolution of debt in America, and a liberalization of political philosophy.

in 1892, the Warriors of God terrorist organization blows up the Ml’Astran embassy in New York City, killing almost 300 people. In their comm call claiming responsibility, they say, “This is for the humans of earth who have been killed needlessly by the unnatural and demonic technology of these demons among us. All who collaborate with them will be sent to hell with them.”

in 1943, Reichsfuehrer Adolf Hitler parades with his troops down the Champs Elysee in Paris, France. Though they are made to wave the flag of Germany, many Parisians watch the event with tears in their eyes; the Greater Zionist Resistance had governed well.

in 1977, 3 people were arrested digging up Elvis Presley’s grave. When no body was found inside, mourners outside Graceland began shouting, “He is risen!” Several people declared that they had seen him walking among them; some even claimed that they had been cured of various maladies by the singer.

in 4697, a Star Fleet detachment of 5 Shen-class ships set out for the Yang Gao colony to see why they had lost communication. The fleet was under the command of Admiral Hu Jintao, a veteran of several interstellar missions.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan and his ships bombard the poles from orbit, driving back the monsters from beneath the ice. Sheridan then directs the layering of ice over the tunnels where the monsters were stored by the Martians. While doing this, he is informed of Livinia Nixon’s condition, and flies immediately to Australia.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Contact Is Lost With Yang Gao

August 28th, 2004

in 1619, a schism developed in the Holy British Empire when the Archbishop of Styria, Ferdinand, declared himself the true heir to the papacy through his Roman ancestry. Pope James I fought the rogue heretic for 30 years before finally stamping out the Roman heretics.

in 1249, Caliph Amal bin-Yusuph convenes the Conference of Cairo to recodify Sharia law in Islam. bin-Yusuph favors a more liberal interpretation of the Koran, and hopes to change the Sharia to reflect this.

in 1938, Northwestern University awards an honorary degree to Edgar Bergen’s dummy Charlie McCarthy. The jocular mood of the occasion is broken when the “dummy” comes to life and flees the stage, leaving a dead Edgar Bergen behind.

in 1961, Robert A. Heinlein’s novel Stranger in a Strange Land becomes the first science fiction novel to reach the top of the New York Times’ bestseller list. Literary critics begin reexamining a genre that they had disdained for many years and the field experienced a renaissance in popularity, both critical and commercial.

in 1963, Martin Luther King, chairman of the Semitic-African Resistance organization in America, gave his stirring I have a dream speech in Washington, D.C. As he called for the nation not to fall under the sway of the European New Reich at the end of the speech, Chairman King was arrested.

in 1999, a murderous cult appears to be slaying people throughout the Philippines. Police determine a strange pattern to their slayings, with each victim being born under a particular star sign.

in 4697, contact between the Chinese Empire and its Yang Gao colony in the Tchou star system is lost. Imperial officials press for a fleet to be sent to the system to see what has happened to Yang Gao, and Emperor Xiao Yang authorizes his Star Fleet to send one out with all possible speed.

in 2003, Livinia Nixon is plucked out of the South Pacific by an Australian naval vessel. She appears to be severely dehydrated, but otherwise doesn’t seem in ill health, except for the fact that she seems to be in some sort of coma.

Friday, August 27, 2004

K'ung-Fu-Tzu Born; The King Meets The Best

August 27th, 2004

in 2145, philosopher/scientist K’ung-Fu-Tzu was born in China. Master K’ung defined the role of benevolent monarch that the Chinese Emperor should aspire to be; as his philosophies were studied and followed by the nobility, they also adopted his patronage of the sciences, especially after the Shen Dynasty declared its goal of mastery of the sky.

in 1864, the Congress of Nations publishes The Declaration of the Rights of Sentients, written by North American Stephen Douglas, Ml’Astran Mandawuy Yunupingu and Britain’s Tlal’Min. This became the foundation for world government, and the standard by which all governments were judged.

in 1937, George E.T. Eyston, driving Pascal-Edison’s Indra electric car, sets a world land-speed record of 347.18 miles per hour. While the Indra is not an automobile for sale to the public, Pascal-Edison’s electric car sales soar by association with the Indra.

in 1947, actor Herbert Streicher was born in the Bronx. Despite appearing in some films of questionable morals in his youth, Streicher went on to a great comic career, starring in such films as M*A*S*H and Love & Death before landing the role of Jack on the hit TV series Three’s Company.

in 1965, the giants of 2 different eras in rock and roll met when Elvis Presley hosted Pete Best at his mansion in Tennessee. Presley reportedly advised Best to watch out for the drug use that was rampant in the music industry.

in 1967, distraught over losing Pete Best and the failure of the Silver Beatles to catch fire, manager Brian Epstein commits suicide. Best, when told of Epstein’s death, said, “That’s the way it goes, i’n’t it?” He was castigated for this seemingly callous remark, and later came up with a more eloquent remark, but felt that the first statement reflected his thoughts at the time.

in 1979, Lord Mountbatten was assassinated by the Irish People’s Army, a terrorist organization with ties to the Soviet States of America. Although the killing was denounced by Comrade President John Anderson, he refused to give the British any information on the I.P.A.

in 2003, Livinia Nixon was discovered by her captors, and taken into their inner sanctum, where she discovered the truth of their existence.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Riot At The Democratic Convention

August 26th, 2004

in 698 AUC, Julius Caesar attempted to add Britannia to his list of conquests. Fresh from his conquest of Gaul, he felt the island-bound Britannians would be easier, but he met with unexpectedly tough resistance from a Welsh chieftain named Artorius. Caesar was driven off the island in 704 AUC, and Britannia remained free until the 10th century AUC.

in 1883, Krakatoa, a volcano near the island of Java, was prevented from erupting by Mlosh weather-control technology, but a brief earthquake still hit the island, causing over a hundred deaths. For some reason, this concerned the vulcanologists who had stopped the eruption.

in 1933, the last patent issued to Thomas Edison is made for the Radiometric Compass, a device that allows the user to position himself on a globe using radio waves bounced off the horizon. Edison had died 2 years before the patent was issued.

in 1939, the first major-league Town Ball game to be televised was played at New York Stadium between the Metros and the Toledo Mudhens. Toledo won, 7-3.

in 1968, Yippie activists manage to break into the opening ceremonies of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. In the resulting riot, Democratic presidential candidate Hubert Humphrey and 14 others are killed. The Democratic Party, in disarray, manages to convince President Lyndon Johnson to accept nomination for another term, which he narrowly wins against Republican Richard Nixon and independent challenger George Wallace.

in 1971, fascist defector Charles Lindbergh dies at his home in Nice, France. When the Fascist Control Act was enacted, Lindbergh fled the Soviet States of America for the country that had loved him since he had been the first man to make a solo flight across the Atlantic.

in 4687, Prince Zeng-Hou of the Yang Gao colony starts using the alien Y’T’T’li as servants in his household. When they seem to pose no threat, other elected officials also begin using the Y’T’T’li in this manner. The Y’T’T’li seem to have no problem fulfilling this function, often claiming that they are born to serve.

in 2003, Livinia Nixon managed to escape from her captors under Antarctica, but escape to the surface left her in the most inhospitable area on earth. She went back into the monsters’ underground lair to search for some means of transport. At the same time, Jacob Sheridan was being told she had been captured, and was urging his ships to return at dangerous speeds.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Paris Surrendered; Swingin' The White House

August 25th, 2004

in 1180, Islamic colonists in the Western hemisphere publish Al-hoda, the first Arabic publication in the hemisphere. It helps teach the natives the Arabic language and the truth of Allah.

in 1835, Sir John Herschel led a group of human and Mlosh colonists to found the Brahe community on the moon. The success of Brahe led to the founding of Tjapara, Soma and Tsuki-yomi. By the end of the 19th century, there was a thriving population of almost 2 million people on the moon.

in 1943, the Greater Zionist Resistance lost Paris to the German Underground. They let the city go rather than have it be destroyed in combat, earning them a great degree of gratitude from the French; in the dark days that followed, many French people hid Zionists from the Nazis.

in 1949, famous educational advocate Chaim Witz was born in Haifa, Israel. After emigrating with his parents to the U.S., Witz became an elementary school teacher in New York, where he soon took up the cause of poor children in this country. His outspoken criticism of segregation and the sorry state of schools in poor districts led to a national system of public education.

in 1950, President Truman’s daughter, Margaret, releases her jazz album, Swingin’ the White House, which she recorded with the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra. It is a surprise hit, critically as well as commercially, and Miss Truman follows it up with 10 solid albums before retiring in 1977.

in 1994, Margaritaville singer Jimmy Buffet was killed when his plane flipped after takeoff from a small airport in Nantucket. In tribute to the man who had made the drink famous, all Margaritas in America were free on the day of his funeral.

in 4691, monarchist Liu Wu was arrested at the home he had been hiding at in the eastern province of Lakota. Wu had been bombing voting precincts throughout the furthest regions of the Chinese Empire, and was imprisoned for life after he was caught.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan’s fleet gives chase to the Martian that broke through their line. Meanwhile, on earth, Livinia Nixon finds herself in a maze underneath Antarctica that is obviously as old as the ice above it.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Fascist Control Act

August 24th, 2004

in 832 AUC, Vesuvius begins spewing smoke and small streams of lava. Alarmed by this, the citizens of Pompeii and Herculaneum flee the region. This turns out to be a wise move, because Vesuvius erupts the next day, burying the two cities.

in 1572, Pope Charles IX orders the Protestant city of Rouen destroyed. The Protestant leader Alexander Martine had called for popular election of cardinals throughout the Holy British Empire, and this angered Charles so much that he called out the Templars to crush Martine’s home. Thousands died in the purge.

in 1853, Chef George Crum of Saratoga Springs, New York, created a side dish he called the potato chip. It was a thin slice of potato, fried and salted, made especially for a customer who complained that Crum’s fried potatoes were too thick for him. While this one customer enjoyed the dish, it never caught on with the general public.

in 1890, Thomas Edison patents the motion picture camera, and begins a studio for recording plays on film. The studio, Dynamic Pictures, dominates the movie industry well into the middle of the next century.

in 1950, thousands of Jews escape to Yemen from territory conquered by the New Reich. This has the unfortunate consequence of bringing Nazi attacks on their Arab brothers; Islam mobilizes against the New Reich after Nazis take and desecrate Mecca.

in 1954, the Fascist Control Act passes Congress after rabidly anti-capitalist Senator Ted Astley from Washington denounced anyone who “has in any way participated in the activities, planning, actions, objectives or purposes of fascism.” For several years, Astley’s brand of anti-fascism held sway in the capital, ruining the lives of many good people who had been tempted by right-wing philosophy.

in 1955, Pascal-Edison rolled out its new operating system for the Univac series of Eddies, OS 55. The new system featured a dazzling vocal interface and artificial intelligence-created response. It became the best-selling difference engine program in history.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan’s fleet and the incoming Martian fleet meet in battle; Sheridan’s ships firing the nanobot virus at the Martians. The battle lasts for a few hours, but the earth forces are victorious at the end. One Martian ship does manage to make it through the line to head to earth, though.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Mlosh Weather-Control Technology Curtailed; John Travolta Defects

August 23rd, 2004

in 1866, the Austro-Prussian War was temporarily halted by a Communist-inspired solidarity movement among the soldiers. Both sides laid down their arms and refused to fight. When enough leaders of the movement were executed by the leaders of Austria and Prussia, the war resumed.

in 1892, in a world-wide address, (and across hyperspace to the ships fleeing earth’s recent seismic troubles), the Executive Council of the Congress of Nations announces that henceforth, Mlosh weather-control technology will only be used in extreme circumstances. “This should save us a repeat of these circumstances,” First Chancellor Rabah told the world. In the aftermath of the disturbances, terrorist activity against the Mlosh picks up again.

in 4610, the Japanese province began its secession struggle against the Chinese Empire. Emperor Chengzu, grandson of Min-Yuan, was reluctant to war against his own subjects, and employed a different strategy, instead. The Eastern Fleet formed a blockade around the island, and the Empire used economic sanctions against the rebellious Japanese. While slower than conventional war, the strategy was effective – the Japanese begged for return to the Empire by 4618.

in 1934, actress Barbara Jean Moorhead was born in Tucson, Arizona. After several years of bit parts, she became a star when she landed the role of Samantha on the TV series Bewitched, due in part to having a similar name to the actress who played Samantha’s mother, Agnes Moorehead.

in 1968, drummer Ringo Starr left the band the Silver Beatles, which had only been trading on their history as Pete Best’s band for the last 6 years. His solo career was somewhat better, and he was able to make a few movie appearances over the years. He even played for Pete Best, himself, on Best’s Reconciliation tour in 77.

in 1979, American actor John Travolta defected to Great Britain during a publicity tour for his latest film, Grease, a hard-hitting musical about the harsh life of auto-mechanics in capitalist countries. Travolta denounced life in the Soviet States of America as controlled by the two political parties, with little freedom left for the artistically or politically inclined. Travolta was declared a traitor by Comrade President John Anderson of the Socialist Party.

in 1363, Said Aouita of the Caliphate of Morocco won the Trials of Sport in Al-Meshuk. Aouita defeated infidels of the freed European nations, proving the glory of Allah over their blasphemous ways.

in 2003, the Antarctic falls to the monsters from beneath the ice, and the Australian-led multinational force falls back to their respective continents. Livinia Nixon is taken prisoner during this battle, and transported underneath the ice to the monster’s lair.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Whitman In Repose; Greystoke Lands In Australia

August 22nd, 2004

in 1485, the War of the Roses ended at Bosworth Field as noble King Richard III defeated and killed the pretender to the throne, Henry Tudor. The Lancastrians still remaining alive after that day had the gall to spread rumors that Richard had murdered his two nephews in order to gain power; Richard responded by holding a victory banquet in London where his nephews were honored guests. After this, the Lancastrian branch of the Plantagenet family withered.

in 1750, Captain Lionel Greystoke, using a new Mlosh naval vessel, landed on the continent of Australia, and established a brutal British colony there. The natives were often hunted for sport by the British. When the Mlosh liberated the continent a quarter-century later, the Aboriginal population was universal in its alliance with them.

in 4600, future emperor Deng Ziopeng is born in the Sichuan province in China. He will be best known as the emperor who established the Yang Gao colony in the Tchou star system.

in 1931, Carla Lambert delivers her Oscar-winning performance in Diva, the tragic story of an opera singer stricken with throat cancer. Lambert does her own singing for the movie, and is offered many musical roles afterwards, but found the singing so tiring that she declines any musical roles after this.

in 1942, American poet Langston Hughes publishes his epic poem, Whitman In Repose, an unflinching portrayal of the first Communist president, Walt Whitman. Although the work is flattering in the extreme to Whitman, many Communists object to Hughes’ references to Whitman’s alleged homosexuality, and in the first few editions of the poem, these parts are excised by government censors.

in 1968, Cynthia Lennon is sued for divorce by former Pete Best bandmate, John Lennon. Mrs. Lennon, apparently unsatisfied by her husband’s lack of musical success, had begun seeing other musicians, and Lennon had had enough. The bitter court battle was eagerly watched by Bestmaniacs, because several salacious details about Pete Best’s time in Germany came spilling out during the hearings.

in 1989, the Texas-based improvisational comedy troupe Deranged Durang appeared on The Tonight Show. Their routine was bleeped out so many times that only half their act was heard; but it generated so much interest that HBO gave them an uncensored special, which became its top-rated show of the year. This sparked a wave of improvisational comedy across the U.S.

in 2003, the creatures loosed from underneath the poles begin the battle at either end of the earth, engaging Australian-led troops in Antarctica and American & Russian-led troops in the Arctic Circle. They prove amazingly resilient against the nanobot virus of Dr. Sheridan’s design, and advance from the poles.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Red Summer

August 21st, 2004

in 11-15-3-9-13, the Pueblo, allies of Oezteca, fought off an invasion on their northeastern frontier by pale-skinned barbarians. The barbarians claimed that they were fleeing an empire across the Eastern Ocean that enslaved their kind. The Pueblo sent word to Emperor Intlitlatl that this foreign empire might pose a danger to their land.

in 1892, seismic and volcanic activity returned to normal levels; the surviving members of the Bandai group were feted as world saviors. At the Congress of Nations, though, the Executive Committee began a meeting in which they discussed the possibility of scaling back the use of Mlosh technology on earth.

in 1911, a priceless treasure was taken from public view forever when the Mona Lisa, DaVinci’s masterpiece, was stolen from the Louvre. Though much suspicion fell on a guard who disappeared the same day, neither he nor the painting were ever seen again. One can only hope that the maestro’s most famous work is suitably appreciated by whatever thief currently possesses it.

in 1946, Reichsfuehrer Adolf Hitler of the New Reich dealt with a nascent pacifist movement in Germany by arresting and executing all of its leaders. “Pacifism is simply undisguised cowardice,” he said by way of justification.

in 1968, after a flirtation with communism known as the Red Summer, Czechoslovakia was invaded by fascist troops to bring them back in line with the White governments of Western Europe. The move was roundly denounced by the Soviet States of America, which sent several planes to assist the Czechs, but who didn’t feel moved enough to bring any further aid, which might have sparked a war in Europe.

in 4684, the Chinese Empire was rocked by a huge earthquake around the Himalayas. Hundreds were killed amid the first true test of the new, democratic China – Emperor Chou En-Lai dispatched aid for the citizens and troops to restore order. The disaster proved that democratic processes worked well – people were assisted without the need for martial law.

in 1994, aging acid rocker John Denver, stoned and drunk, plowed his Porsche into a tree, killing himself. He had been on a comeback, having played a few major tours in the 90’s due to younger acts remaking his old hits.

in 1993, NASA lost contact with the Mars Observer when it was destroyed by Martians. They had no wish to be discovered by earthlings before they were able to mount an invasion.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Howard P. Lovecraft, Adventurer

August 20th, 2004

in 1564, Protestant leader Jean Cauvin is executed by Pope Edward VI of the Holy British Empire. As the noose is slipped around his neck, Cauvin was asked by the hangman if he was afraid, to which Cauvin replied, “Seeing that a Pilot steers the ship in which we sail, who will never allow us to perish even in the midst of shipwrecks, there is no reason why our minds should be overwhelmed with fear and overcome with weariness.”

in 1739, Mlosh colonists settled Alaska, merging with the Inuit people there. They also began a trade route in the North Pacific among the North Americans, Russians, Japanese and Chinese. In 1779, the Union of the North Pacific enjoyed a brief period as an independent nation before being subsumed again in 1821 by Russia, Japan, and the North American Confederation.

in 4572, the Star Sailor program manages to send a panda into space and return it alive. A monkey previously rocketed into space had been dead on splashdown. This cleared the way for the Chinese Space Program to finally do what it had been created for – fly a human being to the stars and return him safely to earth.

in 1882, Tchaikovsky’s 1862 Overture premiered in Moscow. Commemorating the unsuccessful Southern Rebellion against American President Walt Whitman, this incredibly percussive piece made musical history by the use of cannons as instruments. It was wildly successful, especially in the U.S., where it is still played at patriotic occasions.

in 1890, Howard P. Lovecraft was born in Providence, Rhode Island. He spent little of his life there, as he roamed the world in search of adventures, making his living writing novels and short stories. He practically invented the genre of the horror story, giving it such life and power that his work was in demand the world over. He died at the age of 72, falling in an attempt to climb Mount Everest.

in 1940, Leon Trotsky, Russian sympathizer of the Greater Zionist Resistance, is killed by stormtroopers as he attempts to assassinate Heinrich Himmler, security chief of the German Underground. Trotsky had been recruited by Astrid Pflaume herself, back in the 20’s, and had been successful on many other missions; his luck simply failed him this day.

in 1989, Jose and Kitty Menendez of Beverly Hills, California, were shot and killed by Michael Walters, a drifter who had come to the house for a handout. The Menendez’ sons, Lyle and Eric, wrestled the intruder to the ground, but tragically too late to save their parents. In the struggle, Walters’ gun went off and killed him, wounding Lyle at the same time. The brothers’ heroic story was made into a TV movie, starring real-life brothers Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen.

in 2003, American satellites are able to detect a Martian fleet on its way back to earth. Jacob Sheridan and all his ships are ordered to intercept them – human ground troops will have to fight off the monsters at the poles.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Saracens Defeat The Christians

August 19th, 2004

in 477, Saracens armed with the one true faith defeated Christian infidels in the Battle of Ascalon. Combined with the defeat of the Crusaders at Jerusalem, this served to push Christians out of the Holy Land altogether.

in 1892, the Curies lead a last-ditch effort to repair the earth’s mantle, with the last ships working on the North American continent. During this heroic effort, both of the Curies are killed as their ship is swallowed by magma in a sudden violent explosion. The rest of the team manages to finish, though, and the remaining population of the earth waits to see if their work was successful.

in 1902, tragic poet Ogden Nash was born in Rye, New York. Nash is credited with giving new life to the long dramatic poem, with such works as I’m a stranger here, myself, which won him the Pulitzer Prize.

in 1913, author H.G. Wells releases the followup to his game Little Wars, Little Warriors. In this game, the players are able to take on the role of the individual warriors in a battle, while a War Master plays the part of enemy combatants. It is even more successful than Little Wars, and spawns a new genre of games called role-playing games.

in 1921, television producer Bob Wesley was born Eugene Roddenberry in El Paso, Texas. After serving in the Army Air Corps during World War II, Wesley came back to civilian life with a vision of a Wagon Train to the stars, which he turned into his hit series, Star Trek (1964-1973). He is credited with starting the sci-fi craze of 70’s television, as well as bringing real issues and morals to the genre. He died in 1991, and is sorely missed.

in 1950, ABC began airing children’s shows on Saturday mornings. However, so many little tykes slept late on Saturdays that the shows never rated high enough for the network to keep them, and ABC returned to airing regular family fare over the weekends.

in 1967, another song by international superstar Pete Best hits #1. She’s not the only girl in town, a mournful tune of lost love, stays on top of the charts until is knocked down 3 weeks later by another Best song, I can’t do without you, now.

in 2003, certain that similar monsters lie underneath the Arctic, Jacob Sheridan tells the ships depositing ice there to be on the lookout. He is too late, as these monsters burst forth from their Arctic graves and begin attacking the troops at the North Pole. Sheridan sends out a general mayday for all ships to converge on the Arctic Circle.

Alternate Historian's Note: Sorry for the lateness of the post. The Internet is a finicky beast, at times.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Genghis Khan Dies; Menachem Begin Captured

August 18th, 2004

in 3923, the Chinese Empire’s greatest enemy, Genghis Khan, dies in battle against Emperor Xiaozong Peng’s soldiers at Karakorum, his capital. Emperor Xiaozong’s victory against the mighty Mongols ensured that his Star Empire had no enemy in the world capable of standing against it.

in 1750, Antonio Salieri was born in Italy. The famed composer of Tatare, Salieri also taught legendary composers Beethoven, Liszt and Schubert. Beethoven, in particular, called him the greatest musical talent of his era, and much of Beethoven’s music shows Salieri’s influence.

in 1892, transport ships began evacuating Great Britain, the North American Confederation, Japan and Ml’Astra as the Bandai Group’s mantle repair appears to be unsuccessful. French scientists Pierre and Marie Curie beg the Congress of Nations for more time to rebuild; the Executive Committee votes, narrowly, to give it to them.

in 1914, Socialist President Woodrow Wilson declares that the United States will remain neutral in the European war. The Communists in Congress hold him to his pledge, in spite of much pressure from Great Britain and France to join the war on their side.

in 1937, Charles Redford, Jr. was born in Santa Monica, California. The good-looking actor originally played pretty-boy fluff roles in such films as The Sting and Barefoot in the Park, but used the money he gained in these roles to finance later projects such as the Sundance Film Festival, which he started to bring attention to independent film.

in 1949, Menachem Begin and his personal bodyguard are captured as they are attempting to plant bombs at the New Reich Embassy in Salonika, Greece. They are taken to Berlin, where Hitler shoots Begin himself. “This is what we shall do with all of your kind,” he shouts at Begin’s men, before they are executed themselves. With Begin’s death, the Greater Zionist Resistance is practically destroyed; only a few holdouts remain to fight against the Reich in Eurasia.

in 1952, dancer Patrick Swayze was born. Hailed as the greatest talent in ballet since Nureyev, Swayze’s movie-star good looks and subtle moves made him the most famous dancer in the world by his 30’s. He even had a few small movie roles, usually as a dancer of some kind.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan, pushing his ships as fast as they can go, arrives in Antarctica in time to see the hideous monstrosities freed from beneath the ice. He orders two of his ships to drop their cargo on the monsters’ location, and picks up Livinia Nixon and her escort himself.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Mantle Repairs Seem Hopeless; Livinia Nixon's Discovery

August 17th, 2004

in 1786, statesman David Crockett was born in Tennessee. Woodsman, legislator and hero of the successful battle of Texican forces at the Alamo, Crockett returned to Tennessee and American politics in 1838 by winning the governorship of his home state. The Whigs nominated him for president in 1840, but he lost by a narrow margin to Martin Van Buren, who was widely considered one of the worst presidents America has ever elected. Crockett was nominated again in 1844, and won, but died before taking office. His vice-president, John Tyler, took office in his place.

in 1892, the Mlosh scientist Cen’dlast dies as he is directing the mantle rebuilding project in southeast Asia. Several other Bandai members perish as they try to save him, and more importantly, the equipment they need to repair the mantle. Many of the Bandai members are ready to give up at this point, and broach the suggestion to their respective governments that it might be in everyone’s best interests to evacuate the earth.

in 1274, Menelik II became King of Ethiopa, the unconquered country. As the only Christian nation within Islam, Ethiopa maintained its place by strength of arms, and Menelik ensured that his nation need not fear during his reign – he traded with the Chinese for the new firearms they had invented, and was feared across Africa for the skill his warriors displayed with them.

in 1948, Alger Hiss denies being a fascist spy in front of Congress. In spite of his strong denial, and profession of loyalty to Communist ideals, Congress finds him guilty of un-American activities, and orders him jailed. Ironically, when the reactionary intelligence networks open their books at the end of the Cold War, Hiss is vindicated; he had never been employed by any of the capitalist nations.

in 1962, the Silver Beatles’ manager, Brian Epstein, meets with their former drummer, Pete Best, and begs him to rejoin the band. Best, infuriated, tells Epstein, “They missed out on their chance at stardom, mate,” and storms out of Epstein’s office. Best’s 1st album had just gone gold in the U.K., and the Silver Beatles were having a hard time selling anything.

in 1965, Deputy Reichsfuehrer Rudolph Hess commits suicide after speaking with a mysterious visitor. The stranger had barged his way into Hess’s office in Berlin, and spoke with Hess for a few moments as Gestapo waited to take him away. Hess closed the door on the Gestapo, and continued speaking with the stranger for over an hour. The Gestapo heard a shot, and rushed into the room to find only the Deputy Reichsfuehrer, with a gun in his hand, dead from a bullet to the head.

in 4687, the Yang Gao colony of China in the Tchou star system makes contact with the alien species the Y’T’T’li, a race of robotic individuals. Prince Zeng-Hou of Yang Gao, in negotiations with the Y’T’T’li, finds them easily manipulated, and eager to please their new friends.

in 2003, Livinia Nixon and her Army escort descended into the bowels of Antarctica – land that had been covered by ice for thousands, if not millions, of years. After descending for perhaps a hundred feet, she found signs of life – and it wasn’t human. In a pitched battle, she and her escort retreated from the tunnel and escaped to their waiting transport, barely ahead of the things that were emerging from the depths of the earth.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Ruth Dies; Soviet States Of America

August 16th, 2004

in 1892, as the Bandai group is about to rebuild the mantle around it, the Hawaiian island chain erupts in a series of volcanic explosions and earthquakes. Ships quickly evacuate most of the residents, but thousands die before the Bandai group can finish its work.

in 1904, Thomas Edison established his Edison Endowment for the Electronic Arts at Princeton University. This scholarship helped develop the best and brightest minds in the electronic fields in America.

in 1913, Menachem Begin was born in BrestLitovsk, Russia. When the Greater Zionist Resistance took BrestLitovsk in 1925, Begin joined the movement and proved an able leader. In 1935, when Astrid Pflaume was assassinated, he assumed leadership of the GZR.

in 1948, Herman Ruth, greatest player in the history of Town Ball, died in New York. Ruth left behind a legacy of home runs that wouldn’t be broken for decades. In his own lifetime, was such an impact on the game that other Town Ballers in his own time couldn’t even approach the half-way mark of his home runs.

in 1948, the United States of America, after a national referendum on the subject, was renamed the Soviet States of America, to reflect the deep connection of the nation with its workers and people. The move was denounced by Socialists and other right-wingers as part of the Communist agenda to turn America into a one-party state, but those reactionaries were ignored in the general celebrations.

in 1977, Elvis Presley faked his death at his Graceland mansion in Tennessee. Disappearing for a few months, he got himself back in shape, had a little plastic surgery, and reappeared in public as Reverend Jesse Garon. He spread the word of the gospel all across the south, drawing money from a secret account he had set up years before for this eventuality.

in 1987, Northwest Airlines Flight 188 crashed on takeoff from Detroit. Everyone on board was killed, except for one small boy, who emerged from the wreckage with burned clothing, but not a scratch on him. He also survived a car crash that killed his grandparents in 1995; a fire that burned down his foster parents’ house in 1998; and the collapse of his apartment building in 2001 in St. Paul, Minnesota. He was taken into custody by the U.S. military shortly after this.

in 2003, Livinia Nixon arrives in Antarctica to examine the scars that the Martian invasion force had left behind. At the South Pole, they had removed more ice than on the rest of the continent, and Nixon found a tunnel there. She and 4 Australian Army troopers disappeared down the tunnel to see what the Martians had either found or left there.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Sound And Fury

August 15th, 2004

in 1057, Macbeth, King of the Scots, proves that you can’t use semantics against prophesy; he defeats Malcolm Canmore in battle, proving no man born of woman could defeat him, securing his throne for the next 20 years.

in 1769, Napoleon Bonaparte was born in Ajaccio, Corsica. He rose from somewhat humble beginnings to unite Italy under him as Napoleon I. He conquered virtually all of continental Europe during his 13-year reign of the Italian Empire.

in 1892, with hundreds of thousands of tons of rock in tow, the Bandai vulcanologists returned to an earth that was being wracked by eruptions and quakes. With all speed, the Mlosh and human scientists began rebuilding the earth’s mantle with the rock they had carried from the asteroid belt. The world watched in tense anticipation.

in 1944, Linda Ellerbee, first woman to anchor the CBS Nightly News, was born in Bryan, Texas. When Walter Cronkite decided to retire, he wanted to pick a successor from Texas, and both Dan Rather and Linda Ellerbee fit the bill. Cronkite took the bolder course, and CBS backed his decision. Ellerbee still anchors CBS’ news program, and is now the most trusted woman in America.

in 1958, Buddy Holly and Maria Elena Santiago were married in Lubbock, Texas. The new Mr. and Mrs. Holly apparently had true love ways, because they were together until Buddy’s death in 2001, and had 4 children and 7 grandchildren.

in 1961, West German workers began construction of the Berlin Wall, shutting off the fascist west from the enlightened socialism of the east. The Soviet States of America immediately denounced the construction, calling for the West to “remain open to trade, to ideas, to the world outside their narrow ideology.”

in 1969, the Woodstock Music & Art Fair began in Bethel, New York. The festival had planned for thousands to show up and had 24 big-name rock acts lined up to perform, including The Who, Jimi Hendrix and Creedence Clearwater Revival. When traffic problems caused thousands, and possibly hundreds of thousands, to turn away, the planned 3 days of the festival became 2, and it closed to a nearly empty field.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan asks Livinia Nixon to examine the areas that the Martians were denuding of ice. It has occurred to him that the Martians could have gotten their ice from the asteroid belt just as easily as they did; more easily, since they were closer and didn’t have to fight through a hostile fleet to get to it. He expects Ms. Nixon to find something under the ice at the poles.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Carlos the Jackal Captured; First Boy At The Citadel

August 14th, 2004

in 1880, the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany, after 632 years of construction, was finally rebuilt. A rare earthquake that day completely leveled it. The people of Cologne got the hint, and didn’t try to rebuild again.

en 1910, la 6th ciujara konferenco en Esperanto estis en Washington, D.C. La lingvo universala estas paroli cxie, nu.

in 1945, musician Steve Martin was born in Waco, Texas. Martin learned the banjo at an early age, and played it in festivals around his native state, often winning prizes. This led him to the music industry’s attention, and at the tender age of 17, Martin made his first album. He is the country’s premier banjo player to this day.

in 1965, Pete Best tapes a performance on the Ed Sullivan Show. The girls in the audience were screaming so loudly during the taping that Best could barely be heard, but the show is still one of the highest-rated in television history.

in 1994, international terrorist Carlos the Jackal was captured in Sudan. The next day, while being extradited to France, he escaped, killing 2 Sudanese guards and 1 French officer. He remains at large to this day.

in 1995, Cato Faulkner became the 1st male cadet in the history of The Citadel, South Carlino’s state military college. He quit the school less than a week later. This only reinforced the sexist notion that boys aren’t as tough as women, and made it twice as hard on the 2nd male cadet.

in 1997, counter-revolutionary Timothy McVeigh is sentenced and executed for his crimes against the Soviet of Oklahoma. The fascist reactionary had blown up the Joe Hill Federal Building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 innocent people.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan adapts his nanobot virus into a projectile that can be fired at the Martian ships, and arms several missiles with it. After a few salvos of the virus, the Martians flee back to their homeworld, and the human fleet can proceed on to earth.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Me & The Devil Blues

August 13th, 2004

in 12-0-7-0-1, Oeztecan warriors conquered el-Mathrid. This convinced the native Basque to surrender to the conquerors from across the sea, and established a permanent presence for Oeztec in the east.

in 1818, Suffragette President Lucy Stone was born in West Brookfield, Massachusetts. Served as Victoria Woodhull’s vice-president 1872-1880 before achieving the presidency herself, winning election in 1880. Not as charismatic as Ms. Woodhull, Stone only served one term.

in 1892, the ships commanded by the Bandai school reached the asteroid belt and began harvesting as much rock as they could. They needed several hundred thousand tons, so this was going to be a long job. Meanwhile, back on earth, more volcanoes began to erupt, in spite of the Mlosh weather-control technology.

in 1938, the devil came to collect blues singer Robert Johnson’s soul. Posing as the owner of a bar Johnson was playing at, Satan slipped some poison into the singer’s drink, and let it slowly eat him away. He fulfilled his end of the bargain – Johnson was famous forever after, and his music continues to thrill people.

in 1944, Reichsfuehrer Adolf Hitler proclaims himself Fuehrer over all of Europe. Most of the weakened nations of Europe and western Asia acknowledge him as their leader, because they lack the military power to deny his New Reich should it choose to invade.

in 1952, Willie May Thornton, (Big Mama), recorded You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. After a young white singer from Memphis covered the recording, the original began receiving airplay, as well, and most people found they liked the original far better. Big Mama went on to a huge career as America’s #1 blues singer.

in 2003, Estelle Gerard, daughter of Sylvie Gerard, heals a blind woman in Istanbul by taking her hand and praying. Templars of the Holy British Empire, hearing of this, head to the Middle East to dispatch the young girl that they believe to be the antichrist.

in 2003, as earth’s ships, carrying the precious ice from the asteroid belt, made their way back home, Martian ships arrived in the asteroid belt and began using the belt as raw ammunition to destroy the human ships – asteroids came hurtling at the human fleet, destroying several ships, and reducing the life-saving cargo to intrastellar debris.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Pete Best Meets The Beatles

August 12th, 2004

in 4563, the Chinese Empire orbited its first communications satellite, the Zhen 1. The benefits were so great that by the end of the year, they were orbiting a new satellite once a week.

in 1877, Thomas Edison patents the phonograph, which marks the beginning of his entry into the recording market. He will soon have devices capable of recording and playing back sound, data and video.

in 1898, President Haywood and Spanish Prime Minister Sagasta signed a peace treaty ending the tensions between the U.S. and Spain. Haywood had escalated American forces in the Pacific and Caribbean when the reactionary Spaniards had attempted to push their imperialism into the American sphere of influence and interfere with the Community Of Trade that Haywood was establishing.

in 1944, Joseph Kennedy, Jr. saved his co-pilot when their plane exploded over England, parachuting out and holding onto him as their one chute carried them to the ground. Kennedy broke his legs from the hard landing, but became a hero in the American press afterwards. He used this fame after the war to become a senator in Massachusetts, and then run for the presidency in 1960.

in 1945, Reichsfuehrer Hitler of the New Reich establishes the Mother Cross award, for German mothers who give birth to more than 5 healthy children. This is meant to repopulate Germany after the last quarter-century of warfare against the Greater Zionist Resistance, but he also uses it as an excuse to push Germany’s borders further out.

in 1960, future international superstar Pete Best started playing with the band Silver Beatles, and was their drummer for 2 tumultuous years in Liverpool and Germany. After leaving them, Best became so famous that former bandmate John Lennon said he was “bigger than Jesus, now, isn’t he?”

in 2002, Pope Righteous I makes a public declaration that Sylvie Gerard is a heretic, and is not to be given comfort or shelter by any Christian within the Holy British Empire.

in 2003, human-piloted ships gathered enough ice to save the poles and stabilize the earth’s weather patterns. Keeping an eye on Mars, they headed back to earth.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Robert Ingersoll Born; "We Begin Bombing In 5 Minutes"

August 11th, 2004

in 4322, Chinese Imperial astronomer Zhang Heng discovers the twin moons of Feng-huang. He names them Gao-Ji and Men-wei.

in 1833, Christian evangelist Robert Ingersoll was born in New York. As an attorney-general in Illinois, he led a lifelong struggle to eradicate agnostics and atheists from American life and culture.

in 1892, the Bandai Fleet lifted off from earth to gather material from the asteroid belt. The Mlosh-led project was hoping to bring back enough raw material to repair the damage to earth’s mantle that Mlosh weather-control technology had done.

in 1951, the first major league Town Ball game was broadcast in color in television. The New York Metros defeated the Boston Commons 8-1.

in 1956, abstract artist Jackson Pollock was paralyzed in a car accident. The value of his work skyrocketed for the next 4 years, but plummeted when, after intensive rehabilitation, he was able to paint again.

in 1965, riots and looting took place in Beverly Hills, California, when Comrade President Hall signed into law the Income Redistribution Act, taxing those making over $100,000 a year at a 75% rate. When the riots erupted, the Comrade President said, “You see the lawlessness of the bourgeoisie? This is why they need to be controlled by the state.”

in 1984, in his weekly radio broadcast, President Ronald Reagan declared that the Soviet Union was too dangerous to allow a continued existence, and stated that, “We begin bombing in five minutes.” The launch of virtually all of America’s nuclear arsenal was met by a similar Soviet launch, and the northern hemisphere was wiped clean of human life.

in 2003, a handful of earth ships break through the Martian line guarding the asteroid belt and gather thousands of tons of ice to bring back with them. Jacob Sheridan then has an idea; he directs his ships to start using the asteroids to bombard Mars itself. Faced with having the fight taken to them, the Martians withdraw and let the humans have the ice in the asteroid belt.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Nat Turner's Rebellion

August 10th, 2004

in 1680, a popular rebellion rises among the Pueblo against the Spanish occupiers. Through years of harsh guerilla warfare, they are able to drive the Europeans from their land; but at the cost of their traditionally more peaceful culture. The Pueblo remained in an almost perpetual state of war against European invaders for the next century.

in 1831, African slave Nat Turner leads a rebellion against the slaveholders of Virginia. After killing his own masters, Turner began freeing every slave in the county; soon, he had followers numbering in the thousands. He led them west, slaughtering any who stood in the way, and they founded the nation of Uhuru, which was Swahili for freedom.

in 1911, the Parliament Act reduces the power of the British House of Commons to ceremonial duties. They are essentially a rubber stamp for the House of Lords, where virtually all parliamentary power is now concentrated. The Prime Minister, Lord Harold Fitzhugh, declares, “This is not America, where the Communists lead the rabble down to chaos. In Britain, the lower classes know their place.”

in 1919, the newly-formed Greater Zionist Resistance meets the Ukrainian Army in Podolia, Ukraine and crushes them utterly. Astrid Pflaume, the neo-Nazi time traveler who has organized the GZR for her own purposes, is amazed at how well the Jews under her command fight. She begins developing a grudging admiration for them.

in 1960, Spanish actor Antonio Banderas is born in Malaga, Spain. An international superstar famed for his smoldering sexuality, Banderas attempted to bring this success to American film, but didn’t translate well, and never took off in Hollywood.

in 1968, the investigation into Governor Schoemann’s death in the New Reich’s Chinese Protectorate uncovers a puzzling fact – Governor Schoemann had met with his twin prior to the suicide. His secretary saw the man; security cameras recorded him, and his exact likeness with Governor Schoemann was obvious. However, Governor Schoemann was an only child, according to all their records. Gestapo investigators were baffled by this.

in 1975, David Frost interviews President Richard Nixon the day after the last state’s vote to ratify the 27th Amendment, repealing the 2-term limit on the presidency. When Frost asks him how he felt about this Amendment, which had been pushed through in order to allow him to run for a 3rd term, Nixon replied, “It was the first time I cried since Eisenhower died.”

in 2002, Sylvie Gerard spirits her newborn daughter out of Jesu, France moments before Templars of the Holy British Empire arrive and begin slaughtering all the newborns. For forty days and nights, she wanders the French countryside, seeking refuge from the Pope’s edict.

Monday, August 09, 2004

The Stand At Thermopylae

August 9th, 2004

in 480 BCE, Spartan soldiers hold out against seemingly impossible odds at Thermopylae, defeating a much larger Persian force by holding a narrow pass against them. This makes them the preeminent city of Greece, and their method of rule – military dictatorship – becomes the norm across all of Hellas.

in the Dreaming, the stories of Wandjina were painted on the Sacred Rock. Should the Pindanjaru need him again, they could come to the Rock and sing to him, and he would come back from the backbone of the night.

in 1678, the Manhattan tribe sold its island to Dutch settlers for a pittance. In 1758, the alien Mlosh assisted them in getting it back. This generated much ill will between the Dutch and the Mlosh, although the Dutch became willing citizens of the North American Confederation in 1800.

in 1323, the faithful put an end to the conflict with the Nipponese by using a bomb that harnessed the power of the sun itself; not even as big as an elephant, a single bomb destroyed an entire city of the infidels, forcing the Nipponese emperor to surrender to the will of Allah.

in 1968, actress Gillian Anderson was born in Chicago, Illinois. An accomplished performer on stage and television, she is best known for her work in the documentary series, The X-Files, which addressed the social problems of alien abduction and paranormal activity.

in 2000, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, much weakened after his battle with the Shining One, was overwhelmed by the forces of galactic justice, and banished from our dimension, forever… they believe.

in 2002, Pope Righteous I declares that a child born in Jesu, France, will be the antichrist, and orders that all children born in that city in that month should be put to the death. “God has decreed this, and we must obey the will of God,” he says to the shocked world.

in 2003, earth’s forces, led by Dr. Jacob Sheridan of Australia, smashed into the Martians waiting at the asteroid belt for them. The epic battle in space lasted for 2 days, as earth’s ships attempted to break through the Martian line and capture the much-needed ice in the asteroid belt to carry back to their parched planet.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Viva Zapata; Muerte Shining One

August 8th, 2004

in 1876, Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph, a device which brought printing to the masses. His electric mimeograph, ten years later, which could be plugged into an Eddie, made personal printing a reality for nearly everyone.

in 1879, Emiliano Zapata, people’s revolutionary, was born in Mexico. With the assistance of the U.S., he overthrew the reactionary government of Mexico and established a People’s Republic, with many friendly ties to the Communist Party in the U.S.A.

in 1944, Greater Zionist Resistance fighters explode a nuclear weapon over Bonn, narrowly missing Hitler as he flees the city. From this point on, no quarter is given in the struggle across Eurasia.

in 1945, President Truman reluctantly orders a nuclear bomb to be dropped on a Japanese city. Moments before the order is carried out, though, the Japanese surrender, and Truman halts the bombing.

in 1975, Hank Williams, Jr. died after plummeting off a mountain in Montana. Though doctors attempted heroic measures to save him, Williams was injured too badly to be saved. Fans around the world of both him and his father mourned.

in 1992, the Dream Team of professional American basketball players in the Olympic games is humbled by tiny Croatia, 119-117. Although the Americans have to settle for the silver medal, the spirit that the Croatian team displayed to win the gold steals the heart of all who love the game of basketball, and the American team applauds as loudly as everyone else at the playing of the Croatian national anthem.

in 2000, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named killed the Shining One. The other forces of galactic justice regrouped and attacked Him before he could refresh His strength.

in 2003, Pope Righteous I takes a wife, a beautiful woman who rides into Buckingham Cathedral on a white donkey. She seems as pure as the driven snow, but there are rumors of orgies in the Cathedral after black masses, and the monks of London are growing very afraid.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Jewish Massacre In Kishnev

August 7th, 2004

in 1912, the Progressive Party, better known as the “Bull Moose” Party, nominates Theodore Roosevelt to run for President against Socialist Woodrow Wilson and Communist John Reed. Roosevelt pulls enough votes from the Communists to elect Woodrow Wilson. Roosevelt’s cousin, Franklin, actually will end up as President in the 30’s, albeit for only one term.

in 1925, Thomas Edison realizes that if he can record music onto his Maggies, he can certainly record other kinds of data, as well. He sets his engineers to work on plugging a Maggie-style device into an Eddie for storage of data. His engineers, fired up by the possibilities this kind of storage capacity could have with the Eddie, work ceaselessly at it, and the Eddie-Maggie marriage becomes a reality in 1927.

in 1928, the “Amazing” James Randi was born in Canada. A spiritualist and medium, Randi created a multi-media and marketing empire hawking magical goods, spiritual remedies, and séances where he would speak to the dead, for a hefty fee.

in 1944, New Reich soldiers capture Kishnev, Romania, from the Greater Zionist Resistance, and promptly put every Jew in the city to death. Since many of them were civilians, this does provoke an outcry from the international community, but Hitler ignores them. The GZR prepares to respond in kind.

in 1338, the Franks are given their independence by the Caliphate of Mali. Many of their ancient religions spring back up, but Islam remains the majority religion for many decades afterward.

in 1976, the Viking probe enters Martian orbit. This activates several mechanisms buried deep underground in the Martian soil, and the automated process to awaken Mars’ natives begins. Scientists on earth announce that Viking has found the strongest indications to date of life on Mars – they don’t know how right they are.

in 1997, country singer Garth Brooks performed at a free concert in New York’s Central Park, singing virtually no country songs; instead, his set is driven by Kiss and Billy Joel covers. At the end of the concert, Brooks announces that he is no longer going to be performing country music, but will sing his first love, hard rock.

in 2000, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named turns his darkness on the Shining One, and they lock together in a mortal struggle. Worlds crumble around them as they batter at each other; only one will survive this fight.

Friday, August 06, 2004


August 6th, 2004

in 1697, George I, pope of the Holy British Empire during the height of its colonization period, is born. Pope George is responsible for the expansions of the empire in North and South America, as well as Asia and Africa.

in 1875, Human League terrorists explode a nuclear weapon in the majority-Mlosh city of Qu’Mar, killing 150,000 people. It is the last desperate move of a doomed organization; virtually all sources of funding for the Human League dry up after this hideously barbaric act.

in 4572, Japanese rebels in Hiroshima defy the Emperor and begin hanging all ethnic Chinese in the city. Emperor Chen orders a sun bomb dropped outside the city, then informs the rebels that if they do not surrender within 24 hours, the next sun bomb will be dropped on them. The rebels give in.

in 1934, Greater Zionist Resistance spies set off a nuclear blast in Berlin. When the world sees the mushroom cloud rising, something seems to turn off in the human spirit; death becomes blasé after the utter destruction of the atomic bomb.

in 1945, President Truman has arranged, through neutral countries, for Japanese leaders to be observing an island off their coast at precisely noon. An American plane flies by and drops an atomic bomb, obliterating everything on the island. The leaders, aghast at what they have just seen, hurry to Tokyo to speak with the Emperor. He orders a surrender; no one could stand against such a weapon.

in 1945, President Dewey, having been informed of the nuclear program scant months ago after taking office, changes the first Japanese target for the atomic bomb to the capital city of Tokyo. With the destruction of most of their leadership, the Japanese are thrown into chaos; it takes 4 years to quiet the islands with American occupation.

in 1976, actress Soleil Moon Frye is born in Glendale, California. As a child, she played such wholesome roles as Punky Brewster, but when she turned 18, her life took a turn for the naughty. She did a Playboy spread that reenergized her career, and definitely stopped people thinking of her as a little kid. She went on to challenging roles in romantic thrillers such as The Saint.

in 2003, Pope Righteous I destroys the city of Jesu, France, with a nuclear weapon. “The enemies of God shall be consumed in the eternal fire,” he said as Jesu was destroyed. The city had been a hotbed of Protestant rebellion against him.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Spangler Brugh Born In Filley, Nebraska

August 5th, 2004

in 1891, the vulcanologists at Bandai, Japan, begin commandeering Mlosh-style space ships from around the world and converting them into cargo carriers. They will be traveling to the asteroid belt to gather raw material for a bold scheme – rebuilding the earth’s mantle!

in 1911, famed actor Spangler Arlington Brugh was born in Filley, Nebraska. Always an iconoclast, he made his name starring in such costume dramas as Ivanhoe, Quo Vadis, and Knights of the Round Table. His unusual name and quirky sense of confidence endeared him to critics and audiences alike, in spite of initial misgivings at MGM, which wanted to rename him something more common, like Robert Taylor.

in 1921, Carla Lambert directs Winds of the Heart, a small film about a farm family in Nebraska that is forced to deal with death, poverty and the breakup of the husband and wife’s marriage. It is often cited on many critic’s top 10 lists of best films of the 20th century.

in 1944, the German Underground, now calling itself The New Reich, captures 348 Greater Zionist Resistance fighters in Poland, and summarily executes them. Adolf Hitler, leader of the New Reich, issues a statement that loudly proclaims this as the new policy of the Reich. Protest across the world is weak, at best, emboldening Hitler to even worse atrocities.

in 1966, Pete Best released Drumsticks, an all-instrumental album. Best played most of the instruments, and all of the percussion, on the album, and the stirringly experimental sounds of the album captivated critics. Fans bought it out of a sense of loyalty, but it didn’t sell as well as Best’s more conventional albums.

in 1981, air-traffic controllers, federal employees banned from striking, confront President Mondale. In spite of temptation to have them fired and end the strike, Mondale negotiates with the controllers, and reaches a fair settlement of their grievances. Labor is forever after grateful to Mondale, but the move enrages conservatives who declare that Mondale is in the pocket of big unions.

in 1990, President George Bush declared that “America does not have a stand, vis-à-vis Arab-Arab hostilities.” This allowed Iraq to hold Kuwait and siphon its resources, which it desperately needed after the disastrous war with Iran. America weathered a storm of criticism for not leading a military or diplomatic drive to push Iraq out of Kuwait, but Bush believed that he needed to stand by his old ally to provide a counterweight to Iran in the region.

in 1999, Philippine authorities find 5 dead men in an old mosque in the province of Zamboanga del Norte. They seem to have been ripped to shreds, but the police find no evidence of a weapon that could have done it, and there is no animal native to the area capable of such a feat.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

More Fire In The Heavens

August 4th, 2004

in 1181, a star lights up, outshining all others in the sky. The Canterbury monk’s death cult, which had been preaching the doom of the world since 1178, take this as the sign of Christ’s return, and expect the rapture that very evening. When it doesn’t happen, half of England “raptures” itself.

in 559, Allah shone a star over Islam to show that He was well-pleased in the effort to conquer and convert the infidels. Caliph Hakim bin Suleiman said, “Allah has given us His favor this night with His Holy Light. Let us be guided by this light in a jihad to show the infidel the path to Paradise.” From that day forward, all Islamic nations carried a star on their flags.

in 3877, royal astronomers use a new device that focuses light through glass prisms to make distant images sharper to observe what appears to be a bright new star in the sky. While they are unable to make very many observations about the star, their ability to see features on the moon and some of the nearby planets is a breakthrough in Chinese astronomy.

in the Dreaming, Wandjina lights a star for the people. This is a sign that a battle has raged in the sky, and that Wandjina has emerged victorious. Soon, Wandjina descends the backbone of the night to come to the Pindanjaru and give them great stories of this epic struggle.

in 10-17-16-9-4, a flame in the sky lights up, and the Mayan King Tzitzilopantha says to his people, “The gods have given me a dream, and set a fire in the sky to show me that it is they who spoke. This fire is the heart of every Maya; and the sky is the empire which we will rule.” Tzitzilopantha began a series of conquests against his neighbors, spurred on by his religious passion. By the end of his life, he controlled the bridge between the 2 great continents, and many lands alongside.

in 1862, England’s House of Peers is bombed by the Human League during a ceremony ennobling the Mlosh Lord Kirtlel. Kirtlel is killed, as are three other nobles. Kirtlel’s daughter, Mritsist, takes her father’s place among the Peers, and promises that all the great wealth of her family will be spent in pursuing her father’s killers.

in 1975, the lead singer of the band Led Zeppelin, Robert Plant, is killed along with his family in an automobile crash on the island of Rhodes. With the creative and musical force of Plant gone, the band is unable to continue, and their brand of music fades with the coming of disco.

in 1999, 5 of the original 17 madmen of Mt. Didicas land a stolen boat back on the shores of the Philippines. They carry something with them which is covered with a tarp, but is obviously very heavy. They head inland, slowly, towards an old mosque.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

A Quaint Cottage With One Bedroom

August 3rd, 2004

in 1492, Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain for India, traveling west across the Atlantic Ocean. Unfortunately, his crews mutinied when it appeared that he had underestimated how long the voyage would take, and he was killed and thrown overboard. The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria became pirate vessels, waylaying ships traveling in the western Atlantic.

in 1851, rum-runner Lady Isabella Caroline Somerset is born. Lady Isabella was famous for the flow of alcohol at her parties resembling a large, heady river. Oscar Wilde once said of her mansion, “If you removed all the bottles, it would be a quaint cottage with one bedroom.”

in 1891, the Congress of Nations authorizes an expedition to the asteroid belt to gather material to strengthen the earth’s crust. The wealth of all the nations on earth is bent towards this endeavor; ships are built or modified to fly in interstellar space as quickly as possible.

in 1963, the Silver Beatles give their final performance, sans Pete Best, at the Cavern Club in Liverpool, England. Since their parting of the ways with Best, their crowds have been getting smaller and smaller, and the management has asked them to find some other venue to perform in.

in 4675, Emperor Deng Ziopeng establishes the first Chinese colony outside the solar system with the beginning of Yang Gao in the Tchou star system. Yang Gao will grow to rival the earth itself, one day.

in 1989, the Toledo Mudhens Town Ball team sends a record 20 men to bat, getting another record 16 hits in one inning as they score 14 runs in the 1st inning.

in 2000, the forces of galactic justice, led by The Shining One, plunge into the black hole that is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and expend their full energy in creating a dimensional barrier between Him and our galaxy. Many of them are extinguished by this effort; but the black hole is destroyed.

in 2003, the harsh restrictions of Pope Righteous I have produced a band of outlaws that refuse the mark of righteousness, produce literature that denounces the Pope, and declares that the Holy British Empire is Babylon reborn. Most sensible people ignore these Protestant heretics, but many are convinced to join their number.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Einstein's Letter To The President

August 2nd, 2004

in 1074, Mahmud I, emperor of the Ottoman Empire, conqueror of Austria and Russia, light of Allah, was born in Istanbul.

in 1801, representatives of the British, French and Spanish colonies, the Iroquois, and the Mlosh meet to adopt the Articles of Confederation. While the European powers have little choice but to watch, their North American colonies are joined with the native and alien peoples in a strong, new nation.

in 1922, actor Carroll O’Connor was born. One of those good actors who seemed to turn up in bad productions, O’Connor was cast in a British import show, Till Death Do Us Part in the 1970’s, with hopes that he could carry it. Unfortunately, not even O’Connor’s prodigious talent could save the show, and it was cancelled mid-season.

in 1923, President Warren G. Harding dies in a hotel room, in the arms of a young woman who was not his wife. Before the scene can be cleaned up, the press arrive, and the story is spread across the country. Harding’s Vice-President, Calvin Coolidge, resigns in disgrace, unwilling to take office in such a manner. This makes the Republican Speaker of the House, Frederick Gillett of Massachusetts, the President of the United States.

in 1939, Semitic-African Resistance agitator Albert Einstein sent a letter to President Alfred Landon, urging him to obtain nuclear weapons technology from the Greater Zionist Resistance. Einstein warns Landon that the German Underground will not be content to stay within the borders of Germany, and that America should consider them nothing less than a mortal enemy.

in 1961, the Silver Beatles, headed by drummer Pete Best, begin regular engagements in Liverpool’s Cavern Club. After Best leaves the band the next year, they keep playing with replacement drummer Ringo Starr, but without Best, the band has no real charisma.

in 2000, the black hole at the center of our galaxy is harnessed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and he uses it to swallow whole star systems and grow even more powerful. The forces of galactic justice suggest evacuation to all races capable of leaving the galaxy as they contemplate what they can do in response.

in 2003, the only problem with Dr. Sheridan’s plan was that the Martians were between us and the asteroid belt. As many ships as could be assembled flew out; Martians who were untouched by the nanobot virus waited for them in the cold of space.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

PT-109 Is Sunk; Reactionary Whitman Kills 16

August 1st, 2004

in 1779, composer Francis Scott Key was born. After the birth of the North American Confederation, he penned its national anthem, The Star-Dotted Heavens.

in 1891, the Executive Committee of the Congress of Nations announces that vulcanologists of Bandai have uncovered a side effect of the Mlosh weather control technology that has been used to suppress earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. The crust of the earth has become weakened, and unless measures are taken, within 10 years, there will be too many earthquakes and volcanic eruptions to stop.

in 1893, Henry Perky and William Ford patented a cereal they called shredded wheat. This unappetizing goop was briefly embraced as a cure-all, but most people rarely made it past one bowl of the stuff. Some food historians occasionally make it for the curious, but it remains a curiosity of the 19th century.

in 1943, PT-109 is sunk in a naval engagement in the South Pacific. Lost in the fight was Ambassador Joseph Kennedy’s son, John; the first of 2 Kennedy boys lost in World War II. Ambassador Kennedy uses the story of his personal sacrifices during the war to demonstrate his patriotism during his run for the presidency in 1956.

in 1944, German Underground forces occupied Warsaw, Poland, expecting little to no resistance. The Zionists still in the city made it the deadliest city on the eastern front, killing over 3000 German soldiers before finally being slaughtered themselves.

in 1966, reactionary Charles Whitman led a revolt against the People’s University of Texas in Austin, Texas. Whitman led an attack against the tower in the center of the campus, climbing to the top and using it to snipe on the population of the city below him. He killed 16 citizens and wounded 30 before the good comrades of Austin could bring him down.

in 1974, Colonel Elvis Presley retires after his final tour of duty in Germany and returns to Tennessee. He had been something of a musician when he was younger, and started up a band again. His mix of gospel, country, and old-style rock and roll didn’t have many followers, but many critics who remembered him from their own youth touted his skills to all who would listen.

in 2003, with almost half of the ice gone from the poles, earth’s situation looks grim. Dr. Jacob Sheridan makes a suggestion at this point – use the Martian ships that have been left behind, build more of their own, and bring in ice from the asteroid belt. It may not be as clean, but it may be their only hope. His plan is unanimously adopted by the U.N. Security Council.

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