Sunday, May 30, 2004

Marx Emigrates To America

May 30, 2004

in 1843, Karl Marx moved to America and began spreading his philosophy. He became such an influence that by 1855, the Republican Party had renamed itself the Communist Party, and won its first presidential election the next year.

in 4579, Chao Sing-Lee, the first Star Sailor, achieved orbit and maintained it for 4 revolutions of the earth. Emperor Chengzu appointed Chao his Minister of the Stars upon his retirement from the Star Sailor program.

in 1900, nothing happened. Fnord.

in 1922, Astrid Pflaume took a young Lance Corporal of the Austro-Hungarian empire hostage, for reasons known only to her and the people she eventually negotiated his release with. The hostage, Lance Corporal Adolf Hitler, achieved quite a bit of fame on returning back to Austria, and went into politics.

in 1930, a year before his death, Thomas Edison finally saw his dream fulfilled; the Desktop Eddie, (popularly known as the Dede), a difference engine that was the size of a desk and only weighed 400 pounds. The Dede became the first difference engine small and cheap enough for sale to the general public, and so the Dede opened the door to an information revolution in the 30's.

in 1969, the construction began on the Hollywood set they used to fake the moon landing.

in 1990, President Dukakis of the US informed dictator Saddam Hussein of Iraq that the US would no longer be supplying him with weapons if he maintained his aggressive posture towards nations other than Iran. Republicans charged Dukakis with faithlessness towards America's allies.

in 2000, the unspeakable followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named took up their residence on the burnt-out cinders of the earth.

in the 43rd year of Mikhaol's reign, European forces laid siege to the capital city on the Central Continent. This would eventually drive Pharoah Mikhaol into exile on Harmakhis, and from this planet, he would plan his return to power.

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