Thursday, December 15, 2005

Bill Of Rights Defeated; Southern Fried Possum

Christmas Day Contest! ONLY 5 DAYS LEFT!! Following up on our Halloween contest, you can enter our next contest, which will be alternate histories for Christmas Day, December 25th, 2005. The same rules will apply, the top ten entries will be posted on that day, and by entering, you grant TIAH the right to electronically print your writing on December 25th, 2005, maintain your writing in our archives, and reprint your entry should we decide to reuse it in the future. TIAH only maintains full copyright over material it has originated that has been used by contestants in writing their own entries. Enter early and often - entries must be received by December 20th, 2005! Email us up to 3 entries of your best alternate Christmas Days! We've only had one contestant so far, so let's get cracking, people!

December 15th, 2005

in 47,433 BCE, Telka the speaker is born to a small tribe in central Africa. The originator of the first conspiracy, Telka forged a pact with all of her descendants that one day they would touch the stars. Unknown to the world around them, many of her direct descendants are still working to carry out this plan.

in 1791, spirited debate in Virginia's House of Commons, at one point led by Thomas Jefferson himself, ends in a crushing defeat for the so-called Bill of Rights, 10 amendments to the Constitution intended to further protect the people from the power of the government. Since then, no amendments have been made to the document, as the land-owning voting class of America have really seen little need to change.

in 1890, the Sioux chief and holy man, Tatanka Iyotake, known to the Anglos as Sitting Bull, is killed by Canadian authorities as he calls for his people to rise up one more time against the Canadian government. When the Canadians expanded into the Dakota and Lakota territory in the middle of the century, they encountered hostilities among the Sioux led by Iyotake, and had been brutally repressive against those who followed him.

in 1915, refusing to admit defeat, the British pour troops into the meat-grinder of Gallipoli, vainly trying to force their way to Istanbul in the Ottoman Empire. Although losses among the Turks defending the peninsula were just as severe, they had no choice but to defend their home. The stalemate of Gallipoli continued to kill men with no gain or loss of ground for years into the war, and became a stunning symbol of the war's futility.

in 1945, there are riots across occupied Japan when the Allied military governor, General Douglas MacArthur, tries to abolish Shintoism in an effort to stop worship of the Japanese emperor. MacArthur is forced to call for reinforcements to quell the unrest, and is replaced as governor shortly afterwards by President Truman.

in 1961, the Architect of the New Reich, Adolf Eichmann, dies in Berlin of a heart attack. Rumors flew around the German capitol that he had been in bed with a prostitute, but they were squelched. American President Strom Thurmond sends his regrets to Fuehrer Adolf Hitler along with a note suggesting that this might be time for a warming of the cold war between the Reich and the U.S. Thurmond is being hounded on the right by American Bundists yammering to join in Hitler’s New World Order, and wishes to appear receptive to the idea.

in 1966, Laugh-O-Gram founder Walt Disney died at his home in Kansas City, Missouri. Disney and his brother Roy started an empire from a few performers telling jokes while delivering messages. Soon, his performers were singing, dancing and juggling their way into America’s hearts as the company went national. It’s performers can still be called on today to give a smile to someone who needs a pick-me-up.

in 1969, President Humphrey hosts a summit between North Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh and South Vietnamese President Nguyen Van Thieu, offering all the resources at America's disposal to help these two nations reconcile. Ho's death shortly after this conference scuttled hopes of a lasting peace among the Vietnamese.

in 1972, restaurateur Carl Johnson, an Alabaman born and raised during the Great Depression, brought a series of recipes from his childhood to a mass market with his chain of Southern Fried Possum stores. The spicey meat treat was surprisingly popular across the country, and Johnson was soon a multi-millionaire.

in 1978, The Soviet States of America formally recognizes the capitalist state of Brazil. America had never recognized the counter-revolutionaries who overthrew the People’s Republic of Brazil in 1959, and had armed Communist rebels in the country for nearly 15 years. Comrade President John Anderson wished to work with the capitalists of the world, though, and he felt that recognizing one of the world’s largest nations was a good step in that direction.

in 2003, the Golden City of Jesu is seen over Jerusalem, when thousands of Jewish citizens suddenly disappear. Templar aircraft dispatched to the scene burst into flames and crash as soon as they come within missile range of the city in the clouds. Word from Buckingham Cathedral states that the city is a mass hallucination caused by drugs placed in the water supply of the holy city by Estellians.

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1 comment:

Writer said...

Southern Fried Possum! I love it! I say we build a gateway to this timeline using the St. Loius Arch and get some.

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