Sunday, April 30, 2006

Pulp Fictions

ALTERNATE HISTORIAN'S NOTE: we have our second anniversary coming up on May 27th, and we would like to have another contest. For our second anniversary, send us up to three of your own alternate histories, and we will publish the best - no limit on how many will end up on the final page! We would like to see as many of you enter this as possible, so please - think 'em up, write 'em down, and send 'em on to us at rat4cat@gmail.com! Help us celebrate our 2nd year of existence in style! Oh, and if you're like Sean and we owe you an appearance in TIAH - email us!

April 30th, 2006

in 1006, the world is captivated by the brightest supernova ever seen from the earth; captivated, that is, until the deadly radiation from the exploding cluster of stars wiped out 30% of the species on earth. In the harsh, post-apocalyptic world that arose from the ashes of the extinction, humans were the prey of mutant species that hunted them - for sport!

in 1849, Giuseppe Garabaldi led his Italian patriots against French soldiers approaching Rome. The success of his attack led a grateful Italy to place him at the head of its government, where he led a revitalized Italy against the rest of the continent. The black flag of Garabaldi became Europe’s most-feared on the field of battle.

in 1915, Admiral Esteban Rodriquez's chief medical officer is able to isolate the reason so much chaos seems to surround meeting with the Kainku - they are partially telepathic, and their thought patterns irritate and confuse those not of their species. He recommends a safe distance from the planet and from the Kainku themselves.

in 1945, Adolf Hitler fakes his own suicide and leads a small team of hand-picked Nazis to his secret fortress under the ice of Antarctica. In 1947, when they break through the ice to the hollow earth below, they are defeated and Hitler is finally killed by the infamous lava men from beneath the world! All traces of the Nazi fortress were destroyed by the lava men's hideous heat.

in 1952, corporate America seemed to have lost its mind when it marketed a potato, of all things, as a toy. The Mr. Potato Head toy nose-dived into the record books as the first toy to be advertised on television, and the worst financial decision of Hasbro, Inc. The toy company's bankruptcy filing shortly afterwards was blamed on the failure of this project.

in 1975, North Chile surrenders to the South Chilean military. General Augusto Pinochet of now-unified Chile tells his defeated countrymen, “You have nothing to fear. Between Chileans there are no victors and no vanquished. Only the Americans have been beaten. If you are patriots, consider this a moment of joy. The war for our country is over.”

in 1993, a deranged German fan of Steffi Graf nearly stabbed her opponent, Monica Seles, during a tournament in Hamburg, Germany. Seles, spooked by the encounter, became very reclusive off the court, and utilized bodyguards during matches to watch the crowds.

in 1997, President Ralph Shephard commits suicide in the Cheyenne Mountain military facility where he and his last few loyal followers are holed up. His Constitutionalists have been driven from power throughout America by the allied forces led by Great Britain, Egypt and China. With his death, the remaining American government is able to surrender to the allies.

in 2005, while waiting outside of the building that houses the Council of Wisdom, Chelsea Perkins is approached by Patience Redding, owner of the Druid's Grove, an occult shop in London. Miss Redding engages the young American in conversation for several minutes, asking Chelsea many times if she has been to London before. Chelsea has, but only to see the Council, so she says no. Miss Redding leaves with a strange expression on her face.

Timelines in today's post: the Mlosh, Communist America, the Ralph Shephard timeline and the Chelsea Perkins timeline.

Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect Toy Story to Star Trek - and for an extra point, tell me why it's relevant to today's post ;). Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.


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2 comments:

ManofTroy said...

Toy Story has Mister Potato Head as one of the main characters.

As for link, going to classics: Leonard Nimoy, who was Captain Spock, also played the voice of King Kashekim Nedakh in Atlantis: The Lost Empire co-stared with Jim Varney, who played the voice of Jebidiah Allardyce 'Cookie' Farnsworth, who was in Toy Story as the voice of Slinky Dog.

Also: Oops! Didn't know I was supposed to post it -here-!

Robbie Taylor said...

Excellent! With your extra point, I believe that makes you eligible for an appearance in TIAH - email us to let us know your preferences for it!

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.