Saturday, November 18, 2006


The state of TIAH

November 18th, 2006

Alternate Historian's Note: November is NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. In 2004, we produced our novel Warp, and last year we got a start on The Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion during this annual event. Both of these novels were based on timelines from TIAH – Warp was based on the Mlosh timeline, and Protocols on the Greater Zionist Resistance timeline. Although we posted numerous links to these novels on Lulu, TIAH didn't post any excerpts from them. We're going to do it a little differently this year. This year, the November posts on TIAH will be excerpts from the novel that is being written by us for NaNoWriMo. We will still have Guest Historian entries – Stephen Payne (who has compiled several and made them available on Lulu for free – just go through the Add to Cart system to get it) has some already written and waiting – so, if you want to make a Guest Post this month, go ahead and send it to us, and it will appear along with our novel post.

in 1872, on board the Mary Celeste and during a routine inspection of the cargo at nightfall, seamen Boy Lorenson and Volkert Lorenson are spooked by the rattling noises of three barrels. They hurry back to the deck without reporting the noises to Captain Briggs. That night, they both share a terrible dream. Playing the part of Isaac, they are about to be sacrificed by father Abraham. Instead of being substituted however, Abraham turns into a terrifying goat and prepares to stab them… at which point they wake up screaming. -entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!-

in 1946, former British Prime Minister Winston Spencer Churchill opens his daily post in his suite at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel, New York City. The headline of the German newspaper Die Zeitung reads 'This man of hate' reporting the execution of RAF Wing Commander Guy Gibson two days before at the Nuremberg Trials. The Nazi paper shows two pictures. One of the destruction of the Moehne and Eder dams by "bouncing bombs" on May 16, 1943. The other shows Gibson in a prison cell with his beloved black Labrador. The dog's name is a racial slur in English. The Nazi press makes great show of this racist tag, describing the British as hypocrites and bigots. -entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!-

in 2126, the showcase trial of Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majidida al-Tikriti versus the redneck George Walker Bush gets underway in Doha, Qatar. The Peace and Reconciliation Committee of the Reconstructed United Nations permits the Al Jazeera television channel to deliver live coverage across the globe. Arch-conservative Mullah Elijah Rafsanjani confidently anticipates that the twenty-first century's greatest hate figure will generate the equivalent of a nuclear reaction in post-Jihad society. The Committee will then be forced to authorize the use of the Hussein-Sadat time dilation device to correct historical injustices by sending jihadists into the past, rather than just summoning arch-criminals such as Bush, Columbus, Captain Cook et al. for retribution in the present-day. -entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!-

Kevin felt doubly fortunate that there was a branch of his bank within 7 blocks of the lottery building, and that it was open. Not too many people working, and he was also the only customer. He walked up to the teller and said, “Hi. I'm gonna need to make a deposit.”
The young man handed him a slip without turning from the television that was playing the EBS. There was a map of central Texas with a large circle centered on Crawford showing on the screen. Kevin put that out of his mind and filled out the deposit slip. He endorsed the cashier's check from the lottery, and then decided that he wanted a little walkin'-around money. He put down on the deposit slip that he wanted a hundred grand in cash. He then slid the check and slip over to the teller.
The young man turned away from the TV and looked down at the deposit slip. “Whoa.” He looked at the check, then looked up at Kevin. “You won the one last night?”
Kevin nodded and smiled ruefully. “Yep.”
The teller laughed and leaned over to the other teller working there. “Hey, this guy just won the lotto.”
She and the other people who had been watching the EBS turned away and looked over at him. She took a look at the check and said, “Hey, you wanna get married?”
Everyone laughed, and Kevin said, “Maybe later. I'm in kind of a hurry, though,” he said. “I have to report in to the National Guard.”
The male teller blinked and shook his head. “Man, talk about the good and the bad comin' all at once.” He tapped a few keys on his keyboard, then looked a little sheepish. “Uh, well, normally, Mr. Bradley, we only allow customers to get as much cash as they have in their account when they deposit a check.” A well-dressed woman behind Kevin shook her head and waved dismissively at the teller. “But, I guess we can make an exception today.”
“I appreciate that,” Kevin said. He was tapped on the shoulder and turned around to see the well-dressed woman holding a camera-phone.
“Sir, can I get a picture of you with Don, here? Kind of the one bright point today?”
“Sure,” he said, leaning over towards the teller as the teller leaned towards him. The camera buzzed, and the teller straighted up. Kevin just stayed there for a minute.
“You OK, sir?”
Kevin nodded. A little lop-sided smile sat on his face as he said, “I'd been plannin' on buying a nice car soon as I got the cash, but I guess I'm gonna have to wait, now.” He looked over at the teller heading towards the vault to get more money. “Why'd they have to do it today?”
“Why'd they have to do it at all?” She patted him on the back. “You're a good man for going in. I bet most people would take this money and just run off for Mexico or someplace.” She smiled in pride at him.
“Believe me, I thought about it.” She laughed. “Some days, you just gotta stand up, though.”
“Today's sure one of those days.”

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Anonymous said...

I don't know why, but I'm completely eager to see where the time dilation device timeline goes. I predict that the conservatives will get their way, send people into the past, and totally change their present into something they don't want. :)

And it looks like the novel's going pretty well! Think you'll finish with time to spare?

Steve Payne said...

Dear Anonymous
I'm quite intrigued you should make this guess! How can you be so sure they don't rescue Saddam from his present trial and (say) return him to 1989 to do things better thus creating the post-jihad timeline?

Anonymous said...

I didn't think about that. It might be all the SF/fantasy I've read that tells me that meddling with the past rarely does any good (Quantum Leap being the rare exception). :)

Besides, the entries didn't set up any of that kind of urgency, and it just FEELS like the conservative faction needs to be taken down a peg or two. I think it's their negative reaction to good things actually happening at their trials.

Anonymous said...

Take you deam state all the way to the stupid videos at

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.