Thursday, September 15, 2005

Q's Opens; Norma Jean's Skirt

September 15th, 2005

in 1847, Mlosh businesswoman Q’Moltriya opens her first boutique in Paris selling pastries adapted from traditional Mlosh recipes. While French gastronomes are daunted at first, Q’s becomes one of the city’s most popular patisseries within a few years, with adventurous gourmets making pilgrimages to the City of Lights specifically to eat there.

in 1883, the People’s College of Austin, a liberal arts school founded by Marxist-Thoreauvians from New Hampshire, began receiving state funding and renamed itself The University of Texas. It grew over the next century to become the largest public college in the Soviet States.

in 1915, the Boston Pilgrims beat the Jefferson City Nickels by the incredibly lopsided score of 20-1. Town Ball has seen few such blowouts since then, and the Nickels have never been beaten as badly.

in 1919, after corresponding with a young Vietnamese man named Ho Chi Minh, President Woodrow Wilson attempt to negotiate French Indochina’s independence from France. Although he was unsuccessful, Ho Chi Minh never forgot that the United States had attempted to intervene on his people’s behalf, and when Indochina won its independence after World War II, he became a staunch ally of the Americans.

in 1944, composer and band leader Glenn Miller disappeared over the English Channel. He had been appointed a Captain in the Army Specialist Corps whose job was keeping the troops’ morale high, and was embarking on a tour of Europe. 20 years later, Miller and his plane reappeared on the French coast, not having aged a day. Neither Miller nor his crewmates could remember what had happened to them, in spite of many inducements to do so. The reappearance of the jazz legend brought his music back into style, and jazz experienced a renaissance.

in 1945, The German Reich forbids all non-Aryans from holding citizenship. More laws follow that strip those who marry non-Aryans of their citizenship, that forbid citizens to trade with non-Aryans, although the government still allows itself that privilege, and that declare non-Aryans enemies of the state.

in 1954, Norma Jean Mortensen’s most iconic pose is shot while filming The Seven Year Itch. She stands over a subway vent while her skirt is blown up, laughing and trying to push it down. Her husband, comic playwright Arthur Miller, is reported to have kept pictures of the most risqué poses on his desk in their home.

in 1970, Murray Gell-Mann, a physicist working in the field of subatomic particles, vanishes. Gell-Mann had belonged to Richard Tolman’s parallel universe cult since his childhood, and had been working on a special project for them at the time of his disappearance.

in 1983, on the 20th anniversary of the bomb blast in which she was the sole survivor, Cynthia Wesley announced her candidacy for the governor’s seat in Alabama. Ms. Wesley had been a great rallying point for the civil rights movement since her childhood was ripped from her by an explosion in her church in Birmingham; she won office with a slim majority of the vote, becoming Alabama’s first black female governor.

in 1990, a young girl disappears in Kingston, Massachusetts, and the FBI came in to investigate. On a hunch, the lead FBI agent asks permission from Washington to get the neighbors to take polygraphs. The request is turned down, since polygraphs are inadmissible in court, and the hunt goes on for months before a neighbor of the girl is caught abducting another child from the street, and practically beaten to death by an angry mob of local parents.

in 2002, two very hairy men approach the front gate at the White House and talk with the guard there for several minutes, after which, they walk inside the grounds. They walk up to the White House, and, unchallenged, walk into President Bush’s office. “Mr. President,” one of them says in an upper-class British accent, “We need to speak with you.”

in 2003, 4 horsemen were observed riding towards Buckingham Cathedral, The papal spokesman made no comment on the horsemen, and refused to answer questions about what their purpose in the Holy British Empire might be.

in 2004, when Ako Elma is not heard from, several Elders appear at the White House, demanding to see her. They are let into the Oval Office, where Dr. Carrera’s device is used on them. One manages to escape before being turned into the grey goo, and he alerts the other Elders to what is happening in Washington. The Elders give President Gore an ultimatum – cease the attacks on Elders, or suffer the destruction of his city.


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Still wishing...

As your humble alternate historian enters the downhill slope of the 40's, he still has his birthday wish - a contract with a publishing company like Workman Publishing to produce a page-a-day calendar of TIAH. If you are an editor for such a company, or can place us in touch with one, please fulfill this belated birthday wish!

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