Wednesday, December 01, 2004

The House Of Wax; Norma Jean Swings

December 1st, 2004

in 1761, the evil genius known only as Madame Tussaud was born in Paris, France. Throughout her gruesome life, she delighted in dipping things in wax; as she grew older, the thrill diminished until she began turning the citizens of Paris into “lifelike” statues in her macabre Musee de Cire. She was only halted by the French Revolution, else her museum might have claimed more innocent victims.

in 1884, Anglo cowboys killed Hispano deputy Elfego Baca in Frisco, New Mexico. The cowboys from Texas had been terrorizing the local population for some months, brutally attacking Hispanos without reprisal. Baca took a sand against them, killing one and wounding several others before they were able to corner him in a small house and shoot him dead. Enraged by the murder of a deputy, the Hispano population, with sympathetic Anglos, took up guns and wiped out the cowboy outlaws.

in 1890, the French-British Channel city was founded. Atlan as it was known, was the brainchild of French architect Simone L’Tig’gha, a Mlosh genius who had embraced both sides of the English Channel and drew citizens from both countries to his vision. Tragically, Atlan was destroyed in the seismic disasters of the early 90’s, and virtually all of its population was lost beneath the waves.

in 4608, Imperial Architect Minoru Yamasaki was born on the island of Nippon. As a young boy, his talent was recognized by teachers who brought him to the attention of the Imperial Governor. Minoru’s work for the Governor caught the eye of Emperor Dao-Ming, who brought him to work in the Forbidden City. Much of Beijing is Minoru’s work.

in 1929, Edwin Lowe, a toy salesman from New York, invented a game he called Bingo while traveling in rural Georgia. He tried to sell the strange game involving numbered balls in a cage and cards with corresponding numbers to church folk in the countryside as a “wholesome entertainment” for communities, but it failed to gain any ground, and Lowe soon went back to other toys.

in 1953, in a decidedly unwholesome vent, the first issue of the girlie magazine Swinger, with covergirl Norma Jean Mortensen, hit the newsstands of America. Mortensen was shown on the cover swinging in the nude. The photo was taken from the side, with her arms strategically placed to cover her breasts, but it still scandalized the nation. Her career never suffered from it, and the magazine still lands on newsstands every month.

in 1971, Soviet American forces fighting in North Chile spread the conflict into The People’s Republic of Bolivia when they found that South Chilean guerrillos were hiding in that country to evade American troops. Comrade President Gus Hall approved the beginning of strikes into Bolivia to eliminate the Guerrillos, in spite of the illegality of the action. It drew widespread condemnation, even from many communist allies, and contributed to Comrade Hall’s drop in popularity.

in 2003, a call went out across the Holy British Empire for a great force of men, 200 million strong, to fight the enemies of Christendom. Pope Righteous I sent a recorded message to every country that followed the cross and asked them to pledge their armies to this holy crusade. Since most nations followed the cross, they did as he commanded. Righteous now had an army larger than any other on the earth.

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