London's Reconstruction

The state of TIAH

September 20th, 2006

in 1575, Queen Elizabeth of England sits upon the throne in her new Palace of London, celebrating the end of the great city's reconstruction. Although the work of recovering from the Aztec invasion has been difficult, Elizabeth's steadfast determination that London should rise again kept the population focused on their central goal, and the rebuilt London bore few scars from that time. Only the memorial Tower of the Sun evidenced the darkness within all Londoners hearts towards the North American empire. The queen uses the occasion to host ambassadors from France and Spain, as the three countries have become close allies, and she discusses with them the possibility of a punitive expedition against Mectezuma. Although eager for vengeance against the Aztec emperor, they all come to the conclusion that they would suffer from the same disadvantage that he did during the occupation – supply lines too long to support an invasion force. They do decide to collaborate in sending a small band of colonists to live with the Iroquois, who live far to the north of the Aztecs. If an alliance could be made with them, perhaps revenge could be had, after all.

in 1963, President John F. Kennedy of the US proposes a cooperative mission to the moon between his country and the Soviet Union. Coming less than a year after the hostile atmosphere of the missile crisis in Cuba, it took Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev by surprise, but he quickly agreed. The cost of their two space programs was prohibitive in both countries, and by pooling their resources, they were able to accomplish far more. This massive thawing of the Cold War had many side benefits; Khruschev became a liberalizing force in the USSR, loosening decades of tight-fisted Communist control. Kennedy was able to free money from the military budget and spend it on social programs in the US, lessening the burden of poverty in his country. And, in 1966, American astronaut Jim Lovell and Russian cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov set foot on earth's satellite with their immortal statement, “We come in peace, for all mankind.”

in 2005, Javier Silverman-Lord was born in Bryan, Texas. After his parents moved back to their native Canada in his teen years, Silverman-Lord became interested in Canadian politics and served as an intern in the Canadian Parliament several summers. He came to know many politicians, which came in handy when he ran for his own seat in 2040. After several terms as an MP, Silverman-Lord moved up the ranks of the Liberal Party and was elected Prime Minister in 2058, the first American citizen to hold the position. His opposition had tried to use his dual citizenship against him in the campaign, but Silverman-Lord described it as an advantage - “Our two countries are close in geography, history and heritage; why not have a leader who represents that?”

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A Hero, A Villain

The state of TIAH

September 19th, 2006

Alternate Historian's Note: In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, use this website to translate whatever you need to pirate talk - harr, mateys!

in 1777, rebel General Benedict Arnold holds his tongue rather than antagonize his superior, General Horatio Gates, as British forces attack the Americans at Freeman's Farm. Arnold had suggested a plan of attack that Gates considered foolhardy, sending their troops to attack the British center column while using riflemen on their right flank. Instead, Gates held the colonial forces in one spot, and the British cut them to pieces. Gates finally ordered a withdrawal after it was obvious that the British had won the day. Arnold sent a rather scathing report of the situation to the Continental Congress, where it was agreed that Gates had acted foolishly. The Congress stripped Gates of his command and elevated Arnold to the position he had desired all along, command of his own troops. Benedict Arnold's name soon became synonymous with victory – the brilliant general was the colonials' greatest asset, and General George Washington called him “the mighty sword of our freedom.” After the war's end in 1781, General Arnold entered politics and was elected governor of Connecticut, and then its senator. He ran for the presidency once, in 1804, but narrowly lost to Thomas Jefferson of Virginia. His name will always be remembered as that of a true patriot.

in 1827, hotheaded frontiersman Jim Bowie stabs a banker to death in Alexandria, Louisiana, and is promptly arrested for murder. Bowie and his brother, Rezin, had been trouble ever since their family had come west from Kentucky, and officials in Alexandria were itching to put him away for something. This was the first of his many brawls to turn lethal, and charges were brought against him immediately. During the hasty trial, his surly attitude, combined with his unsavory reputation as an illegal slave-trader and land speculator, convinced the jury that he was a character that needed to be put down for the good of the community, and he was sentenced to be hung. His brother tried to arrange a jail-break for him, but was captured and jailed, himself. The judge presiding at the hanging, who had known the Bowie family, said, “If only the young man had directed his energies towards more wholesome pursuits, he might have been a man of worth.”

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Elizabeth Returns To London

The state of TIAH

September 18th, 2006

in 1571, Queen Elizabeth returns to the ruins of London. The dead lie so thick on the the streets that it is hard to move about without stepping on a corpse, but she stoically tours the city, giving comfort to the few survivors that evaded the Aztec occupiers. She orders the enemy sailors and soldiers that were captured in the battle off of the country's northern coast to be put to work rebuilding her country. She leaves the city afterwards, and tells her closest advisors that she cannot bear the thought of living in that formerly great city again. When they tell her that a different capitol can be built elsewhere in the country, she rebukes them, saying, “London is the beating heart of England, and no foreigner will ever be allowed to still that heart. London will rise again, and I shall sit upon my throne there, no matter what my personal feelings are.”

in 1961, Doctor Phillipe de la Roscaux pays what will be his last visit to the cave at Lascaux. When he goes to the forbidden passage to assure himself that it is sealed away from human eyes, an earthquake rumbles through the cave system, opening the passage and tumbling him into it. Just as de la Roscaux is regaining his footing, the last trembles of the quake seal him in. He cries out for help for hours, but no one hears. He does not die of thirst of hunger, though – his last few hours are ones of sheer terror that bring on a heart attack. He remains undisturbed in the forbidden passage for years, until the last person who had been given personal instructions by him about the passage leaves their employment in the cave, and new people are brought in to maintain the ancient wonder.

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Peace In The Middle East

The state of TIAH

September 17th, 2006

in 1571, the combined English, French and Spanish fleets smash into the Aztec ships attempting to leave Europe for their home back in North America. Emperor Mectezuma at first simply tries to outrun the Europeans, but the wind is against him, so he orders his sailors to “leave not a single ship on the water to show that these barbarians ever dared to challenge our might.” The Aztecs fought without mercy, but the Europeans were spurred by the outrage of London, and had the advantage of better knowledge of the coastal waters of Great Britain. As his fleet's numbers began to dwindle, Emperor Mectezuma ordered his ship's captain to leave the battle and continue sailing for home. The sight of the Emperor fleeing combat demoralized the Aztecs, and gave cheer to the Europeans, who redoubled their efforts. It is said that if the Emperor had stayed an hour or two longer, the tide would have turned in his favor, because the European fleets weren't doing as well further away from his ship; but near Mectezuma, his sailors weren't very successful. With the fleeing of Mectezuma, the Europeans were able to take the day. Over half of the Aztec ships were sunk in the battle, a dozen fled after the Emperor, and a score were taken captive by the Europeans.

in 1978, President Jimmy Carter of the United States forges a peace treaty between two implacable enemies, Egypt and Israel. With the signing of the accords at the White House, Israel exchanges the Sinai Peninsula for an alliance with the Egyptian people. Although the treaty is denounced by more radical Muslim nations, Egypt is ready to give up the useless struggles with Israel that they have been through over the last three decades. President Carter then goes to work on the issue of the Palestinians within Israel's occupied territories, and in 1979 comes up with a plan for two nations within a single border, in which local governments are chosen without reference to the nation they belong to, and Palestinians and Israelis live side by side. Derided as a Utopian fantasy at first, it gains more respect after Carter wins the Nobel Peace Prize for his work the previous year, and Yassir Arafat, leader of the Palestinian Liberation Organization, says that he will support the initiative. That November, when there are troubles around the American embassy in Iran, Arafat and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat step in to defuse the situation and keep the Americans in the Teheran embassy safe. The American people, grateful for this assistance, put great pressure on Israel to agree to the Two-State Solution, and in July of 1980, the lands of Israel and Palestine begin history anew. President Carter, having accomplished the minor miracle of peace in the Middle East, is reelected by an almost 2-to-1 majority in the 1980 elections, and uses his second term to promote anti-poverty measures in America and around the world. He left office with more good will worldwide than any president since Theodore Roosevelt.

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Elizabeth's Vow Of Vengeance

The state of TIAH

September 16th, 2006

in 1571, Queen Elizabeth receives the news of London's destruction at the hands of Aztec Emperor Mectezuma from a messenger who weeps openly when he tells her of the multitudes of the dead. She embraces him and tells him, “England shall be avenged for this, never fear. We shall rise from this day stronger than before, and we will make these barbarians pay a price most dear.” She orders all of the ships at England's command, which include over a dozen French gunboats, to sail after the retreating Aztec fleet. She is offered, much to her surprise, aid from the Spanish armada; the Spanish admiral in charge of the fleet, Jose Sanchez de la Gravina, was incensed at the betrayal of the Aztecs and their murder of Spanish soldiers. Elizabeth gratefully accepted the aid, which brought their numbers closer to the Aztecs'.

in 1955, the arguments of Doctor Phillipe de la Roscaux to close the cave at Lascaux finally win acceptance, and the archaeological committee in charge of the cave creates a mock-up in another location and closes the actual cave. Doctor de la Roscaux breathes a sigh of relief; he uses his influence to get people he knows into the cave maintenance positions that the Lascaux committee creates. He tells them of the secret passage, and warns them that this must be kept from the public at all costs.

in 1982, the Lebanese Christian militia known as the Phalangists are ordered to guard West Beirut while the occupying Israeli army searches nearby refugee camps at Sabra and Shatila for terrorists. The Phalangists ask to be allowed to search the camps themselves, but the Israeli command fears that they want revenge for the recent death of the Christian leader Bachir Gemayel, and refuses. For good reason, as it turns out, because they are soon called back to West Beirut from their search missions in order to stop the Phalangists from attacking unarmed civilians in the suburb. The Israelis are soon forced to realize that the militia is an expensive ally – they create more enemies than they defeat. They disband the Phalangists and incorporate them into a support force led by the Israeli Defense Force in order to calm the civil war raging in Lebanon.

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Sacrifice Of London

The state of TIAH

September 15th, 2006

in 1571, the warriors of Mectezuma gather in London, much to the dismay of the city's inhabitants. All of the Aztec emperor's ships also wait for his orders in the harbors of the city. When the last of his warriors arrives, Mectezuma addresses them, saying, “We came to this land to punish the English barbarians for their arrogance. Although we are mighty, and we have defeated them soundly, there are too few of us to control them. We cannot trust the Spanish dogs who have pledged their loyalty to us, because their loyalties are like the wind. Therefore, we will leave this land today – but there will be a sacrifice before we depart.” The Aztecs then turned on the citizens of London and the Spanish soldiers who were ostensibly their allies, and killed indiscriminately for hours. Refugees streamed out of the city, but thousands were slaughtered in the bloodbath before Mectezuma and his warriors set sail for the west.

in 1963, a bomb planted in a church in Birmingham, Alabama kills four young girls who had been attending services there. This crime horrifies the black and white community in the city, and 4 members of the Ku Klux Klan are arrested for the crime. Although there is some resistance to their prosecution at first, the image of the poor girls who had been killed haunts the city, and the District Attorney is forced to bring them to trial. He assigns the case to a young man who had, in the past, been very reliable in not securing convictions against Klansmen. This case is different for Ron Hartman, though, and he enters into it with all his heart. “These four innocent children,” he tells the jury in his summation, “deserve justice. I ask you today to be blind to the color of their skin, and give them what they need to set their souls to rest. The world is watching how you vote today; don't make us ashamed.” The jury, after many hours of very heated deliberation, did finally return a guilty verdict on the defendants, and the judge sentenced them to 10 years, a light sentence that Hartman protested to no avail. After this case, Hartman left the DA's office to work for the civil rights movement.

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McKinley Assassination Attempt

The state of TIAH

September 14th, 2006

in 1901, President William McKinley recovers from the minor gunshot wound he had suffered on a visit to Buffalo, when an anarchist had taken an ill-aimed shot at him. A soldier who had been posted as security had noted the anarchist's nervous attitude, and just in the nick of time, had struck away the assassin's pistol. President McKinley was grazed across the shoulder, a painful but non-fatal hit. As soon as he recovered, he returned to the public eye, holding a reception in the White House for business leaders from around the country. Although he was urged by his advisors to tighten up on his personal security after this, he refused, saying, “Should I deny the public access to me, then this little pipsqueak of a man will have accomplished his task just as surely as if I were dead; for, if I cannot be seen among men without guards dogging my every step, then I have given in to the fear he wished to generate.” McKinley, already a popular leader, grew even more so after this incident, and he used this newly-earned status to push through international agreements that he himself would have found unthinkable a few years before. His second brush with death – his first had been as a soldier in the Civil War – found him rethinking many of his old positions. He had been known as a friend of business, but now he took an interest in the nascent labor movement in the country, and started urging conciliation with strikers, rather than the violent union-busting tactics that had been standard practice at that time. When his second term was ending in 1904, he let it be known that he would support the progressive Governor Robert La Follette of Wisconsin for the Republican nomination to the presidency. With McKinley's aid, La Follette won a hard election against Democrat Alton Parker and the Socialist Eugene Debs, who captured over a million votes, surprising everyone. La Follette, with no serious opposition on his right, but plenty to his left, combined many popular moderate leftist positions in his platform, and guided America into an era where business and labor found common ground. He appointed former President McKinley to the position of Special Labor Advisor, which evolved over time into a cabinet position. La Follette proved even more popular than his predecessor, and won not just one reelection, but an unprecedented 3rd term in 1912.

in 1951, during one of his now-monthly visits to the cave in Lascaux, France, Doctor Phillipe de le Roscaux sees that he can no longer block the narrow passage into the forbidden chamber that he has protected for 11 years. Although not as thin as he was in his youth, he forces himself once more into the chamber and looks at the strange art that had frightened him for so long. The primitive images again take on a life of their own, swirling in his brain, forcing him to conclusions that cannot be escaped, and he barely managed to stifle the scream that they brought again to his throat. He scrambled out of the chamber and spent hours in the sunlight outside of the cave formulating a plan. He looked at the huge number of people visiting the cave, knowing that they were steered away from that horrible chamber by the archaeological staff running the tours, and thought that they could be used to close the cave. He would argue that the number of visitors was deteriorating the cave walls. He resolved to push this with the committee in charge of the cave and not give in until there was no longer a chance that a stray visitor could stumble into that strange and terrifying passage.

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Attica

The state of TIAH

September 13th, 2006

in 1947, Doctor Phillipe de le Roscaux, who had been an assistant at the discovery of the Lascaux cave paintings 7 years before, returns to the cave to check on the seal of the secret passage. He has done this every few months for 7 years; like that old German professor, he was determined that what he had seen in that passage should never be seen by men again. When he sees that the seal is starting to deteriorate, he liberally applies some of the concrete that he has brought with him to cover up the patches that are opening. His visits have become more frequent because the last few times, his patches have begun breaking more quickly. In the back of his mind, he knows that he will eventually have to find some way to deal with what was on the other side of the wall; for now, though, he applies his patch and returns to Paris.

in 1971, Governor Nelson Rockefeller of New York orders the retaking of the Attica Prison in Buffalo. The prison had erupted in riots four days before, and several guards and prison employees had been taken hostage. Governor Rockefeller, who was considered something of a liberal in the Republican Party, felt that decisive action could bolster his chances of challenging President Nixon for the Republican presidential nomination the next year. When the bloody strike at the prison ends in dozens dead, Rockefeller tells the press, “We're not going to sit around and let criminals make the first move anymore. We're taking the fight to them.” His harsh attitudes do, indeed, sit very well with Republican voters, especially after President Nixon's election shenanigans are revealed early in the campaign in '72, forcing him to drop out of the running. Rockefeller then faces George McGovern in the general election, and loses by such a narrow margin that he challenges the results. Although count after count is upheld, he maintains, like Nixon did about the 1960 election, that the Democrats stole the election. Republicans across the country picked up the mantra, and President McGovern was dogged by it all 4 years he was in office. Rockefeller ran against him again in 1976, and won by less than 10,000 votes. Since President McGovern had been unable to end the war in Vietnam due to hard Republican opposition in Congress, President Rockefeller enters office determined to get America out of the quicksand it had found itself mired in. Before peace negotiations can accomplish anything, though, South Vietnam is overrun by North Vietnamese forces, and American troops are forced to flee the country or be decimated. America's first military defeat becomes a noose around President Rockefeller's neck, keeping him from accomplishing anything of substance in office. He reluctantly relinquishes the Republican nomination for the office in the 1980 elections to Representative John Anderson of Illinois, who tells the electorate, “The Republican Party has become too entwined with the interests of the rich and powerful, like our current president. It's time for some plain old Americans to run things again.” Although this sentiment does well, it doesn't do well enough to keep Senator Edward Kennedy from winning the election handily. The first brother of a president to win office in his own right proves that he was not coasting on reputation; his two terms leave America more prosperous and strong than it had been since Johnson left office.

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The Cave Of Lascaux

The state of TIAH

September 12th, 2006

in 1571, Aztec Emperor Mectezuma is attacked at his headquarters in the Tower of London by a small group of Londoners and Spanish soldiers. Mectezuma suffers cuts all across his body from the rebels' blades, but his personal guard are able to save him and drive away the assassins. Although his first impulse is to order genocide against the citizens of London and the Spanish soldiers who are guarding them, he realizes that he doesn't have enough warriors of his own to hold the city. For the first time since he landed on British soil, Mectezuma contemplates withdrawal; his chief advisors predict that the treacherous Spaniards will turn on him long before his reinforcements can arrive from North America, and he would then be fighting three nations with easy access to supplies and personnel. “I can defeat them, but I cannot hold them,” Mectezuma said to his councilors, bitterly. “Send runners out to all of our warriors and sailors; I want them all to gather in London.”

in 1940, the discovery of a cave in Lascaux, France by 4 teenage boys causes a major stir in the archaeological community. Prehistoric paintings adorn the walls of the cave network, and the boys excitedly informed their elders of what they found. French and German archaeologists travel to the cave to examine the paintings. The French are thrilled at the representations of animals and humans that adorn the walls; the Germans are somewhat more interested in the strange signs that lead them to a narrow passage that they force a young French assistant into. When he is drawn out screaming, moments later, they carefully expand the passage and send through Professor Karl von Bauhaus, the smallest member of their expedition. The professor also cries out, at first, but then stifles his fear and tells his companions to give him a few moments. All that can be seen of him from the entrance is the flickering reflection of his flashlight. The Germans apprehensively wait, calling out to von Bauhaus occasionally, only to receive a grunt in reply. When the French part of the team joins them, somewhat concerned by the assistant who had refused to say what he saw, the Germans admit that they are perplexed. Finally, after 4 hours, Professor von Bauhaus emerges from the passage, shaking and pale. “It must be closed up and never opened again,” he tells his colleagues. When they protest, his voice trembles as he pleads with them, “You must believe me. You cannot allow anyone else to see this; it must remain buried.” Reluctantly, they withdraw from the passage and allow von Bauhaus to seal it up.

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9/11

The state of TIAH

September 11th, 2006

Alternate Historian's Note: We've been through this twice before – we mean no disrespect. The function of alternate history is to examine important events through the prism of what might have been, and the events of this day could have been very different if different actions were taken, or different people had taken them. The purpose of our writing about this particular event is to both entertain you and to make you think. Please keep that in mind as you read on.

in 2001, the Air Force scrambles fighters into the air after the Federal Aviation Administration lets them know that 4 and possibly 5 planes have been hijacked simultaneously. When it becomes obvious that one of the planes is headed to New York City and not on a landing pattern, the two pilots trailing it are given the order to take it down. One of the pilots, Major Arnold Krugman, uses his plane as a flying barrier to force the airliner over the water, where his partner is able to shoot it down with an air-to-air missile. The two pilots barely have time to catch their breath from this encounter before they are forced to do the same to another plane that was following the first. Pilots following the other hijacked planes also shoot down their targets over Pennsylvania and Washington before they can reach civilian targets. As a nervous America comes to grip with how narrowly they avoided the most devastating attack on the US since Pearl Harbor, the terrorist leader Osama bin Laden of Al-Qaeda takes credit for the plan, and challenges America with the threat of more attacks in the works. President Al Gore, hailing the heroic pilots who brought down the airliners and mourning the passengers on board those planes, says, “America will never allow little men who imagine themselves to be strong to dictate how we live our lives. This bin Laden may think that he can make our country quake with fear because he can delude people into giving their lives up for his cause, but the United States will soon show him that no one attacks us and survives.” As he was giving this speech, soldiers from the Army's Special Forces were infiltrating the camp in Afghanistan where bin Laden was hiding. After a brief gun battle, they were successfully retracted from the country with all their targets eliminated. President Gore, speaking on national television a few days later, announced simply that, “We got him.” Headlines the next day spoke of nothing else, and Gore's popularity, somewhat tattered after the election difficulties of the previous year, rocketed into the 90 percentile range. Even Republicans acknowledged Gore's masterful handling of the situation; one of them, Senator Jim Jeffords of Vermont, went so far as to leave his party and caucus with the Democrats, giving them a majority in the Senate. Elections the next year gave President Gore's party control of the House, as well, and the Democrats hailed the restoration of their power after 8 years in the minority with a promise of fairness and bipartisanship. With the Republicans chastened by their electoral defeat, America faced the future united more than it had been since World War II.

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Battle Of Birmingham

The state of TIAH

September 10th, 2006

in 1571, Aztec warriors attack the British and French allies outside the village of Birmingham in the West Midlands. For the first time in the war, the allies win a victory, and drive the Aztec away. A Spanish division was supposed to provide support for the Aztecs, but never appeared on the field of battle. When Mectezuma heard of this defeat in London, he ordered the sacrifice of the Spanish commander, Miguel Del Corazon. The Spanish refused to turn him over, and spirited him out of the country, back to Spain. Mectezuma, infuriated at this Spanish rebellion against him, instead sacrificed a hundred soldiers of the Spanish division that hadn't fought in the Battle of Birmingham. He also sent back to the empire for reinforcements to his expeditionary force in England; he realized that he might be facing Spanish opposition, as well as French and British, any day now.

in 1984, former Vice-President Walter Mondale announced his plan to cure the federal budget deficit that had grown so huge under President Ronald Reagan. The plan raised taxes slightly on the wealthy and large corporations, whose proponents immediately derided that plan as “typical liberal tax and spend.” Mondale, prepared for this strategy, attacked back, calling the Republican strategy, “Borrow and spend, spend, spend – and hope that your kids don't mind the bill you've left them.” America took a long, hard look at the somewhat selfish economic policies of the Reagan administration, and narrowly voted Mondale into office, along with a slim majority in the House and Senate. Mondale's plan, slightly modified in order to pass a hostile Congress, did indeed turn the deficit into a surplus by the end of Mondale's first term in 1988, and he ran for reelection with a healthy economy producing millions of jobs, easily defeating the Republican candidate, former Vice-President George Bush. During his second inaugural speech, President Mondale said, “You know, honesty sometimes is the best policy.”

in 1993, the controversial documentary The X-Files, a program committed to solving cases shuffled to the bottom of the FBI's file listings because of their bizarre, paranormal nature, debuts on the new Fox channel. Hosted by relative unknowns Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny, the program explodes in popularity, even winning its time-slot against shows from the more established television networks. Anderson and Duchovny prove to be a winning combination, presenting the evidence for the existence of UFOs and supernatural creatures with passion tempered slightly by reason.

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Stono Rebellion

The state of TIAH

September 9th, 2006

in 1739, Stono, South Carolina, is rocked by a revolt of nearly a hundred slaves led by a young man from Angola named simply Jemmy. With cries of “Liberty”, they gathered other slaves to their cause, armed themselves, and killed a couple of dozen slave holders on their way to Florida; the Spanish territory was offering freedom to any slave who managed the trek from the English colonies. Jemmy and his band were confronted by a smaller number of whites at the Edisto River, where an exchange of gunfire left almost 30 of the Africans and a like number of whites dead. The scene was described by survivors as being highly chaotic, and the remaining whites, feeling outnumbered by the slaves, fled from the river, while the slaves rushed away from carnage as well, hoping to preserve their lives as well as their freedom. Jemmy reorganized them that night and they continued their long walk to Florida, picking up over three hundred other souls along the way. When the massive band of Africans reached the border, Spanish settlers at first thought that they were being invaded, but word was passed along and the now-former slaves were granted their own patch of land in the Spanish colony. Jemmyville became a favored destination for runaway slaves over the decades, and when Florida joined the United States, a special dispensation was granted allowing it to remain free, even though the rest of the state became a slave state.

in 1956, The Ed Sullivan Show hosts a young singer from Mississippi who had hit the top of the pop charts three times and was becoming very popular among the bobby-socks crowd. Even before airing, the show seemed cursed – Ed Sullivan was unable to host, since he was recovering from a car-crash, and Presley had to film his appearance in Hollywood, since he was doing a movie on the day he was scheduled to appear. His performances were lackluster at best – lack of a studio audience, an insistence by CBS, threw him off. Although he sang beautifully with the song Love Me Tender, the camera operator kept shifting away from him, disrupting the song. After this uncomfortable appearance, he vowed never to do television again, which didn't prove to be a problem – after this appearance, his star fell dramatically, and after releasing a couple more underperforming singles, faded away from the music scene and returned to his previous career of truck driving.

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Star Trek

The state of TIAH

September 8th, 2006

in 1571, riots in the streets of London prompt another round of bloody sacrifices from Aztec conqueror Mectezuma, this time from the Tower of London. Spaniards who had been tasked by the emperor to bring him young children for the sacrifice let many slip away, and Mectezuma is enraged when he doesn't have the 24 children that he called for. He strikes the Spanish captain of the guard, Jorge Calderon, and calls him a weak-willed coward. Although Calderon bears this insult with grace, the entire Spanish contingent inside London hears of it and relations between the Aztecs and Spanish sour. Since most of Mectezuma's warriors are off pursuing Queen Elizabeth in the north, the majority of the occupation force in London is comprised of Spanish soldiers, and they have now turned slightly more sympathetic to the English they are supposedly guarding.

in 1966, the most influential science fiction series in television history debuts on NBC. Star Trek, the dream of El Paso-born producer Bob Wesley, suffers through a couple of dismal seasons at the beginning, but spent its 4th, 5th and 6th seasons at the top of the Nielsen ratings, and stayed in the top ten until the series was finally canceled in 1977. Its final episode, The Final Frontier, became the most-watched television episode of the 1970's, seen by over 60% of the households in America. This prompted Desilu, the company that produced the series, to put together a motion picture deal with the cast while they were still available, and the crew of the Enterprise made 4 popular feature films before William Shatner, one of the stars of the franchise, announced that he was not going to appear as Captain Kirk anymore. Desilu then put together a second series based around the Sulu character played by George Takei, entitled Star Trek: Excelsior. Takei's Captain Sulu became the first Asian-American lead character on American television, another ground-breaking move by a series that had been hailed for its multicultural diversity. When Excelsior left the small screen in 1996, its crew also made 4 feature films. Although not as popular as the original series' films, they did generate enough interest to spawn a 3rd series in the universe, which debuted in 2006. Star Trek: Dark Mirror, set in the violent parallel universe of Imperial Earth as seen in such episodes as Mirror, Mirror, Dark Reflection and Broken Mirror, hit the television world with a bang, claiming the top spot on the ratings since its debut and not letting go. Although Wesley himself has passed on, his vision is still enjoyed by millions around the world, and will probably remain popular for as long as people hope of a future where humanity is united at last.

in 1974, President Gerald Ford, the nation's first chief executive appointed to office, refuses to grant a pardon to former President Richard Nixon. Nixon claimed to have Ford's word on tape guaranteeing such a pardon, but several prominent Republicans wanted Nixon excised from the party altogether, and pressured Ford to prosecute him. Nixon's trial was a media circus, but it became very apparent very quickly that he had abused the office of the presidency and committed countless crimes while trying to suppress his political enemies. As this news came out, virtually every Republican leader in the nation denounced him, even those who had defended him prior to the trial. When he was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in a minimum-security prison, Ford's popularity soared. Although the Democrats padded their Congressional majorities in the 1976 elections, Ford himself was elected to the office he held by appointment by running under the slogan “An Honest Republican.”

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Submersible Opens New Front In Warfare

The state of TIAH

September 7th, 2006

in 1776, a new front is opened in war as a submersible is piloted into New York Harbor, underwater, and used to blow up the HMS Eagle, British Admiral Richard Howe's flagship. The Turtle, a submersible that had been donated to the American rebel cause by inventor David Bushnell, proved so deadly that General George Washington immediately commissioned 4 more and had Bushnell train sailors in its operation. Bushnell himself had piloted the craft when it sunk the Eagle, but was so physically weak that the trip had nearly killed him. He eagerly taught the young, tough sailors Washington sent the workings of his machine, and soon the American submersibles were wreaking havoc against the British navy. The Brits sought their own submersibles from the Dutch too late in the war to make a difference, but in every sea-faring war from then on, the submersible became an invaluable weapon of navies everywhere.

in 1980, although the British Royal Air Force continues to harass them, the combined Soviet and East German forces repel the French and West German ground troops from Berlin. In Moscow, the Politburo formally declares war against the western allies; Britain, France and West Germany reciprocate in a matter of hours. Italy, Austria and Greece announce that they will support the West Germans if an attempt is made to forcibly unify the German people. On the campaign trail in America, President Charles Evans is asked if the war in Europe will have any consequences for the United States, and he replies, “Yes. I'm sure that it'll bring a lot Europeans over here, looking for the peace, stability and prosperity that America has secured for itself by avoiding international entanglements.” The wild cheers that greet this statement back up the polls that show that over 65% of the American public wants nothing to do with the war beginning in Europe.

in 1996, a horrific incident causes rapper Tupac Shakur to leave his “gangsta” image behind; as he and Death Row Records producer Suge Knight are leaving a boxing match, another car pulled up beside them and riddled them with bullets. Shakur was only grazed, but Knight was hit by shot after shot. Shakur's driver sped them to the hospital, but Knight was dead on arrival. After getting his own small wound treated, Shakur appeared before the gathered press and said that he was going to need to take a break from his public appearances after this; he went back to his home in Maryland and was not heard from for several months. Then, in 1997, he produced his groundbreaking album, For Suge, with the hit single Blood can't pay back blood, a fierce message calling for an end to the violent feuds among so many people that Shakur associated with. Shakur personally began working with youth and gangs across the country to bring an end to violence; his personal crusade brought him close to death more than once, but after what he had seen in that car in Las Vegas, he no longer had any fear. He proved spectacularly successful at mediating gang disputes, and at one point was even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. His last couple of albums have suffered from “preachiness” according to critics in the hip-hop scene, but his personal popularity has never faded.

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The Invasion Of Kentucky

Alternate Historian's Note: Today's post is by Guest Historian Zach Timmons. If you'd like to be a Guest Historian, read this post, and then email us. Our thanks to Zach - we appreciate his contribution!

On this date in 1861, Union troops under Brigadier Gen. Ulysses S. Grant invade Kentucky, enraging the inhabitants of the state. Kentucky had declared itself neutral in an attempt to spare the state the ravages of the war, but when Gen. Grant marched in and occupied Paducah, the majority of the legislature (which had been pro-Union) sided with the Confederacy. The legislature officially seceded on the 4th and asked for admittance as the twelfth state of the CSA. The Confederates were overjoyed; with Kentucky on their side, this made it easy for Confederate troops to march into the vital states of Ohio and Indiana and wreak havoc. Also, the Ohio River formed the border between Kentucky and the states to the north, giving the rebels an excellent defensive position. General Grant's campaign was for his army to march down the Mississippi and cut the Confederacy in half, but on September 17th Confederate troops began the siege of Cincinnati, forcing Grant's army to be recalled north to relieve the city. For the next year, the Union army hammered away at the Confederates in Kentucky, slowly driving them back. However, the Union was dealt a major blow on October 1st, 1862, when southern raiders under the command of Colonel Nathan Bedford Forrest rode north into Illinois, tearing up the southern half of the state and briefly riding into the outskirts of St. Louis. At the same time, a raiding party led by Joe Wheeler went into Ohio, making it as far as the state capitol at Columbus before returning south. The states of the Old Northwest had considerable numbers of Southern sympathizers, especially Illinois' south; in the mid-term elections in November, these states went strongly Democratic, forcing Lincoln to rely heavily on War Democrats in Congress. The political success of these relatively minor raids did not go unnoticed in Richmond, which ordered Forrest (promoted to Brig. Gen.) and Wheeler to step up their attacks. The Union was forced to keep considerable numbers of troops in the rear to guard against possible raids; these troops could have made a huge difference on the front. Confederate raids increased through mid-1863 and tapered off around August as the Union finally developed a cavalry force capable of keeping up with the Southern horsemen. However, the effect of these raids was immeasurable; by the time of the presidential elections in 1864, the Union had only then begun to march into Tennessee, and a three-year stalemate had been occuring in Virginia with no results on either side. President Lincoln was soundly defeated by his Democratic opponent, New York Governor Horatio Seymour, who began peace talks with the South the day after he was inaugurated. According to the terms of the Treaty of Alexandria, Kentucky remained with the Confederacy, as did a piece of southern Missouri that was added to Arkansas. Also, the Mississippi was demilitarized and opened to Northern shipping. This became a moot point in 1867, when the states of Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota, Kansas, and Missouri formed the Union of Midwestern States, with its capitol centrally located at Des Moines, Iowa. With a land connection to the east lost, the territories of the west gradually broke off: California, Oregon, Nevada, and the western half of the New Mexico Territory (Arizona) formed the Commonwealth of the Pacific in early 1868; the Confederacy added the Indian Territory and the eastern half of the New Mexico Territory (West Texas) later that year. The Dakota and Nebraska Territories were annexed by the UMS, and Colorado was split in two by the UMS and the Mormons, now in the Nation of Deseret. The British even moved in, taking the northern half of the Washington Territory as the Mormons nabbed the south. The USA, now limited to New England and the eastern Great Lakes states, was a shell of its former self. Abraham Lincoln was a broken man; with the secession the UMS in 1867, he collapsed into a deep depression. On January 6th, 1868, at his home in Springfield, he put a pistol to his head and committed suicide. His wife Mary awoke, and was so overcome by grief she picked up the gun and shot herself as well. Ulysses S. Grant, the man whose invasion of Kentucky most likely started the downfall of the Union, was last seen drinking on a Mississippi riverboat in 1870; he is believed to have fallen overboard and drowned.

"A Massive Grave"; Nuclear Options

The state of TIAH

September 5th, 2006

in 1571, Spanish and Aztec soldiers clash with a small mob of Londoners in Piccadilly when an Aztec warrior's insult to a shopkeeper turns violent. Although the invaders win the contest, 14 Aztecs and 23 Spaniards are killed in the fight, encouraging the resistance movement. Aztec Emperor Mectezuma is furious when word reaches him, and he orders a hundred English children to be rounded up and sacrificed in retaliation. The Spanish general in charge of his country's invasion force, Juan Del Castillo, begs the Emperor to change his mind, but the next morning sees blood flowing freely from Buckingham Palace again. The Emperor is impatient to be done with this war; England is too cold for him, and he longs to be back in his homeland. “We will crush these English barbarians brutally, so that this may be done quickly,” he told his advisors and the Spanish leaders. “Resistance will be dealt with in the harshest measures possible. I do not care if we leave London as a massive grave.”

in 1975, President Gerald Ford is fatally wounded by a follower of cult leader Charles Manson as he visits Sacramento, California. Lynette Fromme, known as “Squeaky” in the cult, shot Ford just before a Secret Service agent could wrestle her to the ground. The president was rushed to a Sacramento hospital immediately, but died on the operating table as doctors attempted to repair the damage to his heart. Vice-President Nelson Rockefeller, in his home state of New York doing a fundraiser, was notified of the President's death and given the oath of office in the kitchen off of the banquet hall he had been speaking in. His first speech as president was given in the hall, informing the gathered businessmen and the few reporters who had been attending that President Ford was dead, “but the ideals of America go on. This little woman killed a man hoping she could bring down a country, but a single bullet cannot fell the United States.” President Rockefeller pushed for strict regulation of cults when he got back to Washington, and Congress readily complied. The Unification Church of Sun Myung Moon challenged the new legislation as an attack on the first amendment, but it took years before the Supreme Court finally struck it down. By then, many small religions in America had been eradicated.

in 1980, French and West German armored divisions clash with Soviet forces just outside of Berlin as British planes battle East Germans in dogfights above the city. The Soviet Union places its nuclear forces on high alert, and the British and French do likewise. The Secretary-General of the United Nations, Kurt Waldheim, makes a desperate call to America's president, Charles Evans, but Evans is steadfast in his refusal to intercede in the war. He does make one concession to the Austrian – he publicly announces, “If this conflict on the other side of the world should happen to spill over to ours, America will have no choice but to exercise its nuclear options.” Soviet Premier Brezhnev, who had been considering lobbing a few nukes into the fray in Germany, decided to hold them in reserve for now, and see how conventional combat would go.

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Labor Reform Act; Troubles In Berlin

The state of TIAH

September 4th, 2006

in 1959, the needlessly restrictive Labor Reform Act sponsored by Senator John Kennedy of Massachusetts passes the Senate. Kennedy had given in to Republican and conservative Democratic pressure to put a leash on the unions, in spite of his own sympathies towards them, and gleeful anti-labor forces eagerly passed the bill in the House the next day. Once President Eisenhower signed it into law, unions immediately took the matter to court, arguing that if business organizations – made up of owners and managers - were not restricted in a similar manner, that this law was blatantly unconstitutional. The court agreed, and struck the law down. This attack on the right to organize labor convinced the vast majority of the unionists in America that they were not being represented by either the Democrats or the Republicans, and they began the Union Party to speak for their interests in politics. The initial result of their entry into the political fray was a diminishment of the Democratic Party, as union members abandoned their traditional home for the Union Party. By the 1970's, the Union Party held a strong minority in both Houses of Congress, and with the elections of 1982, captured the House, which they have held ever since. The Senate remains an elusive goal for them, but they managed to elect President Andrew Stern in 1976 and reelect him in 1980.

in 1969, Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh dies in the Vietnamese capitol of Hanoi. Although fairly left-wing in politics, Minh had been the most steadfast ally of the United States in southeast Asia ever since President Wilson had stood up for the Indochinese at the conclusion of World War I. Minh's socialism allowed him to act as a middleman between the United States and the Soviet Union on hundreds of matters, and he proved invaluable in easing tensions between the two superpowers. Minh is often credited with laying the groundwork for the Global Peace Treaty of 1965, that reined in the headlong rush of stockpiling atomic bombs that the superpowers had been engaged in. Minh was so beloved in Vietnam that they renamed Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City after his death.

in 1980, French and West German armored divisions roll towards Berlin as the Soviets consolidate their hold on West Berlin. Soviet Premier Leonid Brezhnev warns the Europeans that they could provoke “dire consequences” if they insist on recapturing their toehold in East Germany. Great Britain's Margaret Thatcher, mobilizing the Royal Air Force to provide air cover for the ground troops of their allies, replies that they have a few dire consequences of their own that they can unleash. The nuclear forces of France, Britain and the Soviet Union all go on high alert. The United Nations, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland, calls out to America to intercede in the conflict, but President Charles Evans refuses to expand on his original statement from the day before. Nations from around the world pledge their aid to both sides of the conflict as worried UN mediators shuttle back and forth between NATO headquarters in Brussels and the Soviet Union's capitol in Moscow.

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Spanish Arrive In London

The state of TIAH

September 3rd, 2006

in 1571, Spanish reinforcements finally arrive in London, in time to see the sacrifice of 10 English soldiers to the Aztec sun god, Huitzilopochtli. Although this nauseates the vast majority of the Spanish soldiers, their leaders realize that saying anything to the Aztecs would bring an invitation to join the poor unfortunate men getting their hearts cut out, so they order silence in the ranks. Since Mectezuma considers the Spanish as barbarous as the English, he orders the Spanish soldiers to assume security duties in London, his first tactical mistake in the war. Because of the sacrifice, many of the Spaniards have begun to feel sympathy towards the English, and the London Underground uses this sympathy; they target Aztec installations in the city, and the Spaniards can often be convinced to look the other way. Also, they leak out word of the sacrifice to the English countryside, and Queen Elizabeth uses it as a rallying cry for her people, who are now gathering to her side in droves.

in 1980, a scant 2 months before the presidential contest between Republican Pat Garret and Democrat Paul Green is decided, Soviet troops roll into West Berlin, easily ousting the handful of British and French soldiers guarding the city. America had been pulling away from its foreign military obligations for 9 years, ever since full energy independence had been realized in 1971. America's old allies plead for help, but incumbent President Charles Evans refuses with the infamous statement, “Europe's problems should be handled by the Europeans.” A few prominent corporations do business in Europe and are dismayed at the fall of West Berlin, and they try to exert some pressure on President Evans to do something, but he is adamant in his refusal. They then appeal to the more business-friendly Garret, who tests the waters a bit with a speech in Ohio saying that “America should always stand ready to aid its old friends.” When national pundits and his Democratic opponent take him to task over this, he immediately backs down. Because of this, Green wins the election in November, and Europe prepares for a war in Germany without help from the United States.

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Hard Times For London

The state of TIAH

September 2nd, 2006

in 1571, London roils with battle as Mectezuma's Aztec army struggles with a combined force of British and French soldiers. Although outnumbered, the Aztec's superior weaponry gives them the advantage, and Queen Elizabeth barely manages to flee Buckingham Palace before it falls to the Aztec guns. At the end of the day, the French general aiding England, Xavier Duchamp, informs the queen that they cannot hold London. Regretfully, Elizabeth abandons her capitol, gathering as many of London's citizens as she can before fleeing to the northeast. When the British and French retreat, Mectezuma orders his priests to prepare a sacrifice for the morning sun of 10 warriors; “For today, Huitzilopochtli has given us this victory in spite of the collapse of our allies and against greater numbers of the English barbarians, and I will give him their hearts as he rises.” This sacrifice, on Buckingham Palace itself, outrages the remaining citizens of London and sparks an underground resistance movement against the Aztecs.

in 1666, London's Pudding Street erupts in flames after a small fire that started in King Charles II's baker's house finds London to be one huge mass of tinder. The conflagration overwhelms the merchants who come to fight it, and when it reaches Thames Street, becomes a raging inferno that cannot be doused. Unable to stop it, the city's people flee as quickly as they can, but most don't run quickly enough. Virtually the entire city is reduced to ashes when the flame finally burns out four days later, and half of its inhabitants, including King Charles II himself, lie dead in the rubble. Charles' brother James assumes the throne of England and moves the capitol to Windsor. A half-hearted attempt is made to rebuild London, but it never gains any ground, and the city that once stood as a Roman outpost and became a symbol of a great nation blows away on the winds of time.

in 1969, fan pressure forces NBC to renew Star Trek for a fourth season, in spite of its low ratings. They move it from the Friday night “death slot” they had placed it in to a more congenial Thursday at 7PM, and, to their great surprise, the series shots up in the ratings. The fourth season is greeted by fans as the show's best yet, and it climbs from the cellar of the Nielson's to the #4 spot. Advertising picks up on the show, and NBC gives it a 5th season. The show hits its stride as critics come aboard, hailing the writing and acting on the series, and Star Trek spends most of season five as the number 1 show on television. Although its creator, Gene Roddenberry, had planned to end the series after 5 years, and even had the show's intro state that the Enterprise was on a “5-year mission,” he was easily convinced to extend that to six, seven and then eight. William Shatner's opening lines were changed from a 5-year mission to “continuing mission.” NBC was more than willing to renew the series for ninth season, but stars William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, James Doohan and others were ready to move on to other projects. They did reunite for several feature films later on, and George Takei's character Sulu was given his own spinoff series, Excelsior, in 1976.

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Burr Establishes Gloriana

The state of TIAH

September 1st, 2006

in 1807, former US Vice-President Aaron Burr flees the young country he helped to found in order to escape conviction on charges of treason. Burr, along with a few hundred followers, establishes his own republic in the former French protectorate of Louisiana. He names himself president, but acts much more like a king. Many Americans who had been on the Tory side of the revolution, on hearing of Burr's new Gloriana, immigrated. Although never large, Gloriana proved to be a thorn in the underside of the American nation as it tried to spread west, constantly harassing the Americans who attempted to settle in the Louisiana Purchase or move through it to Mexico and parts west. In 1823, President James Monroe decided that he could not leave office without handling “this minuscule king, this traitor, Aaron Burr,” and asked for a declaration of war against Gloriana from Congress. The declaration passed swiftly, and Americans across the east coast signed up for the attack on Gloriana. Burr, seeing what was coming, tried to ask Mexico and the native nations around him for aid, but they all refused. The summer of 1823 saw the first border clash between Glorianans and Americans, and the Americans won handily. They pushed on swiftly, and the warm weather of south Louisiana allowed them to keep moving through winter and seize Burr's capitol of New Orleans. Burr himself fled and tried to rally what few Glorianans remained loyal to him at Natchitoches, but a disaffected Glorianan shot him on the way, putting an end to the small nation forever. By the time spring arrived in Louisiana, all the Glorianans had been repatriated into the US, and Burr's legacy was utterly destroyed.

in 1928, the first man to achieve Nirvana in recorded history is born in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Robert Pirsig studied the classical Greek works for many years before turning to the east and studying the works of the Zen masters. In 1960, he spent several days in a meditative state that his wife mistook for catatonia – she even went so far as to try to have him committed to a mental institution. When the police came for him, he roused himself and spoke to them in perfectly lucid speech, convincing them that he was all right. He then spoke for several hours to his wife, who had been on the verge of divorcing him, and she saw that something special had happened to him. Pirsig soon began lecturing on Nirvana to the student body at the University of Chicago, where he was a graduate student at the time. His lectures drew dozens, then hundreds of students, teachers and curious onlookers, and had to be moved outside because U of C had no rooms large enough to contain all those who wished to hear Pirsig. As those who heard him speak spread news of his philosophy around the country, Pirsig was asked to speak at other places, and soon was in demand everywhere. His invocations of a life based on Quality stirred the American soul, and by 1970, his followers numbered in the millions. He was assassinated that year by a fanatical follower of the Reverend Billy Graham, who felt that Pirsig was the Anti-Christ. His movement lives on, though, and the Church of Quality is one of the largest in the country today.

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