One Horse Town

July 27th, 2007

Digg this

The Announcement

Alt-Hist Intro: This is a time-traveler idea I've had – let me know what you think in the comments!

I went back in time the other day. It was quite an interesting experience. I almost prevented the birth of Hitler, and was an inch away from saving Martin Luther King. And, by the way, it was Oswald, and he was the only gunman. I can say that without fear of contradiction.
I'm not supposed to interfere, but you can't help yourself, really. After all, what's the point of going back if you're not going to try to change things? Time travel is the ultimate wish fulfillment. If you go back far enough, and you know enough, you can be a god.
Marcus had wanted to do that; be a god. He told me that he could bring a few gadgets with him, set up shop in Mesopotamia or someplace like that, and he would never have to worry about anything ever again. I reminded him that modern conveniences like hologames, running water and vaccinations might be missed by someone playing the god for the primitive locals, but he says that he could tough it out. I doubt it.
But, he's been gone for a while now, and I don't think he's coming back. The world hasn't come crashing down around us, so whatever changes he's made, I assume that they've already been taken into account in the time stream. I hope.
That's what we all hope, really. Everybody involved in the project has got to hope that we can't really change the past, at least not in a way that will destroy the present. If we can, then somebody's going to screw us all up any day now.
Maybe they already have.
There are a lot of paradoxes in this line of work, and you really just have to get used to them. I mean, if you try to grasp each set of contradictions that you bring up just by appearing in the past, you'd spend all your time sitting around confused instead of doing something. And that's not very productive.
My main area of focus is on historical accuracy in textbooks. I was the one who got to correct all the assassination buffs who’ve been living on JFK rumors for decades. That was my masterpiece; seventeen cameras along a one mile patch of road in old Dallas. Conclusive proof that the only shots came from the book depository, there was nobody on the grassy knoll, and I got a really good close-up of Lee Harvey himself squeezing the trigger. How they howled. I've now been labeled part of the conspiracy.

In 2006, a series of high-level resignations continued in the Justice Department and at the FBI following the revelations of James Anthony Traficant, Jr. at a press conference in Washington.	James Traficant
A former Democratic Representative in the United States Congress from Ohio, Traficant, Jr. had been recently released from prison after compelling evidence emerged that he was the victim of a government set-up. This included false allegations of taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington, D.C. All of which were dismissed at the re-trial.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1941, at Sidi Omar on the Egyptian border the terrible past finally caught up with Loose Cannon Colonel Thomas Edward Lawrence. Obersturmbannführer Otto Skorzeny had been sent on a desperate mission by General Rommel, in a last ditch attempt to rescue the Afrika Korps from certain defeat in the North Africa Campaign. Skorzeny presented a series of letters from 1931 through 1934 that Lawrence had written to John Bruce, posing as his own Uncle. The Obersturmbannführer was ordered to either "turn" the Commander of the British Eighth Army, or hand over the letters to Lawrence's Arab allies. The bitter irony of being turned was not lost on Lawrence. "How could you do it?" asked Skorzeny twisting the knife.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of Susan Shwarz original content has been made to celebrate the author's commanding genius.

"Saw a Cadillac for the first time yesterday, I'd always seen horses, buggies, bales of hay `Cause progress here don't move with modern times There's nothing to steal so there's not a great deal of crime It sure is hell living in a one horse town There's half a mile of Alabama mud bed ground
Elton John	Nothing much doing of an afternoon Unless you're sitting in a rocking chair just picking a tune And they ain't too well acquainted with the stars and stripes But if you want to hear Susanna then they'll pick all night They'll pick all night" ~ Lyrics to “One Horse Town” - Click to Play Sample
Exiled Genius

Following revelations about his personal life and flight from Great Britain, Elton John described his isolation in a remote part of Alabama at Lyric Dude

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 1970, on this day António de Oliveira Salazar died. He had governed as the de facto dictator of the Portuguese Republic since 1932. During the previous two years he had ruled in name only since suffering a major stroke, forcing President Américo Tomás to effectively replace him with Marcelo Caetano. As a symbol of Portugese unity, the Mocidade Portuguesa (militia) of African, Asian and European ethnicity paid homage at his funeral. Dramatic changes that had been held in check for many years were now unleashed; Portugal was no longer “Proudly Alone”.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1940, a turn on the Wheel of If had transformed New York DA Allister Park into Celtic Judge Ib Scotlung. Brilliantly discharging the duties of a Pugnacious Peacekeeper through an intricacy of Islam, Park found a peaceful resolution to the border dispute between Tawantiinsuuju and Dar Al-Harb. The young widow and prospective wife, Kuurikwiljor had written down the belief system of Patjakamak for Park's study. This practice was not forbidden yet not encouraged by the Tawantiinsuuju, true believers who memorized Patjakamak. A Zorastrian precedent was applied to recognise non-believers as People of the Book. This redefinition as non-pagans enabled the Emir of Dar Al-Harb to establish peace across the physical barrier of the great river Ooorinookoo.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1948, Obersturmbannführer Otto Skorzeny escaped from an Allied Prisoner of War Camp. With the defeat of Nazi Germany inevitable, Skorzeny had trained, until March 1945, recruits for the stay-behind Nazi organisation, the Werwolves, which engaged in guerrilla warfare against the Allies. However, Skorzeny quickly realized that the Werwolves were too few in number to become an effective fighting force. Instead of this, they were used for the Nazi "ratlines", a secret "Underground railroad" which helped Nazi war criminals escape trial after Germany's surrender. Beside this organisation of the "ratlines," which would form the basis of the supposed ODESSA network after the war, Skorzeny had been employed since August 1944 by high-ranking Nazis and German industrialists to hide money and to loot property, documents, etc., some of which were buried in the mountains of Bavaria, and others shipped overseas. Skorzeny finally decided to surrender to the Allies in May 1945, feeling that he could potentially be of use to the Americans in the forthcoming Cold War. On May 16, 1945, he emerged from the Austrian woods near Salzburg and surrendered to a lieutenant of the US Thirtieth Infantry Regiment. He was held as a prisoner of war for more than two years before being tried as a war criminal at the Dachau Trials for his false flag actions in the Battle of the Bulge. However, he was acquitted when Wing Commander Yeo-Thomas G.C. of the SOE testified in his defence that Allied forces had also fought in enemy uniform. But he was held until he escaped from a prison camp on July 27, 1948. There was one item of property that Skorzeny took with him in his flight to South America. Some documents actually. Letters written by Colonel Thomas Edward Lawrence, posing as his Uncle, to John Bruce between 1931 and 1934. And also the five missing pages from Lawrence's War Diary, ripped in shame by the author describing his capture in Deraa during November 1917. Documents that would create a spectacular reaction when they surfaced in 1960 during the premiere of the movie Lawrence of Arabia on 16th December 1962.

~ entry from Steve Payne: extensive use of Susan Shwarz original content has been made to celebrate the author's commanding genius.

Windsor Ontario	In 1940, the fleeing British Royal Family reached their safest haven. That being the capital of New Britain established by Arthur Wellesley in 1814, Windsor, Ontario. Nowhere other than this Anglophone pocket in North America would have accepted these desperate refugees. Head of the British Government in Exile, Winston Churchill ..
.. summoned up the situation on their arrival: “Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was our darkest hour.'”
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1941, Japanese troops occupied French Indo-China. Meanwhile, Mountbatten, Wingate et al. were poised to quit the Far East altogether, taking with them the Indian Divisions of the British Army. These troops were desperately needed in Jerusalem by Bernard Montgomery of British Central Command. Caught in the Middle East between ..	Conquest of Ind..
.. the German and Japanese pincer movement, the British Army prepared for Churchill's Land Stand.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Syngman Rhee	In 1953, following a six-month “surge” US President Douglas MacArthur proclaimed victory in the Korean War. In Seoul, anti-communist Syngman Rhee was declared president of the newly unified Republic of Korea. Rhee's legacy has been in considerable dispute.
In general, conservative circles regard Rhee as the patriarch of the nation, while liberals tend to be critical of him. Shortly before the 1988 Olympic Games it was discovered that Rhee had embezzled over $20m from the government and tributes to the former head of state were cancelled.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1974, the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee voted 27 to 11 to recommend the first article of impeachment against President Robert F Kennedy: obstruction of justice. Americans were waking up to the fact that RFK's Special Investigations Unit (“the Plumbers”) had burgled their own Democratic National Committee ..	Richard Nixon
.. Headquarters in an attempt to besmirch Richard M Nixon's reputation. Still, it was just too late for Honest Dick. At sixty years old, he had made two bids for Presidency, and one for the Governorship of California. Even if he had been tricked by the Kennedys, he still had a record of losing.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Cool stuff - Let us know where you are on Frappr! and We've been Dugg

We have links again! Yay, us. Check them out on the side of the page, and if you have some suggestions, send them to us!

Visit the Co-Historian's store -