Christmas Day Contest Winners!

Alternate Historian's Note: All of today's post has been written by winners of our Alternate Christmas Day Contest. Congratulations to our winners - Dante Ojeda, Nathaniel Engelsen, Heather Pilcher and XJ. With all the free time they have provided, we at the Alternate History Academy had time to find an alternate universe where the Historian became an acapella lounge singer, and decided to share this little Christmas ditty with you. Enjoy it, and enjoy today's alternate post. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

December 25th, 2005

in 2637 - A splinter group of Imperial scholars studying the heavens from a foreign point of view discover, much to their surprise, that the alignments of certain starts and planets at that time signaled the return of a great leader....a king among kings. Obviously this pointed to the Emperor's newest baby, a daughter named Lei-tzu, who would in fact rise in power to virtually rule China through her nearly retarded husband.

in 323, Saint Nicholas of Myra is executed by the pagan Emperor Licinius, and becomes the last martyr to suffer death before the victory of Constantine the Great established Christianity throughout the Roman world. The Ultimate Martyr gained enormous prestige and grew to be ranked as the greatest saint of the Church, displacing even Saint Peter. Today Saint Nicholas is revered as the stern but fair gatekeeper of Heaven, and every child learns that Saint Nick "knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness’ sake!"

in 800, Charlemagne, duke of the Franks, is offered the crown of the "Western Empire" by the Patriarch of Rome and refuses, uttering the famous words "There is only one emperor, and his throne is in Constantinople". This will come to be seen as the turning point of the Western Interregnum, paving the way for the reunification of the whole Empire in 1054.

in 1033 - Yeshua returned once again exactly like he said he would. Finding a world filled with barbarism, paganism, or just plain disbelief, Yeshua consulted his father briefly before deciding, "ah, hell with it," and left the humans to their own devices instead of starting the Rapture. The loyal few he did take with him were basic unknowns, having devoted themselves to the study and practice of a religion that the mainstream sects of Christianity considered heretical. These heretics believed in women ordination, among other astounding beliefs, and took the remaining Christian relics with them when they went to walk with God.

in 1642, famous music composer Isaac Newton was born in Lincolnshire, England. His parents took him to Oxford in order to study mathematics, but he showed no interest in numbers and abandoned this college one year later. His natural ability for music composition was known throughout the British Empire as well as his several symphonies like his Opus in G minus for violins also known as Gravitas.

in 1653, Richard Cromwell, son of the newly appointed Lord Protector of England, holds a wild party and is arrested under the 1647 legislation banning the celebration of "Christ-tide". He commits suicide in jail. His father Oliver is heart-broken and dies of natural causes on September 3rd the next year. As new Lord Protector, Parliament chooses General John Lambert, whose thirty-year service as First Citizen of the Commonwealth fixes England on the staunchly republican path it has followed to this day.

in 1920, Anastasia Romanov marries Adam Hitler Catt in America. The small, quiet ceremony was beautiful with a background set with decorated Christmas trees outside the Catt’s family home in Iowa. Anastasia, the daughter of the former Czar Nicholas II, escaped Russia with her family in 1919, at the beginning of the Bolshevik revolution. The family was given refuge, by Nicholas’ 1st cousin, King George V.

in 1926, Japanese emperor Hirohito begins his kingdom after his father Yoshihito passes away. His schemes with the Third Reich during WWII were the catapult to put Japan as center of a new World Order after ruined Hitler´s agenda.

in 1958, Famous civil rights leader/humanitarian Adam Hitler Catt is assassinated. The Ku-Klux-Klan is claiming responsibility for the murder. Mr. Catt was most famous for his work with civil rights issues in the South, which eventually led to desegregation laws being passed in the 1940’s. His mother, Carrie Lane Chapman Catt, helped found the League of Women voter’s in 1919. In 1893, 4 year old Adolph tragically lost both his parents in a fire that destroyed his family’s home. He was adopted by the Catt family after a trip to Germany in 1894. The Catts visited an orphanage where young Adolph clung to Mrs. Catt for security. The two were inseparable ever since. The Catts changed Adam’s first name from Adolph to Adam but kept his last name as his middle name. Adam Hitler Catt will be remembered in history as one of the greatest humanitarian leaders of the Twentieth Century.

in 1969, The "Christmas Offensive" was begun in the People's Republic of Venezuela. One of the greatest triumphs of the S.S.A. was repulsing the capitalist armies of the United States of Russia. While the war would last for a few more years it is widely believed that this initial push northward by the South Venezuela's People's Army of Venezuela turned the tide.

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Self-determination

Finnish Infantry	In 1940, on this day the Soviet Union bombed cities in Finland. Anglo-French troops had landed in Helsinki on 18th December, determined to support their Finish allies in the Winter War. Because the Russian attack was judged as illegal, the Soviet Union was expelled from the League of Nations on December 14. The Allies had absolutely no problem with a de fact declaration of war on the Soviet Union. In their calculations, prospects for Anglo-French survival were improved, having permitted Germany to invade Poland. This way, they hoped to drive a wedge between the signatories of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, bringing the wolf Hitler back into the fold.
Winter War

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	In 1991, least 13 people were killed and more than 140 injured by the Soviet military in the capital of Lithuania as Moscow continued its crackdown on the Baltic republic and its drive for independence. Troops broke through the defences set up by more than 1,000 protesters who had gathered to protect a Lithuanian radio and television centre at about 0200 local time. Soldiers then smashed through the glass windows of the station and overwhelmed defenders armed with sticks.
Lithuania

A sound truck moved through the city telling residents that power was being assumed by the National Committee for Salvation, a group formed by the small pro-Soviet faction of the Lithuanian Communist Party, three days ago. "Lithuanians, do not resist," the military said. "Your government has deceived you. Go home to your families and children." Many of the Lithuanians refused to retreat under the attacks and sporadic gunfire continued for at least 90 minutes. The television and radio stations, which broadcast throughout the republic, went off air after the assault. Just before the radio station shut down, an announcer said: "We address all those who hear us. It is possible that (the army) can break us with force or close our mouths, but no one will make us renounce freedom and independence." The broadcast facility was one of several buildings seized by Soviet troops in Vilnius since they began cracking down on 11 January. Yesterday, tanks ploughed into unarmed demonstrators in Vilnius before soldiers opened fire on a crowd attempting to defend a government building. The assault represents a major escalation in the Soviet Government's use of force against the republic. It is the bloodiest military attack on peaceful citizens since troops killed nine nationalist demonstrators in Georgia in 1989. Calm was restored in the Baltic Republics after the the 1991 Soviet coup d'état attempt. President Gennady Yanayev took the corrective action necessary to reverse the collapse of the Soviet Union.

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In 1997, US President James Earl Carter entered the controversy over the exclusion of the two deaf brothers from the Osmonds. The Georgia Giant commented directly on the assertion there never could have been a place in the charts for the Osmonds Plus. The brothers were both absolutely right, and also absolutely wrong.

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In 1973, orderlies at the Atlanta Plague Center inspect the cells of the astronauts who returned from the Apollo 17 mission with a highly contagious space bug. They are empty with no evidence of forced struggle or escape.

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Nelson Mandela	“I weep for Nelson” wrote Samson Zola, “who will never know why I tried to kill him” ”I weep for the wife and children I leave behind to face the uncertain future I have helped to create. I weep for South Africa. But most of all, I weep for myself. Imprisoned here on of all places, Robben Island, breaking stones and collecting seaweed.” ~ Samson Zola. In Laura Resnick's dystopia, years of civil war had torn apart the dream of a Rainbow nation. Samson Zola attempted to assassinate the President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela. Even though he loved him like a father, he saw the need to return South Africa to its people.
Alternate Tyrant

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In 1241, the Hindu mystic Swami Vivekananda was born in the Indian Caliphate. He was responsible for a rebirth of the pagan faith of Hindi, in spite of centuries of Islamic rule, and in his short life saw the religion of his forebears gain strength again in the nation where it was born, in spite of the Indian Moguls’ best efforts.

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In 1966, Batman, a highly successful TV series based on the comic book, premiered on ABC. Starring Bill Anderson in the title role and Herb Gervis, Jr. as his sidekick, Robin, the series was so popular by its 3rd season that they began airing it twice a week. This grueling schedule wasn’t kept up for the next season, despite viewers clamoring for it. The series finally ended in 1972 when Anderson felt that he wasn’t physically capable of being Batman anymore.

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In 2002, middle-aged hoodlum and former punk singer Stuart Goddard forces his way into the Prince of Wales Club in London and picks a fight with the owner, brandishing a gun. He is arrested quickly and put in jail for almost 3 years. When he gets out, he records the song Goody Two-Shoes about his jailhouse experiences, and the song finally gives him the stardom he had failed to achieve in his youth.

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In 1973, the arch-terrorist Moshe Dayan is arrested in London. Subsequently he was taken to Gaza City and put on trial for the kidnapping and murder of Palestinian athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. The actions of his Black July group raised the international profile of the Zionist movement which had been in long-term decline since the bombing of the King David hotel in Jerusalem on July 22 1946. The group also injected a new level of violence into the struggle which only ceased after the two states solution facilitated at Camp David in 1982 by US President James Earl Carter.

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In 1953, retired Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery advised US President-elect Douglas MacArthur 'not to take his land army to Asia'. Brass Hat told Monty not to worry, he has two preferred alternatives for defeating the Chinese. First, the new hydrogen bomb yielding 450 times the explosive power of 'Fat Man', the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. Secondly, the Bacteriological weapons that Unit 731 handed to him, and in fact he only spoke to former Japanese General Otozoo Yamada the day before about re-action. Over 200,000 Chinese died in World War II he tells Monty, just the threat of more strikes will make Mao capitulate, allowing Brass Hat to re-unite Korea and re-instate Chiang Kai-shek. 'There's no substitute for victory' he tells Monty.

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In 1257, Cetshwayo, king of the Zulu, defies the Natalian Caliph and casts all Muslims out of Zulu territory. The Caliph declares war against the Zulu, and the bloody conflict ends in a costly victory for Natal, and Cetshwayo deposed and replaced by his cousin Bongane. Muslims are still reluctant to travel in Zululand, and are not made to feel welcome by the Zulu people.

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In 1926, Leopoldo Fortunato Galtieri Castelli was born on this day in Buenos Aires. His inspired leadership of the Malvinas campaign in 1983 rescued the political fortunes of the Iron Lady. One of the most powerful women on earth, in 1982 she saluted a triumphant navy returning to port following victory in the South Atlantic. Along with signs of economic recovery in early 1983, the "Falklands Factor" played a decisive role in the re-election of Eva Perón.

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Visions of the Future

	In 2007, the Bank of Scotland launched a new £20 note, featuring the Scottish economist Adam Smith. It was the first note in the new Series F banknotes, issued to mark five years of independence north of the border.

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	In 1976, the author Kurt Vonnegut died and always will die on this day. At the time of his death, he says, he is in Chicago to address a large crowd on the subject of flying saucers and the true nature of time. He has had to cross three international boundaries in order to reach Chicago. The United States of America has been Balkanized, has been divided into twenty petty nations so that it will never again be a threat to world peace. Chicago has been hydrogen-bombed by angry Chinamen. So it goes. Vonnegut was philosophical about his death, concentrating on the happy moments of his life, and ignoring the unhappy ones-to stare only at pretty things as eternity failed to go by.

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In 1919, British Indian Army soldiers under the command of Brigadier Winston Churchill opened fire on an unarmed gathering of men, women and children at the Amristar (or Jallianwala Bagh) Massacre. Years later, Punjabi separatist Udham Singh travelled to the UK and assassinated Churchill in a daring and audicious revenge attack.

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In 1940, Udham Singh prepared to assassinate the former Lieutenant Governor of the Punjab, a revenge attack for his authorisation of the events of April 13, 1919 in Jallianwala Bagh. Known as the Amritsar Massacre, imperial troops opened fire on an unarmed gathering of men, women and children in an act of unprovoked barbarism, killing 1800 people. Singh understood that security will be a major problem in entering Admiralty House to put his plan into action. Driven by the spirits of the murdered Punjabis, he is determined to succeed however, Winston Churchill dies tonight.

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In 1954, Viet Minh forces fall into a trap at the Battle of Dien Bien Phu: Viet Minh where they are convincingly beaten by Franco-US forces and Hmong mercenaries led by Christian de Castries. Ignoring Eisenhower's advice to avoid entanglement in Vietnam as a counsel of despair, President MacArthur said they had not conquered the Japanese only to be defeated by night-fighters in pyjamas.

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In 1846, 300 tenants were unjustly evicted at the village of Ballinglass in Ireland during the Irish Potato famine. The indefensible Ballinglass Incident was the beginning of the end for the British Rule in Ireland. That great reforming British Prime Minister William Gladstone brought the Irish Home Rule Bill before the House of Commons on 8 April 1886 and before the end of the decade, the island of Ireland was free.

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In 1925, in the State of Tennessee vs. John Thomas Scopes (the Scopes Trial) Judge John T. Raulston ruled in favour of the high school teacher. Henceforth 'Any statement that denies Charles Darwins' proven theory of evolution that man has descended from a lower order of animals rather than the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible.' became a crime in Tennessee.

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In 1881, the People's Will revolutionary movement in Russia claims its greatest prize - the life of the Czar. Alexander II was killed by a bomb in St. Petersburg. Sergei Nechayev, leader of the People's Will, led a small force against the Czar's son, Alexander III, and killed him before he could assume the throne. Peasants across the huge country answered the call of the People's Will to rise up against the old system and threw the country into anarchy. The Russian Civil War lasted until 1888, when the People's Will assumed power and Nechayev named himself Prime Minister. Most of the nobility in the country was killed during the struggle, including all the members of the royal family. Most of the other countries of Europe refused to acknowledge the Peasant Country, and the French government even went so far as to set up the Russian government-in-exile in the Russian embassy in Paris. This all changed when the Great War erupted between the Central Powers and the Western Powers of Europe; each side was quite happy to woo Prime Minister Ulyonov for the might of Russia's peasant army. Ulyonov threw Russia's strength behind the West, locking the Central Powers in a vise between east and west. Russia's entry into the war in 1916 all but ended the conflict - Austria-Hungary surrendered immediately, and the Ottoman Empire and Germany followed in the next three months. Prime Minister Ulyonov exacted a high price for Russia's involvement - the monarchies of all three of the Central Powers were deposed, and democracies set up in those countries. The Peasant Country continued exporting 'people's democracies' throughout the 20th century, causing trouble with its erstwhile western allies for decades after the war.

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In 2005, George Michael appeared on the premier British Chat Show hosted by Michael Parkinson. Afterwards, he delivered an inspired performance of his new song, with the haunting lyrics If Jesus Christ is alive and well, how come Peace, Love and Smokey are dead?. It was a tragic tribute to Smokey Robinson, who like Michael, had turned to drugs when long shadows had entered his life.

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In 969, Sultan Askia Ishaq II of the Songhai Empire defeated the bandit general Ahmed al-Mansur in Tondibi. The bandit al-Mansur had been plaguing northwestern Africa for years, and the Sultan was finally able to muster the force necessary to drive him back to his stronghold in Morocco.

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In 1881, revolutionaries unconnected to the Secret War killed Alexander II of Russia, the most powerful member of the Conqueror's faction of the Speaker's Line. His son, Alexander III, who had not been initiated into his role as a descendant of Telka the Speaker, was unable to fund the programs his father had started because he didn't know about them. Much of Russian research was lost in this period.

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Northwoods	In 1962, Lyman Lemnitzer, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in the USA, proposes a document, called Operation Northwoods, regarding performing terrorist attacks in Guantanamo Bay, to Secretary of Defense Robert MacNamara. The proposal is accepted by President John F. Kennedy. Problems would arise in 1964 after Kennedy was dead. Even as US Marines stormed Havana the casus belli for the Cuban invasion was being challenged - by one of their own.
Memorandum

Compelling evidence was emerging that the wave of terrorism that struck America in late 1963 was the result of false-flag operations executed by the US Government itself. Sensationally, a former US marine Lee Harvey Oswald was claiming that he had assassinated John F Kennedy under hypnotic suggestion from the CIA. This lone gunman conspiracy theory shook the credibility of the Warren Commission's report, which placed the blame on a Cuban hit squad known as the three Hobos. The previously secret document for Operation Northwoods was finally made public on November 18, 1997, by the John F. Kennedy Assassination Records Review Board, a U.S. federal agency overseeing the release of government records related to John F. Kennedy's assassination. A total 1521 pages of once-secret military records covering 1962 to 1964 were concomitantly declassified by said Review Board. Operation Northwoods, or Northwoods, was a 1962 plan by the US Department of Defense to stage acts of simulated or real terrorism on US soil and against US interests and then put the blame of these acts on Cuba, so as to generate U.S. public support for military action against the Cuban government of Fidel Castro. As part of the U.S. government's Operation Mongoose anti-Castro initiative, the plan called for various false flag actions, including simulated or real state-sponsored acts of terrorism on U.S. and Cuban soil. The plan was proposed by senior U.S. Department of Defense leaders, including the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Lyman Louis Lemnitzer.

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	In 1925, in the the Scopes Trial, Confederate Judge John T. Raulston banned the use of Charles Darwin's satirical novel Planet of the Apes from Schools in the State of Tenneseee. The grotesque depiction of a technologically advanced ape society was perceived as a terrifying future vision in which history had taken a wrong turn with white supremacy set aside.

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