September 11th, 2004
Alternate Historian’s Note: It is not the intention of this treatise to offend or infuriate. The events of this timeline on this date in 2001 caused a great deal of trauma in the American psyche, which we are still recovering from. Please take no offense as we give you alternatives to what happened that day; our only purpose is to provide entertainment and food for thought. We ask that you accept this material with that in mind.
in 2001, several Saudi Arabians were taken into custody prior to boarding intracontinental flights in Boston, Newark and Washington, D.C. The F.B.I. had been tracking them since President Bush had received a briefing entitled Bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S. on August 6th. Under questioning, they revealed that they had planned to crash the jets into several buildings in New York City and Washington. The nation never knew how close to tragedy we came.
in 2001, counter-revolutionaries attempt to hijack several jetliners and use them as missiles to attack Washington, D.C. Comrade President Bernard Sanders reluctantly orders them shot down; over 400 brave comrades die along with the handful of hijackers. Comrade President Sanders uses this tragedy to force Americans to see the lengths to which the counter-revolutionaries will go to keep the glories of communism from the world. He vows that “They will never succeed - not while a single American draws breath.” In the coming months, many right-leaning publications are shut down, and most capitalist-sympathizers feel it necessary to distance themselves from their friends on the right wing.
in 2001, President Gore introduces a counter-terrorism package to Congress that will link the intelligence agencies more closely together and allow the military to perform quick, surgical strikes against entrenched terrorist camps in foreign countries. Republicans in Congress defeat the measure easily, even after President Gore releases details of the arrest of terrorists in June that had planned to use jets to blow up several buildings on the east coast. Conservative pundit Charles Krauthammer declared that “Gore has gone off his lithium again.”
in 1422, infidels from the north of Europe captured 3 jets bound from Istanbul to Mumbai and diverted them into Mecca. The jets smashed into the Ka’ba, destroying the holiest shrine in all of Islam. The outrage unleashed by this act brings a terrible jihad upon northern Europe, and many thousands of its people are killed, though they had no part in the actions of the infidels. Indeed, many European nations sent aid to Mecca and volunteered to rebuild the holy city, but this was all as nothing before the wrath of the faithful.
in 12-19-8-10-1, northern terrorists of the Algonquin fly stolen sky-boats into the great capital city of Oezteca, smashing the pyramid of Kukulkan. Many see this as a sign that the end of the age is coming; thousands begin to pray again at the temples, and sacrifices are made to all the gods. The empire quickly attacks and subdues the Algonquin nation and brings many of them back to Oezteca as sacrifices. The gods seem to be appeased.
in 4697, the Chinese empire receives the transmission from Captain Wu about the Y’T’T’li attack on Yang Gao and the vessels on their way to earth. All available war ships are placed in orbit around the homeworld, and earth’s defensive forces are put on alert. The entire system waits tensely.
in 2002, a small band of Protestant fundamentalists capture 4 jets and use them in the worst terrorist attack on Holy British soil. 2 of the jets are flown into Buckingham Cathedral, miraculously missing Pope Righteous; a 3rd plane flies into the Tower of London, killing hundreds of tourists. The last plane crashed mysteriously into the Thames. Pope Righteous immediately called for all Christians to join him in pursuing these fundamentalists to the four corners of the world.
in 2003, Sheridan’s requested ship arrives in Antarctica; it is armed to the teeth, and carries a working lab for him to create new weapons, if necessary. He sets on the Martian ship and, in short order, drives it off world. Pursuing it into outer space, he and his crew destroy it just outside the orbit of the moon. Relieved that the battle went so well, Sheridan returns to earth at a leisurely pace, to examine what the Martian ship was doing.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
September 11th, 2004
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