Thursday, January 27, 2005

His Vorpal Blade Went Snicker-Snack

January 27th, 2005

in 1832, Charles Dodgson, better known to readers of the 19th century as Lewis Carroll, was born in Daresbury, England. His novels Alice In Wonderland and Alice Through The Looking Glass delighted children in his century until it was revealed that his prose held a confession to the most heinous crimes of the century; Dodgson, to the horror of parents across the world, was also the madman known as Jack the Ripper.

in 1904, the embassy ship from the Congress of Nations went into orbit around the Mlosh homeworld. The dozens of Mlosh aboard the ship clamored to volunteer for the shuttle that would descend to the surface, but the only one that went was the ambassador himself. Li’Kanto’Mk became the first Mlosh from earth to set foot back on their ancestral homeworld.

in 1943, American volunteers with the Greater Zionist Resistance fight German Underground units for the first time in St. Petersberg, Russia. These daring young people manage to fight back the horrendous assaults of the G.U. until nuclear weapons are used.

in 1967, a fire erupts inside the Apollo 1 command module as tests are being conducted prior to allowing the astronauts inside. Although the astronauts escape unharmed, Apollo 1 is destroyed, and America’s lunar exploration program is set back 6 months trying to find out why the fire happened. It was eventually discovered to be faulty wiring inside the command module.

in 1975, Senator Frank Church of Idaho is killed in a car crash just as he was to begin a Senate investigation into possibily illegal activities by the FBI and CIA. Fortunately, Senator John Smith of Michigan was able to step into the leadership role and clear the two intelligence agencies of any and all wrongdoing. He was later named head of the CIA.

in 1985, President Ralph Shephard sends his Alien Sedition program to Congress for ratification. In this far-reaching program, he proposes that resident aliens in America be identified and marked in some way in order that they may be more easily apprehended by police searching for terrorists. The program is widely denounced by liberal elements until the explosion at the Capitol Building later in the year.

in 1369, Somali chieftain Muhamed Siyad Barre flees before a combined Islamic force invading the nation to bring order out of the chaos he has led his small nation into. The success of the Somalian venture leads many of the larger nations under Allah to form an organization that will allow them to intervene in nations that have spun out of control; this organization is now known as The United Caliphates.

in 2001, the People’s Republic of America is officially recognized as an independent nation by Great Britain, France, Germany and Russia. The monarchies begin funneling money and materiel into the breakaway soviets, hoping to lessen the power of the Soviet States of America.


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4 comments:

Alien Truther said...

Sometimes I don't always make things up.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's read "Light-Hearted Friend."

Just insane. Not necessarily the most insane Jack the Ripper theory out there, but it's in the running.

Anonymous said...

I thought the Wikipedia entry on the theory was quite informative.

- Martey

Anonymous said...

I wish the Apoolo 1 event would have ended up like you said...

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.