Disposal Duty

July 31st, 2007

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The Announcement

Alternate Historian's Personal Note: I don't talk about my personal life that often here, but today's going to be an exception. Last night, I went to an audition for a musical - Grease, specifically hoping to be cast in the Guardian Angel role, the one that Frankie Avalon played in the movie. I was called almost immediately and sang Beauty School Dropout a little shakily, but OK. Then, I sat and looked at all these kids, almost all of whom I was old enough to parent, or even, God help me, grandparent, and I thought about my own life in the theater. I started acting when I was 12, and have appeared in several dozen productions since then, acting alongside pros and amateurs alike. When I lived in Paris, I put on my own one-man show. Before I started dating my wife, I was in something like 6 productions in a row at the local theater. Since then, though, I've only been in one show, and that was mainly so that my wife could see me act. Sitting in that theater last night, I realized that I'd lost the fire that I used to have.
It actually started coming on me in the production I was in when I met my wife the second time around (another story I'll have to tell sometime). Except for a couple of old friends of mine, most of the cast was a bunch of jerks, and it really soiled the experience for me. I used to love performing in the theater – I relished auditions and the crushing of my competition beneath the heels of my superior talent. I lived for the applause, for the occasional notice of the critics, the respect of my peers. But, this production made me look at my peers differently. The local theater used to pride itself on a professional attitude. This cast treated the performance like a frat party, and not the fun Animal House kind, but the sick, twisted, Lacrosse-team-at-Duke University kind.
So, after the next production, I took a break, and that was when I started dating my lovely bride. We were married 7 months after our first date (true love waits for no one!), and a couple of months later, she convinced me to audition for another show, because she had never seen me act. It was an OK show, but there was a major problem with dropped lines from several cast members. I used to be in an improv troupe (another long story), so I can talk my way out of any sticky situation on stage, but this just added to the sense of ennui I felt about the theater.
Since then, I haven't been in any shows. I still look at the production schedule for the local theater companies, and think about showing up for something that looks fun, and when I saw that the auditions for Grease were open last night, I thought, maybe 10 years is a long enough break. But, instead of the rush I always felt from auditioning, I just thought about the time I was going to be giving up – not seeing my daughter every night, not hanging around with my wife, not being able to game with our friends on Wednesdays – and I just realized that it was no longer worth it to me. I made my apologies to the director and left.
I turn 42 in 2 weeks. When I was the age of most of the kids in that theater, I thought that, by this time, I'd be living in Hollywood with my Oscars. But, now that I've done Hollywood, (another long story), I find that I prefer the life of the writer. I'm my own boss and I set my own hours. I wouldn't rule out performing again, but probably only something I've written myself. It makes sense to me. Writing was my first love, and has been a more faithful companion (and more lucrative) than my acting paramour. It feels a little odd to let that side of myself go, though. It defined me for so long that I can't say how I feel about no longer having it around. A little old, yes. But, satisfied.
Anyway, enough of my maudlin personal life – on with the Alternate History, following the limey line...

Jimmy Hoffa	In 1975, a chance discovery occurred at the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. A waitress on disposal duty discovered a napkin tucked in the leather upholstery of a dining booth. The cryptic message "THEY RULE" was written upon it. The deep indents from a ball point suggested a state of nervous tension in the writer.
Terrified the waitress travelled to her Detroit suburb home, said nothing. Scared. Very scared. She was aware that on the previous day, Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa had disappeared from the parking lot of the restaurant. Realised that the production of the napkin could raise questions about her part in the event. Worried how the Police could have missed it, worried they might believe the napkin was actually passed to her directly. Knew that Hoffa had worked tirelessly for the labour movement. Went to bed and stared at the ceiling for most of the night. Suffered a dreadful dream in which Hoffa was sitting dead in the dining booth, looked up from the menu, said “They rule, you know?”. Woke up and ran to the wash room, stomach convulsing. Sick. Very sick.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1957, Sir Winston Churchill died in his London home at Hyde Park Gate at the age of 82. His wife Lady Clementine Churchill and other members of the family were at his bedside. His political career began as a Conservative MP for Oldham in 1900 - but he became disaffected and joined the Liberals in 1906. He was First Lord of the Admiralty during World War I - but shortly afterwards switched sides again, to rejoin the Conservatives in 1924. Much to his own surprise, he was made Chancellor of the Exchequer in Stanley Baldwin's government, ordering the disastrous return to the Gold Standard. He came into his own during World War II. He became prime minister in May 1940. His ceaseless energy, unflinching determination to beat the enemy and an ability to make great speeches, inspired the entire nation and eventually helped win the war. He retained power in 1945 after a surprise general election result brought the Conservatives Party to government. During the election, Churchill pledged that he would "not preside over the dissolution of His Majesty's Empire". Shortly thereafter, Churchill announced that it time was to put a stop to all the nonsense spread by that half-naked fakir and followers, dissolving the Indian Congress and gaoling Gandhi, Nehru, Vinoba and many others. Indians were then expelled from positions in the Civil Service and critical industries. The expense of these draconian measures caused a run on the pound and an economic crisis that forced the British to quit the Raj. Unable to accept that Gandhi could defeat him where Hitler failed he retreated into alcohol. Failing health forced Churchill to step down as Prime Minister in 1955. He continued as a backbencher until his death, an increasingly isolated figure speaking out against Harold Macmillan's Winds of Change policy. ~ alternate obituary from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to re-examine the significance of a controversial historical figure.

In 1994, newly elected Labour Leader Bryan Gould attended a most distasteful dining appointment at the Granita restaurant in Islington, London. His guest was the so-called arch-moderniser representive Prince of Darkness Peter Mandelson. Gould explained his plans for New Labour, a return to a values-based agent of change for the Country. He also indicated that he saw no role for either the perenially upbeat lawyer Tony Blair or "son of the manse" Gordon Brown. Or indeed Blair's wife, who had until recently entertained a fantasy she would be a First Lady. Of course that was if her husband won the Leadership election as was widely anticipated. This policy-before-presentation leadership style was in sharp contrast to his predecessors John Smith and Neil Kinnock. In order to give a fresh vitality to Labour's image, both former Leaders had paraded the Blair-Brown duo on television since the mid-1980s. Privately, Gould felt threatened by the arch-modernisers right up until they were expelled from the party in 1999, as a result of the outcry created by the documentary the "Blair Witch Project".

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 2009, the TV networks presented episode twenty of So What If?. Historian Michael Orgill examines General Douglas MacArthur's invasion of China against orders and how he later set himself up as US dictator.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Eddie Cochran	That guitar's fine looking man woh it's something else ~ Lyrics to “Something Else” - Click to Play Sample
Master or servant?

Cochran describing the incredible powers of his favourite instrument, the Gretsch 6120 electric guitar. On the night of Saturday April 16, 1960, at about 11:50 p.m. while on tour in the United Kingdom, Cochran died in a traffic accident in a taxi travelling through Chippenham, Wiltshire, England on the A4. He was 21. The taxi crashed into a lamp post on Rowden Hill. There was no other car involved. A plaque erected there shows the actual spot. He was taken to St. Martin's Hospital, Bath, but died at 4:10 p.m. the following day. Songwriter Sharon Sheeley (Cochran's fiancée) and singer Gene Vincent survived the crash. The taxi driver, George Martin was convicted of dangerous driving, fined £50, disqualified from driving for fifteen years and sent to prison for six months. The car and other items from the crash were impounded at the local police station until a coroners' inquest could be held. At that time, David Harman, later known as Dave Dee of the band Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich, was a police cadet at the station, and taught himself to play guitar on Eddie's impounded Gretsch. An unknown rock 'n' roll fan called Mark Feld had carried the same guitar to the limo from a London gig the night before. Feld later changed his name to Marc Bolan and became one of the stars of the British Glam Rock scene of the 1970s. Marc Bolan also died in a car crash in 1977. The full lyrics are available at A1 Tracks

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

South Island	In 1512, at Te Whenua o Te Potiki-Tautahi (Christchurch, NZ) a Ngai Tahu chief performed certain rituals to connect to the Mesh, that global network of First Nation consciousness founded in Manna-hata, Turtle Island in 1492. In so doing, the south island of Te Wai Pounamu became a sub-node of the Dreamtime, the 40,000 Aboriginal ..
.. civilization on the mainland continent known to the European tourist as Australia.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, Pierre Laval, fugitive former leader of Vichy France, slipped through patrols by Allied soldiers in Austria to escape Europe. He fled to Argentina where he was assisted by Kameradenwerk (German for "comrade work"), the secret organization of former SS and Nazi officers formed after World War II.	Pierre Laval
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Idlewild	In 1948, at Idlewild Field, New York International Airport was dedicated. The Airport was later renamed Ronald Reagan International Airport after John Hinckley, assassinated the Gipper in 1981.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1964, Ranger 7 sent back the first close-up photographs of the moon, with images 1,000 times clearer than anything ever seen from earth-bound telescopes. Regrettably the images did not reveal the space/time disturbance on the southern Sea of Tranquillity. Five years later the vortex was to send the Apollo 11 mission back ..	Ranger 7
.. through time to the night before the Battle of Tours. Commander Neil Armstrong was less worried that the in-craft time device was reporting 9th October 732; of greater concern was the sight of Frankish and Burgundian troops about to decamp with their heads down in abject defeat. The following day these soldiers must put a final stop to the Arab invasion of Europe, without which, there would be no Western Europe and no America!
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Larting

August 17th, 2007

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The Announcement

Don't forget - Birthday Contest for Steve – November 22, 1967. Send in an alternate birthday for him for us to post!


I'm sort of an enigma in the circles I travel in. Most of my friends, they're looking for something like a nation that was lost to time, or a people that never rose to greatness, or The Perfect World. Me, I'm looking for the Porno Universe.

It's a small dream, but it keeps me going.

You might think this was a waste of the talent, that I should be doing something noble and beneficial to the multiverse at large. You might be right. I don't care. Because, when it comes right down to it, all those ennobling and beneficial things already exist somewhere, and somebody's already figured out how to get them to everybody. All I can do is try to find some way and some place to be happy myself, and I've chosen the Porno Universe.

I mean, think about it. In the Porno Universe, (or how I envision it, at least), there's no violence against other men, no violence against women, no frustration, everybody is devoted to happy sexual congress and doing anything necessary to keep everybody satisfied. It's the ideal world.

Yeah, I know, it's a rationalization. Bite me. It's my rationalization. When you've been roaming around the planes as long as I have, all the others tend to wear thin. I needed something primal to keep me going.

My buddy Patrice, who's been hanging out with me for a while now, is looking for the African planes, where Africa took over the world in the same way that Europe took over the world in the planes we're both from. He's always wanted to see European slaves being whipped to work by African overlords. He wants to own a few Europeans himself. He's kind of a racist, when you come right down to it, but a nice enough guy otherwise. Sometimes he's been close, but never gotten quite the world he likes. I've been his 'servant' quite a few times, but there was always an equality movement in those worlds, about to succeed, too, and he didn't feel like sticking around to fight it, and possibly lose.

I can understand that. I found a Sado-Masochist Porno Universe once, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. When you can do what we do, why bother settling when you can have the whole dream?

We were out in the mid-planes, just trying to find someplace palatable for a little rest. We'd just come from one of those worlds where aliens had taken over in the Middle Ages, you know, where the Non-Interference Pact between the T'Kung and the Bisli hadn't been made, and earth had become a staging ground for their war. After spending a few days in Enviro-suits because of alien terraforming, we both needed a vacation.

"How about that one over there?" Patrice pointed at a tidy little planar conjunction, and I scanned it for a minute.

"Nah, it feels like one of those places where the Nazis won."

"Oh, I hate those places. You have to dye your hair blonde, I have to color my skin and wear contacts - "

"Yeah, not today." I scanned another conjunction a bit further off. "That one feels a little different. Not quite a world-vision place, but close."

"I do notice a distinct African strain in it," Patrice said hopefully. "Let's try it out."

We moved into the conjunction, and felt our body chemistry shift slightly to accommodate the new world we were coming into. It gives you a kind of giddy high for a few minutes; a few of the newbies'll just spend days popping in and out of conjunctions. It's hilarious to see them when they finally come down off it. There's no hangover like a dimensional hangover.

We came out of the conjunction into a decidedly non-technical city. Most of the buildings were one story high and kind of a rustic, just-post-air- conditioning level of architecture. A couple of buildings did have a grander look to them, but there was one building that caught both of us right away. It was at least 500 feet high, and it was an African pyramid.

Patrice was in Heaven.

"I think this is it, I think this is it !" He was jumping up and down, shouting thanks to several African deities. "I can feel the blood of the motherland all around me!"

I took his arm and pointed off towards the pyramid. "Then, how do you explain those guys?" Coming from the grungier buildings were a line of people who, while not exactly Aryan types, were a lot paler than Patrice was. I didn't see anybody who looked like they were of pure African ancestry.

"Slaves," he said, quite confidently. "Look over there, where they're lining up."

Off in the distance, on a road that led towards the pyramid, there were a group of African men herding the paler, plodding types into an elephant-drawn truck. The white boys didn't seem any too happy about the situation, but didn't resist. A couple of times, one of them said something that one of the Africans didn't like, and they were beaten until they couldn't stand anymore. Then, they were picked up and loaded onto the truck by their fellows.

"Great. I get to play your houseboy again."

"I don't think you're going to want to stay here, Gabriel. I'm getting the download about this dimension right now, and it's not looking very good for people of European ancestry here." He motioned me behind one of the buildings, out of sight of the slaveloading operation. Raising his hand, he projected an image of the world on the wall. Several lines were drawn between Africa and Asia, and a few routes were shown between Africa and the Americas, but virtually everything looked to be under the colonial control of about fourteen African nations. Europe was split into bits and pieces, with no indigenous governments controlling anything. Asia was allied with Africa, but was definitely the junior partner. "Europeans are the key to economic prosperity here. There are about 200 million of them, and they do all of the muscle work, leaving the Africans and Asians free to pursue more intellectual goals." A broad smile appeared on Patrice's face, and looked like it'd never leave. "It's paradise."

I had to laugh. "Yeah, it's what you've been looking for, all right. But, is there a freedom movement for the Europeans? Or, an abolition movement among either the Asians or Africans?"

"There was one, about a hundred years ago." He pointed at south Asia. "The Chinese emperor had a European concubine, and apparently fell so much in love with her that he began to have second thoughts about the entire European situation. He began emancipating Europeans, even gave them a small chunk of China to call their own. After his death, though, they fell under the influence of Koreans who wanted to free themselves from the empire, and, in the war that followed, the Europeans were put back under the yoke, along with the Koreans. Since then, no other European emancipation program has been enacted."

"Have you got the local language imprinted, yet?"

He held a hand to his head. "I'm getting it now. It's very similar to pre-Arabic Egyptian, with a little pre-Arabic Ethiopian thrown in."

"Are personal slaves expected to speak?"

"Only when they're spoken to." He pounded my back. "You'll finally get to show me the proper respect."

"Yes, master." I started accessing the download from him and assimilating the language, and any pointers about how I should act as Patrice's boy. It wasn't too different from how slaves are supposed to act everywhere. Abasement, deference, and quickness to obey orders are what people want of a slave no matter what culture is dominant. It's sometimes a little sad to see that the bad side of our nature remains so constant.

But, philosophizing doesn't get you any closer to the Porno Universe.

Geezer Butler	Look how people pay money to see scary movies, we should try writing scary music and change our name to Black Sabbath? ~ Geezer Butler - Click to Watch Sample
Black Sabbath

In 1969, the British Police closed the case file on Terence Michael Joseph "Geezer" Butler (his nickname supposedly arose from a habit as a teenager of referring to everyone as "Geezer"). The recent death of the thirty year old was ruled misadventure. Other members of the band Earth provided a more sinister explanation based on recent occultist influences the band had been flirting with. According to the vocalist John Michael “Ozzy” Osbourne, the band had been working on a new signature tune “Black Sabbath” which was inspired by an experience that Geezer Butler related to Osbourne. Geezer had painted his apartment matte black and placed several inverted crucifixes on the walls. Then, one day, Ozzy brought round a book about Witchcraft, which Geezer became extremely fascinated by. One night, he read the book and fell asleep. He recalled waking up and seeing a black figure and, as he put it, "cr*pped myself". He then told Ozzy, who wrote the lyrics to what would become Black Sabbath: "What is this that stands before me? Figure in black which points at me". He repeated the story over the coming weeks before being found death by Osbourne. Even though he had just turned thirty, his hair was completely white. And the witchcraft book was missing. The lyrics are available at at Lyricsdomain

~ quotation by Co-Historian Steve Payne from Counter-history – You're the Judge!

In 2008, English-born Canadian Steve Payne was sued by BlueberryPie for alluding to Freudian motives for owners of the EyeFone Quartz Midnight who he suggested suffered from Psychosexual under-development. Simon Works the President of BlueberryPie dismissed this recalcitrant as a “lowser that wants larting*. The guy should spend less time in the Muffin shop dizzing the product and more time down the gym working off those six bellies where you could tuck a dozen EyeFones and smuggle them out of the country”.

~ entry by Co-Historian Steve Payne

Larting: Lowser-Attitute-Readjustment-Tool e.g. Soft baseball bat over the head, term of alleged empathy used by IT staff all over the world to describe technically “challenged” end users.

In 2002, Chris Bunch's Tarnished Glory contemporaries Custer and Patton were appointed to Supreme Allied Command following a plane crash killing Eisenhower and Bradley. Much like the appointments of Hindenburg and Ludendorff to German High Command in World War I, the dynamics of war-time had delivered an unexpected historic opportunity that was seized by second choice mavericks.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 2010, techno tragedy struck down a talentless middle-aged author in the wilds of Canada. For many years, the deceased had been guilty of "eating the shopping". This obscure crime involved premature consumption of the goodies part of the weekly groceries. Recently, the fridge had been micro-chipped with a Java appliance which automatically re-ordered shopping items for home delivery as they approached minimum stock levels. Predictably, this device had unleashed a six month binge. Colleages from the Academy paid their respects, indicating that the Co-Historian had copied Editor's note: Surely "created"? some quality work before his fingers had become infeasibly porky, preventing the effective use of Control-C, Control-V. Some of his better plagiarisms were run on the Today in Alternative History web site for a week of tributes.

~ entry by Steve Payne.

In 2002, RM Muleuch published Twelve Legions of Angels. Disgraced Air Marshall Hugh Dowding challenges the conventional wisdom that the Big Wing theory was doomed, asserting that a Battle of Britain could have been won.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

Admiral Tirpitz	In 1991, on this day Robert K Massie published U Boat: Britain, Germany, and the Coming of the Great War. Massie begins with the birth of Queen Victoria, and follows the chronology of the royal families of Europe, culminating in the unification of Germany ..
.. by Bismarck and the crowning of Kaiser William II. With the stage set, Massie describes the series of people and events that contributed to the ultimate outbreak of war, including Alfred von Tirpitz and his ultimately successful plan to starve the British into defeat by sinking their convoys.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1945, on this day “The Dawn of Liberation” was published, containing Churchill's 1944 speeches on the road to victory, from "Preparation, Effort in Resolve” to "Hope for Victory” as part of the three volume definitive edition, “The War Speeches”. The events of “Churchill's Last Stand” ..	Winston Churchi..
.. are described in some detail. Churchill pinpoints the key moment as the creation of the State of Israel from the British Mandate in Palestine, an act which forged the alliance with Moshe Dayan's Hagannah forces. Heavily supported by Indian and Australian divisions, Bernard Montgomery created the first truly multinational army which triumphed over the Axis powers over the course of the next two glorious years.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Columbus	In 1923, Amerindian explorers had landed in Andalusia to find a fallen civilization. After a day's march, they discover the truth. When Cristoforo Colombo returned on March 15 1493, he and his men spread the Smallpox, typhus, influenza, diphtheria, measles, malaria, and other epidemics that had plagued them since first contact. ..
.. The pandemic had resulted in the depopulation of the continent.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1976, offices of the publisher Doubleday in New York City are closed by an executive order of President George Wallace and Vice President Curtis LeMay. Copies of “Roots: The Saga of an American Family” are seized just two hours before publication. Federal Agents commanded by Chief Investigator Oliver North order ..	Roots
.. staff at gunpoint to recall copies from retail outlets throughout America. In a televised speech that evening Wallace denies charges of Jim Crow censorship. Alleging that the book was a blatant copy of a work of fiction, “The African” by Harold Courlander, Wallace said he had a duty as President to prevent bicentennial celebrations planned for the following year to be ruined by a “cheap piece of plagiarism”.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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"Get This Man"

The state of TIAH

April 22nd, 2007

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in 1891, President Benjamin Harrison orders a day of mourning for the death of former President Grover Cleveland and “the brave soldiers who died to keep us as one nation. Now, to honor their brave, lost lives, it falls upon us to do the work that they sacrificed for – bring our nation back together again.” Harrison's words are reported across the US, and even 'Sockless' Jerry Simpson reads them in the Topeka Standard. He replies, and has his words sent across the country via wireless: “When the Great Thief gives up his stolen office and our nation returns to the values that we all can recognize, then Kansas will gladly rejoin the fraternity of the states. But, until that day, we must stand aside, and say that we, as one people, will not stand for such dishonorable wretches staining the halls of our most sacred institutions.” His words also made the papers, and President Harrison was enraged. “Give General Franklin every last troop he needs,” he told his Secretary of War, “but, get this man.”

in 1998, the Central European Empire announces that it will not recognize “the illegitimate government of the British usurper, Arthur Pendrake. Emperor Pierre will now, and forevermore, only recognize the rightful rulers of Great Britain, the Windsors.” Although most of the Commonwealth follows the lead of the CEE, Australia swears its allegiance to King Arthur II, and sends troops across the world to aid him. Arthur's Prime Minister, Merl Myrddin, also begins to use his old contacts among the Illuminati to move certain levers of power in Arthur's way. In spite of European opposition, Arthur's crown becomes more steady as time goes on.

In 2165 Stanley 3XG Homeboy was comfortably winning a cyberspace game of basket ball played out in the Venice Beach “skin”. Based in a 20 feet by 25 feet lock-up in Whittaker, California, built as a double car garage by mid-century 20ths Stanley had other things on his mind. He was playing the game on a cyberspace console. Trouble was a mutating form of bio-leprosy had taken three of his fingers, and his future in the game was looking bleak. Stanley was seventeen years old. He had enjoyed a long and rewarding career in cyberspace basket ball by contemporary standards.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Map showing Maluku Isla..	In 1529 the Treaty of Saragossa divided the eastern hemisphere between Spain and Portugal along a line 297.5 leagues or 17° east of the Moluccas. ..
.. The next problem was gaining access to the new territory, the melancholy of exclusion emanating from the group consciousness of First Nations rendered armed incursion impossible
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1983 in his own good time Hugh Trevor-Roper has authenticated the  Bormann Diaries . The murders check out and he is reasonably satisfied that Hitler was a lycanthrope. His participation in this authentication process dated back to 1947, when the British government had ordered him to investigate the circumstances ..	Bormann
.. of Adolf Hitler's death and to rebut the claims of the Soviet that Hitler was alive and living somewhere in the West. At the Press Conference schedule for April 25th, he will of course indicate that the result of these investigations, his masterpiece  The Last Days of Hitler  will require revision. But how much? A total rewrite perhaps? He was about to find out from a very unexpected source.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

A poison gas attack usi..	In 1915 the use of poison gas in World War I escalated when chlorine gas was released ..
.. as a chemical weapon in the Second Battle of Ypres. By 1916, poison gas ended the attrition warfare of the trenches. Mother is the necessity of invention, and poison gas and the atomic bombs were the super-weapons that ended the stalemates of World War I and II. Unlike 1945, because both sides had the super-weapon, mutually assured destruction forced the combatants to the negotiating table in 1916.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Álvares Cabral became the first European to sight Brazil. The melancholy of separation emanating from the Mesh of course prevented Cabral and his crew from approaching the coast.	Brazil
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Singing Openly

August 28th, 2007

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Don't forget - Birthday Contest for Steve – November 22, 1967. Send in an alternate birthday for him for us to post!

More of the departing Alternate Historian's meandering farewell: One of the things that has always amused me since starting TIAH has been the number of people who just didn't get the alternate part of the page's title. I've had people ask me for my sources for certain 'historical' events, compliment me on how accurate I was (?!?), and one memorable Indian gentleman became so offended by the fact that I was taking liberties with history that he declared himself the Anti-Alternate Historian. It's both funny and a little disturbing – especially when you consider what set some of these people off. On a post with alien invasions and ancient wizards battling over Wales, they would become upset because Pete Best was portrayed as a superstar. Aliens and wizards, those were believable – but Pete Best with talent? That was stretching it too far.
I've also enjoyed the enthusiasm of the people who read TIAH – one of my favorite people was the guy who set up the Annotated Today In Alternate History site, so that he could post the real-world events that inspired my posts. He only lasted a couple of months, but I loved him, and read his site every day. I also had people set up feeds on other sites – often just for themselves, since I have a feed already that they could have used. But, they wanted it in their own special way, and I never begrudged them that.
Enough of my sentimentality for today – I'll greet you with more weepiness tomorrow as we count down to my final farewell. Speaking of enthusiastic readers – here's one that went on to become the Historian himself! Steve's stuff after the Limey Line...

In 2007, the Prince of Wales decision not to attend a memorial to mark the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death met with widespread approval from the British public. One of Diana's friends, Rosa Monckton, said it would be "deeply inappropriate" for Charles to attend Friday's service. Charles said he feared his attendance "could divert attention from the purpose of the occasion". Ingrid Seward, editor of Majesty magazine, said the Queen would have sanctioned the Prince's decision. It is not yet clear whether Princes William and Harry will meet with their father. Both have lived with the Earl of Spencer at his home in South Africa for the last decade. It is the tenth anniversary of the Earl's eulogy, at which he famously stated : "On behalf of your mother and sisters, I pledge that we, your blood family, will do all we can to continue the imaginative way in which you were steering these two exceptional young men, so that their souls are not simply immersed by duty and tradition but can sing openly, as you planned."

~ entry by Steve Payne

Jesse Owens	In 1935, German athlete Lutz Long wrote to Jesse Owens to express his deep regret that they would not compete together in the Long Jump at the Games of the XI Olympiad in Archona, capital city of the Dominion of Draka. Lutz was posthumously awarded the Pierre de Coubertin medal for sportsmanship.
The decision by Chief Justice von Shrakenberg to deny a travel permit to Jesse Owens was by now backfiring disastrously United States Olympic Committee president Avery Brundage had already announced the withdrawal of the participation of the American athletics from the Games. It was the moment when the world wobbled on its axis, and for the first time it was not so clear that the Dominion of the Draka would inherit the earth. Unmistakably, the Draka feared that Owens would win up to four medals at the Games, debunking the myth of white supremacy. In the tragic years to come, Owens became the icon of the the Alliance for Democracy. His Olympic flame burnt so very brightly as the world defeated the dystopian vision of von Shakenberg and his "super-men".
~ variant entry by Steve Payne: details of the Draka World have been used to celebrate the genius of S.M. Stirling

In 1868, in Lee Allred's West of Appomattox US Secretary of State General Robert E. Lee has a clandestine meeting with a powerful but nameless figure in the British establishment. An emotional Lee confronts the deep-seated guilt of abandoning Virginia. And the shame of Confederate President Jefferson Davis execution in custody after he was captured in 1865, held in a federal prison for two years and charged with treason.

~ variant from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to celebrate the author's genius.

In 1950, the withdrawal of United Nations forces forced President Harry S Truman to accept the counsel of advisors, who called for unilateral U.S. airstrikes against the North Korean forces. Truman had already ordered the Seventh Fleet to protect Chiang Kai-Shek's Taiwan, thereby ending America’s policy of non-interference in Chinese domestic affairs. The Nationalist government (now confined to Taiwan) asked to participate in the war. Their request had been denied by the Americans, who felt they would only encourage PRC intervention. Despite the post-World War II demobilization of U.S. and allied forces, which caused serious supply problems for American troops in the region, the United States still had substantial forces in Japan to oppose the North Korean military and its largely outdated Soviet equipment. These American forces were under the command of General Douglas MacArthur. Trouble was that apart from British Commonwealth units, no other nation could supply sizeable manpower. Pusan changed everything, and the regional containment strategy had failed. Truman, needing allies, reluctantly invited Taiwan into the war. By September of 1950, a state of war existed between the United States and China. It became apparent that World War III would be fought in Asia-Pacific.

~ entry from Co-Historian Steve Payne

"Old Blood and Guts" Part 2 (1918-1944) - After the war General George Smith Patton III was an advocate of armored warfare but was reassigned to the cavalry. In World War II he commanded major units of North Africa, Sicily, and the European Theater of Operations. During this period, Patton saw service alongside unorthodox British General T.E. Lawrence. Like Patton, Lawrence had also survived a near death experience (in a 1935 motorcycle accident), and both individuals shared a common sense of immortality which verged on recklessness. The popular image of "Old Blood and Guts", contrasts with the historians' image of a brilliant military leader whose record was also marred by insubordination and some periods of apparent instability. Hitler described Patton as "that crazy cowboy general". Previously considered friend, superior officer, and mentor, Eisenhower demoted Patton after the famous slapping incident but re-appointed him in France.

~ alternate obituary from Steve Payne: extensive use of original content has been made to re-examine the significance of a controversial historical figure.

In 1963, Dr. Huey Percy Newton of the Black Panther Party (originally called the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense) led militant civil right activists in an occupation of the White House following the Million Man March. There was no point making fine speeches from the Lincoln Memorial, said Newton, talk was cheap.

~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

Rommel	In 1943, and in direct contravention of the Geneva Convention Generalfeldmarschall Erwin Johannes Eugen Rommel released huge quantities of poison gas at the liberating invasion forces in Dorking. The Free British Forces had been racing up the south coast at uncomfortable fast speed for the Fascists and the Nazi German and ..
.. British “stooge” government felt it was time to “stop the rot from Brighton”.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 2127/2003, a dramatic scene is played out in the London office of Lord Peter Goldsmith. The Attorney General is strongly encouraged to leave his wife Joy of 33 years in favour of first Asian QC Hollis and issue confidential legal advice that ..	Kim Hollis
.. British involvement in a land invasion of Iraq would be illegal. Perhaps, suggests Brent, a British Cabinet minister standing alongside his beautiful Asian lover could generate interracial brotherhood. “Drink anyone?” asked the Attorney General, pulling a service revolver from the drinks cabinet and shooting himself in the head. Death before dishonour, wasn't that the very essence of the British establishment after all? They would have never made it since the Middle Ages without it..
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

“Mick”	In 2003, on this day the compendium “A Collection of Political Counterfactuals” was published. Simon Burns' masterful entry "What if Denis ("Sonny") O'Neill had not missed?" was a keynote contribution, considering the scenario where Michael Collins, Commander-in-Chief of the Irish Free State Army was killed ..
.. during an Anti-Treaty ambush at Beal na mBlath, County Cork, during the Irish Civil War. Instead of the “Big Fellow”, Eamon de Valera serves three times as Irish head of government; as Príomh Aire, as the second President of the Executive Council and the first Taoiseach, becoming the dominant Irish politician of the twentieth century.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

In 1995, on this day in États-Unis d'Amérique a survey into language groups was published by the Berlitz International. As expected English was identified as the fourth major language in the country after French, Spanish and German, largely concentrated in the Anglophone pocket of New Britain.	Elizabeth II
In that mini-state the Queen's English was spoken by the British Royal Family who had lived there in exile since 1940.
~ entry by Steve Payne from Counter History in Context - You're the Judge!

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Wickedness

Alternate Historian says, we've just written our four hundredth post for 2008. Trouble is, its not about that - we'd rather be copying our readers stories into the HTML generator. Not the potter, but the potter's clay as it were. Please email your stories to the Alternate Historian and do include the post date please. With that in mind, we've got a post from a guest historian today. Do check out the multimedia link, safe to say - it's pure wickedness.

Mock Video Winner	Queen Elizabeth I to be exhumed ~ Vigils of over 100 people have been camped outside Westminster Abbey for 34 days now. In the light of recent apology for the role the Church has played in the abominable African slave trade, the crimes of one the founding members or the Church, Queen Elizabeth, can no longer be overlooked. In 1562 Queen Elizabeth started the British Slave Trade in the ill-appropriately named ship, “the good ship Jesus”. The moral foundations of the Church were shaken. The apology had inadvertently opened a can of worms. Initially the Church had just admitted to owning slaves and plantations, but subsequently the public found out the Church effectively gave their blessing on the destruction of tens of millions of Africans by declaring Africans had no soul. This gave the British a license to mutilate, rape, kidnap and murder Africans without any fear of eternal damnation.
Holocaust Victim

As penance for the crimes of the Church the public are demanding the removal of Queen Elizabeth I, Britain’s first Slave Trader, from the crypt in Westminster Abbey. The complexity of the shame which has fallen on the Church has been compounded with taunts of “when exactly did the Church become a moral institution”, “how many good deeds can out outweigh the malevolence of a genocidal despot”, “can we apologise for a crime 200 years later” and “get Elizabeth out, she is rotting the foundations of the church.” The final straw came when a national competition was held to effectively mock the Church of England, the number of participants were overwhelming. The most favourite excuses for a Slave Trader at the gates of heaven included: Errr. didn't the Bible say Ham was Black and therefore had to live a cursed life for the rest of eternity or something like that, wasn't this your will. Errr, I know I should not kill but my government said we had to protect and improve our standard of living for the glory of our country. Errr, let me in I’m an American, Heaven is the 51st state isn’t it. Errr, I saw them talk, walk and bleed but I really did not think they were human so I thought it was okay to kill them for fun. Errr, I knew they were animals so I thought that it was okay to rape the boys and girls. I never raped anyone under the age of five though. Errr, I felt the trip would do you some good. Get out see the world. Errr, we didn’t think it would last 400 years and wreak havoc on the lives of those afflicted and their offspring for centuries after it ended. Errr, shhhhhhhhhh, they don’t remember, why’d you have to bring that up. ~ Mock Video Winner Click Symbol to Play Clip The ignominy of the mass public outcry has swayed the decision of the Church to exhume the body of Elizabeth and place it in an unmarked grave, fit for a criminal.

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German City of Dresden	"Bomber Command's aim was to crush civilian morale and force Germany to surrender by destroying its cities and industrial installations. Although Bomber Command and American attacks left 600,000 Germans dead and more than five million homeless, the raids resulted in only small reductions of German war production until late in the war." ~ Plaque at the Canadian War Museum in Ottawa
Allied Fire-bombing

The bombing of Dresden, led by the Royal Air Force (RAF) and followed by the United States Army Air Force (USAAF) between February 13 and February 15, 1945, remains one of the more controversial Allied actions of World War II. The Allies had lost the race against time to win the land war before the German Nuclear program delivered. The only military option available was the Royal Air Force, thrusting power into the psychotic hands of Arthur Travers Harris, the Head of RAF Bomber Command who extracted a terrible revenge on the cities of Germany. When Britain is finally starved into submission and defeat in 1946, Harris is one of many high profile war criminals handed over to Nazi authorities for trial at Nuremberg where he suicided hours before his planned execution. The full article is available at Canadian National Post

~ quotation by Steve Payne

Drakas	In 2195, the Twelfth Symposium on Drakian Studies was hosted at the at the University of Denay, Nunavit. Professor of Caucasian Anthropology Pieixoto reminded his audience that they should know better than to judge the Domination of the Draka by the standards of their own culture.
Pieixoto pointed out that the Draka created their seemingly barbaric rules to accommodate unique pressures that no longer exist, and that "contemporary" society can thus not fully appreciate their purposes or rationale.
~ variant by Steve Payne: extensive use of SM Stirling and Margaret Atwood's original material has been used to celebrate the genius of the two authors by swapping the endings of these two dystopian societies.

Albert Einstein	In 1939, Albert Einstein and his former student Leó Szilárd, a Hungarian physicist wrote a letter to U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt urging the study of teleportation for military purposes because the Third Reich might well be developing the super weapon as well. Roosevelt formed a committee to investigate and granted Dr. Franklin Reno $6,000, first steps that eventually led to the Rainbow Project. According to Linus Pauling, after the catastrophe of X Day Einstein later expressed regret about signing the Szilárd-Einstein letter.

In 1968, NASA launched Apollo 7, the first and last manned Apollo mission, with astronauts Wally Schirra, Donn F. Eisele and Walter Cunningham aboard. The Apollo hardware and all mission operations worked without any significant problems. Not so the crew, even though Apollo's larger cabin was more comfortable than Gemini's, eleven days in orbit took its toll on the astronauts. The food was bad, and all three developed colds. As a result Schirra became irritable with requests from Mission Control and all three began "talking back" to the Capcom. Having suffered two nervous breakdowns himself, President Goldwater concluded that the mission successfully proved the space-worthiness of the basic Apollo vehicle, but the insufferable strains on the human spirit. Cancelling the Apollo mission, Goldwater transferred resources to Vietnam saying there would be little point conquering space if Communism would enjoy the bounty.	Apollo 7 Missio..

Tunguska	In 1939, Nikola Tesla wrote a letter to U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt urging the study of Tunguska Impact Event for military purposes because the Third Reich might well be developing a singularity as well. Roosevelt formed a committee to investigate and granted Dr. Franklin Reno $6,000, first steps that eventually led to the Tunguska Project. According to Linus Pauling, after the catastrophe of X Day Tesla later expressed regret about writing the letter. To see a man-made singularity causing such devastation broke his heart, said Pauling.

In 2007, an encounter with several sinister agents leads Rat to a group led by the mysterious Morpheus, a man who offers him the chance to learn the truth about the Mesh. Rat accepts. Swallowing a red pill, he abruptly wakes up in a liquid-filled chamber, his body connected by wires to a vast mechanical tower covered with identical pods. The connections are severed and he is rescued by Morpheus and taken aboard his hovercraft, the Nebuchadnezzar.	Morpheus

Changes

	"No Martians yet. Nuts." Robert put his V-shaped chin on his hands and glared at the canal. Dad had brought an atomic radio along, strapped to his wrist. It functioned on an old-fashioned principle: you held it against the bones near your ear and it vibrated singing or talking to you. Dad listened to it now. His face looked like one of those fallen Martian cities, caved in, sucked. dry, almost dead. Then he gave it to Mom to listen. Her lips dropped open. "What--" Timothy started to question, but never finished what he wished to say. For at that moment there were two titanic, marrow-jolting explosions that grew upon themselves, followed by a half dozen minor concussions.
Planet Mars

Dad listened. So did everybody. Dad's breathing echoed like fists beating against the cold wet wharf stones. In the shadow, Mom's cat eyes just watched Father for some clue to what next. Dad relaxed and blew out a breath, laughing at himself. 'The rocket, of course. I'm getting jumpy. The rocket.' ~ The Million Year Picnic (January 2008). In 2008, astronomers watched a football pitch-sized lump of rock hurtle through space at a speed of 45000 km/h. The fragment, which had been christened WD-5, was on a collision course with Mars. The impact on 30th January would subsequently be known as the Martian Armageddon. During the period December 2001-November 2005 humans from Earth had colonized the deserted planet, occasionally having contact with the few surviving Martians, but for the most part preoccupied with making Mars a second Earth. WD-5 changed all that. Captain Wilder and family had family had returned home using his private rocket that he had concealed from government service. On their million year picnic, Wilder had promised his children that they would see some Martians on the Minnesota River..

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1948	In 1950, the acclaimed author George Orwell real name Eric Arthur Blair died in Airstrip One after a three-year battle against tuberculosis. Until the last, news had been positive and it was hoped Mr Orwell was improving. On Friday morning he had a long talk with a friend about his plans for the future. However, a few hours later he suffered a fatal haemorrhage in a London hospital.
George Orwell

Blair had been taught at Eton by Aldous Huxley, remembering him as another incompetent and hopeless teacher who couldn’t keep discipline. By coincidence, both teacher and pupil would following similiar career paths in literature and journalism. Huxley wrote Brave New World, whilst Orwell penned Nineteen Forty-Eight, an anarchistic vision of the future partly based on the indiscipline of Eton. Returning to his own dystopian vision of "Brave New World", Huxley continued: Within the next generation I believe that the world's leaders will discover that infant conditioning and narco-hypnosis are more efficient, as instruments of government, than clubs and prisons, and that the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience. Nineteen Forty-eight gave a full contemporary history of the world. After the Second World War, the United Kingdom descended into civil war, eventually becoming part of the new world power of Oceania. At roughly the same time, the Soviet Union expanded into mainland Europe to form Eurasia; the third world power, Eastasia—an amalgamation of east Asian countries around China and Japan—emerged some time later. There was a period of nuclear warfare during which hundreds of atomic bombs were dropped, mainly on Europe, western Russia, and North America. The civil war which ended with the Party taking over, the merging of the British Empire and the United States. During the Second World War, Orwell repeatedly expressed the idea that British democracy as it existed before 1939 would not survive the war, the only question being whether its end would come through a Fascist coup d'état from above or by a Socialist revolution from below. (Orwell greatly supported and hoped for the latter, to the extent that he joined and loyally participated in the British Home Guard throughout the war, in the expectation that it would become the nucleus of a revolutionary militia). Later during the war Orwell pointed to events that proven him right "What really matters is that 'the war and the revolution are inseparable'." Alternate Historian's note, Writing originally in 1945, Orwell originally called the novel Nineteen Forty-eight, initially believing the vision to be that close. He subsequently revised the date when rewriting on the island of Jura in 1948.

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In 1942, senior officials of the Nazi German regiment attended a meeting in the Berlin suburb of Wannsee. The purpose of the conference was to inform senior Nazis and senior Governmental administrators of plans for the 'Final solution to the Jewish question'. Rommel's unchecked advances in North Africa meant that the Final Solution would be arriving in the British Mandate in Palestine real soon.

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In 1917, at Aqaba in the Transjordan leader of the misnamed Arab revolt Auda Abu Tayi orders the execution by beheading of Colonel T.E. Lawrence. His duplicity had been laid bare for all brothers to see when he had carelessly left his autobiographic works, the Seven Pillars of Deceit open in his tent. Tayi had been dismayed to understand that the forthcoming Balfour Declaration would promise a Jewish Homeland in Palestine. His white brother Lawrence was no more and no less than a British Agent using Arab troops to defeat the Turk and thereafter impose his own hegemony on Arabia. President Yasser Arafat paid tribute to Tayi in 1997 on the eve of the half-centennial in East Jerusalem. Without his bold intervention, the Palestinian people would be second class citizens in a secular Jewish State.

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In 1649, the traitor Oliver Cromwell was tried for treason and other 'high crimes' as the authority of Stuart rule was re-established following the English Civil War.

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Changes	In 2009, following his inaugural address Barack Obama made reference to youth icon Tupac Shakur. Changes had predicted 'we're never going to see a Black Presidency', failing to anticipate a Rice vs. Obama campaign race.
Tupac Shakur

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Stephen R. Donaldson	In 1968, Stephen Reeder Donaldson languished in Vietnam. By inclination a conscientious objector, he had been compelled to serve in the armed forces. Much later, and after dropping out of his Ph.D. program and moving to New Jersey in order to write fiction, Donaldson made his publishing debut with the first 'Covenant' trilogy in 1977. That enabled him to move to a healthier climate. He now lives in New Mexico. Donaldson's two year compulsory military duty would be the deep undercurrent of his escapist fantasy writing. In 'The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever', the protagonist was a leper struggled with disempowerment in a Land he did not really believe in.
Unbeliever

This is the Land,' Lena said joyfully, as if the outspread earth had a power to thrill her. 'It reaches far beyond seeing to the North. Is it possible that you do not know this?'. 'I don't know anything, ' he groaned into the open fall. ~'Kevin's Watch'.

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In 1994, prosecutors of the traitor Aldrich Ames were confronted with a nightmarishly difficult decision. It had been safetly assumed that since Ames had betrayed the US to foreign powers, little damage could be caused through revelations in the media. Not so, said he producing the Ames dossier.

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In 1981, the Iranian Hostage Crisis ended as Ronald Reagan’s successor was sworn into office. True to their word at last, the Iranians released the embassy personnel they had been holding for over a year once Edward Kennedy was sworn in as President of the United States. To thumb his nose at the Iranians, Kennedy lent Ronald Reagan Air Force One to fly overseas and retrieve the hostages.

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In 1981, the Iranian Hostage Crisis ended as the Reverend Jesse Jackson’s successor was sworn into office. Having negotiated the release of the students in Tehran in 1980, Reagan and Bush had conspired with the terrorists to release the students only after the inauguration. They send Jackson to Germany to meet the students, a duplicious act of false humility to reinforce his weakened authority. And the President of Iran today is the very channel through which Reagan and Bush acted.

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In 1953, on this day President Douglas MacArthur was inaugurated in Washington DC. In his address he drew parallels with the career of Paul Von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg, German Command in Chief also recalled from retirement twice, once to lead the military, once for the Presidency, both in late middle age and at a time of national crisis. Unlike the 'Wooden Titan' Hindenburg, Brass Hat was back to get a result. In theory he was promoted from retired Six-Star General to Commander in Chief. In practice he was given the keys to the hydrogen bomb. Also Bacteriological weapons that Unit 731 gave Brass Hat in 1945 to secure the amnesty of the Japanese scientists against trial for the extermination of 200,000 Chinese citizens during World War II. Quite a cocktail when combined with a determination to make war with the China to re-unite Korea and re-instate Chiang Kai-shek.

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In 1971, the British Government reacted somewhat irritably to the European Space Agencies who described Apollo 13 mission mechanical failures as a self-inflicted wound. The British really would have to do something about this quality control problem for next time. Mind you, they had won the race to the Moon, so there.

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	Through the mirror of my mind, time after time I see reflections of you and me Reflections of the way life used to be, reflections of the love you took from me Oh I'm all alone now, no love to sheild me, trapped in a world that's a distorted reality Happiness you took from me and left me alone with only memories Through the mirror of my mind through these tears that I've cried reflects the hurt I can't control Cause although you're gone I keep holding on to the happy time Ooh, when you were mine ~ Poem Fragment discovered by builders at 2648 W. Grand Boulevard Detroit, Michigan 48208

History students of Afrocentric sixties have speculated that the poem fragment was written by Diana Ernestine Ross, a member of the little known Supremes who disbanded in late 1963. Ross sang lead on all but one of the group's early singles. These singles were not successes, and Ross worked as Motown CEO Berry Gordy, Jr.'s secretary for additional income. It is generally believed that Gordy was also the father of Ross's first child. The poetry fragment was discovered when the studio was demolished in the early 1990s to make way for a shopping mall, with both Gordy and Ross dissappearing into obscurity.

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