London Bridge Was Falling Down...

ALTERNATE HISTORIAN'S NOTE: we have our second anniversary coming up on May 27th, and we would like to have another contest. For our second anniversary, send us up to three of your own alternate histories, and we will publish the best - no limit on how many will end up on the final page! We would like to see as many of you enter this as possible, so please - think 'em up, write 'em down, and send 'em on to us at rat4cat@gmail.com! Help us celebrate our 2nd year of existence in style! Oh, and if you're like Sean and we owe you an appearance in TIAH - email us!

April 18th, 2006

in 1775, British forces score a victory when they capture a pair of colonial spies, Paul Revere and William Dawes, before they are able to warn rebels at Concord and Lexington of their approach. This crippled colonial operations in Massachusetts, and contributed to John Jay's movement to negotiate with the crown for autonomy rather than independence.

in 1857, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Darrow was born in Farmdale, Ohio. Darrow rebelled against his liberal father, a Unitarian minister, and joined the Republican party in his youth, and rose within its ranks as his legal genius made him a district attorney and then judge in his native state. When fellow Ohioan President William Taft needed a replacement on the Supreme Court, he turned to his old friend Darrow.

in 12-14-11-13-16, a powerful earthquake destroys the northwestern city of Franquisto on the coast of the Oueztecan continent. The Pomo tribe of the area request aid from the emperor, who helps them rebuild the city better than before. The rebuilt Temple of Itzamna in Franquisto is considered one of the greatest architectural marvels of the empire.

in 1915, Dr. Ch'Kel'Mlar of the Q'Bar speaks to a small advisory panel of the Congress of Nations, giving them information about the race known as the Kainku. The panel then asked for several of the refugees aboard the Harlequin to be brought before them, as well. The questioning lasted for several days as the CN assessed the threat potential of the mysterious Kainku.

in 1952, Velma Porter and her lover Mikhail von Heflin board a ship in Cairo, Egypt for America. The Baron vows to Miss Porter, “From now on, we stay with your hemisphere.” Porter readily agreed, although she would later make one more trip to Africa, without her Baron.

in 1968, the U.S. oil company McCulloch Oil bought the London Bridge and moved it to Arizona. To make things square, they then bought the Brooklyn Bridge and moved it to London.

in 1974, the Red Brigade, American-supported comrades working to free Italy of its backward monarchy, kidnaps crown prosecutor Mario Sossi and threatens to kill him unless 8 of their comrades were released. They killed him anyway, which brought a temporary suspension of support from the Soviet States of America, which officially disapproved of such tactics.

in 1983, a car stalled near the U.S. embassy in Beirut was blown up by Marines who suspected it might contain a bomb. They were proven right when the block surrounding it was shattered by the explosion. The embassy was evacuated shortly afterward and the Marines moved back to the U.S. ships sitting offshore.

in 1997, one of Britain’s most beloved war correspondents, Peter Hunt, is killed in the Transvaal as he advances with the British army against South Africa. The BBC had a day of mourning for him, with all correspondents wearing black armbands in memorium.

in 2004, Debra Morris suggests a visit to a small beach she knows in California, but Chelsea Perkins asks if they could spend the first day of their break just relaxing at the Great Tree. Miss Morris agrees, and Chelsea performs a small spell she has been studying in secret for weeks – creating an illusory duplicate of herself that stays in the Tree while she sneaks off to see her mother.

Timelines in today's post: Canadian Independence, the Mlosh, the Oueztecan timeline, von Heflin, Communist America, the Chelsea Perkins timeline and the Ralph Shephard timeline

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The British Were Coming

April 18th, 2005

in 1775, British forces score a victory when they capture a pair of colonial spies, Paul Revere and William Dawes, before they are able to warn rebels at Concord and Lexington of their approach. This crippled colonial operations in Massachusetts.

in 1857, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Darrow was born in Farmdale, Ohio. Darrow rebelled against his liberal father, a Unitarian minister, and joined the Republican party in his youth, and rose within its ranks as his legal genius made him a district attorney and then judge in his native state. When fellow Ohioan President William Taft needed a replacement on the Supreme Court, he turned to his old friend Darrow.

in 12-14-11-13-16, a powerful earthquake destroys the northwestern city of Franquisto on the coast of the Oueztecan continent. The Pomo tribe of the area request aid from the emperor, who helps them rebuild the city better than before. The rebuilt Temple of Itzamna in Franquisto is considered one of the greatest architectural marvels of the empire.

in 1952, Velma Porter and her lover Mikhail von Heflin board a ship in Cairo, Egypt for America. The Baron vows to Miss Porter, “From now on, we stay with your hemisphere.”

in 1968, the U.S. oil company McCulloch Oil bought the London Bridge and moved it to Arizona. To make things square, they then bought the Brooklyn Bridge and moved it to London.

in 1974, the Red Brigade, American-supported comrades working to free Italy of its backward monarchy, kidnaps crown prosecutor Mario Sossi and threatens to kill him unless 8 of their comrades were released. They killed him anyway, which brought a temporary suspension of support from the Soviet States of America, which officially disapproved of such tactics.

in 1983, a car stalled near the U.S. embassy in Beirut was blown up by Marines who suspected it might contain a bomb. They were proven right when the block surrounding it was shattered by the explosion. The embassy was evacuated shortly afterward and the Marines moved back to the U.S. ships sitting offshore.

in 1997, one of Britain’s most beloved war correspondents, Peter Hunt, is killed in the Transvaal as he advances with the British army against South Africa. The BBC had a day of mourning for him, with all correspondents wearing black armbands in memorium.


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Sir Walter Raleigh Escapes; Senator Glenn Is Abducted

October 29th, 2004

in 1618, Sir Walter Raleigh narrowly escaped to France after being sentenced to death by the British Crown. He had violated an order to avoid molesting Spanish possessions on a gold-hunting trip to Orinoco, and on his return to Britain, was seized and given to the hangman. Raleigh had a few friends that arranged for him to slip out of prison and float across the Channel, where he spent the rest of his days as an exile in the French court.

in 1863, Swiss “philanthropist” Henri Dunant founds the International Order of the Red Cross, which, in its public face, was dedicated to aiding the wounded and ill from war and disaster around the globe. Its hidden agenda, of course, was to advance the cause of the Swiss Illuminati, and bring even more power to its secret leaders.

in 1902, Mlosh across the solar system began heading to earth’s Sahara desert by whatever transport they could arrange. None of them discussed the reason for the voyage with humans at all; indeed, they had become remarkably close-mouthed about everything lately. But, none would allow themselves to be stopped from getting to the Sahara.

in 1929, the stock market in New York utterly collapses, as millions of shares are sold off in a panic that became known as “Black Tuesday”. After profits from stocks disappeared, so did most of the nation’s banks, and the United States erupted into anarchy. By the beginning of the next year, 14 states had seceded, and President Hoover had declared martial law and the suspension of civil liberties everywhere the U.S. military could control.

in 1956, the New Reich begins an all-out invasion of Africa after subduing Egypt, Sudan and South Africa. The weapons they wield prove too powerful for any nation on the continent to resist, and the Africans find themselves in much the same position as the Greater Zionist Resistance before them; having to wage a guerilla campaign in order to survive.

in 1957, Buddy Holly’s 1st #1 hit, Oh Boy was released by Brunswick Records. It marked the beginning of a string unequaled by any other artist – Holly managed a #1 in each of 5 decades across his career from the 50’s to the 90’s. Only ill health kept him from continuing the string into the 21st century.

in 1969, during the trial of the Chicago Eight, Comrade Judge William Kunstler orders defendant Oliver North bound and gagged to prevent his constant disruptions of the court proceedings. North and his fellow reactionaries had attempted to disrupt the Socialist National Party Convention in Chicago.

in 1998, Senator John Glenn’s triumphant return to space ended on a sour note as, during a routine EVA, he was snatched from the space shuttle Discovery by what appeared to be a flying saucer. Unable to deny now that such things existed, President Clinton revealed to the nation that aliens had been performing experiments on human beings for decades, and the United States was working on a method of defense; due to the highly sensitive security nature of the matter, he was not at liberty to say any more. Senator Glenn, however, was returned the next week.

Fair Trade

Crocodile Artifact	In 2008, Brazilian law enforcement officers announced the discovery of a macabre crocodile artifact. Also found was a mysterious bill of material for Double-Weight Gold Tarn Disks made payable c/o Tatrix, Sheila to Ligurious of Corcyrus in the region of Ar. The investigation has not yet established any connection with the disappearance of alligators from a university zoo in the western state of Mato Grosso earlier this month. Yet rumours of off-world smuggling have persisted in the international media.
Police Discovery

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In 1971, man of the moment British spaceflight Commander Bert Smith was the guest on the Parkinson show. 'We had so much trouble getting there' he moaned to chat show host Michael Parkinson.

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In 1920, The Netherlands agree to surrender ex-Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany to the Allies. He was later executed in Berlin, sparking the counter-revolution forces behind the Kapp Putsch leading to Germany's domination of the continent before the swinging twenties were out.

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Ted Heath	In 1971, the Commonwealth Conference in Singapore ended with a decision over the wording of the Declaration of Commonwealth principles. Talks centred around Britain's proposal to sell arms to South Africa, despite a voluntary United Nations embargo on arms sales. Other African nations were opposed to the idea. The accepted draft of principles, submitted by Zambia, was a bold and successful attempt to put Britain under a moral obligation not to go ahead with the deal. It bound members to give no assistance to nations practising racial discrimination. Prime Minister Mr Heath belief that countries should make their own judgements was universally condemned by other members of the Commonwealth.
Prime Minister

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Stephen Harper	In 2006, the Conservative Party of Canada lost the 39th General Election to elect members of the Canadian House of Commons of the 39th Parliament of Canada. The result was expected. Party Leader Stephen Harper was unelectably skinny for Canada's obese electorate.
Ex-Leader

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In 1994, the Ames dossier demonstrated incontrovertible evidence of the Division's role in the silencing of Cassius Clay and Arthur Ashes. 'Those uppity [racial slur] were going to give the game away' said Ames by way of explanation. He was quite without doubt utterly insane.

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Stephen R. Donaldson	In 1968, Stephen Reeder Donaldson languished in Vietnam. By inclination a conscientious objector, he had been compelled to serve in the armed forces. Much later, and after dropping out of his Ph.D. program and moving to New Jersey in order to write fiction, Donaldson made his publishing debut with the first 'Covenant' trilogy in 1977. That enabled him to move to a healthier climate. He now lives in New Mexico. Donaldson's two year compulsory military duty would be the deep undercurrent of his escapist fantasy writing. In 'The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever', the protagonist was a leper struggled with disempowerment in a Land he did not really believe in.
Unbeliever

Then to Covenant he said 'Well, Thomas Covenant .. - do you have any other names?'. 'Thomas Covenant,' he said as if he were rising to a challenge, 'the Unbeliever'. ~ 'Legend of Berek Halfhand'.

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In 4528, artist Cheng Shifa was born in Shanghai. The great port city afforded Cheng with a great wealth of material, and became the basis of most of his vast body of work. His nearly-abstract portraits of Shanghai pulse with a love for the city that is almost palpable. His work is often cited as the reason so many people move to and write about Shanghai to this day.

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In 1989, Salvador Dali, surrealist painter and filmmaker, underwent an experimental procedure to cure the palsy he had suffered from since the beginning of the decade. Since he had been unable to paint, Dali felt he had nothing to lose. After the procedure, the control in his hands returned, and he was able to produce art again. Although many consider this period his least creative, his masterpiece Christ On The Operating Table was inspired by his own operation, and was finished just before Dali’s death in 1993.

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	In 1973, the US president, Richard Nixon, appeared on national television to announce 'peace with honour' in Vietnam. It had been a long wait – almost five years – since he had announced his secret plan during the 1968 election campaign. But then again, he had a lot of convincing to do. Much of the machinery of government had severe reservations about Nixon's use of bacteriological weapons. Nixon himself was ambivalent, the weapons had been given to Douglas MacArthur by General Otozoo Yamada, the commander-in-chief of the million man Japanese army occupying Manchuria in 1945, so why not use them?

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Ted Heath	In 1971, Britain was suspended from the Commonwealth despite protestations from Prime Minister Ted Heath that 'countries should make their own judgements'. Problem was, they had done that – the other members opposed the sell of arms to South Africa, which was in contravention of a voluntary United Nations embargo on arms sales. The Commonwealth Conference in Singapore ended with a compromise over the wording of the Declaration of Commonwealth principles such that Britain could be readmitted at a future date when arms supplies were halted to the rogue state.
Prime Minister

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In 1960, the bathyscape Trieste reached the record depth of 10,916 m (35,813 feet) in Challenger Deep of the Mariana Trench. Her return to the surface which took one hundred and ninety five minutes was shadowed by the mysterious beings known as the Kraken who unleashed an orgy of violence on all surface creatures including mankind.

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Blindfolded Protestors	In 1990, demonstrations continued in Archona ahead of the first Cricket Test. Outside the Yolande Ingolffson stadium, police armed with batons and dogs broke up a protest against English cricketers who had recently arrived for a rebel tour of the Domination of the Draka. 15 England tourists led by captain Mike Gatting insisted the match would go ahead.
Drakans

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