Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Quaker Arrival; Roswell Announcement

The state of TIAH

July 11th, 2006

in 1656, Ann Austin and Mary Fisher, the first 2 members of the violent Quaker sect to arrive in America, go on a violent killing spree before being captured by colonial authorities. Their method was to convert someone to their religion, absolving them of their sins, then kill them while they were still “blameless”, so that they would go straight to Heaven. Fisher, at her trial, stated, “I will take the sin on me, for I have seen a hundred men to Heaven.” It is unknown if this was true or a boast, but the pair were executed for at least 10 murders.

in 1754, famed scatologist Thomas Bowdler was born. A medical doctor by profession, his avocation was making bawdy versions of classical works, especially Shakespeare. His “Fable of the cad, Romeo, and his strumpet, Juliet”, is generally considered the most filthy work to come out of the 18th century. The disreputable actors who gave life to his obscenities were often arrested for prostitution and other morals charges, although the good doctor was only arrested once. He was let go after a mere admonition, which struck the prudish society around him as a travesty. Poet Algernon Swinburne said of Bowdler, “More nauseous and foolish cant was never chattered.”

in 1947, as the announcement of a flying saucer being found on his property hits the newsstands of Roswell, rancher Mac Brazel and his family receive the good news that daughter Bessie is doing well and seems to be making a full recovery. The Brazels are somewhat confused by the story released by the Air Force, but have decided that they are not going to rock the boat; Brazel is just happy that his daughter is doing well and that he and the rest of his family haven't fallen ill, as well. The Air Force sends a few more men to look around his property, and he just warns them not to spook the cattle.

in 2017, the tour of the Pr't'(whistle) Dyson sphere by the crew of the Pokor and Eagle is cut short as the scientists working on the golden alien device contact them to let them know that they are ready for an experiment. The humans and Quarai rush back to the docking area at the outside of the sphere where the device has been kept. With a couple of Pr't'(whistle)ian scientists on board, the Pokor takes off from the sphere and travels a safe distance away. Commander Patterson tells the natives of the sphere, “I hope you said goodbye to your families this morning.” The golden device is activated, and a great glow envelopes the Pokor. “Here we go again,” Patterson mutters. There is a moment of disorientation, and then the glow fades.

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