Monday, December 20, 2004

A Pale Horseman Came Riding...

December 20th, 2004

in 1812, the North American Confederation started a minor war against its Sioux neighbors when a group of N.A.C. colonists moved into land they mistakenly believed to have been ceded to them by the Sioux. Nearly 50 colonists were killed, along with an equal number of Sioux, before the dispute was settled and the N.A.C. colonists withdrew.

in 1889, Mikhail von Helfin set sail from Brest, France, for the United States. The few descendants of his who had managed to stay in contact with him had immigrated to a place called Texas, and he had decided to join them.

in 1929, American courts had the good sense to ban that British pornographic tome, Lady Chatterly’s Lover. Once it was settled that the moral health of the nation stood to gain from the government determining what was good for the citizenry to read, the Department of Censorship was created and its secretary made a full Cabinet officer. Now, we only read what’s good for us.

in 1941, troops loyal to the German Underground are being pressed hard by the winter and by the Greater Zionist Resistance in western Russia. G.U. leader Adolf Hitler orders his men in the east to keep pressing forward and not surrender; when word of this reaches Hitler’s neo-Nazi backers from the future, they countermand the order and save thousands of G.U. soldiers from certain doom.

in 1946, magician and world-renowned skeptic Uri Geller was born in Tel Aviv, Israel. Geller, an accomplished magician, took on all sorts of “psychics” in his native land, proving them to be phonies. He then took his act to America, where he helped unveil the truth behind notorious frauds such as Jeanne Dixon.

in 1976, all of Illinois mourned as the illustrious chairman of the state’s Communist Party, Comrade Richard Daley, died in Chicago. Comrade Daley had briefly been the mayor of Chicago during the 1960’s, but his services were better put to use building the most successful party organization in the Soviet States of America.

in 1980, in one of the most obvious attempted murders of the century, Sunny von Bulow was found in a coma in her Rhode Island mansion. Her husband, Claus, was arrested and quickly confessed, since the police had him dead to rights. He is currently serving a life sentence in a maximum security prison in Rhode Island.

in 2003, a pale rider on a pale horse rode through London, and all who stood within his path died. The horse was seen galloping towards Buckingham Cathedral after an Estellian in his way had called upon her to save him. He was the lone survivor of that horseman’s hideous ride.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's a shame Uri Geller never got around to debunking James Randi.

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