Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Ape-Men Of Russia

THE CHRISTMAS DAY CONTEST WILL BE EXTENDED BY 1 MORE DAY! I have had a request to extend the contest's deadline by one more day by someone who promises to send something in - but she must be joined by at least 1 more of you, or we will not have enough entries for the day. I will probably not have time to get replies from the winners at this point, so if you are notified that you have won, you agree to the following: You grant TIAH the right to electronically print your writing on December 25th, 2005, maintain your writing in our archives, and reprint your entry should we decide to reuse it in the future. TIAH only maintains full copyright over material it has originated that has been used by contestants in writing their own entries. Today, December 21st, 2005, is the last day for you to enter! The contest is over once tomorrow's post goes up. Email us up to 3 entries of your best alternate Christmas Days!

December 21st, 2005

in 47,416 BCE, Telka, the Speaker, climbed the great mountain she had named Ketsuma, and attempted to touch the sky. It was still beyond her reach. She turned to the young son she had brought with her and told him that they would find a taller one and try again.

in 1614, Tommasso Caccini, a priest of Florence, spoke with Galileo Galilee for several hours to discuss the scientist’s theory that the earth circled the sun, and not the other way around. After this meeting, Caccini left the priesthood and devoted his life to spreading the word of science. He was executed for heresy in 1616.

in 1761, Robert Barnwell was born in Beaufort, South Carolina. During the brief war for American independence, Barnwell spent much of it either wounded or imprisoned by the British, and developed a deep hatred of them. When President Jay made his peace with the British, Barnwell left America for Canada, and fought for that country's successful revolution. He spent several years in Canada's Parliament, and never set foot again on American soil.

in 1788, Mlosh tenor Isaac’t’Klofa, one of the first Mlosh to take a human name, is born in West Meath, Ireland. At an early age, he fell in love with human music, and began singing opera professionally in 1820.

in 1954, the Ivanov Project's first results are shown to Stalin. The super-soldier created by crossing ape with man in a hideous disregard for the natural order pleases the cruel dictator, and he orders them on their first mission - into the jungles of Vietnam!

in 1958, Charles de Gaulle was elected President for life by an unstable and frightened French nation. Revolt in the Algerian colony led the French down the road of dictatorship, which de Gaulle followed with relish. Under his unquestioned reign, he forged closer ties with fellow dictator Franco of Spain, massacred workers and students who protested against his policies, and made France the world’s second-greatest nuclear power. The Second Napoleon, as he was known, was finally halted by death in 1970.

in 1975, Carlos The Jackal leads a raid on an OPEC summit meeting in Vienna, Austria. When the Viennese authorities refuse to cooperate with him, he slaughters the oil ministers of the OPEC nations, and broadcasts a message in Arabic calling for all Arabs to rise up against their governments and overthrow them. The Austrians are unable to capture him in the raid afterward, and OPEC is shattered by the assassinations; they are never able to coordinate actions again.

in 1979, Republicans in Congress manage to defeat a spending bill aimed at saving the Chrysler Corporation. Although seen as a crushing defeat for President Carter, who had lobbied hard for the bill, the callous disregard for the tens of thousands of people who lost their jobs comes back to haunt the Republicans, as they lose dozens of House seats and all of the seats in the Senate they were running for in 1980. Some say that if Ronald Reagan hadn't had the Chrysler noose around his neck in 1980, he might have prevented President Carter from winning a second term.

in 2000, several breakaway soviets in the Pacific northwest declared themselves the People’s Republic of America during the economic troubles at the end of the 20th century. Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, Idaho and Montana waged a three-year insurrection against the Soviet States of America, but were ultimately defeated due to the much greater resources of the S.S.A.

in 2003, the 200-million member army of the Holy British Empire is brought to attention and told that it will be all that stands between the forces of darkness and the Kingdom of God. Islam mobilizes its meager forces in response, and prepares the holy city of Jerusalem for the hammer of Britain’s assault.

in 2004, Chelsea Perkins casts her first spell using infomancy, her computer-aided branch of witchcraft. The spell knocks electricity out in the Great Tree, as well as several towns surrounding it. Miss Perkins returns to the drawing board.

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