Saturday, May 12, 2007

Bern Falls

The state of TIAH

March 12th, 2007

Digg this

Alternate Historian's Note: In 15 days, we'll hit TIAH's third anniversary. As before, that calls for a contest! Please send in your alternate versions of the Academy's beginnings (May 27th, 2004 was the date in this timeline). You can even use the fact that we lost the original day and had to restart on the 28th – whatever you can think of to provide a twist to our start. Send 'em in, and we'll print 'em! Be sure to tell us how you want your credit for the post to appear, as well as any links you want to be connected with your entry. Thanks for reading and get researching those alternate timelines!

in 1891, President Benjamin Harrison authorizes the draft boards to begin setting up across the country, and young men over the age of 18 and under the age of 25 begin registering to fight in the “war to keep the US whole,” as each draft board says to their potential draftees. When news of the draft reaches Kansas, 'Sockless' Jerry Simpson derides it, saying, “They have to force men to fight in their cause. We have plenty of men volunteering to fight them off.” In spite of Simpson's bravado, the Farmer's Council running the rebel state seriously considers doing the same; they are only stopped by the realization that everyone who could be drafted is probably already in the front lines, serving with them. They realize that they are about to be overwhelmed by far superior numbers, and a deep panic sets in among them.

in 1999, Bern falls to Sir Lance du Lac's British soldiers. Emperor Pierre's prime minister, Otto Von Haufmann, officially surrenders the empire to du Lac, but pockets of imperial loyalists continue to fight throughout Europe. Sir Lance puts one of his knights, Sir David Tristan, in charge of the subjugation of Switzerland, and heads off to the Hungarian front, where Emperor Pierre was last seen. He is halted by the news that Queen Gwen has been arrested on charges of treason – he cannot believe what he has heard, and he rushes back to England to see what madness has enveloped the kingdom in his absence.

in 1937, politician and self-proclaimed "moral guardian" George D. Carlin was born in New York City. An Air Force veteran and graduate of Harvard Law School, Carlin was elected to Congress in 1966 on the Republican ticket, representing his adopted home of Shreveport, Louisiana. He quickly distinguished himself on several economic committees with special emphasis on the mass media, and after indicating to President Nixon in a lunch conference he did not intend to run for reelection, was appointed commissioner of the Federal Communications Commission. Carlin immediately began a vigorous rooting out of all broadcast programs deemed 'subversive' by Nixon's new "Clean Minds, Clean America" policy formulated in response to a perceived vast "drug culture influence" settling on the entertainment industry by the early 1970s. It was remarked that a program such as "Laugh-In", which Nixon had appeared on only a few years before to court the youth vote, could no longer exist on America's airwaves during Carlin's reign. Carlin evoked widespread outrage in 1972 when giving a speech to Columbia University's Media Studies Center, when he outlined the concept of the "Seven Words You Cannot Say On Television", before explicitly stating each word and giving an in-depth explanation of the reasons and benefits of government-mandated censorship. Carlin was unaware a television camera was taping the proceedings, and despite the speech being unable to be broadcast on any US station, the news spread quickly enough to bring condemnation of his perceived hypocrisy. Carlin resigned in 1973, not long before his patron, and the resulting years brought a backlash of free speech on the nation's airwaves, largely allowed by Gerald Ford's very relaxed administration appointees. By 1979, shows such as "Saturday Night Live" regularly featured multiple utterings of each of the seven verboten words, with no apparent damage to American civilization. -post by Guest Historian Jake Dominguez-

In 2367, world governments learn that the wess'har have turned to warlike ancestors from their home world who will not restrict their justice to the individuals responsible. The Eqbas Vorhi will journey to Earth which will answer for the genocide.


~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.


In 1990, the Reverend Stanley Kirk Burrell carefully parked his auto mobile at the Bethany Baptist Church. This most conservative of ministers approached the lectern with great dignity and poise. Today, like many others, he would speak about the need for traditional values in the community. The service began with his set-piece rhetorical question to the congregation - What's the word?. A voice from the back of the audience shouted out Hammer Time!; another yelled Pump it!, Suddenly, the church was thrown into a cacophony with strange expressions such as Can you pump it for the Hammer?. Incredulous, Burrell looked downwards, only for his amazement to deepen further. Inexplicably, he was wearing purple parachute pants. And his feet were zig-zagging.


~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!


West Country
West Country
In 1947, Senator McCarthy read an extract from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem Kubla Khan : 'That sunny dome! those caves of ice! And all who heard should see them there, And all should cry, Beware! Beware! His flashing eyes, his floating hair! Weave a circle round him thrice, And close your eyes with holy dread, For he on ..
.. honey-dew hath fed, And drunk the milk of Paradise.' Then McCarthy unveiled a large portrait of US Troops marching through an English West Country town. They are en route to en route to board landing ships for the invasion of France. Coleridge's home town, explained the Tail gunner to the Tydings Committee. The room explodes with noise as the speculation starts : what rationale explanation can be made for this event? The disappearance of an invasion force, and the mysterious transmission : 'Caves of Ice'?

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!


In 1989, protests have also begun outside Buckingham Palace. The British Royal household has been in constant consultation with the crowned heads of Europe. They are searching for the courage to act decisively whilst they still can still count on the Security Forces.Palace Crowds
Palace Crowds

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!


Condi Ryce
Condi Ryce
In 2004, George W Bushe and Condi Ryce were arrested by the Royal North American Mounted Police. The pair were considered the most notorious outlaws at large in the British Empire during the twenty-first century's first decade known as the 00's or simply the noughties. A decoy method had been used to rob banks in the Mid-West. ..
.. A connection was made the month before when Condi slipped up the and called George 'My husband'. By the time they get out of gaol, Bushe might reasonably expect to have been forgiven by his wife Laura Bushe. It was a simple Freudian Slip, but for what, my boyfriend seethed Mrs Bushe?

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!


In 1926, in Great Britain a nine-day general strike by trade unions ended with triumph for the labour movement. Home Secretary Winston Churchill had authorised the use of firms to to deal with public order situations. Once again his hot-headedness, which he had demonstrated in his command of Gallipoli in 1915 was matched .. Fat Cat cartoon of a Subsidised Miner
Fat Cat cartoon..
.. only by his callous disregard from the lives of the British working class. This was not the 'land fit for heroes' that had been promised. The Conservative government of Stanley Baldwin collapsed and the Labour Party have been the natural party of government even since.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!



Cool stuff - Let us know where you are on Frappr! and We've been Dugg


We have links again! Yay, us. Check them out on the side of the page, and if you have some suggestions, send them to us!

Visit the Co-Historian's store -

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Congrats Robbie for TIAH's third anniversary,We expect to continue your blog to keep us updating about history...
European Breakdown Cover

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.