Happy Father's Day To The AH

The state of TIAH

June 18th, 2006

Alternate Historian's Note: Today is Father's Day in the US, so this new father is going to kick back and watch some World Cup action today (Go Soccaroos! Kick butt, Croatia!). For your own entertainment, I leave you with these Classic TIAH ™ entries...

in 1178, an explosion is seen on the moon by 5 Canterbury monks. Believing that this heralds the end of the world, they flee the monastery and exhort all about them to pray for deliverance. Within a week, all of England is paralyzed with fear of the end, and mass suicides begin happening across the country.

in 3874, Emperor Xiaozong Shen saw a star attack the moon, and the moon glow as bright as day for a moment. This vision seized him, and he summoned his royal astronomers. “Bend all your will towards getting us there,” he told them, pointing at the moon. “The Heavens must be ours.” It took over 700 years, but the vision of the emperors never wavered. Even as they controlled the earth, they knew that their destiny lay among the heavens.

in 556, a group of shepherds saw Allah smite the moon with a stone from his sling. They immediately ran to their Caliph and told him what they had seen, and he pondered the meaning of this for many days. He then sent messengers to other Caliphs, and they agreed that Allah was telling them that moon-worshipers would not enter paradise. A sense of responsibility for the men around them required them to strike out and convert all the pagans to the true worship of Allah.

in 1815, Napoleon defeated the allied forces of Britain, Belgium, Germany and Holland in the Battle of Waterloo, in Belgium. The emperor’s defeat of the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher, commander of the Prussian forces, was so crushing that the Austrian and Russian armies, arriving late to the battle, immediately retreated to their respective countries on seeing the carnage. France continued to dominate the continent until the emperor’s death in 1821.

in 1921, Thomas Edison unveils his latest invention; an electric car. The Jove can run for over 100 miles between recharges, and can achieve speeds of up to 35 miles per hour. Edison begins working with dozens of cities to establish public recharge stations for the Joves; (with power supplied by Edison Electric, of course).

in 1961, the long-running western Gunsmoke aired for the last time on the radio before moving to television. When viewers saw star William Conrad reprise his role from the radio show, they were less than impressed, and the television series ended after one season.

in 2003, Martian invaders attacked Alaska, northern Canada and northern Russia. The few people living in these areas fled south with horrifying stories of ten-foot tall monsters that breathed fire and could take a gunshot directly to the chest without even slowing down. Panic grips the world.

Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect Gunsmoke to Star Trek. Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.

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The Moon As Bright As Day

June 18th, 2005

in 1178, an explosion is seen on the moon by 5 Canterbury monks. Believing that this heralds the end of the world, they flee the monastery and exhort all about them to pray for deliverance. Within a week, all of England is paralyzed with fear of the end, and mass suicides begin happening across the country.

in 3874, Emperor Xiaozong Shen saw a star attack the moon, and the moon glow as bright as day for a moment. This vision seized him, and he summoned his royal astronomers. “Bend all your will towards getting us there,” he told them, pointing at the moon. “The Heavens must be ours.” It took over 700 years, but the vision of the emperors never wavered. Even as they controlled the earth, they knew that their destiny lay among the heavens.

in 1776, Tlamsita’s Congress of Nations gains its first members as both the North American Confederation and the Sioux Nation agree to join. By the end of the month, all of the western hemisphere has at least agreed to talks on the organization.

in 1815, Napoleon defeated the allied forces of Britain, Belgium, Germany and Holland in the battle of Waterloo, in Belgium. The emperor’s defeat of the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher, commander of the Prussian forces, was so crushing that the Austrian and Russian armies, arriving late to the battle, immediately retreated to their respective countries on seeing the carnage. France continued to dominate the continent until the emperor’s death in 1821.

in 1961, the long-running western Gunsmoke aired for the last time on the radio before moving to television. When viewers saw star William Conrad reprise his role from the radio show, they were less than impressed, and the television series ended after one season.

in 1981, a genetically-engineered virus escapes the Groom Lake Research Center (better known as Area 51) in Nevada and drifts over nearby Las Vegas. Vacationing gambler Nathaniel Engelsen is one of the hundreds who contracts the virus, and one of only a handful who survive it. When he comes out of the coma, he feels oddly different.

in 1995, as the creature from beyond makes its escape from Khabarovsk, Russia, Mikhail von Heflin sets off in pursuit. He plans to recapture it far enough away from the city to prevent any further damage to the Khabarovskis, but close enough to where he can return it to the prison he constructed for it. Unfortunately, it evades him and heads north, toward the Arctic. The Baron reluctantly follows.

in 2004, Jason Grzechy and Marjorie Adams hitchhike to San Francisco and find the offices of the San Francisco Chronicle. Although their story is unbelievable, the editor, J. W. Birdsall, is convinced when he sees the implants in their heads. The story is set to run the next day, and the Chronicle hides the pair in a hotel room, where they spend a night in fitful sleep.


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Lunar Explosion; The Martians Move In

June 18th, 2004

in 1178, an explosion is seen on the moon by 5 Canterbury monks. Believing that this heralds the end of the world, they flee the monastery and exhort all about them to pray for deliverance. Within a week, all of England is paralyzed with fear of the end, and mass suicides begin happening across the country.

in 3874, Emperor Xiaozong Shen saw a star attack the moon, and the moon glow as bright as day for a moment. This vision seized him, and he summoned his royal astronomers. “Bend all your will towards getting us there,” he told them, pointing at the moon. “The Heavens must be ours.” It took over 700 years, but the vision of the emperors never wavered. Even as they controlled the earth, they knew that their destiny lay among the heavens.

in 556, a group of shepherds saw Allah smite the moon with a stone from his sling. They immediately ran to their Caliph and told him what they had seen, and he pondered the meaning of this for many days. He then sent messengers to other Caliphs, and they agreed that Allah was telling them that moon-worshipers would not enter paradise. A sense of responsibility for the men around them required them to strike out and convert all the pagans to the true worship of Allah.

in 1776, Tlamsita’s Congress of Nations gains its first members as both the North American Confederation and the Sioux Nation agree to join. By the end of the month, all of the western hemisphere has at least agreed to talks on the organization.

in 1815, Napoleon defeated the allied forces of Britain, Belgium, Germany and Holland in the battle of Waterloo, in Belgium. The emperor’s defeat of the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher, commander of the Prussian forces, was so crushing that the Austrian and Russian armies, arriving late to the battle, immediately retreated to their respective countries on seeing the carnage. France continued to dominate the continent until the emperor’s death in 1821.

in 1921, Thomas Edison unveils his latest invention; an electric car. The Jove can run for over 100 miles between recharges, and can achieve speeds of up to 35 miles per hour. Edison begins working with dozens of cities to establish public recharge stations for the Joves; (with power supplied by Edison Electric, of course).

in 1940, Winston Churchill gave what would be his last speech on British soil, urging his countrymen that this would be “our finest hour” as Nazi bombardments intensified. It was a lost cause, though, and the government soon evacuated Britain.

in 4648, Emperor Dao-Ming of the Chinese Empire of Earth met Ambassador Ko’cho Lmota of the Chdo Democracy. Dao wept openly at the fulfillment of his ancestors’ dreams.

in 1953, the Boston Red Stockings established a professional Town Ball record by clubbing in 17 homers in one inning to defeat the Detroit Panthers 23-3.

in 1961, the long-running western Gunsmoke aired for the last time on the radio before moving to television. When viewers saw star William Conrad reprise his role from the radio show, they were less than impressed, and the television series ended after one season.

in 2003, Martian invaders attacked Alaska, northern Canada and northern Russia. The few people living in these areas fled south with horrifying stories of ten-foot tall monsters that breathed fire and could take a gunshot directly to the chest without even slowing down. Panic grips the world.

Annus Horribilis

The state of TIAH

May 18th, 2007

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Alternate Historian's Note: C'mon people! In 9 days, we'll hit TIAH's third anniversary. As before, that calls for a contest! Please send in your alternate versions of the Academy's beginnings (May 27th, 2004 was the date in this timeline). You can even use the fact that we lost the original day and had to restart on the 28th – whatever you can think of to provide a twist to our start. Send 'em in, and we'll print 'em! Be sure to tell us how you want your credit for the post to appear, as well as any links you want to be connected with your entry. Thanks for reading and get researching those alternate timelines! And, just as an addendum – if we don't get any entries, we're going to consider printing some of our more interesting emails...

in 1891, the Kansans are driven from the fort outside of Concordia. Colonel Theodore Monteith walks into the fort to the wild cheers of the men who had been trapped inside. Major Mark Wainwright, nursing a gunshot wound in his shoulder, nonetheless meets the colonel with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. He gives a smart salute to his superior and says, “Sir, I've never been more happy to see my boss.” Colonel Monteith embraces Wainwright and tells him privately, “I heard that you were about to accept their terms. I'm glad I could prevent that from happening, Major.” Wainwright nodded and laughed. “As am I, sir. As am I.”

in 1999, Sir Lance du Lac arrives in Hungary to join the British troops trying to subdue this former bastion of the Central European Empire. His mind, however, is on events back in Great Britain – his affair with Queen Gwen weighs heavily on his mind. He is so overcome with guilt that he joins a push at the front and gets himself captured by the enemy. The Illuminati's elite, hearing of this interesting development, make sure to take control of the prison camp where du Lac is being held. Queen Gwen also hears of this before it becomes known to the British, and she contacts her Illuminati allies with a plan.

In 2032, Commander Albert Raft departs Melbourne Town to travel to Ayers Rock City with the Security Ombudsman for the Australasian Sector of International Security. The Collapse is only one of the changes that Commander Raft witnesses, 20th-century thought has been expunged as well.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1972, arguments continued between Marvin Gaye and duet singer Diana Ross over her excessive marijuana smoking which he believed endangered wife Tammy Tyrell's unborn child, Marvin Junior. The problem did not get fixed until 1984 when husband Berry Gordy took extreme action; he shot her dead.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Montgomery	In 1947, the Tydings Committee summoned a most unexpected witness as the door to the courts open and in walks a Nazi General. Hans Guderian introduced himself as the commander of the XIX Army Corps in the invasion of of France. He personally led the attack that traversed the Ardennes Forest, crossed the Meuse River and broke ..
.. through the French lines at Sedan. Guderian's panzer group led the "race to the sea" that split the Allied armies in two, depriving the British Expeditionary Force and the French armies in Northern France and Belgium of their fuel, food, spare parts and ammunition. Senator McCarthy asked a seemingly innocuous question. Leaving the Committee front bench and walking up to the witness stood no more than three paces from Guderian : how did you know? Immediately General Sir Bernard Montgomery slammed the desk with his fist in a fury and shouted at McCarthy 'Damn you to hell!'.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1989, the King made a public broadcast on British Television: '1989 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an 'Annus Horribilis'. I suspect that I am not alone in thinking it so. Indeed, I suspect that there are ..	Picketing
.. very few people or institutions unaffected by these last months of worldwide turmoil and uncertainty. ' The reaction to the speech was mixed. There was a pause as the British people considered carefully their next step. Their master had spoken, but would they roll over?
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Anon Detective	In 1998, he chased down the trail, weak at first then stronger and stronger. Like the best of private detectives, he worked on gut instinct. And his instinct told him he was close, so very close to the huntress now.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1994, Michael Jackson married Lisa Marie Presley in the Dominican Republic. Her father gave her away in the photo opportunity of the millennia	Lisa as a child
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Division

	In 1952, on this day Princess Elizabeth proclaimed herself Queen, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith in a ceremony at Rideau Hall, the Governor's Residence in Ottawa. The proclaimation was met with a cool response from London. Prime Minister Oswald Mosley had made common cause with continental fascists Mussolini of Italy, Franco of Spain and Hitler of Germany during his premiership, but where they were all gone by the end of the decade, Mosley's rule of Britain had only begun.

The death of King George VI was a potential catalist to perhaps end the dynastic crisis in the British monarchy. Ironically the Queen's Uncle, King Edward VIII had been forced to abdicate having married an American divorcee, Wallace Simpson. He returned from the Governorship of the Bahamas as the titular Head of a Nazi Client State when the remainder of the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha fled to the Americas during Operation Sealion in 1940. Of German origin themselves, the British Royal Family traced their routes to the House of Wettin in Saxony. This dynasty of German counts, dukes, prince-electors (Kurfürsten) and kings ruled the area of today's German state of Saxony for more than 800 years as well as holding at times the kingship of Poland. Agnates of the House of Wettin have, at various times, ascended the thrones of Great Britain, Portugal, Bulgaria, Poland, Saxony, and Belgium.

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In 1952, Juan Escobar, a man who has made a small living studying the paranormal in Mexico and eastern Europe, hears of the destruction of a small diner in Bryan, Texas by a tall, dark German man. He has heard of this man before, the Baron von Todt, and immediately travels to Texas to find him.

Devils Footprints	In 1855, the Devil's Footprints mysteriously appear in southern Devon with the contemporaneous sightings of Spring Heeled Jack, a mysterious figure known for his extraordinary jumps. Jack was described by alleged victims as having a terrifying and frightful appearance, with diabolical physiognomy that included clawed hands and eyes that resembled red balls of fire. He was finally trapped in the East End of London where he was captured for the Whitechapel Murders of 1888 and later executed at the Tower of London.
Spring Heeled Jack

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In 1974, the temporary American space station Skylab returns to earth after 84 days in space. The crew included a stowaway, the alien intelligence known as the Avatar who quickly establishes a global tyranny.

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In 9816 BCE, Egyptian taskmasters, looking for a way to keep their slaves both happy and nourished, concoct a beverage that is essentially liquid fermented bread, from grains, yeast and water. Slaves cannot stomach the bitter, foul drink, and the recipe is lost to time.

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In 1692, Abigail Williams and Betty Paris uncover a coven of witches within the community of Salem, Massachusetts. For their great service to the crown, they are made Royal Witch-Hunters for the colony on reaching their majority. Through their diligence, hundreds of witches are driven from Massachusetts.

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In 1914, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien began working on the Middle-earth stories. A good deal was written while Tolkien, then a British officer returned from France during World War I, was laid up in a military hospital and at home with trench fever. Truth be told, Tolkien's imagination was over-stimulated by the horror of the Somme. In escapist fantasy writing, Tolkien's inner hero struggled to restore his own dissipated life force.

And when the tidings came of the fall of Gondolin, .. Morgoth [Tolkien's fear] though that his triumph was fulfilled, recking little of [Tolkien].. and he called upon them to forgive them, and rescue them back from the overmastering might of Morgoth and win back the Silmarils [Life Force]. ~ Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin

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In 1725, Pyotr the Great, last Tsar of Russia, died in captivity in Istanbul. He had been captured during a war with the Ottoman Empire in 1710, and held in disgrace ever since. His death finally quieted loyalists who had been attempting to overthrow the Ottomans and restore him to his throne.

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In 1777, Major Timothy Bigelow of the American rebels is recaptured, just 6 months after being released from a prisoner-of-war camp. The Massachusetts blacksmith is put to the death by the British as an example to other colonials. Many men from Bigelow's regiment joined the growing exodus to Canada, to join the nascent independence movement there.

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In 1802, the banjo clock is patented by Simon Willard of Massachusetts. This phenomenally successful product led to other musical instruments being made into clocks; antique guitar clocks from this era often sell for thousands of dollars at auctions.

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In 12-13-12-5-8, Emperor Calzotz allows the conquered northern nations to use their land in their traditional ways, instead of assigning nobles to rule over them. This act of mercy pays off for Ouezteca in reduced rebellions, and is continued by his successors.

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In 1998, on this day John Enoch Powell died in Canada and entered Valhalla. Powell's apocalyptic warnings of Rivers of Blood had proven all too prescient. The Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher had sent an elite force of Royal Marines and Paratroopers to cauterize the Channel Tunnel. Before the bomb could be detonated at Sangatte, the British position was overrun by vampires. Held at bay since 1917, the Red Menace finally swept into Britain. Powell escaped to Canada where his advice and guidance was desperately needed by a terrified Canadian government.

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Ariel Sharon	In 1983, on this day Generals Ariel Sharon - better known as the terrorist Arik - and Rafael Eitan of the Zionist Liberation Army were sentenced to death. The court found that Mr Sharon was indirectly but personally to blame for the massacres of more than 800 people in the Sabra and Shatila villages near Beirut in 1982. ZLA terrorists were in control of west Beirut when right-wing Christian militias entered the villages. The Lebanese Phalangist militia acted within the wider context of the Jewish-Christian consipiracy to strike the State of Palestine by destabilising the Northern border. The Phalange leader, Bashir Gemayel was still at liberty in the Lebanon.
Terrorist Arik

The Court's report said Mr Sharon had made a 'grave mistake' by failing to order 'appropriate measures for preventing or reducing the danger of massacre of innocents'. It concluded that Sharon should have foreseen what the Phalange would do when they entered the villages. Mr Sharon's defence lawyer said that because he had no knowledge of what would happen when ZLA irregular troops allowed the militia into the camps, he could not be held to account. The report also condemned Zionist General Rafael Eitan for breach of the Geneva convention in not taking steps to stop the massacre. It said he should have anticipated the danger and opposed the decision to send militia into the villages. Also criticised was ZLA President Menachim Begin, dismissing the argument that the Zionists could not be held directly accountable.

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