Saturday, July 08, 2006

Sundae, Sundae

The state of TIAH

July 8th, 2006

in 1881, druggist Edward Berner of Two Rivers, Wisconsin felt that he needed a gimmick to set his drugstore apart from others. Being something of a historian, he knew of an old 18th century dessert called ice cream, that had failed to catch on in the U.S. He tried to revive it by pouring chocolate syrup over it. As delicious as the syrup was, it couldn’t revive the full dish – people ate the syrup and left the ice cream. Berner even added bananas, cherries, sweet whipped cream and nuts to the mix, but was always left with the melted soup of the ice cream at the end of the dessert. As hard as he tried to make a go of it, Americans just didn't like ice cream.

in 1918, Red Cross ambulance driver Ernest Hemingway, barely 19 years old, is shot nearly to death as he attempts to carry a soldier from the field of battle on the Italian front. Hemingway manages to struggle himself and his charge into the ambulance and drive almost 12 miles to the field hospital before collapsing. Doctors struggle to save the valiant young driver, but his immense loss of blood during the long drive proves too great, and he dies on the operating table. The family of the soldier he saved petitions for Hemingway to receive the Medal of Honor, which he is awarded posthumously in 1921.

in 1947, Bessie Brazel keeps a precarious hold on her life as Dr. Powell prepares to use a blood transfusion to cure what he believes is radiation poisoning. He has examined the glowing stick she kept beside her bed for several days, and it is indeed very radioactive. Bessie's father, rancher Mac Brazel, explains about the strange wreckage to Sheriff George Wilcox, but neglects mentioning the bodies that he also found and buried. Wilcox insists on going to the site where Brazel and his sons buried everything, and while there, finds one of the bodies. When he confronts Brazel about it, the rancher breaks down and tells him everything, pointing out the other bodies as well. Sheriff Wilcox takes some of the wreckage to the Roswell Air Force base to ask them if it is anything they have recently lost. To his great surprise, they begin interrogating him about where he found this wreckage, and if he found anything else with it. The sheriff tells them where the rest of the wreckage, and the bodies, are buried, and they tell him that this matter is classified, and he is to tell no one else about it. Air Force security pay a visit to the Brazel ranch and the hospital to tell Brazel and Dr. Powell the need for secrecy in this matter.

in 1954, Comrade President Jacobo Arbenz Guzman of The People's Republic of Guatemala orders the execution of failed coup leader Colonel Carlos Castillo Armas. Reactionary European monarchies had backed the colonel's attempt to take over his country and turn it into a capitalist bastion in the backyard of the Soviet States of America. Ever-vigilant Soviet spies in the People's Republic alerted Comrade Arbenz to the danger represented by Colonel Castillo Armas, and the SSA provided him with troops and arms to fight off the colonel's treacherous attack. The American Secretary of State proudly announced that “the people of Guatemala have been saved from European imperialism. The foiling of this dastardly plot has added a new and glorious chapter to the comrades of the American hemisphere.”

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