Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Beer & The Banjo Clock

February 8th, 2005

in 9816 BCE, Egyptian taskmasters, looking for a way to keep their slaves both happy and nourished, concoct a beverage that is essentially liquid fermented bread, from grains, yeast and water. Slaves cannot stomach the bitter, foul drink, and the recipe is lost to time.

in 1692, Abigail Williams and Betty Paris uncover a coven of witches within the community of Salem, Massachusetts. For their great service to the crown, they are made Royal Witch-Hunters for the colony on reaching their majority. Through their diligence, hundreds of witches are driven from Massachusetts.

in 1725, Pyotr the Great, last Tsar of Russia, died in captivity in Istanbul. He had been captured during a war with the Ottoman Empire in 1710, and held in disgrace ever since. His death finally quieted loyalists who had been attempting to overthrow the Ottomans and restore him to his throne.

in 1802, the banjo clock is patented by Simon Willard of Massachusetts. This phenomenally successful product led to other musical instruments being made into clocks; antique guitar clocks from this era often sell for thousands of dollars at auctions.

in 12-13-12-5-8, Emperor Calzotz allows the conquered northern nations to use their land in their traditional ways, instead of assigning nobles to rule over them. This act of mercy pays off for Ouezteca in reduced rebellions, and is continued by his successors.

in 1952, Juan Escobar, a man who has made a small living studying the paranormal in Mexico and eastern Europe, hears of the destruction of a small diner in Bryan, Texas by a tall, dark German man. He has heard of this man before, the Baron von Todt, and immediately travels to Texas to find him.

in 1969, Wilhelm Schoemann returns from his trip to see himself in the alternate, Nazi-dominated timeline he has created. He has also been to see himself in his own past; he radios Faisal Yassin, waiting with Israeli agents, that “the door is closed.”

in 2003, the soviet of Montana surrenders to the Soviet States of America, reducing the People’s Republic of America to Idaho and Washington. With all hope of resistance against the S.S.A. crushed by the loss of their fellow soviets, they send an embassy to Washington D.C. to negotiate for peace.

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