Monday, October 15, 2007


"I had the Bell Telephone Company find him for me. They are wonderful that way. I have this disease late at night, sometimes, involving alcohol.
Kurt VonnegutI get drunk .. and then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the telephone, I ask the telephone operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years."

~ Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut was a fourth-generation German-American living in easy circumstances on Cape Cod (and smoking too much), who, as an American Infantry Scout hors de combat, as a prisoner of war witnessed the fire-bombing of Dresden.

In 1967, Vonnegut needed help with his memories for Slaughterhouse-Five, and decided to contact the crazy Colonel. For the sake of balance in his anti-war diatribe, if nothing else. And just taking up an open offer, after all.
Kurt Vonnegut

In 1978, it was just about impossible to enter any bar in Toronto without having to endure it at least twice during the course of the evening. Oh yes, we're talking about Plastic Betrand's's crazy French song Ça plane pour moi. Even in Old Toronto, our last anglophone bastion in New France.
Ça plane pour moiWorse, knowing it was a French rip-off version of the British queer punk anthem Jet Boy, Jet Girl. Talk about adding insult to injury, yet that was our history in this part of the world.
Ça plane pour moi
Some of us still hoped for our own nation, New Britain. It wasn't as if there was a shortage of real estate of course.

And the language barrier was absurd in one nation. It was like two dogs having a fight under a blanket.

The secession vote was only twelve months away. There was still hope for us Brits. Was it possible that the majority of citizens in Ontario would vote to leave New France? Possible - yes? Likely - not a chance.

The Ambassador
The Ambassador
In 1962, US President John F Kennedy angrily replaced the red telephone on its cradle on the Resolute Desk. Secretary Nikita Khrushchev had categorically denied Soviet participation in the deployment of nuclear missiles on Cuba. Bobby's back channel communication to Soviet Ambassador Anatoly Dobrynin had the same, puzzling result. His intercom buzzed and Evelyn Lincoln said in a small voice “Mr President, the Ambassador says he would like to see you”. “And I him” replies Kennedy, starting to stand up, ready for an argument with Dobrynin, until the door opens, and the Ambassador walked in to the Oval Office.

In 1962, during the Turkish Missiles Crisis Strategic Rocket Forces Marshal Mitrofan Nedelin warned Secretary Nikita Khrushchev that some of the US ships in the Gulf of İzmir were probably carrying missiles. In fact on a recent honeymoon to Armenia he had been told by Turkish KGB Agents that the US was planning to deploy missiles in Turkey. Direct military invasion was studied in depth, and an operational plan for pre-invasion bombardment was presented by Red Air Force CINC Colonel-General Braiko. Russian overflights of Turkey airspace and minor harassment at Izmir Naval Base were also the subject of repeated diplomatic notes from Turkey. Privately, Khrushchev believed Kennedy would withdraw the weapons, after all, he had demonstrated weakness over the Bay of Pigs, Berlin and at the Vienna Conference. He had backed down on all three occasions.Kennedy
In 1962, CIA Agent George HW started to plan the greatest conspiracy of the twentieth century – to arrange a CIA hit on the President, concealed as a KGB plot. It required an elaborate deception. The murdered US marine Lee Harvey Oswald was being impersonated by Soviet double Alek. The genius of Bush was to recruit a further six doubles who would shuttle between Mexico City, New Orleans, Fort Worth and Dallas to plant crucial evidence of a KGB plot the kill the President. The real plot to kill the President was the CIA's, and it was a punishment hit for failing to authorise air strikes on Cuba, thus abandoning their agents to Cuban Forces at the Bay of Pigs.

In 2007, using advanced techniques demonstrated on International Visit Today In Alternate History Day Rat hacks into the networks of global news agencies. RSS news feeders are intercepted, instead of publishing regular content, alternative history stories are published from TIAH.Robbie Taylor
Robbie Taylor

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