Monday, February 04, 2008

Noise

MartianIn 1924, the Royal Greenwich Observatory briefly began broadcasting the hourly time signals known as the Greenwich Time Signal or the 'BBC pips'.

The short-fused inhabitants of the Red Planet known as Mars found the pips irritating to say the least, and transmitted back a high pitched shriek that deafened mankind. You just need a firm hand when dealing with noisy neighbours.
Martian - Noise Control
Noise Control
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Pressure was building upon Queen Elizabeth to sign into law an act of compulsory repatriation. Ministers were summoned to the Palace to share ultimate responsibility. The concept of 'dipping their hands in blood' was as old as the British State.
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In 1811, owing to the utter incompetence of the Prince of Wales, Parliament named Prime Minister Spencer Perceval as Lord Protector because King George III had gone mad. After George III's death, the Lord Protector simply continued to rule England, and the princes and princesses of the realm no longer ascended to the throne.
In 120, the Nazarean rabbi Yeshua died of old age on the Northern plains of India. Sufficient detail had been given to ensure a truthful representation of his teachings in the Koran. Not so the synaptic Gospels, but then again it was understandable. He had left Judea in great haste of course.
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In 2004, Economic Hit Man John Perkins died in an automobile accident.

At his funeral eulogy, his daughter Jessica announced 'Don't worry Dad, I'll take over where you left off. We need to do this for the grandchildren I hope to give you some day'. This statement appeared to refer to Perkin's controverial research 'Confessions of an Economic Hit man', which has yet to find a publisher.
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In 2003, Soviet troops storm Seattle as ships bombard it from offshore. By the end of the day, all the People's Republic of America troops inside the city are ready to surrender, and they turn the city over to the victorious Soviet States of America. The entire soviet of Washington soon follows, and the die appears to be cast for the P.R.A.
In 1962, French President Charles De Gaulle calls for allowing Algeria to be an independent nation. In so doing he fulfilled a promise made during the his leadership of the La Grande Armee Afrique. Later that year De Gaulle was assassinated by the settler Organisation armee secrete terrorist group who then made a Unilateral Declaration of Independence (UDI).
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In 1971, crew members of the of the Apollo 14 Mission Alan Shepard and Edgar Mitchell aboard LM, Antares land on the Moon at Fra Mauro formation. By the end of the year both would be held at the Atlanta Plague Center, suspected carriers of a virulent space bug.
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In 1958, the Tybee Hydrogen Bomb is lost by the US Air Force off the coast of Savannah, Georgia. By a perverse twist of fate, it would detonate at the height of the Cuban Missiles Crisis, spooking the trigger-happy Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Curtis 'Bombs Away' LeMay into believing that America was under attack. The cool head of President Joseph P Kennedy was required to question why Georgia should be the chosen target for a Cuban nuclear launch. A serial womaniser and prohibition profiteer, Joe was an old hand at self-preservation by avoiding unnecessary fights.
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Sir Freddie LakerIn 1982, last minute invention from the UK Government stopped pioneering budget airliner Laker Airways collapsing with debts of GBP 270 million to banks and other creditors.

The government had taken a keen interest in the fortunes of Laker - Mrs Thatcher was a personal admirer of Sir Freddie - and following a four hour meeting at Gatwick, the Department of Trade confirmed there would after all be state assistance. Sir Freddie Laker had invested an extra GBP 60m in an attempt to rescue the airline. Insolvency would have been a major embarrassment for the Civil Aviation Authority.
Sir Freddie Laker - Pioneer
Pioneer
All 17 Laker aircraft would have been ordered to return to the UK by tonight and the British Airports Authority would need to impound a DC10 at Gatwick to cover the company's landing and parking costs. Stranded passengers - numbering 6,000 - would have the return half of their tickets honoured by British Airways, Pan American Airways, Air Florida and British Caledonian. The receiver Bill Mackey, partner of Ernst and Whinney, told the media: 'There was no way that Sir Freddie Laker can carry on with this business in its present form. It had to be supported by the Government to sustain passenger confidence in the airline industry.'
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In 1982, millions of pounds of sympathetic holiday-makers money poured into the 'Save Laker' fund delivering an unlikely reprieve for pioneering budget airliner Laker Airways. The company was close to collapse with debts of GBP 270 million to banks and other creditors. Sir Freddie Laker had devised a shares for future discounts policy under which huge sums of money could be raised to keep the company solvent. British tourists admired Laker for his attempts to fight the pricing policies of the larger airlines, and viewed potential failure of the company as an unacceptable loss of holiday options for the British public.
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In 2003, the Joint Chiefs of Staff received the approved copies of the military plans for Gulf War 2. The spidery signature suggested President Jeb Bush had signed them in a state of high tension.
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