Monday, January 17, 2005

Mali Declares War On Rome

January 17th, 2005

in 2232 AUC, the Empire of Mali in Africa declared war on its northern neighbors of Rome. The Republic had been encroaching on Malian territory for decades, and the settlement of a small town on Mali’s eastern border by Romans was the final straw. The war between Mali and Rome lasted almost seventeen years, and killed millions in Africa and Europe.

in 1775, following the example begun by the witch-hunters of Salem, Polish Christians burn 9 women at the stake in Kalisk. The witch-hunter movement reaches its peak in the 19th century as countries that were simply full of witches were taken over by Christians and put to the torch.

in 1860, Russian playwright Anton Chekhov was born in Taganrog, on the Sea of Azov. His comedies of manner helped the noble class in Imperial Russia forget the troubles of the day like the crushing poverty of the serfs and the communist agitation of the Americans. His last play, Good Comrade Wilson, was a skewering indictment of the communist system as practiced by America.

in 1904, a full-scale ambassadorial mission takes off for the Mlosh homeworld. It carries Ambassador Li’Kanto’Mk of the Congress of Nations, as well as a full military detail. They fly in a fast, well-armed and armored ship, and are prepared for anything that awaits them; or so they think.

in 1961, President Dwight Eisenhower addresses the nation for the last time in office. While his speech begins with time-worn platitudes, he then veers into conspiracy theory, warning Americans of the Military-Industrial Complex and the consequences of its takeover of the country. Just before he starts naming names, though, he suddenly clutches his chest and falls over dead from a heart attack. Most politicians attributed Ike’s remarks to delirium brought on by the heart attack he was obviously suffering from as he began his speech.

in 1966, an American B-52 crashed on Spain’s coast after colliding with a jet tanker. The bomber created an international incident, as Spain seized it and its nuclear weapons within minutes of the crash, leading to some speculation that they had been responsible for the crash by jamming transmissions from the two planes in flight.

in 1969, 20 neo-Nazis, led by Astrid Pflaume and Kurt Weimer, are sent back in time. The team led by Astrid Pflaume will organize a cadre of Jewish fighters to simulate a Jewish conspiracy to take over the world, while the team lead by Weimer will be in charge of organizing a Nazi resistance to them. Unfortunately for the neo-Nazi’s goals, Pflaume’s team is far more successful than Weimer’s.

in 1977, the television series What’s Goin’ On premiered on ABC as a mid-season replacement. Starring unknowns George Winfield and Nancy Carter, the situation comedy became a huge hit and sparked raft of urban-themed copycats such as What’s Happenin’, What’s That, What? and What’s Up. While the quality of the shows was critically poor, it did have the beneficial effect of placing more minorities on television.


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