Fear and Loathing

T.E. Lawrence	In 1918, the regular forces of British Commanding Officer General Edmund Allenby defeated the remaining Turkish Army in Palestine. A final and conclusive strike at the Battle of Megiddo in September 1918 left the road to Damascus open. By the time Allenby arrived Colonel T.E. Lawrence and the Arabs were already installed. With Lawrence translating Allenby attempted to deliver the message to Prince Feisal that his newly-appointed Arab government would not be recognized and the city was to be handed over to the French. Both Lawrence and Feisal reacted angrily to Western duplicity. The irregular troops that had pursued the Arab Revolt against the Turks now set their sights on the British and French, and their fury was very great indeed.
Arabist

After this fateful meeting Allenby asked his commander for leave and returned to England a broken man. Allenby was promoted to Field Marshal and later served as Britain's High Commissioner in Egypt from 1919 to 1925. He outlived Lawrence by one year.

~ quotation by Steve Payne

In 1922, volunteer troops of the Empire Legion reinforced the Anglo-French garrison at Çanakkale, the narrowest point of the Dardanelles. Not only was the Greek Army in full retreat from Smyrna, but the Chanak Incident was about to kick off big time. Having just replaced Lloyd George's war-time coaliton government, incoming British Prime Minister Lord Curzon feared the War in Asia Minor was about to escalate into the Second Great War - on his watch. That was why an Empire Legion comprising British, Canadian, ANZAC, SA, Rhodesian, Indian volunteers was just the ticket. MacKenzie King's government in Canada was against intervention, and the British public had no appetite for conflict. Curzon also had one eye on the Labour Party who were threatening the Conservatives now that the Liberals had imploded. Curzon had made his own calculations. He hoped that the veterans of the Empire Legion could reprise their recent stunning victory with White Forces in Northern Russian, dismantling the new Soviet regime. It was a new kind of armed foreign policy, in which the Great Powers would fight covert wars with irregular troops. Curzon was very much aware that on the other side of Turkey, was Colonel T.E. Lawrence and Prince Feisal whose own irregular troops were fighting a new Arab Revolt, against their new masters - the British and the French governments who had simply replaced the Turkish occupation in the Middle East.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Bernard Montgomery	"Einsatzgruppe Egypt" [the Nazi Death Squad] was standing by in Athens and was ready to disembark for Palestine in the summer of 1942 [to extend the Holocaust into Palestine], attached to the "Afrika Korps" led by General Erwin Rommel." ~ Monty justifying the extension of the British Mandate in Palestine
Imperialist

Field Marshall Montgomery, Chief of the Imperial General Staff reacting to pressure for Britain to withdraw its forces from Palestine in response to Jewish terrorism. Montgomery said that if not for the British victory at El Alamein, Nazi Germany would have expanded the extermination of Jews beyond the borders of Europe and into British-controlled Palestine during World War Two. Montgomery presented the Irgun bombed of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem with evidence that death squads known as "Einsatzgruppe Egypt" were standing by in Athens and was ready to disembark for Palestine in the summer of 1942. This group would be attached to the "Afrika Korps" led by the famed desert commander General Erwin Rommel. The Middle East death squad, similar to those operating throughout eastern Europe during the war, was to be led by SS Obersturmbannfuehrer Walther Rauff. "The central plan for the group was the realization of the Holocaust in Palestine," said Montgomery, "But since Germany never conquered British-controlled Palestine, plans for bringing the Holocaust to what is now Israel and the Palestinian territories never came to fruition."

~ quotation by Steve Payne

Woodrow Wilson	"The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. " ~ Woodrow Wilson, Global Peace Architect
US President

Before his refusal to meet with Ho Chi Minh at the Paris Peace Conference in 1919. Uncle Ho requested an appointment to urge that the principle of self-determination should also apply to the population of the French Union Colony of Indochina. Wilson believed that the principles codified in the Treaty of Versailles should extend no further than Europe, seeing no parallel exclusion of African Americans from the US Constitution. A historic opportunity was missed whilst there was still time to prevent a mistake becoming a human catastrophe. The full story of Minh's Peace Conference Gambit is described at Today in Alternative History

~ quotation by Steve Payne

Mobile Phones	In 2011, the Mobile Telecommunications and Health Research Programme, said that because it can take more than a decade for cancer symptoms to become detectable only now was it possible to "say for certain" that handsets can cause the disease. MTHR had been running more than a dozen studies assessing the effects on human health, reporting as late as 2007 that "Phone safety is still an unknown". The independent group of scientists had received more than £10m from the UK Government and the mobile phone industry.
Market Collapses

Professor Lawrie Challis, the MTHR chairman, said: "We can now say with confidence that cancer can appear through excessive use of mobile phone handsets". Bluetooth technology and hands free sets are expected to be the "winners" when consumer confidence returns.

~ quotation by Steve Payne

FDR	"First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. " ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
US President

Whilst the fears of isolationists prevented the United States from joining World War II. A generation later, America faced the Empires of Germany and Japan alone as described by Harry Turtledove In the Presence of Mine Enemies

~ quotation by Steve Payne

Glubb Pasha	In 1941, 'the internecine struggles of the Arabs,' Glubb Pasha told Count László de Almásy and Colonel Ned Lawrence 'are more in the minds of Arab politicians than the struggle against the Jews. Azzam Pasha, the mufti and the Syrian government would sooner see the Jews get the whole of Palestine than that King Abdullah should benefit.'
The Mufti was more than keen for the Final Solution to be brought to the British mandate in Palestine. On balance, Lawrence was confident that Glubb Pasha could be expected to do the "right thing" in a forthcoming war of independence. After all, who could not be impressed by what Lawrence called "the eternal miracle of Jewry?"
~ variant by Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the genius of Susan Shwartz and Michael Ondaatje

Ulysses spacecr..	In 1994, on this day the Ulysses probe passed the Sun's south pole. The spacecraft was launched from the Space Shuttle Discovery by NASA and the European Space Agency, equipped with instruments to characterize fields, particles, and dust. Part of the InterPlanetary Network (IPN), Ulysses provided the first clues to the Sun's accelerating gamma ray bursts.
By 2030, the IPN had been renamed to the United Nations Committee for Survival of Life on Earth and increasingly desperate measures were being attempted to deal with this planet-threatening solar development.
~ entry by Steve Payne

In 1990, George Alec Effinger published his counter-history masterpiece Everything But Honour, posing the question What if Robert E. Lee fought for the Confederacy and the Civil War was over after Lincoln issued an Emancipation Proclamation? Thinking things would be better, a white supremacist working in 1938 Imperial Germany goes back in time to make Lee follow a different path.	Robert E. Lee
~ entry by Steve Payne

Annapolis	1788, the North American Union Constitutional Convention in Annapolis set the date for the country's first Governor-General's election. Victoria became the temporary capital as Britain restructured the Thirteen Colonies and Canada into self-autonomous Dominions.
~ entry by Steve Payne

In 1940, Italy invaded Egypt. A group of officers, headed by Gamal Abdul Nassar, and Anwar el-Sadat, secretly side with the Italians, ridding Egypt of Britain's presence. The “factional” account was told by counter-historian Ken Follett in his masterpiece ”The Keys to Rebecca” (1980). In a tribute to Philip K Dick's 1964 counter-factual novel Man in the High Castle, Follett presented a book within a book, 'The Sphinx Lies Heavy'.
Set in Britain in 1956, the proud nation has humiliated President Nasser by seizing back the Suez Canal after nationalisation. All because some ten years earlier Britain defended Egypt from the Italians, and chose not to punish a group of officers, headed by Gamal Abdul Nassar, and Anwar el-Sadat who secretly side with the invaders. Like Dick before him, the essence of Follett's masterpiece is the duality of his frightening visions.
~ entry by Steve Payne

God save the queen, the fascist regime They made you a moron, potential H-bomb God save the queen she ain't no human being There is no future in England's dreaming
God Save the Queen	Don't be told what you want, Don't be told what you need There's no future, no future, No future for you God save the queen We mean it man We love our queen God saves And our figurehead is not what she seems ~ Lyrics to “God Save the Queen” - Click to Watch
God Save the Queen

In 1977, an off-site Cabinet meeting by the executors of the Plot Against British Prime Minister Harold Wilson entered day two at Chequers. Interim Prime Minister Lord Louis Mountbatten and his deputy Major General Ord Wingate, DSO were in the Chair. Also present was the Home Secretary Margaret Thatcher and the Minister for Citizenship Mary Whitehouse who had just finished watching the latest installment of horror - the Sex Pistols playing "God Save the Queen". Both military leaders had a strong sense of perspective. They understood fully that the problem went back to 1951, with the Conservative victory when Churchill formed his first peacetime administration. He had little feel for what should be done. He confided to Oliver Lyttleton that "In the worst of the war I could always see how to do it. Today's problems's are elusive and intangible." Afterwards, Mountbatten and Wingate retired with brandys and cigars. Privately, Ord thought the Sex Pistols were right about one thing. In that haunting line "And our figurehead is not what she seems", there was a nugget of wisdom. After all, had not the Queen engineered Harold Wilson out of power to be replaced by Interim Prime Minister Louis Mountbatten? The lyrics are available at at Plyrics

~ quotation by Steve Payne

South Pole

The state of TIAH

January 16th, 2007

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Alternate Historian's Note: We have a side-project that was announced over the weekend – a collection of several timelines with more-or-less complete stories inside them – The Fall, the Tolman timeline, the Mormon War and more – that will be up for sale on Lulu, as soon as we have it edited together. If you would be interested in this, or would like to suggest something for inclusion in the collection, please email me and let me know. Meanwhile, enjoy Guest Historian Stephen Payne's entry for today, followed by the continuation of our NaNoWriMo novel.

Modern Day Univ..	In 1809 the Peninsula War reached a decision at the Battle of La Coruña when 16,000 British troops under Sir John Moore were defeated by an equal number of French troops under the command of Marshal Soult. The British faced two overwhelming setbacks with Sir Arthur Wellesley recalled to ..
.. face a Court of Inquiry and Spanish allies smashed by Napoleon. Victorious, Soult expelled British forces from the Iberian Peninsula, a catastrophe from which the anti-Napoleonic alliance never recovered. The struggle for the mastery of Europe was over as French hegemony was firmly established across the continent.
~ entry by Steve Payne from counter history in context - you're the judge!

In 1942 Field Marshall Bernard Law Montgomery receives intelligence that Franco-German reinforcements are travelling through a corridor of neutral Spain. He chooses to strike first. In true Monty style he visits the individual companies of the British Eighth Army and carefully readies them ..	Monty
.. for the battle with La Grande Armée Afrique.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Ernest Shacklet..	In 1909 Ernest Shackleton's expedition find the magnetic South Pole where the team are sucked into the powerful vortex. Multidimensional energies fold space and time, sending them to the court of that most shrewd of monarchs, King George V of Great Britain just minutes before the entrance ..
.. of a most surprising guest. Defeated General George Washington, arriving from the Colonies to sue for final settlement terms. Shackleton convinces George V to avoid substantive discussions until he can brief him fully on his 1776.
~ entry by Steve Payne from counter history in context - you're the judge!

In 1412 a powerful and influential Florentine family the Medicis are ..	Medicis
.. made official bankers of the Papacy. The Medici Bank remained a vital power broker in Western Europe until the conclusion of the Great Patriotic War in 1946. A decision was reached in the struggle for mastery in Europe as the Romanov established their political hegemony, replacing the papacy with the Orthodox Church which dominates the continent until this very day.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

After(cont.)
Darkness crept over him just in time. Jake donned the night-vision goggles and looked out across the field at the ranch house. There were a few bright spots that he had to look away from – the windows, he guessed – and a couple of guys outside with flashlights. No huge security detail on the outside, at least not that he could see.
He scanned the entire area for more guards; there was a deer-blind with someone inside, and nobody else. The true believers, he guessed. That would also cut down on the number of people who could guard the president, which worked in his favor. He took one more look around, saw no additional security, and then slithered back to the creek bed where the others waited.
Once he felt that he was far enough away from the ranch house to not be seen, he stood up and looked around again. He caught a glimpse of something moving out of the corner of his eye, and ducked just in time to avoid a fist sailing through the air where his head had been. He caught the fist in both hands and twisted hard, flipping the man to the ground. He smacked the man in the back of the head twice, as hard as he could, and felt the body go limp. He let go, and the soldier slumped to the ground, unconscious. Jake whirled around, but saw no one else. The fact that this guy had seemed to come out of nowhere didn't make him feel confident about that assessment, though. He pulled the guy's shoelaces out and used them to tie him up, then ran back to the creek bed as fast as he could.
When he got to the jeep, the others looked worried, which didn't make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Pulling off the night-goggles, he asked, “What's wrong?”
“They're drafting the entire state,” Janice told him. “We're gonna be heading into a lot of opposition.”
“More than you know,” Jake said. “We gotta spring the president now. I just got jumped by one of the goons guarding him.”
Eli cocked the hammer on his gun and said, “Lock and load, baby.”
Jake shot a look at him and told him, “Never say that again.”
Eli deflated and whispered, “OK.”
Jake looked the three of them over and wished that he had taken that assignment in Afghanistan when he had the chance. “Everybody got a weapon?” They all showed him their guns. “Let's get this over with, then.”

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Nuts Again

June 7th, 2007

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The Announcement

in 1891, 'Sockless' Jerry Simpson sends back General Theodore Monteith's truce messenger with a one-word message: “Nuts.” Monteith prepares for a retreat out of Topeka, telling his men, “We'll be back. Have no doubt in your mind about that; we'll be back, and this will soon be over.” He manages to leave Kansas' capitol with surprisingly few casualties; most historians of the era feel that Simpson let Monteith leave without undue resistance because he wanted to preserve his own forces against any coming Union onslaught. Allowing Monteith to retreat unmolested proved a disaster for his comrades in Kansas City, where the general headed to relieve his chief aide, Lt. Colonel Mark Wainwright, who was in a hard fight in the border town.

in 1999, Leopold Turkavian, a former soldier of the Central European Empire and current assassin for the Illuminati, breaks into Queen Gwen's bedchambers in her Welsh retreat and attempts to kill her. The queen has other ideas, and fights Turkavian off long enough for her security detail to burst in and finish the man off. She tells them to be ready for more; “As the last of the Empire falls to us, their agents will grow more desperate. Take care that the king's guard watches him, as well.”

In 2003, in the West the Corporation's Source Project reached make-or-break point. Software developers built a game-world of nightmare and wonder. Evil called to evil. Windows were about to open into the world, and the Power shift dimensions. Perhaps unwittingly the Corporation would usher in the Magic Time.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 10,195, AG Paul Atreides led a Fremen insurgency on Dune, terminating the supply of the Universe's most valuable commodity, the spice known as melange. The troops of Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV and Baron Vladimir Harkonnen arrived on the planet Dune for a showdown. They were supported by a coalition of the willing from the noble houses of the Landsraad; together, they must resume the supply of melange.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Plague spreads ..	In 1760, Yersinia pestis held court in the great continent of Europe and his mastery was absolute. His warriors Nosopsyllus fasciatus and rattus rattus had defeated the Royal families of Hapsburg, Romanov, Stuart, Hohenzollern inter alia and they ran riot in this fallen house. The great cities ..
.. of Rome, Paris and London were playgrounds for the flea and the rat and they ruled with impunity. Mighty was their demesne and silent also.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 2012, Mrs George Walker Bush sensed time was on her side. W needed time to make a big U turn, he was a stubborn character who demanded a complete rethink. She was confident he would come around to the idea of passing the baton to her. Making Condi the first African American President of the United States would play well ..	Condoleeza Rice
.. with the electorate. She had checked with all 17 of them at Camp David. They were the sole American survivors of the nuclear exchange with the Axis of Evil countries that had extirpated life above ground.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Frederick Forsy..	In 1976, on this day the author Frederick Forsyth published the semi-fictional account “The Day of the Jackal”. The book depicted the events of 1974 when the Emperor Napoleon V Airport was belatedly opened by the Mayor of Paris, André Joseph Marie de Gaulle. The event was almost marred by an assassination attempt on ..
.. the Major. The assassin known as the Jackal, disguised as a war veteran, made his way to a building which faced the runway where de Gaulle presented veterans with medals. However, the Jackal failed to take into account the Gallic custom of kissing on both cheeks, expecting instead that de Gaulle would shake hands with the medal recipient. As the Jackal fired, de Gaulle simultaneously moved forward to kiss the recipient on the cheeks, causing the bullet to miss.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1994, London Underground train number AEJX57B pulled smoothly into Liverpool Street Station at rush hour. The platform could not be more crowded with humanity. And of course the train is packed like a sardine tin already. Frustrating to get squeezed and shuffled and sweat out your expensive business clothes and ..	Carriage 16A
.. still not get a seat home with your expensive season ticket. But what's this, Carriage 16A is completely empty?
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

June 8th, 2007

in 1891, Lt. Colonel Mark Wainwright's forces in Kansas City receive good and bad news – the bad news is that General Monteith was forces to abandon Topeka, Kansas to the rebels. The good news is that Monteith is on his way to Kansas City. This news quickly spreads through the streets in the border town, and rebels begin abandoning the town in droves. Wainwright almost has the town under control by the time that Monteith arrives to mop up. The general arrives very determined to return to Kansas' capitol, and wants Wainwright to spend his every waking moment in planning to make it happen. “That city will be mine, Mr. Wainwright.” The colonel vows, “I shall expend all my resources to make it so, general.”

in 1999, an assassin attacks King Arthur II of Great Britain as he rests in his Welsh retreat with Queen Gwen. His Majesty is stabbed several times by the man that everyone assumes is sent by the Central European Empire's vestiges, and is flown to London just before lapsing into a coma. Queen Gwen goes on television to announce to the nation, in a tear-filled voice, that “no matter what these villains may do, no matter the atrocity that they perpetrate on those we love, we shall never rest, we shall never relent in our holy task to bring them to justice, and to cast them down from the command of nations.” Her stirring words rally the nation and send her personal popularity soaring. She is now in effective command of the country, and she pursues the war against her old masters ruthlessly, scouring them from the face of Europe wherever they are found.

In 2003, planes fell out of the sky, metal wings were replaced by leather and the lights went out for good. The Source Project had invited something catastrophic into the World. The Magic Time had begun.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 10,195, AG on the Planet Dune, Paul Atreides led an assault by Fremen mounted on giant sand-worms. House atomics were detonated to blast through the sand-wall and enter the desert capital, Arrakeen in a surprise attack on the House of Shaddam Corrino IV. Surging into the city to defeat the coalition of the willing, the Messiah found that the nuclear detonation had transported the Fremen back at least 20,000 years into unrecorded human history. They arrived at a different, yet no so different point in their distant past. The Fall of Baghdad, 2003 was being fought out by the noble House of Hussein al-Tikriti and the noble House of Bush.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Zanzibar Leopar..	In 1760, the brisk merchant's trade off the coast of Tanzania is undeterred by the depopulation of Europe. Far from it, the world's oldest marketplace at Zangi-bar (Zanzibar City) had never been busier. Equidistant from the Turtle Island, the Far East and the Gulf of Arabia, Zangi-bar was uniquely positioned as the trade ..
.. hub of the modern world. Hailed throughout Africa as an economic leopard, London's loss was most definitely her gain.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 2012, at Camp David there had been a further episode of bashing between the third term US President George W Bush and his Secretary of State and second wife, Condoleezza Rice. The Battle of the Bushes had moved back out of the trenches into a rapid war of movement. W had offered Condi the Vice Presidency during his fourth ..	George Bush
.. term. She could be the back seat driver that Dick Cheney had been to date. “Honey, its a fine offer” he said just before she bashed him over the head with an executive toy from the Resolute Desk.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Steve Payne	In 1959, the USS Barbero and United States Postal Service attempt the delivery of mail via Missile Mail. The Missile would land by deploying an internal parachute upon arrival. It has been attempted by various organisations in many different countries, with varying levels of success. The collection of philatelic material ..
.. used for (and depicting) rocket mail is a specialist branch of aerophilately known as astrophilately. Until the late 1950s, the idea was treated with derision due to the cost of the schemes and numerous failures. However the 1957 Dropshot War with Russia and China had rendered radioactive many parts of the continental United States, seriously inhibiting conventional forms of transportation. Perversely, astrophilately was an idea whose time had come around, mostly as a result of the nuclear missile.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1994, at West Ruislip depot British Transport Police inspect London Underground train number AEJX57B. At issue is the simply inexplicable emptiness of Carriage 16A at rush hour. Well, not quite empty. Just a single catatonic passenger. He become prime suspect #1 about three nanoseconds after the British Transport ..	Passenger #1
.. Police found him. The appearance of a radical Muslim cleric is against him and already whispering has started about how long he will go down for. Twenty-fours was the right answer, but it was a bet nobody would have dreamed of taking at that point. After all, he was being taken to Paddington Green, the most important high security police station in the United Kingdom.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Showdowns

In 1995, historian Richard M. Langworth described the early phases of World War III. Operation Overlord was modified to invade a very different Occuped Europe than that original envisaged. Halifax's carthaginian peace in May 1940 created a power vacuum, such that Stalin's conquest of Europe did not stop at Berlin. Consequently the Allies beach head was the first step on the long road to Moscow. “Without the logistical support of Stay Behind Organisations” said Langworth, "it is improbable that Overlord would have been a success". This reference to the Nazi Werwolf group run by Otto Skorzeny and Operation Glaudio in Italy is bound to create deep embarrassment in European Democracies. Complicity with defeated Fascist nations was hinted at in the banned movie Dr Strangelove: How I learned to stop worrying and love the Nazis, and was considered a no-no for many years.

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In 2007, Los Angeles Police Department charged African American actress Halle Berry with racial incitement. Whilst on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Berry had been shown a picture of herself with a distorted, large nose. She had remarked “I look like my Jewish cousin”, to which Leno had replied, “I'm glad you said that and not me, that's ten years in County”.

When the show aired, they cut out her 'Jewish' comment and added a laugh track to the bit."

The actress later apologised for her remarks, insisting she didn't mean any offence. She said: "I so didn't mean to offend anybody - and after the show I realised it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did.

"I was backstage before the show and I have three girls who are Jewish who work for me. We were going through pictures to see which ones looked silly, and one of my Jewish friends said of the big-nose picture, 'That could be your Jewish cousin!' And I guess it was fresh in my mind, and it just came out of my mouth. But I didn't mean to offend anybody. I didn't. I didn't mean any harm."

LAPD have confirmed that these remarks in no way protect Berry from a violation of racial incitement law, and are determined to maintain their “zero tolerance“ policy.

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In 1976, Mrs Baylock instructed Jeremy Thorn "Go to the city of Meggido, there see the Old Man Bugenhagen. Only he can describe how the child must die". "See Bugenhagen before its too late!" repeated Mrs Baylock with great urgency. She need not have worried, Thorn was by now a man with a purpose.	Hallowe'en Story

In 2007, on this day the new British Prime Minister Gordon Brown called an early election. He sought a fresh mandate for change, aiming to capitalise on the improved opinion polls since his arrival at 10, Downing Street.
Gordon Brown	The campaign anthem was appropriate - “We like to move it, move it”. After ten years in government, an unprecedented opportunity to change Britain had been wasted by Tony Blair. However, Blair had at last resigned in favour of Brown, and the Labour movement had a once in a century change to get it right. ~ Reel to Real's I Like to Move It, Move It - Click to Watch Sample
Move It

The exceptionally tough life experiences of Gordon Brown prepared him for the highest role in British politics. The show man Tony Blair put the plan on hold for ten years. In his defence, Blair had the charisma of an international statement, that perhaps Brown did not. However, it was widely recognised that it was time for Britain to focus on matters close to home and stop causing trouble on the world stage.

In 2008, at the head office of the restaurant chain Wanda's of Montreal a disgruntled employee, a database administrator issued a rogue instruction to the corporate database: UPDATE COMMENTS SET NICE_COMMENT = 'Y' WHERE ABUSIVE_COMMENT='Y' AND UPPER(THE_COMMENT) CONTAINS 'THUX%';

Glaudio	In 1990, Italian prime minister Giulio Andreotti revealed to the Italian parliament the existence of Gladio, the Italian "stay-behind" clandestine paramilitary NATO army, intended to counter a Warsaw Pact invasion of Western Europe. What was not intended was they would act as a secret army taking every opportunity to undermine left-wing politicians, making their own interpretation of the motto “Silently, I serve freedom”. Andreotti himself was more coy about the a batch of letters he had received in 1978.
"As the conspiracy theorists would have it, [Italian Prime Minister] Mr. [Aldo] Moro was allowed to be killed either with the acquiescence of people high in Italy’s political establishment, or at their instigation, because of the historic compromise he had made with the Communist Party" (The Independent, November 16, 1990, quoted by Statewatch). "During his captivity, Aldo Moro wrote several letters to various political figures, including Giulio Andreotti. In October 1990, "a cache of previously unknown letters written by the former Prime Minister, Aldo Moro, just prior to his execution by Red Brigade terrorists in 1978... was discovered in a Milan apartment which had once been used as a Red Brigade hideout. One of those letters made reference to the involvement of both NATO and the CIA in an Italian-based secret service, 'parallel' army", wrote The Irish Times on November 15, 1990 (quoted by Statewatch).

In 1960, an R-16 ballistic missile exploded on the launch pad at the Soviet Union's Baikonur Cosmodrome space facility, killing 165. Among the living is Field Marshall Mitrofan Nedelin, who left the pad shortly before ignition for a cigarette break and was to play a decisive role in the Turkish Missiles Crisis just two years later.	Nedelin Disaster

Kennedy	In 2999, the mind cast for the next instalment of “Personality of the Triple Millennia” was re-run across the networks. POT3M drew an even larger audience because of its oddness. John F Kennedy was the candidate, the context was the Cuban Missiles and the moment was seconds after US Air Chief Marshall Curtis LeMay had proclaimed a military government. Kennedy asked MC Millennia if remembered where they were the day LeMay tried to kill them?

In 1998, on this day the spacecraft Deep Space 1 was launched on top of a Delta II rocket. As part of NASA's New Millennium program, the primary goal was the testing of twelve advanced technologies that have the potential to lower the cost and risk of future missions. Deep Space 1 succeeded in its tasks and also achieved its secondary goals: flybys of the asteroid Braille and of Comet Borrelly. Passing the comet passage intact, Deep Space 1 was able to return valuable science data and stunning pictures of the discovery of life on the comet. Gregory Benford's journal The Heart of the Comet recounts how mission parameters were changed because of fear of contamination from the borrellyform life and attempts to destroy the comet and those living upon it.	Deep Space 1

Larting

August 17th, 2007

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The Announcement

Don't forget - Birthday Contest for Steve – November 22, 1967. Send in an alternate birthday for him for us to post!


I'm sort of an enigma in the circles I travel in. Most of my friends, they're looking for something like a nation that was lost to time, or a people that never rose to greatness, or The Perfect World. Me, I'm looking for the Porno Universe.

It's a small dream, but it keeps me going.

You might think this was a waste of the talent, that I should be doing something noble and beneficial to the multiverse at large. You might be right. I don't care. Because, when it comes right down to it, all those ennobling and beneficial things already exist somewhere, and somebody's already figured out how to get them to everybody. All I can do is try to find some way and some place to be happy myself, and I've chosen the Porno Universe.

I mean, think about it. In the Porno Universe, (or how I envision it, at least), there's no violence against other men, no violence against women, no frustration, everybody is devoted to happy sexual congress and doing anything necessary to keep everybody satisfied. It's the ideal world.

Yeah, I know, it's a rationalization. Bite me. It's my rationalization. When you've been roaming around the planes as long as I have, all the others tend to wear thin. I needed something primal to keep me going.

My buddy Patrice, who's been hanging out with me for a while now, is looking for the African planes, where Africa took over the world in the same way that Europe took over the world in the planes we're both from. He's always wanted to see European slaves being whipped to work by African overlords. He wants to own a few Europeans himself. He's kind of a racist, when you come right down to it, but a nice enough guy otherwise. Sometimes he's been close, but never gotten quite the world he likes. I've been his 'servant' quite a few times, but there was always an equality movement in those worlds, about to succeed, too, and he didn't feel like sticking around to fight it, and possibly lose.

I can understand that. I found a Sado-Masochist Porno Universe once, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. When you can do what we do, why bother settling when you can have the whole dream?

We were out in the mid-planes, just trying to find someplace palatable for a little rest. We'd just come from one of those worlds where aliens had taken over in the Middle Ages, you know, where the Non-Interference Pact between the T'Kung and the Bisli hadn't been made, and earth had become a staging ground for their war. After spending a few days in Enviro-suits because of alien terraforming, we both needed a vacation.

"How about that one over there?" Patrice pointed at a tidy little planar conjunction, and I scanned it for a minute.

"Nah, it feels like one of those places where the Nazis won."

"Oh, I hate those places. You have to dye your hair blonde, I have to color my skin and wear contacts - "

"Yeah, not today." I scanned another conjunction a bit further off. "That one feels a little different. Not quite a world-vision place, but close."

"I do notice a distinct African strain in it," Patrice said hopefully. "Let's try it out."

We moved into the conjunction, and felt our body chemistry shift slightly to accommodate the new world we were coming into. It gives you a kind of giddy high for a few minutes; a few of the newbies'll just spend days popping in and out of conjunctions. It's hilarious to see them when they finally come down off it. There's no hangover like a dimensional hangover.

We came out of the conjunction into a decidedly non-technical city. Most of the buildings were one story high and kind of a rustic, just-post-air- conditioning level of architecture. A couple of buildings did have a grander look to them, but there was one building that caught both of us right away. It was at least 500 feet high, and it was an African pyramid.

Patrice was in Heaven.

"I think this is it, I think this is it !" He was jumping up and down, shouting thanks to several African deities. "I can feel the blood of the motherland all around me!"

I took his arm and pointed off towards the pyramid. "Then, how do you explain those guys?" Coming from the grungier buildings were a line of people who, while not exactly Aryan types, were a lot paler than Patrice was. I didn't see anybody who looked like they were of pure African ancestry.

"Slaves," he said, quite confidently. "Look over there, where they're lining up."

Off in the distance, on a road that led towards the pyramid, there were a group of African men herding the paler, plodding types into an elephant-drawn truck. The white boys didn't seem any too happy about the situation, but didn't resist. A couple of times, one of them said something that one of the Africans didn't like, and they were beaten until they couldn't stand anymore. Then, they were picked up and loaded onto the truck by their fellows.

"Great. I get to play your houseboy again."

"I don't think you're going to want to stay here, Gabriel. I'm getting the download about this dimension right now, and it's not looking very good for people of European ancestry here." He motioned me behind one of the buildings, out of sight of the slaveloading operation. Raising his hand, he projected an image of the world on the wall. Several lines were drawn between Africa and Asia, and a few routes were shown between Africa and the Americas, but virtually everything looked to be under the colonial control of about fourteen African nations. Europe was split into bits and pieces, with no indigenous governments controlling anything. Asia was allied with Africa, but was definitely the junior partner. "Europeans are the key to economic prosperity here. There are about 200 million of them, and they do all of the muscle work, leaving the Africans and Asians free to pursue more intellectual goals." A broad smile appeared on Patrice's face, and looked like it'd never leave. "It's paradise."

I had to laugh. "Yeah, it's what you've been looking for, all right. But, is there a freedom movement for the Europeans? Or, an abolition movement among either the Asians or Africans?"

"There was one, about a hundred years ago." He pointed at south Asia. "The Chinese emperor had a European concubine, and apparently fell so much in love with her that he began to have second thoughts about the entire European situation. He began emancipating Europeans, even gave them a small chunk of China to call their own. After his death, though, they fell under the influence of Koreans who wanted to free themselves from the empire, and, in the war that followed, the Europeans were put back under the yoke, along with the Koreans. Since then, no other European emancipation program has been enacted."

"Have you got the local language imprinted, yet?"

He held a hand to his head. "I'm getting it now. It's very similar to pre-Arabic Egyptian, with a little pre-Arabic Ethiopian thrown in."

"Are personal slaves expected to speak?"

"Only when they're spoken to." He pounded my back. "You'll finally get to show me the proper respect."

"Yes, master." I started accessing the download from him and assimilating the language, and any pointers about how I should act as Patrice's boy. It wasn't too different from how slaves are supposed to act everywhere. Abasement, deference, and quickness to obey orders are what people want of a slave no matter what culture is dominant. It's sometimes a little sad to see that the bad side of our nature remains so constant.

But, philosophizing doesn't get you any closer to the Porno Universe.

Geezer Butler	Look how people pay money to see scary movies, we should try writing scary music and change our name to Black Sabbath? ~ Geezer Butler - Click to Watch Sample
Black Sabbath

In 1969, the British Police closed the case file on Terence Michael Joseph "Geezer" Butler (his nickname supposedly arose from a habit as a teenager of referring to everyone as "Geezer"). The recent death of the thirty year old was ruled misadventure. Other members of the band Earth provided a more sinister explanation based on recent occultist influences the band had been flirting with. According to the vocalist John Michael “Ozzy” Osbourne, the band had been working on a new signature tune “Black Sabbath” which was inspired by an experience that Geezer Butler related to Osbourne. Geezer had painted his apartment matte black and placed several inverted crucifixes on the walls. Then, one day, Ozzy brought round a book about Witchcraft, which Geezer became extremely fascinated by. One night, he read the book and fell asleep. He recalled waking up and seeing a black figure and, as he put it, "cr*pped myself". He then told Ozzy, who wrote the lyrics to what would become Black Sabbath: "What is this that stands before me? Figure in black which points at me". He repeated the story over the coming weeks before being found death by Osbourne. Even though he had just turned thirty, his hair was completely white. And the witchcraft book was missing. The lyrics are available at at Lyricsdomain

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 2008, English-born Canadian Steve Payne was sued by BlueberryPie for alluding to Freudian motives for owners of the EyeFone Quartz Midnight who he suggested suffered from Psychosexual under-development. Simon Works the President of BlueberryPie dismissed this recalcitrant as a “lowser that wants larting*. The guy should spend less time in the Muffin shop dizzing the product and more time down the gym working off those six bellies where you could tuck a dozen EyeFones and smuggle them out of the country”.

~ entry by Co-Historian Steve Payne

Larting: Lowser-Attitute-Readjustment-Tool e.g. Soft baseball bat over the head, term of alleged empathy used by IT staff all over the world to describe technically “challenged” end users.

In 2002, Chris Bunch's Tarnished Glory contemporaries Custer and Patton were appointed to Supreme Allied Command following a plane crash killing Eisenhower and Bradley. Much like the appointments of Hindenburg and Ludendorff to German High Command in World War I, the dynamics of war-time had delivered an unexpected historic opportunity that was seized by second choice mavericks.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2010, techno tragedy struck down a talentless middle-aged author in the wilds of Canada. For many years, the deceased had been guilty of "eating the shopping". This obscure crime involved premature consumption of the goodies part of the weekly groceries. Recently, the fridge had been micro-chipped with a Java appliance which automatically re-ordered shopping items for home delivery as they approached minimum stock levels. Predictably, this device had unleashed a six month binge. Colleages from the Academy paid their respects, indicating that the Co-Historian had copied Editor's note: Surely "created"? some quality work before his fingers had become infeasibly porky, preventing the effective use of Control-C, Control-V. Some of his better plagiarisms were run on the Today in Alternative History web site for a week of tributes.

~ entry by Steve Payne.

In 2002, RM Muleuch published Twelve Legions of Angels. Disgraced Air Marshall Hugh Dowding challenges the conventional wisdom that the Big Wing theory was doomed, asserting that a Battle of Britain could have been won.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Admiral Tirpitz	In 1991, on this day Robert K Massie published U Boat: Britain, Germany, and the Coming of the Great War. Massie begins with the birth of Queen Victoria, and follows the chronology of the royal families of Europe, culminating in the unification of Germany ..
.. by Bismarck and the crowning of Kaiser William II. With the stage set, Massie describes the series of people and events that contributed to the ultimate outbreak of war, including Alfred von Tirpitz and his ultimately successful plan to starve the British into defeat by sinking their convoys.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, on this day “The Dawn of Liberation” was published, containing Churchill's 1944 speeches on the road to victory, from "Preparation, Effort in Resolve” to "Hope for Victory” as part of the three volume definitive edition, “The War Speeches”. The events of “Churchill's Last Stand” ..	Winston Churchi..
.. are described in some detail. Churchill pinpoints the key moment as the creation of the State of Israel from the British Mandate in Palestine, an act which forged the alliance with Moshe Dayan's Hagannah forces. Heavily supported by Indian and Australian divisions, Bernard Montgomery created the first truly multinational army which triumphed over the Axis powers over the course of the next two glorious years.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Columbus	In 1923, Amerindian explorers had landed in Andalusia to find a fallen civilization. After a day's march, they discover the truth. When Cristoforo Colombo returned on March 15 1493, he and his men spread the Smallpox, typhus, influenza, diphtheria, measles, malaria, and other epidemics that had plagued them since first contact. ..
.. The pandemic had resulted in the depopulation of the continent.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1976, offices of the publisher Doubleday in New York City are closed by an executive order of President George Wallace and Vice President Curtis LeMay. Copies of “Roots: The Saga of an American Family” are seized just two hours before publication. Federal Agents commanded by Chief Investigator Oliver North order ..	Roots
.. staff at gunpoint to recall copies from retail outlets throughout America. In a televised speech that evening Wallace denies charges of Jim Crow censorship. Alleging that the book was a blatant copy of a work of fiction, “The African” by Harold Courlander, Wallace said he had a duty as President to prevent bicentennial celebrations planned for the following year to be ruined by a “cheap piece of plagiarism”.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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