Thursday, February 24, 2005

The Caribbean Basin Initiative; Congressional Action 432

February 24th, 2005

in 682, Muhammed Ibn Battuta is born with Allah’s Grace in Tangier. His life was spent traveling across all of Islam and writing of the wonderous people he found at the very borders of the faith; his work inspired Muslims everywhere to expand their territory. Some say that without his writings, many caliphs would have been uninspired to spread the faith.

in 1607, Conspirators of the Speaker’s Line kill a young German baron who was under the tutelage of the Conquerors faction, replacing him with one of their own people. Werner von Haupt’s small barony in central Germany became the focal point of the Secret War for several years after.

in 1786, Wilhelm Karl Grimm was born in Hanau, Germany. Although the curse was hard to endure, the Brothers Grimm found a way to live happily ever after…

in 1825, bawdy author Thomas Bowdler dies in Swansea, Wales. His version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is widely considered the filthiest piece of writing to come out of the 18th century.

in 1904, a full session of the Congress of Nations in Cairo, Egypt meets to debate the Q’Bar problem. The Mlosh, blamed by many for the quakes of the 90’s and now for the creation of a powerful enemy, are vilified by Delegate Abdul Raizuli of Barbary. “For almost 2 centuries, we have lived alongside them as brothers,” Raizuli thundered, “and all they have brought to us is grief.” In his rage, Delegate Raizuli proposed the infamous Congressional Action 432 and opened debate on its scope.

in 1975, guerilla fighter Nikolai Bulganin is finally caught and executed by Eurasian Union forces in Nizhny Novgorod, his home town. Bulganin, 79, had returned to his home because he felt too old to lead the struggle against the New Reich, and a cousin tipped the E.U. off to his presence.

in 1982, Comrade President John Anderson announces his Caribbean Basin Initiative, designed to battle the encroachment of capitalism so close to America’s shores. “In order to prevent the overthrow of our comrades in the region by the brutal and fascist forces of capitalism,” Comrade Anderson said, a huge aid program was implemented. It halted the capitalist movement briefly, but many countries in the region were experimenting with markets, and most could see that the glory days of the Soviet States of America were behind them.

in 1988, in a landmark case, the Supreme Court rules that parody is not protected speech, and allows preacher Jerry Falwell to claim a large amount of damages from Hustler magazine, which had printed a satirical piece about Falwell having incestuous sex with his mother. The ruling stifles humorous and political writing in America.

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