Elvis=Steve Ballmer?

The state of TIAH

August 16th, 2006

in [time unknown], the crews of the Pokor and the Eagle don space suits and exit their ships. The atmosphere of the brown planet is cold even by Amandaran standards, and the air is heavy with a strange element that all of the doctors on board feel is toxic. The landing area that the Pokor has been set down in is surrounded by high walls, so that they cannot see anything beyond the opening beckoning them to come forward. “You know, for the first time since I met you, I feel afraid,” Captain Mawrao said to Commander Patterson. “I hope it goes away, soon.” They led their people forward to the opening.

in 1977, Jesse Presley, depressed over the deterioration of his physical state and his relationships, took an overdose of barbiturates and collapsed. Although he was still alive when his girlfriend found him at his Memphis mansion, he was dead by the time an ambulance got him to the hospital. The entire world mourned the loss of the musical legend, and his grave, next to his infant twin brother Elvis', was quickly flooded with flowers and memorabilia of his long career in rock and roll. Some even refused to believe that he was dead, saying that he faked his death in order to escape from the pressures that superstardom were exerting on him.

in 1977, Elvis Presley, after secretly securing a body double at the morgue, slipped out of his Graceland mansion in Memphis and started the new life he had been craving for 6 years. Although he only took a few million with him, he was able to keep himself in luxury while in hiding because of his investment in a small company a friend had told him about called Microsoft. Slowly, he worked off the excess pounds he had put on during his bouts of depression, and shaved his head so that his trademark locks wouldn't give his identity away. He looked years younger than his actual age, and decided to take a new course in life – he learned about computers and under the name of Steve Ballmer, used his investments to secure himself a position inside Microsoft and direct the company.

in 2004, the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, died in a tour bus in Alabama after a particularly exciting concert. Elvis's heart had been weak for years, although after a mild attack in the late 70's, he had started an exercise regime to help strengthen it. He often credited his love of the martial arts for helping him get off the drugs he had been addicted to for decades. They had taken their toll, though, and Elvis' last concert was enough to push it too far. Fans around the world mourned the only man to have #1 hits in 6 decades – Paul McCartney, one of the surviving Beatles and possibly the only man capable of breaking that record of Elvis', said, “The King is dead. I'm just a little Beatle in his shadow,” and swore off rock and roll out of tribute to the legend's passing.

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