Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day!

Today In Alternate History

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The Announcement

Alternate Historian's Note: Happy Father's Day to all our readers out there who are male and have produced progeny! That includes your humble historian as well as his talented contributor, Steve, and I'm sure that we both will be showered with praise by our loving families today, right? That's what we all get on Father's Day, after all. What do you mean you need me to do some work around the Academy...?

in 1891, with the surrender of Topeka and the murder of 'Sockless' Jerry Simpson, General Theodore Monteith declares an amnesty for all the Kansas rebels who will turn themselves in during the coming week. Since the previous governor is dead, Monteith appoints Thaddeus Elridge, an erstwhile Farmers Councilor who had switched sides at the end of the conflict, political liaison between his forces and the Kansans. Elridge makes a quick round of the state, tamping down the fires of rebellion that he had so recently stoked, and reducing the fighting to a few scattered pockets here and there. As this day winds to a close, General Monteith hosts Lt. Colonel Mark Wainwright at the governor's mansion. “Much better than last time you were here, eh, Mark?” Wainwright had to agree. “No one's pointing a gun at me this time, sir.” The leaders of the Union expeditionary forces went to sleep that night, secure in the knowledge that they had at last quelled the Kansas Rebellion.

in 1999, the staff at the hospital where King Arthur II is being cared for notify Queen Gwen that the king is showing signs of coming out of his coma. “Oh, thank you, thank you ever so much,” she tells them tearfully on the phone. Once she hangs up, though, her expression hardens. She calls Sir Lance du Lac and orders him to return to London. “There is a task that must be done, my loyal knight, and you are the only one who can do it.”

In 2008, the Champion returned to Earth with Innocent Valentine Michael Smith onboard. During the journey, two thoughts filled Captain Von Tromp's mind. Smith was fabulously wealthy. As the sole survivor of the founding colony, he owned the real estate of planet Mars; also the patent revenues from the pioneering work of his mother Mary Jane Lyle Smith were huge – she had invented the very drive that enabled the crew to race back in just eighteen days. If the Old Ones of Mars destroyed the Earth it scarcely matter. What mattered was whether a Martian called Smith could invite the combatants of the Second Gulf War to share a water ritual. To become water brothers, to grok each other.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1980, scientists at the Atlanta Plague Center made a breakthrough with the perfectly healty patient Stuart Redmond, nicknamed "East Texas". Stu was naturally immune to the superflu known as "Captain Trips". Now the scientific community knew why Stu was still eating Breakfast Tacos and his buddies from Arnette were all dead.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1971, the Osmonds appeared on The Andy Williams Show. Before singing “Two Bad Apples”, Donny Osmond was asked the million dollar question by Williams, about the inclusion in the band of the two older Osmond brothers – who were both born deaf. Donny said sincerely that it was true that neither Virl or Tom could contribute much musically, yet the other six brothers loved them too much to exclude them from their success. In fact, the choice of the song title “Two Bad Apples” poked fun at record producers who had encouraged the brothers to stick with a reduced line-up of six, comprising Alan, Melvin, Merril, Jay, Donny and Jimmy. Williams smiled broadly when Donny told him that He who troubles his own house inherits the wind; he understood, he really did.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

European Grapevine
European Grapev..
In 1760, non-caucasoids understood that the healthful properties of grapes came from the seeds themselves. Using the sap of grapevines, folk healers cured skin and eye diseases. Another historical use includes the leaves being used to stop bleeding, pain and inflammation. For treating sore throats unripe grapes were used, ..
.. raisins were given as treatments for consumption (tuberculosis), constipation and thirst. For the treatment of cancer, cholera, smallpox, nausea, skin and eye infections as well as kidney and liver diseases, ripe grapes were used. Twenty-fourth century research into resveratrol, a chemical found in grape skins, identified a tool against cardiovascular disease, cancer and aging, had begun to back up some of the assertions of the non-caucasoids folk healers of the pre-pandemic epoch. The research said, "Resveratrol has been shown to modulate the metabolism of lipids, and to inhibit the oxidation of low-density lipoproteins and the aggregation of platelets." Today in the twenty-fifth century, grape seed oil, from the crushed seeds are used for its perceived wide range of health benefits.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1940, a very nervous Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King received the alarming news that former British Prime Minister has arrived in Canada for medical attention. Chamberlain carried a communique of greetings from Jan Smuts in which the General indicated that the Fuehrer himself had approved the transatlantic .. McKenzie King
McKenzie King
.. flight. This of course contradicted a telegram from the Fuehrer himself, that communique stated that Chamberlains' entry into Canada would be considered an act of war by Nazi Germany and would invite immediate action from the Kriegsmarine currently moored off the east coast.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Watergate Complex
Watergate Compl..
In 1972, five well dressed men were arrested at 2:30 a.m. in the process of planting surveillance bugs at the Democratic National Committee offices in the Watergate Hotel. US President Robert F Kennedy's conspiracy to prevent the election of arch-rival Richard M Nixon was about to be exposed. Tricky Dicky cannot let the ..
.. Kennedys cheat him out of the White House twice.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1940, Nazi Deputy Rudolf Hess was privately distressed by the war with Britain, as indeed was confidante Joseph Goebbels. Hess hoped to score a stunning diplomatic victory by sealing a peace between the Reich and Britain. Hess therefore organised a flight to Britain to meet the Duke of Hamilton and Brandon and Aleister .. Rudolph Hess
Rudolph Hess
.. Crowley, aka “The Beast”, “The Man We Would Most Like to Hang” and "The Wickedest Man In the World” inter alia at the latter's residence by Loch Ness. He would parachute from his Messerschmitt Bf 110 and engage in immediate peace talks with this pro-German circle.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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