Thursday, February 09, 2006

Gender Roles Accidentally Defined

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February 9th, 2006

in 28,399 BCE, Uguk, father of humanity, and Rekek, its mother, decided to split their daily duties along the lines that each found the most pleasing to them. Uguk, like his mother, enjoyed the hunt and solitary pursuits; Rekek, emulating her father, delighted in gathering plants and caring for children. Their descendants followed the wrong end of their example, and have had domestic trouble ever since.

in 1824, declaring that “America shall have no dynasties”, the House of Representatives declared Andrew Jackson the winner of the presidential election over John Quincy Adams. Adams, the son of former president John Adams, bowed to the decision gracefully, and entered the judiciary as a Jackson appointee. Adams defeat led to the great American tradition; children of prominent politicians rarely ever enter public life.

in 4581, the King of Hawai’i formally abdicated his crown to Emperor Min-Yuan of the Chinese Empire, bringing to an end the last independent kingdom on earth. Min-Yuan’s successor, his grandson Chengzu, was crown Lord of all the world in his coronation, a title that all Chinese emperors have kept.

in 12-14-12-10-13, the Voice of the Gods, Tsiropoctli of Uaxactun, was born. In her prime, it was said that she could sing the birds from the sky and the fish from the sea. Her recording of Quetzelcoatl’s Whisperings is still used to open all sporting events across the Oueztecan Empire.

in 1918, as soon as Velma Porter and Mikhail von Heflin leave their cabin again, going for a brief constitutional about the deck, Milo Cranston breaks back into their cabin and steals the gem holding the creature he had released and been imprisoned by. He takes it back to his cabin and studies it, but resists the lure to trade places; he is formulating a plan.

in 1950, Comrade Senator Ted Astley of Washington Soviet accused the State Department of harboring known capitalists and fellow-travelers. He claimed to have a list of dozens of “card-carrying capitalists”, which he never made public, but which helped to make life hard for many Americans who had flirted with capitalist ideology in their youth.

in 1993, following his unexpected success in classical music, former Pete Best bandmate Paul McCartney releases his operetta Off The Ground. It follows the theme he had laid out in his Liverpool Oratorio of the dignity and beauty of love of the people of Liverpool in post-war England. The mature sound he was able to create delighted classical critics and audiences alike, and McCartney left popular music behind after this.

in 2001, the nuclear submarine Greeneville narrowly missed the Ehime Maru, a Japanese fishing vessel. Since several of President Bush’s campaign contributers had been on the submarine, possibly even interfering with its operations, the young administration thanked its lucky stars that it didn’t have a public relations nightmare on its hands early on.

in 2005, Dave Lange joins the team attempting to break Jeanne Best's programming, providing comfort to her when the man leading the deprogramming, George Masey, gives her breaks from the grueling breakdown of her personality. While they are comforting each other, they begin to realize deep feelings they have for one another.

in 2005, after several days of gathering Ingredients, Chelsea Perkins is ready to try the spell titled “Transformation of the body” in the spell book of her ancestor, Morris Perkins. Her “teacher,” Alma May Watson, would like her to try something less dangerous, but Chelsea wants to see what this one can do. She starts her spell at the stroke of midnight, as instructed.

Timelines in today's post: the Oueztecan timeline, von Heflin, the Chinese Empire, Communist America, Pete Best, the Chelsea Perkins timeline and The Claw.

Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect Liverpool Oratorio to Star Trek - without using Paul McCartney! Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.

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Anonymous said...

The Liverpool Oratorio was co-composed by Carl Davis, who also composed the music for (and acted in) Praise Marx and Pass the Ammunition,
which included in the cast John Thaw,
who was in Macbeth with Eric Porter,
who was in Anthony and Cleopatra with Freddie Jones,
who was in Dune with Patrick Stewart, who was on ST(TNG)


Robbie Taylor said...

You are unstoppable!

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.