Today In Alternate History [Archived]: Search results for Lebanon

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Friday, September 16, 2005

Torquemada In Hell; Nixon Gets Socked

September 16th, 2005

in 1524, Tomas de Torquemada, High Inquisitor, is approached by a man dressed entirely in red while meeting with the Pope. This man claims to have possession of Torquemada’s soul, and in full view of many priests, bishops, cardinals and His Holiness, is dragged by the man in red into a flaming hole that appears in the floor.

in 1845, after the implementation of the doctrine of blood atonement on the hapless Mormon practioner Phineas Wilcox, Latter-Day Saints across Illinois begin making others “atone” for their sins in a bloody spree that lasts four weeks. Although repudiated by the leaders of the Mormon Church, the small sect of Atoners continues to exist in the shadow of the main church through the 20th century.

in 1920, Enrico Caruso recorded his first album for Edison Records, Thomas Edison’s record company. Edison himself had negotiated the deal which brought Caruso in, because of the enormous prestige the greatest singer in the world could give to his company. Unfortunately, Caruso’s first record with Edison was also his last, as he died a few days later.

in 1924, iconic actress Betty Joan Perske was born in the Bronx, New York. Her on and off-screen relationship with husband Humphrey Bogart produced some of the most memorable lines in film myth, such as, “You know how to whistle, don’t you? You put your lips together and blow.”

in 1940, Communist Representative Bill Munro of Texas became the Speaker of the House. He held this position until he retired from his seat in 1962 to teach at the University of Texas. Comrade Munro was responsible for Texas’ leading role in electronics, space travel and computers.

in 1949, German Reich forces in Lebanon massacre the civilians of Sabra and Shatila. This area becomes a jump point for the attack on the holy land itself; by Christmas, they control Jerusalem, and are moving forces into position to take Mecca.

in 1968, attempting to show his lighter side to the voters, Republican presidential candidate Richard Nixon appears on the comedy-variety show Laugh-In, voicing their stock line, “Sock it to me.” After he loses the election, Nixon decides to leave politics. His fun with the Laugh-In crowd leads him to pursue television production, and he produces several hit series in the 70’s, such as Charlie’s Angels and M*A*S*H.

in 1982, Israeli forces intercept their erstwhile allies, Lebanese Phalangists, as they move threateningly towards the Palestinian refugee camp at Sabra, Lebanon. It proves to be a wise move, as another company of the Christian militia massacres the Palestinians at Shatila, Lebanon. Shocked Israelis demand the withdrawal of their invading force from Lebanon.

in 2002, the two hairy men who were able to break into President Bush’s office in the White House are escorted by Secret Service agents to NASA, where they speak with the administrator for several hours. At the end of the day, they are driven back to the White House, where they stay the night.

in 2004, Dr. Emilio Carrera is placed on board the ELS-1 and taken off earth to keep him safe, hopefully, from the Elders while President Gore negotiates with them. During the talks, Washington is evacuated; none too soon, because the Elders show their dissatisfaction with Gore’s actions by destroying the city. Dr. Carrera and the crew of ELS-1 work on adapting his device to make it work from their ship.

TIAH HALLOWEEN CONTEST

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Also, we still have our standard offer - everybody who donates $10 or more through our Paypal link will become alternate history entries on the site. When you donate, I will email you asking your preference for a day & timeline; if you don't reply to me, I'll place you in a day that seems to fit your name :) Thanks for your continued support!

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Warp and Protocols still available; also, see the script I submitted for Bravo's Situation: Comedy. Speaking of which, the winning writers have been announced; not the ones I voted for, but you can make up your own mind by seeing the pilots at http://aol.com/situationcomedy

Still wishing...

As your humble alternate historian enters the downhill slope of the 40's, he still has his birthday wish - a contract with a publishing company like Workman Publishing to produce a page-a-day calendar of TIAH. If you are an editor for such a company, or can place us in touch with one, please fulfill this belated birthday wish!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Powhattan Massacre; Loyalty Oaths For The Feds

ALTERNATE HISTORIAN'S NOTE: Please send us entries for our next contest, which will be an Alternate April Fool's Day, April 1st, 2006. Just send us the entries for now - we'll decide on a deadline later. (Contest rules) And, another cool thing - Let us know where you are on Frappr!

March 22nd, 2006

in 12-0-3-10-1, the Powhattan of the northeastern coastal possessions of the Ouezteca massacre a settlement of the Oueztec that has been stealing water and food from them for several months. The overwhelming response from Ouezteca destroys the Powhattan.

in 1887, world-famous pianist Leonard Marx was born in New York City. Young Leonard started in vaudeville in his youth, but left it for the legitimate concert stage after discovering his natural talent for the piano in his twenties. He never took a lesson, but was considered the greatest musician of his age.

in 1908, noted classical scholar Louis L’Amour was born in Jamestown, North Dakota. After struggling in school during his teen years, a teacher introduced L’Amour to the plays of Aeschylus and a lifelong love of Greek and Roman work was born. His popular book, The Origins Of The West, is still used a text in Classics courses taught across the country.

in 1942, Sir Stanford Cripps of the British government-in-exile meets with Indian terrorist Mohandas Gandhi to recruit his help against the German Underground. Although Gandhi despises the G.U., he is unwilling to assist the British, and the meeting ends without producing a treaty.

in 1945, talks between Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Transjordan, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Yemen break down in negotiations to form a league of Arab nations. Lebanon proves the standout member as its Christian ambassador provoked hostility among the Muslim representatives of the other nations.

in 1947, at the height of the White Scare, Comrade President William Foster issues an executive order forcing all federal employees to take a loyalty oath to the Soviet States of America and to the socialist way in general. Although it is a gross violation of federal employees’ civil rights, the nation is in such a panic about capitalist infiltration that few protests are heard.

in 1993, American forces smash through Iceland. Constitutionalist President Ralph Shephard warns that Europe will be next in his speech congratulating the soldiers; “Today, Iceland, tomorrow, the world.”

in 2004, the Sheridans manage to modify their Martian nanovirus enough to kill the few captive Titanian organisms they have in their lab. Jacob Sheridan informs the Australian army that they have a means to kill the Titanian organisms currently impersonating methane crabs on Australia’s shores.

in 2005, as Dave Lange draws back to hack off Dr. R.D. Reilly's right hand, the philosopher tells him, “Wait.” He is willing to make a deal with the Save Earthers, if they will let him keep his hands and let him go. He will give them evidence of the Claws entanglement with the government. The Langes and other SE members in the house discuss whether it would be worth making a deal with Reilly.

Timelines in today's post: the Oueztecan timeline, Communist America, the GZR, the Ralph Shephard timeline, The Sheridans and The Claw.

Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect Duck Soup to Star Trek. Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Visitors Oratorio; Success Against An Elder

September 14th, 2005

in 1741, George Fredric Handel completed his oratorio The Visitors, celebrating the arrival of the Mlosh on earth. It sparks a wealth of popular fiction about earth’s newest inhabitants, and also makes many people begin to ask the question the Mlosh had never answered – where did they come from, and why did they leave?

in 1812, with his Grand Armee poised to take Moscow, French Emperor Napoleon sent word to Tsar Alexander that he was willing to withdraw his troops from Russia if Russia would accept the French Continental System, which united all of continental Europe economically and isolated his British enemies. Tsar Alexander, seeing the ruin of his own empire, agreed, and joined with Napoleon, dooming the British economy.

in 1847, American General Winfield Scott destroys all his Mexican opposition and takes Mexico City, ending the war between the United States and Mexico. When President Polk appoints Scott the military governor of Mexico, Scott turns it into his own little empire; in 1852, he even declares Mexico independent of the U.S. and fights off American troops sent to retrieve him. He died at the hands of a Mexican nationalist 7 years later, plunging America’s southern neighbor into chaos.

in 1960, Pascal-Edison introduces the Self-Portrait operating system, designed to learn and mirror a user’s personality. It proved to be less than successful because the designers didn’t take into account the fact that many computer users were not exactly pleasant people.

in 1956, Comrade Senator Joel Rosenberg makes his great speech at Harvard People’s University in which he asks the comrades of the Soviet States of America to “think not what your comrades can do for you; but what you can do for your comrades.” It became another piece of his legend as he campaigned for the presidency.

in 1978, ABC premiered the television series Mork & Mindy, a spinoff from the successful series Happy Days, starring comedian Marty Fromage. Although Fromage was hailed as a genius, the series tanked when he couldn’t be controlled and kept improvising away from the script. It ended mid-season, as did the rest of Fromage’s career.

in 2002, two very hairy men arrive at the bus depot in Washington, D.C., and begin walking towards the White House. Surprised at the security measures they find there, they ask a few locals about it; when told it’s because of September 11th, they seem to not know what happened on that day. The two men find a small motel for the night.

in 1402, Prime Minister Bashir Gemayal, the right hand of Lebanon’s Caliph Rafiq Hariri, narrowly escaped assassination by Druse fanatics in the streets of Beirut. At his urging, the Caliph began purging Druse from the political and social life of Lebanon, making the small sect even more marginal among the Lebanese.

in 2004, President Gore, Dr. Emilio Carrera, and a handful of security men meet with Elder representative Ako Elma, the dark-skinned woman who had been the first to broadcast the Elder’s greetings to earth. Dr. Carrera has his jamming technology hidden in the Oval Office and activates it as soon as the group is shut in. Ako Elma appears uncomfortable for a moment, then screams and seems to dissolve into a grey goo. This goo is collected by Carrera for study; the first test of his device appears successful.

TIAH HALLOWEEN CONTEST

Forum Link - Boring legal info on the TIAH Halloween Contest!
Fresh New Poll - Shall we use future dates in our entries?

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Marx Is Born In NYC; Arab League Talks Break Down

March 22nd, 2005

in 12-0-3-10-1, the Powhattan of the northeastern coastal possessions of the Ouezteca massacre a settlement of the Oueztec that has been stealing water and food from them for several months. The overwhelming response from Ouezteca destroys the Powhattan.

in 1887, world-famous harpist Leonard Marx was born in New York City. Young Leonard started in vaudeville in his youth, but left it for the legitimate concert stage after discovering his natural talent for the harp in his twenties. He never took a lesson, but was considered the greatest musician of his age.

in 1908, noted classical scholar Louis L’Amour was born in Jamestown, North Dakota. After struggling in school during his teen years, a teacher introduced L’Amour to the plays of Aeschylus and a lifelong love of Greek and Roman work was born. His popular book, The Origins Of The West, is still used a text in Classics courses taught across the country.

in 1942, Sir Stanford Cripps of the British government-in-exile meets with Indian terrorist Mohandas Gandhi to recruit his help against the German Underground. Although Gandhi despises the G.U., he is unwilling to assist the British, and the meeting ends without producing a treaty.

in 1945, talks between Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Transjordan, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Yemen break down in negotiations to form a league of Arab nations. Lebanon proves the standout member as its Christian ambassador provoked hostility among the Muslim representatives of the other nations.

in 1947, at the height of the White Scare, Comrade President William Foster issues an executive order forcing all federal employees to take a loyalty oath to the Soviet States of America and to the socialist way in general. Although it is a gross violation of federal employees’ civil rights, the nation is in such a panic about capitalist infiltration that few protests are heard.

in 1993, American forces smash through Iceland. Constitutionalist President Ralph Shephard warns that Europe will be next in his speech congratulating the soldiers; “Today, Iceland, tomorrow, the world.”

in 2004, the Sheridans manage to modify their Martian nanovirus enough to kill the few captive Titanian organisms they have in their lab. Jacob Sheridan informs the Australian army that they have a means to kill the Titanian organisms currently impersonating methane crabs on Australia’s shores.

Forum Link - Announcement about our impending new historian! :)

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Protocols of the Elders of Zion, part 1, is now available for download - and we're giving it away! Check it out, and you can get Warp while you're at it!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Division

	In 1952, on this day Princess Elizabeth proclaimed herself Queen, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith in a ceremony at Rideau Hall, the Governor's Residence in Ottawa. The proclaimation was met with a cool response from London. Prime Minister Oswald Mosley had made common cause with continental fascists Mussolini of Italy, Franco of Spain and Hitler of Germany during his premiership, but where they were all gone by the end of the decade, Mosley's rule of Britain had only begun.

The death of King George VI was a potential catalist to perhaps end the dynastic crisis in the British monarchy.

Ironically the Queen's Uncle, King Edward VIII had been forced to abdicate having married an American divorcee, Wallace Simpson. He returned from the Governorship of the Bahamas as the titular Head of a Nazi Client State when the remainder of the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha fled to the Americas during Operation Sealion in 1940. Of German origin themselves, the British Royal Family traced their routes to the House of Wettin in Saxony. This dynasty of German counts, dukes, prince-electors (Kurfürsten) and kings ruled the area of today's German state of Saxony for more than 800 years as well as holding at times the kingship of Poland. Agnates of the House of Wettin have, at various times, ascended the thrones of Great Britain, Portugal, Bulgaria, Poland, Saxony, and Belgium.

In 1952, Juan Escobar, a man who has made a small living studying the paranormal in Mexico and eastern Europe, hears of the destruction of a small diner in Bryan, Texas by a tall, dark German man. He has heard of this man before, the Baron von Todt, and immediately travels to Texas to find him.

Devils Footprints	In 1855, the Devil's Footprints mysteriously appear in southern Devon with the contemporaneous sightings of Spring Heeled Jack, a mysterious figure known for his extraordinary jumps. Jack was described by alleged victims as having a terrifying and frightful appearance, with diabolical physiognomy that included clawed hands and eyes that resembled red balls of fire. He was finally trapped in the East End of London where he was captured for the Whitechapel Murders of 1888 and later executed at the Tower of London.

Spring Heeled Jack

In 1974, the temporary American space station Skylab returns to earth after 84 days in space. The crew included a stowaway, the alien intelligence known as the Avatar who quickly establishes a global tyranny.

In 9816 BCE, Egyptian taskmasters, looking for a way to keep their slaves both happy and nourished, concoct a beverage that is essentially liquid fermented bread, from grains, yeast and water. Slaves cannot stomach the bitter, foul drink, and the recipe is lost to time.

In 1692, Abigail Williams and Betty Paris uncover a coven of witches within the community of Salem, Massachusetts. For their great service to the crown, they are made Royal Witch-Hunters for the colony on reaching their majority. Through their diligence, hundreds of witches are driven from Massachusetts.

In 1914, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien began working on the Middle-earth stories. A good deal was written while Tolkien, then a British officer returned from France during World War I, was laid up in a military hospital and at home with trench fever. Truth be told, Tolkien's imagination was over-stimulated by the horror of the Somme. In escapist fantasy writing, Tolkien's inner hero struggled to restore his own dissipated life force.

And when the tidings came of the fall of Gondolin, .. Morgoth [Tolkien's fear] though that his triumph was fulfilled, recking little of [Tolkien].. and he called upon them to forgive them, and rescue them back from the overmastering might of Morgoth and win back the Silmarils [Life Force].

~ Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin

In 1725, Pyotr the Great, last Tsar of Russia, died in captivity in Istanbul. He had been captured during a war with the Ottoman Empire in 1710, and held in disgrace ever since. His death finally quieted loyalists who had been attempting to overthrow the Ottomans and restore him to his throne.

In 1777, Major Timothy Bigelow of the American rebels is recaptured, just 6 months after being released from a prisoner-of-war camp. The Massachusetts blacksmith is put to the death by the British as an example to other colonials. Many men from Bigelow's regiment joined the growing exodus to Canada, to join the nascent independence movement there.

In 1802, the banjo clock is patented by Simon Willard of Massachusetts. This phenomenally successful product led to other musical instruments being made into clocks; antique guitar clocks from this era often sell for thousands of dollars at auctions.

In 12-13-12-5-8, Emperor Calzotz allows the conquered northern nations to use their land in their traditional ways, instead of assigning nobles to rule over them. This act of mercy pays off for Ouezteca in reduced rebellions, and is continued by his successors.

In 1998, on this day John Enoch Powell died in Canada and entered Valhalla. Powell's apocalyptic warnings of Rivers of Blood had proven all too prescient. The Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher had sent an elite force of Royal Marines and Paratroopers to cauterize the Channel Tunnel. Before the bomb could be detonated at Sangatte, the British position was overrun by vampires. Held at bay since 1917, the Red Menace finally swept into Britain. Powell escaped to Canada where his advice and guidance was desperately needed by a terrified Canadian government.

Ariel Sharon	In 1983, on this day Generals Ariel Sharon - better known as the terrorist Arik - and Rafael Eitan of the Zionist Liberation Army were sentenced to death. The court found that Mr Sharon was indirectly but personally to blame for the massacres of more than 800 people in the Sabra and Shatila villages near Beirut in 1982. ZLA terrorists were in control of west Beirut when right-wing Christian militias entered the villages. The Lebanese Phalangist militia acted within the wider context of the Jewish-Christian consipiracy to strike the State of Palestine by destabilising the Northern border. The Phalange leader, Bashir Gemayel was still at liberty in the Lebanon.

Terrorist Arik

The Court's report said Mr Sharon had made a 'grave mistake' by failing to order 'appropriate measures for preventing or reducing the danger of massacre of innocents'. It concluded that Sharon should have foreseen what the Phalange would do when they entered the villages. Mr Sharon's defence lawyer said that because he had no knowledge of what would happen when ZLA irregular troops allowed the militia into the camps, he could not be held to account.

The report also condemned Zionist General Rafael Eitan for breach of the Geneva convention in not taking steps to stop the massacre. It said he should have anticipated the danger and opposed the decision to send militia into the villages. Also criticised was ZLA President Menachim Begin, dismissing the argument that the Zionists could not be held directly accountable.

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