Monstrous

In 388, a ten year old boy named Cyrill died in the Roman City of Alexandria. His Uncle Theophilus discovered strange alphabet formations in the dwelling. Soon he too would be victim, but of a more powerful force - Nestorianism which was spreading like wildfire out of Constantinople.

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Balrog	In 1892, the scholarly giant of modern England, John R. R. Tolkien, was born in Bloemfontein, South Africa. His escapist fantasy writing was greatly influenced by combat tension suffered as a Second Lieutenant in 1916. Whilst Tolkien was with the eleventh battalion of the Lancashire Fusiliers, this tension reached a new and frightening level of intensity for Tolkien as his imagination was over-stimulated by the horror of the Somme. At night, he saw that most frightening of creatures charging across no-mans land. A creature of the imagination which he would never speak directly. Only W.H. Auden would guess at the depiction of the 1916 apparition. Later in the year, Tolkien was invalided with trench fever. And it was as this time he was gripped by the epic struggle, as Gandalf battled a Balrog, an ancient demon creature, and fell into a deep chasm under the Mines of Moria, apparently to his death.
Tolkiens Phantasm

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In 1967, Jack Ruby's cancer went into remission, allowing him to be placed on trial for the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald. From the stand, Ruby spun a story of conspiracy, deception and treason, and the judge was forced to place a gag order on news from the trial. When the courtroom blew up the next day, it was blamed on a “gas leak” under the courthouse.

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In 1521, German monk Martin Luther was excommunicated by Pope Henry VIII of the Holy British Empire. Brother Martin was disgusted with the corruption of the British Papacy, and nailed a series of theses on his local church door, enumerating and protesting the wickedness of the English Church. Pope Henry, who had never been one to tolerate protestants, excommunicated then executed Brother Martin.

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In 2006, International Visit Today In Alternate History Day receives the unwelcome attention of most security agencies in North America. In a deft manoerve, Reverend Rattie reports that “Apparently, when you post before turning off your feed, your post appears on the feed anyway. So much for our vaunted computer skills.” Within the CIA, older hands suspect that Rattie was attempting to understate the real number of online alt-lifers.

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In 1892, the scholarly giant of modern England, John R. R. Tolkien, was born in Bloemfontein, South Africa. At Oxford, Tolkien penned some of the greatest literary criticisms of the 20th century, delving into the mythic roots of Beowulf, the legends of King Arthur, the Germanic and Celtic influences in English literature, and dozens of other subjects. In recent years, his son Christopher published a few of the bed time stories Tolkien wrote for his children, of which the most famous are his Father Christmas stories. There has even been talk of making a movie of these stories, although no one really expects they would be very popular.

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In 4620, Egyptologist and adventurer Luo Gan discovers the ancient tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen, and its hideous curse. Over the next five years, he and the twenty members of his team die gruesome deaths. Although most dismiss this as mere coincidence, the Imperial Ministry of Antiquities has forbade further digging into ancient Egypt’s past.

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In 12-17-10-5-15, Pachacamac, Incan musicians famed throughout the Empire, give their first performance before the emperor at Oueztec City. The music of the sweet mountains of their birth lofted throughout the court, bringing smiles and tears to the assembled courtiers. The emperor himself is so moved by their performance that he ennobles them all.

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In 1977, the number one computer company in the world, Apple Computers, was incorporated by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in California. From humble beginnings as a machine for hobbyists, Apple computers soon made their way onto desktops in businesses and homes around the world with the introduction of the Macintosh line of computers. They might have stumbled in the 80’s when IBM’s operating system supplier, Microsoft, made a graphical interface to match the Macintosh, but a successful lawsuit against the company crushed that dream.

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Silmarillion	In 1914, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien began working on the Middle-earth stories. A good deal was written while Tolkien, then a British officer returned from France during World War I, was laid up in a military hospital and at home with trench fever. Truth be told, Tolkien's imagination was over-stimulated by the horror of the Somme. In escapist fantasy writing, Tolkien's inner hero struggled to restore his own dissipated life force.

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In 1947, the pederast Thomas Edward Lawrence was exposed in the Times newspaper following evidence of an inappropriate relationship with a fourteen year-old Arab boy, Selim Ahmed in 1914.

A clue was carefully hidden in Chapter 2, of Seven Pillars of Wisdom which describes homoerotic behaviour "quivering together in the yielding sand, with intimate hot limbs in supreme embrace." The book itself is dedicated to "S.A." with a poem that begins: "I loved you, so I drew these tides of men into my hands and wrote my will across the sky in stars To gain you Freedom, the seven-pillared worthy house, that your eyes might be shining for me When I came.", which had previously been considered a reference to Saudi Arabia, the chosen name of Abdul-Aziz bin Saud's Republic that was eventually founded in 1932.

Shortly afterwards, Lawrence was stripped of meritous awards that he had received after the war - Companion in the Order of the Bath, Distinguished Service Order, French Légion d'Honneur and Knight Commander of the British Empire which he received in October 1918.

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April Fool's Day

Here are the winning entries for our April Fool's Day Contest - thanks to everyone who entered, and look for their credits at the end of the post! Now to enjoy the luxury of not having to write something today...

April 1st, 2006

in 291 rotations past the cresting of the Great Star, a member of the Culture Ministry, his name lost to time, decided that particular day should be dedicated to playing tricks, pranks, and perpetrating well-intentioned deceit on friends and family members. The activity went off well, and the balefully amused associates admitted it would be a fine idea to, in the future, designate that particular day for such fun. Unfortunately, the idiosyncratic calendar-keeping in effect amongst the People meant that waiting for the next day of Third Phase of Primary Moon, First Phase of Distant Moon, 189 Days from the Counting of the Census, 21 Days until the Elections of the Royal Arbiters, 3001 Days until the Coming of the Long-Tailed Comet would be so distant it is doubtful it could have been calculated in their lifetime

In 1883, horror film actor Len Chaney is born. Known for his unchanging expression and occasionally wooden delivery, he was called "The Great Stone Face."

in 1950, the Hollywood Stars of the Pacific Coast League debuted a new baseball uniform: shorts above the knees, rayon T-shirts, and knee-high socks. It was meant as a joke, but after winning the game, the team decided to keep them for a while. After winning eight of their first nine games, they decided to use them for the rest of the season. The Stars went on to tie the Oakland Oaks in the standings at the end of the season, and the Stars won the three-game playoff two games to none. The next season, seven of the eight teams in the PCL started the season with short uniforms (the Portland Beavers held out until June before finally succumbing), and the look was adopted by teams in other leagues, including the Brooklyn Dodgers. The influence of the Stars and the PCL eventually led to the PCL becoming the third major league in 1958, after unsuccessful attempts by Brooklyn and the New York Giants to move west.

in 1957, the BBC airs a documentary about Swiss spaghetti trees on its Panorama programme. After the broadcast, many British restaurants acquired their own spaghetti trees and now it is possible to determine how good a restaurant's pasta will be just by the look of their spaghetti trees.

In 1976, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne found Apple Computers. Apple has since gone on to become one of the biggest and powerful computer companies in the world, although there have been monopoly allegations and government antitrust suits.

In 1997, news reporters everywhere report of an alien invasion; this is dismissed as an April Fool's Day prank by the public, until the fearsome ships of the Ralv Shera Dowan fleet begin attacking major cities.

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In 2004, in a rare case of fiction turning into truth, the People's Electronic Mail Initiative (PEMI) was unveiled to the general public. The ambitious government-run project aimed to provide every worker
with an electronic mail account, using massive server farms located in the California Soviet. Coincidentally, a prank press release several years prior had alluded to a similar project which it had dubbed "G-mail" (for "Government Mail"); it was by this name that PEMI became more widely known.

Thanks and congratulations to all of our April Fool's Winners – Eric & Laura Gjovaag, Mamoru Bii, Jake Dominguez, Max Liebersohn and GamerGrrl!

Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect Slaughter High AKA April Fool's Day to Star Trek. Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.

Get yourself into TIAH!

The Forum lives again!

Good long fiction from the AH.

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My email address for contacting me with your good news, or for more direct goodness, go to the web site and leave a comment, buy a book, or leave a Paypal donation! Remember, it's only 6 degrees of separation between you and anyone else - and thanks again!

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IVTIAHD; Luther's Excommunication, Apple's Incorporation

ALTERNATE HISTORIAN'S NOTE: It's International Visit Today In Alternate History Day! Just for today's post, the feed has been turned off in an effort to encourage everyone who reads us through one of the various feeds to come to the site so we can find out how many of you there are. While you're here, we'd actually like to encourage you to use the Feedburner feed on the side of the page to read us via the RSS feed reader of your choice. That way, we can have a clearer picture of how many of you there are. To sweeten the deal, everyone who comments on IVTIAHD on our Forums will be entered into a drawing to get their own alternate history entry! Thanks for participating in IVTIAHD, and the feed will be turned back on with tomorrow's post!
PS - we would really appreciate it if you nominated us for one of these.

January 3rd, 2006

in 47,391 BCE, after a year of walking, Telka the Speaker stands at the southeastern Asian shore and ponders a way across the ocean. Swikolay, her great-granddaughter and traveling companion, has an idea for going out into the waters. She hollows out a tree and they ride it into the South Pacific.

in 902, the wizard Atticus enters Merlin's place of power.

in 1521, German monk Martin Luther was excommunicated by Pope Henry VIII of the Holy British Empire. Brother Martin was disgusted with the corruption of the British Papacy, and nailed a series of theses on his local church door, enumerating and protesting the wickedness of the English Church. Pope Henry, who had never been one to tolerate protestants, excommunicated then executed Brother Martin.

in 1804, during the Irish War of Independence, Agent K’Tan’Jir of British Intelligence captures an Irish Mlosh agent, Pri’Kato’Mli. Although the Irish agent manages to escape, K’Tan’Jir has placed a tracking device on him, and uses him to find the base that he has been operating out of. With his young assistant, James Watson, K’Tan’Jir storms the base, only to find that he has been outfoxed – Pri’Kato’Mli had over a hundred rebels with him. The two British agents barely manage to escape with their lives.

in 1889, deep in the woods of Michigan, Mikhail von Heflin encounters a creature that the natives call a Wendigo. It is an extra-dimensional beast that can see what he really is and attacks him out of fear. He manages to escape from it, and flees to the south.

in 1892, the scholarly giant of modern England, John R. R. Tolkien, was born in Bloemfontein, South Africa. At Oxford, Tolkien penned some of the greatest literary criticisms of the 20th century, delving into the mythic roots of Beowulf, the legends of King Arthur, the Germanic and Celtic influences in English literature, and dozens of other subjects. In recent years, his son Christopher published a few of the bed time stories Tolkien wrote for his children, of which the most famous are his Father Christmas stories. There has even been talk of making a movie of these stories, although no one really expects they would be very popular.

in 4620, Egyptologist and adventurer Luo Gan discovers the ancient tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen, and its hideous curse. Over the next five years, he and the twenty members of his team die gruesome deaths. Although most dismiss this as mere coincidence, the Imperial Ministry of Antiquities has forbade further digging into ancient Egypt’s past.

in 1961, the Soviet States of America severs its diplomatic and economic ties with the Caribbean island nation of Cuba after it reorganized its economy along European lines and strengthened its ties with the Eastern powers. “The West cannot tolerate a reactionary nation so close to our borders,” Comrade President Rosenberg declared, “and so, we will take the steps necessary to punish those who leave the Community of Trade for the oppression of capitalism.”

in 12-17-10-5-15, Pachacamac, Incan musicians famed throughout the Empire, give their first performance before the emperor at Oueztec City. The music of the sweet mountains of their birth lofted throughout the court, bringing smiles and tears to the assembled courtiers. The emperor himself is so moved by their performance that he ennobles them all.

in 1967, Jack Ruby's cancer went into remission, allowing him to be placed on trial for the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald. From the stand, Ruby spun a story of conspiracy, deception and treason, and the judge was forced to place a gag order on news from the trial. When the courtroom blew up the next day, it was blamed on a “gas leak” under the courthouse.

in 1977, the number one computer company in the world, Apple Computers, was incorporated by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in California. From humble beginnings as a machine for hobbyists, Apple computers soon made their way onto desktops in businesses and homes around the world with the introduction of the Macintosh line of computers. They might have stumbled in the 80’s when IBM’s operating system supplier, Microsoft, made a graphical interface to match the Macintosh, but a successful lawsuit against the company crushed that upstart.


Timelines in today's post: the Speaker, the Holy British Empire, the Mlosh, Communist America, the Chinese Empire and von Heflin.

Yet another AHN - today's post has something a little different about it. In addition to a link to a long-form entry and the real timeline source of 2 alternate entries, at the bottom of the post you will find links to the ongoing timelines that are written about in this post. This is extraordinarily time-consuming, so give us some comments about it to let us know if you would like us to continue doing that.

We still have our standard offer - everybody who donates $10 or more through our Paypal link will become alternate history entries on the site. When you donate, I will email you asking your preference for a day & timeline; if you don't reply to me, I'll place you in a day that seems to fit your name :) Thanks for your continued support!

The Forum lives again! My esteemed Co-Historian has brought the forum back to life, and in spite of the issues we've had with the forum in the past, we think that this time, it'll stay up!
Fresh New Poll - Shall we use future dates in our entries?

Warp and Protocols still available; also, see the script I submitted for Bravo's Situation: Comedy. Speaking of which, the winning writers have been announced; not the ones I voted for, but you can see the one I did at http://www.marktreitel.com

Help the Alternate Historian get a better day job!
My email address for contacting me with your good news, or for more direct goodness, go to the web site and leave a comment, buy a book, or leave a Paypal donation! Remember, it's only 6 degrees of separation between you and anyone else - and thanks again!