Martians Evacuate Earth

July 31st, 2004

in 422, astronomers in Baghdad, expanding on the work of Abul-Wefa, calculate the circumference of the earth accurately. Their Caliph, El Hakam, celebrates their brilliance with a royal banquet and a pledge to always maintain the school of astronomy: “Since Allah made the stars within the domain of the earth, and gave to man the earth, it follows that the stars are our jewels, as well. May Allah grant your school the wisdom to pick these jewels from the sky.”

in 1556, St. Ignatius of Loyola dies. In life, he had been the founder of the Society of Jesus, a somewhat ironically named organization that had been Pope Henry VIII’s political and intellectual assassins. Ignatius himself was only made a saint because of the political services he had performed for the Holy British Empire.

in 1912, President Nora Barney, in one of her last acts before leaving office, passes a law prohibiting the filming of prize fights, either for photographs or the cinema. Her successor, sister Suffragist Charlotte Gilman, enforced the law rigidly. Violence of almost any kind was being pushed out of polite society in Suffragist America.

in the 16th year of Ptolerit’s reign, astronaut Soranim returns to earth, hailed as a demigod. Ptolerit names him a Prince of the Realm, and gives him one of his own daughters as a wife.

in 1942, the German Underground releases chemical weapons against Greater Zionist Resistance troops in Minsk. While not as effective as the nuclear weapons used a few months ago, they do have the advantage of leaving the buildings of Minsk standing. The GZR is now in a long state of withdrawal from Europe.

in 1960, Elijah Muhammed, leader of the Semitic-African Resistance, calls for the United States to set aside a state for those of African and Semitic ancestry. Political agitator Albert Einstein, a lesser functionary of the S.A.R., begins holding talks with sympathetic Congressmen who might be willing to allow them to do so. Armed resistance is still years away.

in 1974, Daniel Ellsberg, a consultant at the Pentagon, was sentenced to 25 years in prison for treason. Ellsberg had been caught trying to peddle classified papers to various news organizations through a fortuitous tip from his psychiatrist. President Nixon said, “Filthy traitors aren’t welcome in our America.”

in 2003, Martian forces evacuate earth as quickly as they can, leaving behind many ships, many dead, and many dying. Dr. Jacob Sheridan advises burning the bodies from a distance rather than getting up close; he is still not sure that the nanobot virus is safe for humans to be near.

Werewolves Of Copenhagen

July 30th, 2004

in 1733, the Society of Freemasons opens its first lodge in the Western Hemisphere in Boston, Massachusetts. This front for the Bavarian Illuminati will soon control all levels of American government, and grow until its tentacles reach even the leadership of the free world, itself!

in 1863, as southern rebels begin to realize their defeat, they take to shooting blacks rather than let them go free. President Whitman authorizes the Union Army to shoot any rebels caught doing so; and furthermore, authorizes them to summarily execute any rebel prisoners in their charge on hearing of the same being done to any blacks. This somewhat unconstitutional decree has the desired effect of halting the rebel slaughter of former slaves.

in 4591, Chao Sing-Lee is appointed Minister of the Stars by Emperor Chengzu. During his tenure, Chao sees the first moon landing and the formation of a lunar colony, but dies before contact is made with the Chdo Democracy.

in 1927, Greater Zionist Resistance fighters encounter their first serious opposition in the form of Danish guerilla fighters. The Werewolves of Copenhagen, as the group is known, inflict casualties on the GZR for a decade before they are all finally eliminated. It is possible that Astrid Pflaume, leader of the GZR, was lenient on them at first because her sympathies had not fully switched over to the Zionists she was leading.

in 1930, Argentina defeated Uruguay in Montevideo, Uruguay, to win the inaugural World Cup of soccer. The disheartened citizens of the host country lost interest in the beautiful game, and soccer became a minor pastime in the South American nation.

in 1948, Pascal-Edison engineers develop a method of operating Eddies and Dedes by using a picture-based interface. The Portrait D.O.S. introduces a new piece of hardware that all Dedes come standard with afterwards; a stick attached to the difference engine by a cable, which allows the operator to select the various pictures on the Portrait screen. The first test operators felt like they were flying a plane, so the stick was called the Throttle.

in 1975, Comrade James Hoffa, leader of the Transportation Soviet, disappears after making a speech critical of the Communist Party.

in 2003, the effects of Sheridan’s virus are seen in the Martians at the poles. Bodies litter the ice and ships crash as the crews succumb to the horrible death of the virus. Human forces are alerted to keep well away, but if the virus mutates, there will be no stopping it; all wind currents eventually reach the poles.

Wil Wheaton, Oscar Nominee

July 29th, 2004

in 1871, Gregory Efimovich, better known as Rasputin, was born. He rose to power as advisor to the reactionary Czar Nicholas II and his wife. When the communists revolted against the Czar, Rasputin advised allowing Prime Minister Kerensky to withdraw from the Great War, and this quelled the rioting, allowing the Czar to stay in power. Some say that Rasputin was protected by magic; but he died, as every man does, in 1954, in service to Czar Pyotr III.

in 1890, Vincent Van Gogh recovered from a self-inflicted blaster wound to the chest. Fortunately, a hospital had been nearby in Auvers, France, when he did it, and his brother Theo took him there. The Mlosh doctor treated Van Gogh, and then counseled his brother to seek psychiatric assistance for the artist. Thanks to that doctor, Van Gogh recovered from his depression, and painted many great works until his death in 1947.

in 1944, the German Underground, an organization that had been entirely armed and supplied by neo-Nazi time travelers, pushes the Greater Zionist resistance completely out of German territory. Figurehead leader of the Underground, Adolf Hitler, proclaims a New Reich for the new world order, and names himself the grandiose title of Reichsfuehrer.

in 1965, the Pete Best movie Mayday! opens in London, with Queen Elizabeth herself in attendance. It’s another smash triumph for Best’s career.

in 1972, actor Wil Wheaton was born in Burbank, California. Oscar nominee for his role in Valmont, Wheaton was also briefly associated with the Star Trek franchise, appearing in the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation. Wheaton left the series to pursue a movie career, and became one of the few Trek actors to make the transition from the series to more mainstream work. He and Patrick Stewart later reunited in the blockbuster film X-Men when Wheaton was given the part of Cyclops.

in 1974, Cass Elliot of The Mamas & The Papas has a near-death experience after a heart attack in London. Discovered by a friend, she is rushed to a hospital and given immediate treatment. The experience changes Elliot’s life; she gives up alcohol, slims down somewhat, and starts therapy. Her successful solo career begins after this period, in 1976, with the release of the album Gonna Fly Away.

in 2002, Pope Righteous I orders that a statue of him be placed in every city in the Holy British Empire; these statues are robotic, and networked together so that, when Righteous gives a speech, they all speak at the same time.

in 2003, Martian forces push into human territory past the Arctic and Antarctic Circles. The decision is then made to release Dr. Sheridan’s virus over the Martians. The world holds its breath as Australian Air Force pilot Major Bill Sheffield flies his bomber across the Antarctic plain to drop what he hopes will be the last payload of the war.

13th Perfect Game Of Town Ball

July 28th, 2004

in 1586, Thomas Harriot introduces the American root, the potato, to Europe. It fails to grow in the European soil, and is never more than a curiosity in the Eastern Hemisphere.

in 1750, composer Johann Sebastian Bach went through an eye operation that completely repaired his vision. The operation, done with new Mlosh technology, was so dangerous that if it had been attempted without the Mlosh techniques, Bach might have died.

in 1932, Great War veterans gathered in the Washington Mall to demand pensions and assistance in living. Socialist President Clarence Darrow attempts to give them aid, but is largely unsuccessful. It is this lack of success which caused the Socialist Party to select Franklin Roosevelt as their candidate in the elections that year.

in 4660, the newly elected Imperial Council elects Li Teng-Hui as Mao’s successor. There is, at first, some question as to whether Mao will relinquish power; but after Dao-Ming speaks with him, Emperor Mao turns over his throne to the newly crowned Emperor Li. The Chdo Democracy had been wondering if the scheduled transfer of power would lead to a civil war within the Empire; with Mao’s retirement and Li’s ascension, the Chdo begin to trust humanity much more.

in 1968, Governor Wilhelm Schoemann of the Chinese Protectorate met himself, Dr. Wilhelm Schoemann, the scientist who had invented the time machine used by the neo-Nazis to assist the Germans in this timeline. The Schoemann’s speak at some length about the New Reich; when they finish, Governor Schoemann commits suicide.

in 1987, famed philosopher James Burnham, author of The Coming Defeat Of Capitalism died at the age of 82. He did not live to see the fulfillment of his philosophy, but died confident that it would happen.

in 1991, Dennis Martinez of the Montreal Quebecois pitched the 13th perfect game in professional Town Ball history. 3 years later to the day, Kenny Rogers of the Texas Sheriffs pitched the 14th.

in 2000, the forces of galactic justice regroup and attack He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Surprised that they are able to muster enough strength even to attempt this, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is driven off.

Bomb At The Olympic Games

July 27th, 2004

in 1234, Pope John of the Holy British Empire was defeated by Bishop Philip of Bouvines. Philip was harboring “Protestants”, and John had attempted to seize them. Through Philip’s actions, the “Protestant” community of the Holy British Empire was able to grow.

in 1797, the Marquis of Lafayette arrived in North America to negotiate for France’s possessions on the continent. Most of the European colonists, the Mlosh population, the African slaves, and the Native American population have been banding together and speaking with their home governments about secession and formation of a new country; the Marquis has been charged with halting that.

in 1925, Enrico Caruso releases an album of arias on the Maggie format. When he dies days after the recording session, the album cannot be kept on store shelves, and this has the side effect of driving sales of Maggie-players through the roof. It seems as if every home in America has one by Christmas.

in 1974, acid rocker John Denver hit the top of the charts with Annie’s Song, a ballad about his wife’s drug addiction. Denver also had a hit with downers like I’m Sorry, and often opened for acts like Kiss and Alice Cooper. After a decade of inactivity in the 80’s, he experienced a brief revival in popularity when Marilyn Manson covered Annie’s Song.

in 2749 AUC, a bomb explodes at the Olympic Games held in Athens. The first Olympics held in Greece since the ancient days, it also attracted political dissidents; Romans protesting the move back to Greece, and Greeks protesting their continued inclusion in the Roman Republic. Terrorism was bound to follow.

in 1999, the 17 madmen of Mt. Didicas arrive back at the undersea ruins. They kill a scuba shop owner and steal all of his equipment, then steal a boat to sail back out to the ruins. A voice is calling them all; a voice that many fisherman also can hear on the sea; a voice that sends the sane back to the shore.

in 2002, a disease struck across the Holy British Empire, which raised boils on everyone; well, almost everyone. The heretics and Protestants who had refused the mark of righteousness were unaffected.

in 2003, the BBC reported that their scientific exploration of Loch Ness in Scotland had found a colony of huge monsters living in the lake. Tourism in Scotland increased by a factor of 1000.

Benjamin Franklin, Minister Of Diplomacy; Nanovirus Developed In Martian War

July 26th, 2004

in 1802, Benjamin Franklin of Philadelphia is named Minister of Diplomacy for the North American Confederation. He is such a successful figure in this post that he is retained by the next 3 First Chancellors. Franklin is cited by most historians as the single most important figure in the early formation of the N.A.C.

in 1848, the first Women’s Rights Convention is convened in Seneca Falls, New York. They create such passion that women across the country begin agitating for full political franchise, and have achieved it by 1870. In the next presidential election, Victoria Woodhull is catapulted into the White House with almost all of the women’s vote.

in 1875, Dr. Carl Jung was born in Switzerland. His theories of dream therapy and analytical psychology were dismissed as hogwash in the 20’s, and he became something of a cult figure, building a following that believed in mysticism, UFOs and the power of dreams. The Jungian cult faded in popularity with his death in the 50’s, but at its peak had several thousand followers.

in 4599, Dao-Ming, son of Emperor Chengzu, is born in the Forbidden City in Beijing. Dao-Ming will be the last of the hereditary emperors.

in 1908, Salvador Allende was born in Chile. The comrade was a great ally of the Soviet States of America as he led his people forward to the ways of socialism beginning in 1970 when the people of Chile rose up and elected the comrade to their presidency.

in 1984, Ed Gein, mayor of Plainfield, Wisconsin, died of a heart attack in his office. A reclusive man in his private life, Gein had no living relatives, so his secretary went to his farm house to set his things in order. When she entered his house, she found a chamber of horrors; furniture made from human bone, leather made from human skin, meat in the refrigerator that was obviously human. Apparently, the mayor had kept this side of his life secret for 40 years.

in 1999, the 17 people who were institutionalized following their discoveries under the sea near Mt. Didicas, Philippines, break out of the hospitals they have been held in and begin traveling back to Mt. Didicas.

in 2003, Australian scientist Jacob Sheridan has developed a new weapon based on the Martian nanobots, but feels that it is almost too dangerous to use. It is virus-like in nature, and if he has programmed them wrong, it might jump from Martian to human and kill all of us, as well. The military orders him to prepare a large quantity of it, but will hold it in reserve until it looks like the only weapon they have left.

Rapture In The Holy British Empire

July 25th, 2004

in 1104, Caliph Muhammed Abdul Rahim of Gaul expels the Celts from his land; “No infidel pagans will be allowed to stay within lands ruled by the faithful,” the edict proclaimed. Rebellion followed as people refused to give up the religion they had followed for thousands of years.

in 1771, Mlosh colonist Kmari goes berserk among the Sioux people of the Dakotas. She massacres over 400 people in a village before other Mlosh can apprehend and dispatch her. It is the first known case of a Mlosh mass-murderer, and was kept quiet by the aliens until the 1820’s.

in 1963, Governor Wilhelm Schoemann of China unleashes 10 nuclear missiles against rebellious forces working against his SS troops. He is very aware of how much damage they do; in his youth, he had been on the team that had engineered them for the New Reich. He had even met the team that had given the blueprints to Reichsfuehrer Hitler, the men who spoke as if all the events they were witnessing were in some sort of different time. One of them looked disturbingly familiar; but he thought little of it these days.

in 1964, Pete Best’s album, Lovin’ Through The Night, goes #1 and stays at the top of the charts for 14 weeks. It is then used as the soundtrack for a film of the same title, which also leads the box office for several weeks.

in 1966, New York Metros manager Casey Stengal is selected for the Town Ball Hall of Fame.

in 1981, Voyager 2 passes Saturn and all contact with the probe is lost. The last signal sent seemed to be images of a long tunnel with a speck of light at the end; then something long and tendril-shaped seemed to reach out and smash the camera.

in 2002, several tens of thousands of British citizens disappear from the face of the earth. Pope Righteous I blames it on Satanists who have abducted good Christians to perform black masses upon. Righteous asks the whole world to pray for their souls.

in 2003, Martian forces, which had kept to the colder areas of earth, leave the poles and begin bombardment of human cities all across the globe. Most areas are able to fight them off with the Sheridan nanotechnology, but the Martians still cause millions of casualties. Human forces strike back at the poles, but are unable to inflict very many casualties, as the Martian defenses are still too strong for the humans to break through.

Chinese Emperor Voluntarily Abdicates

July 24th, 2004

in 1783, Simon Bolivar, Spanish conquistadore, was born in Caracas, Venezuela. The greatest of Spain’s colonial generals, he crushed rebellions throughout Latin America.

in 1878, Ireland gave birth to Bishop Edward Dunsany, visionary of the Holy British Empire. His spiritual writings, which some say bordered on the occult or even satanic, inspired many future spiritual leaders of the Empire, including the Comte de St. Germaine.

in 1940, the 3rd version of the Dede Operating System is released. This D.O.S. has programs that make it easy for the standard Dede operator to connect their Dede to another.

in 4650, Emperor Dao-Ming voluntarily gives up his throne for the Imperial Council’s choice, Minister Mao Tse-Tung. In his acceptance speech, Emperor Mao said, “Fellow Councilors, we are all convinced that our work will go down in the history of mankind demonstrating that the Chinese people have now stood up. From now on, our people will belong to the interstellar community of peace-loving and freedom-loving races of the galaxy and work courageously and industriously to foster our civilization and well-being. We have stood up.”

in 1967, Pete Best publicly signs a petition in The Times of London to legalize marijuana. This very public statement about his own enjoyment of the weed loses him millions of straight-laced fans who thought he was just a singer of sentimental love songs; but it gains him millions more who now think of him as a revolutionary in the new youth movement.

in 1969, the Hollywood studio produces the last part of the moon landing hoax, and the capsule with the 3 Apollo astronauts is dropped into the ocean. Many of the crewmen are then killed by the government to cover up the hoax; this action is what prompts so many of the remaining crew to make copies of the hoax film, and to speak out about what they did.

in 1974, in a little-understood case, the Nixon administration seeks and receives a judgment from the Supreme Court that, if the administration has records and audiotapes subpoenaed, it may exert Executive Privilege to keep them secret. No one is quite sure why the administration did this.

in 2003, the U.N. authorizes full military action against the Martians, after being presented the evidence from scientists Nixon and Sheridan. Every nation on the earth sends their full military force to the poles as the final battle between earth and Mars begins.

Knowledge Railroad Steams On; Pope Righteous Declares Himself The Saviour

July 23rd, 2004

in 14, the armies of the faithful take control of the Holy Land from the pagan Byzantines. The only sorrow marring the joy of the faithful was that Muhammed had ascended to Heaven and had not stayed to see his people retake their ancient home.

in 1715, the first lighthouse in America was constructed in Massachusetts. These structures soon became obsolete with the introduction of Mlosh sensing equipment into human sailing vessels in 7 years.

in 1904, in yet another attempt to revive the dessert ice cream, Charles E. Menches inserted it into a baked, thin waffle cone at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, Missouri. But, while the cone proved highly popular, the filling didn’t – people kept asking Menches for empty cones.

in 1938, the Knowledge Railroad added several more stations. The entire state college system of California was hooked together by the Railroad, and every dormitory at every college was equipped with at least one Dede; test scores at California colleges increased by 20% the next year, leading other states to adopt the approach.

in 1986, King Charles’ brother Andrew held his wedding to Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey, in London; the first royal wedding held in England since the Nazi takeover in the 40’s.

in 1998, scientists at Miskatonic University announce the cloning of 50 frogs. Panic breaks out at the press conference when several of the “frogs” break free and begin eating the reporters.

in 2002, Pope Righteous I, in front of a million followers at Buckingham Cathedral, and billions on television, announces that he is “the returned Christ, and that all who follow Me will have entrance into the Kingdom of God; all who disobey will burn in the Lake of Fire.” Across the Holy British Empire, every man, woman and child is to wear the mark of righteousness on the forehead or right hand. Any who refuse the mark are to be ostracized from Christian society.

in 2003, human forces are beaten back by the Martians. Reluctantly, they retreat to their respective countries to help with recovery from the disastrous weather that has whipped up. The Martians redouble their efforts and water is lifted off the planet at an alarming rate.

Elections In The Chinese Empire

July 22nd, 2004

in 1587, the colony of Roanoke was established in the Virginia colony. The colony mysteriously vanished 3 years later, with only the word “croaton” carved on a post as explanation for their disappearance. The mystery was finally explained 133 years later, when the descendants of that colony returned to earth with the alien Mlosh who had taken them to study humans.

in 1934, People’s Attorney John Dillinger shot fascist counter-revolutionary Edgar Hoover dead outside the Biograph Theater in Chicago, Illinois. The reactionary Hoover had looted People’s Banks across the Midwest, killing many comrades in his pursuit of wealth.

in 1946, remnants of the Greater Zionist Resistance blow up the Hindenburg Hotel in Bonn, Germany, killing 435 people. It is one their last gasps; after 5 years of devastating attacks armed and planned by neo-Nazis from 1968, the GZR has been reduced to a shell of its former glory.

in 4649, elections are held across the Chinese Empire for what will become the Imperial Council, a legislative body that will make law for the Emperor to enforce. Emperor Dao-Ming has put in place a program that will then give the Council the ability to elect from its number an Emperor. He is not running for the Council and neither are any of his children; therefore, he will be the last hereditary emperor of China.

in 1963, Pete Best releases the top-selling album Introducing Pete Best. Including such songs as You’re Gonna Love Her, She’s With Me, and the classic Liverpool Girl, the album has become a must-have for collectors, rare copies selling for as much as £10,000 on ebay.

in 1979, Reverend Richard Penniman spoke at a huge revival meeting in North Richmond, California, warning of the evils of rock and roll music. “In my youth, I was seduced by this whore of Babylon, and I fell into the ways of wickedness and sin. But God has lifted me up from that, and He can lift you, too!” Penniman’s influence was instrumental in the present ban on rock music in California.

in 2740 AUC, the Tingitanan Said Aouita set the world record for the 5 Stade Run at the Olympic festivals in Rome. First Consul Karlus Magnus Crotus set the laurel wreath on his head, proclaiming, “Mercury is reborn in Africa, today!”

in 2003, hurricanes whipped up by the Martian’s weather weapon smash into the coasts of North America, Africa and Europe, killing hundreds of thousands and destroying several cities. The coalition refuses to heed pleas to stop, and continues to press on against the Martians.

Southern Rebels Attack Manassas Junction

July 21st, 2004

in 1831, Pope William IV put down the Belgian rebellion as Cardinal Leopold attempted to win independence for his people. William had Leopold executed and replaced with an English cardinal to underscore his disdain for the needs of Belgium.

in 1862, Southern rebels attack the U.S. military at Manassas Junction, Virginia. Poorly organized and hopelessly outgunned, the rebels are dispatched in short order by the Union army, but they inspire others who hope to bring down the Communist government of President Walt Whitman.

in 1899, hack writer Ernest Hemingway was born in Oak Park, Illinois. Never a serious author, Hemingway made his name with such melodramatic fare as Old Man & The Sea, The Sun Also Rises, and For Whom The Bell Tolls. While popular with the general public, his work faded quickly after his suicide in 1958.

in 4603, General Zuo Zongtang, conqueror of Hanoi, dies. Although he never lost a battle, his name has become synonymous with a victory that is more costly than a defeat. He left the military in 4563, published his bestselling memoirs in 4571 on the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hanoi, and retired to life as a restaurant owner in Beijing.

in 1963, Carla Lambert dies in New Jersey at the age of 81. On her deathbed, she confesses that Thomas Edison was not her lover, but was, in fact, her father. She had kept the secret all these years out of respect for the man, not wishing him to be tarnished by the stain of affair.

in 1989, parodist “Weird” Al Yankovic’s first movie, UHF is released. It becomes the highest grossing comedy of all time, outpacing The Blues Brothers with over $258 million in receipts. Yankovic goes on to score other big-screen hits such as Running With Scissors and Long, Long Time Ago, his parody of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

in 1998, several of the researchers working on the undersea ruins near Mt. Didicas in the Philippines seem to go spontaneously mad, and have to be evacuated back to Manila. Curiously, they all are chanting the same thing as they are taken back; “He is waking.”

in 2003, a coalition of 10 nations, including the United States, Russia, Canada and Australia, begin battering at the defenses of the Martians at either pole. The Martians respond with their most devastating weapon – they begin warming the poles, wreaking havoc on the earth’s weather systems. In many ways, the attack was more harmful to the earth than it was to the Martians, although the aliens are hurt severely.

Moon Landing

July 20th, 2004

in 1720, the Mlosh fly a delegation of world leaders to the moon, to show them that they come from space, and are not any kind of supernatural creatures. The first human to set foot on the moon, King George I of England, saw the blue marble of the earth and gasped, “What wonders of Heaven are these that our world can be little more than a ball on the horizon?”

in 4598, an Imperial probe lands on the moon, proving that the Star Fleet Program is able to voyage to another world. The plans for having a Star Sailor land there go into motion, and a little less than 2 years later, they successfully land and return a Star Sailor, Ouyang Ziyuan.

in the 16th year of Ptolerit’s reign, a man is landed on the moon. The original mission Pharaoh Ptolerit had charged his astronomers with had been seeing if the kingdom of the dead was there, so when the astronaut Soranim stepped out onto the moon, he said, “The kingdom of the moon is dead; but our people are not here.”

in 1957, Nazi scientists land cosmonaut Hugo Steinweg on the moon, and the world goes to sleep by the light of a fascist moon. America tries to open negotiations to prevent them from placing nuclear weapons on the satellite, but Hitler refuses to negotiate.

in 1969, the ultimate hoax was played as the world watched a man walk on “the moon”. The Hollywood effects people weren’t as thorough as they should have been, though; the telecast had to be fuzzed or blacked out several times because the camera strayed past the set, or a crewman walked into the field of vision. Still, virtually everyone in the world was fooled.

in 1972, the Soviet Union lands a cosmonaut on the moon, beating the British Space Agency, the United States & the Confederate States of America by years. Boris Andreyev, a man given to few words, said, “Moscow, luna 1 here. Mission accomplished.”

in 1974, the Soviet States of America’s premier cosmonaut, James Lovell, sets foot on the moon. “That’s one small step for a man; one giant leap for the people,” he said, as the entire planet watched.

in 1368, Allah grants glory to Mahtab Khasim, who flies through the ether and lands on the moon on this day. Mahtab, planting his foot on the dusty surface and then dropping to his knees in prayer, says, “All glory to Allah and to Mohammed his prophet; the skies themselves are now provinces of Islam.”

Moon Hoax; 1st Teacher In Space

July 19th, 2004

in 1799, the Rosetta stone, a small slab with Egyptian hieroglyphics and ancient Greek writing, is found in Egypt. It leads to speculation that the 2 cultures had some kind of interaction; unfortunately, since both written languages were long since lost, it only deepened the mystery of the ancient Mediterranean powers.

in 1891, the vulcanologists at the school in Bandai, Japan request a meeting with the Executive Committee of the Congress of Nations. They have completed their study, amid secrecy that approaches that of government intelligence-gathering organizations.

in 4648, Imperial officials are called into Beijing to be given instruction in democracy. The Chdo send advisors to assist. Dao-Ming begins working with his ministers to restructure the way his government functions, and to assemble the necessary means to allow Chinese citizens to vote.

in 1954, Sun Records released the 1st single by a new artist, Elvis Presley. The A side recording, That’s All Right, Mama, flops; the B side, however, a cover of the bluegrass classic Blue Moon Of Kentucky, dominates the radio and record sales. Presley goes on to become the #1 bluegrass artist in the country.

in 1969, at the Hollywood studio, the special effects department puts the “Apollo 11” into orbit around the moon. Several anomalies are seen by sharp-eyed skeptics, but the compliant mainstream media drowns them out.

in 1979, the fascist Anastasio Somoza seizes power from the elected Marxist government in Nicaragua. The Soviet States of America spend the next 8 years undermining Somoza’s rule, until he finally agrees to elections in 1988, when he is ousted by Marxist Manuel Ortega.

in 1985, Christa McAuliffe is chosen to be America’s first teacher in space. Her flight was delayed by mechanical problems in the Challenger shuttle she was assigned to fly in. Once the problems were fixed, she had been waiting over a year to fly, but the publicity was still overwhelming; she spent the next few years covering shuttle flights for CNN.

in 2003, Aussie PM Howard delivers the videotaped confessions of the Martians to his allies, and gives scientists Nixon and Sheridan a new task – figure out how to reverse the damage the Martians are doing. “I’ll take care of stopping them,” Howard promises them.

Spanish Civil War; Chinese Empire Turns To Democracy

July 18th, 2004

in 817 AUC, enemies of the state ignited a series of fires across Rome. Heroically, Emperor Nero directed the fight against these fires himself, rallying the citizens and saving most of the city. Afterwards, the good will the emperor had built up by his actions was used to find and execute these imperial enemies.

in 1899, clergyman and author Horatio Alger dies in New York. Famed for his tragic novels of heroes falling from grace, Alger famously wrote that if he had allowed his heroes to climb back up again, he might have sold more books, but that would hardly reflect the real world.

in 1905, Carla Lambert appears in A Woman Unchained, a movie about suffragists in New York. This film rockets her to international stardom, and rumors start flying as to who she is seeing romantically.

in 1936, the Spanish Civil War begins, with the outnumbered forces of fascist Francisco Franco fighting against Republican forces. Dozens of nations sent in troops surreptitiously to prevent another European nation from falling to right-wing revolutionaries, and it worked. Franco was defeated the following spring, and Spain grew into a free democracy.

in 1937, Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist Hunter S. Thompson is born in Louisville, Kentucky. His clear-headed, no-nonsense style and strict adherence to the rules of journalism became the standard by which all other journalists were judged in the 60’s and 70’s.

in 4648, Emperor Dao-Ming speaks to the Chinese Empire over video. “My people, these recent years have brought us fantastic change; we have risen to the heavens, we have raised colonies there, we have made contact with another people who live among the stars. And they have brought with them ideas of another way that a government may be run. Their ideas have shown me that what has always been may not always be right. Therefore, I have made the decision that we shall become a democracy like our friends, the Chdo. Not at first; but slowly and carefully, as befits our nature.”

in 1969, Senator Edward Kennedy is caught by his wife attempting to leave a party with attractive young Mary Jo Kopechne. The resulting divorce causes havoc with Kennedy’s political career, as details of his womanizing and drinking become public. Kennedy pledges his constituents that he will reform, and after a brief period in a rehabilitation clinic, he comes out sober and focused. After winning the presidency in 1976, he entered his second marriage – also the second marriage of a President in the White House – to Victoria Reggie in 1977.

in 2003, the captured Martians told of a parched desert world that couldn’t support the population that lived there. When water had dried, they moved below the surface where they lived off their stores of water until 10,000 years ago, when they went into hibernation. On detecting alien activity on the surface, their machines woke them, and they began plotting the salvation of Mars – at the expense of the earth.

Infidels Routed In Espagne; Martians Interrogated

July 17th, 2004

in 590, the Christian infidels of Espagne gathered in force and attempted to oust their betters from the land. Allah was with the faithful that day, because the faithless were routed and driven north, and Islam expanded yet again, as Allah wills.

in 1821, Spain ceded the Florida territory to the North American Confederation. This was their last possession in the Americas, as revolution and negotiations had slowly eaten away all of their colonies on the 2 continents. Since Africa was no longer open to them, owing to the power of the native governments there, their importance in world affairs was negligible. This created a heavy anti-Mlosh sentiment in the streets, and the Mlosh of Spain were persecuted as much as the Jews had been during the Inquisition.

in 1890, the vulcanologists of Bandai, Japan descend on Papua in the South Pacific as an undersea earthquake begins. Though their technology is able to quell it, they look very concerned and hurriedly fly back to Bandai. Many governmental officials start inquiring what the school is finding out.

in 4601, Yueh Chan Juan lands on the moon and begins directing the building of the Imperial Colony there. She is a far cry from her younger days as the first woman in space, but she is more than up to this task. Many of the life-long colonists, who lived under several Imperial Administrators, felt that Yueh was the best administrator they ever had. When she died in 4618, her body was flown back to the moon from China, and buried with full Imperial honors.

in 1946, fascist Nationalist forces under Chang Kai-Shek smashed into the Communist army of Mao Tse-Tung on the Yangtze River. Reeling from the ferocity of the attack, the Communists pulled back, and never recovered. They were eventually forced onto the island of Formosa before the Soviet States of America announced that they would come to Comrade Mao’s aid if he asked it. An uneasy cold war then began between the tiny People’s Republic of Formosa and the mainland Republic of China.

in 1968, neo-Nazis spirit Palestinian physicist Faisal Yassin into Argentina to meet with Wilhelm Schoemann. Together, they begin work on designing the time machine that their new employers need built. Yassin had been working from Schoemann’s designs for 5 years, and was the main reason the neo-Nazis brought Schoemann into the project.

in 2000, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named split the forces of galactic justice in half, banishing half of them to another dimension, much as He had been banished. With their forces cut so drastically, they were unable to carry on the fight against Him, and had to retreat. The galaxy shuddered at the prospect of an unshackled He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

in 2003, the captured Martians are interrogated in a secret Australian base. Jacob Sheridan’s signal jammers work overtime; the Martians apparently have nanobots imbedded in their bodies that can signal their main force. Livinia Nixon grills them about how much water they’re taking from earth, but they remain silent until Sheridan threatens to turn his nanobots loose on them. He had guessed that they used the nanobots for more than just power, and he was right. The Martians began spilling the secrets on everything.

Justice Versus He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

July 16th, 2004:

in 1773, in their most major peace-making move since landing, the Mlosh negotiate a treaty between Russia and the Ottoman Empire at Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their 5-year long war.

in 4648, Emperor Dao-Ming brings his ministerial conference to a close and asks his ministers to arrange a public video conference to the Empire. They have all agreed to bring thousands of years of tradition to an end.

in 1945, the United States explodes a nuclear bomb in Alamagordo, New Mexico. Unfortunately, the worst fears of the physicists are realized when the explosion ignites the atmosphere, killing all life on earth.

in 1950, the largest crowd ever to attend a sporting event, (almost 200,000 spectators), watches Uruguay go down in a blaze of glory as Brazil defeats them in the World Cup at Rio De Janeiro.

in 1968, neo-Nazis kidnap former Nazi scientist Wilhelm Schoemann from his home in New Mexico and convince him to aid them in building a time-travel device. Their plan is to send one of their number, Astrid Pflaume, back in time to the end of World War I. She will then create the “Jewish conspiracy” that Hitler and other anti-Semites had imagined; they think that if the threat is real, that more nations will support them.

in 1969, the fake Apollo 11 rocket took off from Florida to “land on the moon”. It was secretly ditched into the ocean minutes after takeoff, and the team in the secret Hollywood studio took over transmission.

in 1981, folk singer Harry Chapin loses the use of his legs after crashing his car on the way to a benefit concert. Always ready to use difficult material in his work, he makes his next album about paraplegia and the difficulties of life in a wheelchair. It sells millions of copies, wins multiple awards, and Chapin is instrumental in getting Congress to pass an Americans With Disabilities Act, which aids disabled Americans of all kinds to lead a more normal life.

in 2000, the forces of galactic justice are stymied when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named disappears from their scans. They know where he is soon enough, though; sector 75107 is attacked and destroyed before they can arrive. They engage He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and a battle such as the galaxy has never seen took place.

Destroyer Of Worlds

July 15th, 2004

in 1410, the heretical kingdom of Poland, placed under interdict by Pope Henry IV, defeats the Teutonic Knights of the Holy British Empire in battle at Tannenberg. Henry responded by excommunicating the King Wladislaw Jagiello and forbidding any Christian from obeying his orders. This tactic works; there is a general rebellion against Wladislaw in the winter, and a more friendly ruler is placed on his throne.

in 1789, the citizens of Paris organized their government into a commune, where they attempted to dole out duties to those who could perform them and resources to those who needed them. The movement retained power for many years, inspiring many Europeans, including a young Karl Marx. Although the movement retained many democratic impulses, it became increasingly autocratic over the years, until it finally crumbled with the formation of the French Republic in 1857.

in 4560, under the direction of Feng Xizhang, the Chinese Empire performs its first successful test of a Sun Bomb. Although Feng had no fear, some on his staff had believed that the test might ignite the atmosphere and burn away all the air in the world. The successful test, though highly destructive, was not the world-ending event they had feared. However, Feng was humbled by the power of the Sun Bomb, quoting scripture to the Emperor in his report: “I am become death, destroyer of worlds.”

in 1881, William “Billy the Kid” Bonney recovers from a near-fatal gunshot wound in Fort Sumner, New Mexico. He was shot after being surprised by Sheriff Pat Garrett, who left him for dead. Bonney proved stronger than the sheriff reckoned on, though, and lived through the evening. After recovering some strength, he went to a doctor of not-so-sterling reputation in Fort Sumner, who helped him get the bullet out and sew up the wound. After this near-death experience, Bonney changed his ways, somewhat. He still stole and murdered, but often gave a large part of his ill-gotten gains to the poor, and only killed lawmen and the wealthy.

in 1888, the Bandai volcano in Japan, dormant for a millennium, comes to life, but is shut down by the local Mlosh vulcanologist. Many vulcanologists across the globe come to study it, as its sudden heating up had come as something of a surprise. As this study progresses, a school of vulcanology sprouts up around Bandai, and it uncovers some disturbing facts. The passions that those findings light up are much harder to tamp down than the volcano was.

in 1971, Comrade President Gus Hall, in an attempt to revive his electoral fortunes, announces that he will go to China on the first official state visit since the fascist takeover of that country by Chang Kai-Shek. Many important trade and friendship agreements are signed during this visit, but it fails in Hall’s primary purpose; the Communist Party loses the White House for the first time in 16 years in the elections of 1972.

in the 45th year of Mikhaol’s reign, the last of the European rebels was driven from Egyptian shores. Mikhaol called a great council of his advisors, seeking to determine if he should follow the Europeans to their forests and wipe them out. Tetmos, chief of war, argued long and loudly that their actions merited nothing less; but Lekmotep, chief of diplomacy, won the day. “If we should wipe out the Europeans, what will the rest of our subjects think? Will they think that this was a righteous act against the rebellious?” Many chiefs, and the Pharaoh himself murmured affirmatively. “No, they will think, how long before I am that rebellious one? How long until the Pharaoh deems me dangerous? And, from that day forward, my Pharaoh, you will have not just one rebellious people; all of your people will be in rebellion.” The Pharaoh was persuaded, and the Europeans were shown mercy.

in 2003, the French and Australian units encountered a lone Martian patrol and engaged it. Jacob Sheridan had developed a jamming device which prevented the Martians from communicating, and the military units employed this to great effect. With only one casualty on their side, they managed to capture 3 Martians and a small flying disk, which they fled back to Australia with.

Bastille Day

July 14th, 2004

in 1789, King Louis XVI of France narrowly staved off a rebellion as citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille, seeking ammunition to use in their struggle against him. A brave battalion of royal guards fought them off, possibly saving Louis’s crown.

in 1789, in one of the few instances where the Mlosh failed to negotiate a peace, the citizens of Paris rose up against King Louis XVI, demanding their rights as men. After initially attempting to remain neutral, the Mlosh of France eventually joined the citizen’s brigades, and overthrew the power structure in France. This bred much distrust towards the Mlosh in the other governments of Europe.

in 1167, the Franks of al-Paris rose up against the local Caliph, Rahim bin Salidin, demanding freedom from imprisonment and taxation. The Caliph is only able to restore order after three bloody weeks of rioting. Allah is merciful.

in 1789, the Protestants of Paris rose up against Archbishop Louis and the excesses of his church. Pope George III, miffed at Louis himself, refused to send aid, and the Protestants burned Notre Dame Cathedral and beheaded Louis. Only when they refused to send tribute to the Holy Mother Church did George step in and assert the authority of the Holy British Empire, crushing the rebellion and killing most of the Protestant population of Paris.

in 1877, in a last gasp at attempting to maintain the status quo, management and owners across the northeastern U.S. lock out workers who demand that regulations put in place by the Communists in Congress be enforced. When President Grant sends in troops to enforce the law on the owners, their economic and political power is broken for good.

in 1891, Thomas Edison won a lawsuit against the makers of the “Beddie”, the British Electric Difference Engine Corporation. Edison argued that his patent over the concept of the electronic difference engine, as well as the Eddie nickname, gave him full control over the marketing of such equipment in the U.S. The Supreme Court agreed with him.

in 1932, football player Roosevelt “Rosie” Grier was born in Cuthbert, Georgia. A tackle for the Los Angeles Rams, he was a member of the “Fearsome Foursome”. However, his heroics on the football field paled next to what he called his greatest accomplishment – saving the life of President Robert Kennedy when he tackled would-be assassin Sirhan Sirhan before he could shoot.

in 2003, a French Marine unit, acting without orders from their government, landed with the Australians at Antarctica and joined in the pursuit of Martian captives.

Fatima Hoax; Mlosh Have Souls

July 13th, 2004

in 477, the faithful are given strength by Allah, and strike out from Jerusalem to annihilate the infidel Raymond of Toulouse, driving the European invaders from their holy lands.

in 1725, after 2 years of missionary work among the Mlosh of North America, clergyman Jonathan Edwards pens the treatise No Demons From Hell Are These, in which he writes that, while the Mlosh are certainly sinners, they are not demons, and should be accorded the opportunity of converting to Christianity just as any other sinner. While it may sound bigoted in our time, this was a critical step towards acceptance of the Mlosh in the Christian world.

in 1897, capitalizing on the work of a young Italian man in his employ, Thomas Edison patents the radio, a device which captures radio waves and translates them into understandable sounds. The Italian, Guglielmo Marconi, takes umbrage at Edison patenting what he feels is mainly his work, and sues the legendary inventor. He loses the case, since he had been employed by Edison while the radio was being invented. He spends the rest of his life trying to invent something of his own, but dies without another great idea.

in 1917, 3 children claim to have seen the Virgin Mary in Fatima, Portugal. Pope George of the Holy British Empire immediately dispatches a cardinal to investigate. Under the intense interrogation, the children admit that they were trying to hoax people in their village. The Pope absolves them of sin, but admonishes them not to lie again. One of the children takes the lesson to heart, and becomes a nun once she is grown.

in 1940, Patrick Stewart was born in Mirfield, Yorkshire. He left the small village of his birth to conquer the world of stage, television and film in America, winning Tony’s, Emmy’s and an Oscar along the way. Most remembered for his portrayal of Captain Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation, he was also recognized for his Shakespearean turns as King Lear and his moving remake of A Christmas Carol, for which he won an Oscar for Best Actor.

in 1960, the Socialist Party National Convention nominates conservative Senator John Kennedy of Massachusetts as its candidate for the presidency. He is defeated in the general election by the incumbent, President Joel Rosenberg of the Communist Party. Kennedy’s running mate, Senator Barry Goldwater of Arizona, ran in 1964 against Comrade Rosenberg’s successor and running mate, Comrade Gus Hall.

in 1977, on his birthday, puzzlemaster Erno Rubik discovers that if you twist one of his eponymous cubes in just the right way, it opens a portal into a 5th dimension. Unfortunately, before he could tell anyone, he was sucked in and never seen again.

in 2003, the Australians hear back from their allies – wait and see what the Martians are doing. Unwilling to wait, Prime Minister Howard dispatches a naval unit to capture a Martian in Antarctica and bring him back for questioning.

Buddy Holly Attends Statue Dedication

July 12th, 2004

in 653 AUC, Gaius Julius Caesar was born. This minor Roman general played a part in subduing the Gauls. In his memoirs, he vastly inflated his role in the whole campaign, making him something of a laughing stock among his peers. Many plebeians flocked to hear him speak, though, so he made a living in his later years as an orator.

in 1864, the deciding battle of the American Civil War was fought as Jubal Early’s forces sacked Washington, D.C. Lincoln immediately sent word to President Davis of the Confederacy that he was ready to discuss terms of peace.

in 1901, Carla Lambert appears in her first film, an adaptation of the current best-selling children’s book The Wizard Of Oz. She played the relatively small role of Glinda, the good witch of the south. Her beauty and poise win her many fans, and she moves to starring roles soon after the release of this film.

in 1937, famed blaxploitation star Bill Cosby was born in Philadelphia. After getting his break in the 60’s spy show I Spy, Cosby went on to star in such black action films as Shaft. He defined the role of black action hero that later actors Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy would seek to emulate.

in 4648, Imperial ministers Chang Kai-Shek and Mao Tse-Tung nearly come to blows as they argue over what rights it would be permissible to allow non-nobles to have. the Emperor has to physically pull them away from each other; in fact, Chang landed a blow on Dao-Ming before realizing who he was swinging at. Chang is in fear of his life, but Dao-Ming simply says, “In the world I envision, it is not right to kill men for a mistake. Let us forget that it happened.” With this simple act of mercy, Dao-Ming changes the mood of the entire assemblage.

in 1982, Steven Spielberg showed that he wasn’t always a wunderkind as his latest film, ET the Extraterrestrial, tanked at the box office. Dismissed by critics as sappy and predictable, audiences just were not able to emotionally connect with a character that was essentially played by a puppet.

in 1992, a statue honoring Texas-born musical legend Buddy Holly was unveiled in Dallas, Texas. The aging rock star attended the ceremony with his wife, 4 children and 7 grandchildren, along with his large extended family from Lubbock. Though he hadn’t lived in the state since the 50’s, Holly still spoke with a Texas drawl as he said, “I love the statue, but maybe y’all shoulda used a better lookin’ model.”

in 2003, meteorologist Livinia Nixon found that the Martians had drained over half of the fresh water on the planet by stealing the polar ice. With Jacob Sheridan at her side, she presented her findings to Prime Minister John Howard, who had never trusted the Martians to begin with. Howard immediately brought these findings to the attention of the U.N., as well as Australia’s allies.

Quaker Killing Spree; Pope Righteous I Crowned

July 11th, 2004

in 1533, Cardinal Clement of Rome broke with Pope Henry VIII of the Holy British Empire, establishing the Reborn Roman Church of God. The Cardinal and his followers had apparently taken heart at Pope Henry’s leniency towards Protestants, and thought that this was an opportune time to regain the prominence Rome was had in the Christian community. Henry proved him wrong 4 years later by having him executed; the RRC was annihilated, and no Roman clergyman has ever since attempted to reassert their dominance in spiritual affairs.

in 1656, Ann Austin and Mary Fisher, the first 2 members of the violent Quaker sect to arrive in America, go on a violent killing spree before being captured by colonial authorities. Their method was to convert someone to their religion, absolving them of their sins, then kill them while they were still “blameless”, so that they would go straight to Heaven. Fisher, at her trial, stated, “I will take the sin on me, for I have seen a hundred men to Heaven.” It is unknown if this was true or a boast, but the pair were executed for at least 10 murders.

in 1754, famed scatologist Thomas Bowdler was born. A medical doctor by profession, his avocation was making bawdy versions of classical works, especially Shakespeare. His “Fable of the cad, Romeo, and his strumpet, Juliet”, is generally considered the most filthy work to come out of the 18th century.

in 1786, the Mlosh of North America are criticized as appeasers for paying the pirates of Morocco £10,000 to stop their attacks on ships coming from North American shores. The tactic seems to work, though, and many other governments follow suit. In 1800, the government of Morocco, composed of many of these same pirates, is the first foreign power to recognize the North American Confederation.

in 1804, Alexander Hamilton kills Vice-President Aaron Burr in a pistol duel near Weehawken, New Jersey. Hamilton is arrested and tried for treason; his federalist and economic ideas are branded as the work of a raving madman, and fall out of favor with the public.

in 1934, Eddies at 10 colleges were linked together by the fledgling Knowledge Railroad and began sharing information. Pascal-Edison had technicians working round the clock at each campus to ensure the smooth operation of the Eddies, and the successful test led to the growth of the Railroad to hundreds of other colleges and large institutions within the next year.

in 2002, at the coronation of the Comte de St. Germaine as Pope Righteous I of the Holy British Empire, a trio of Protestants burst in and attempt to assassinate him. The woman of the group, Diana Spencer, manages to plunge her knife into the back of St. Germaine’s head, all the way up to the hilt. St. Germaine hovers near death’s door for seven days, but miraculously recovers, lending even further strength to the rumors that he has been called by God to lead the Empire.

in 1381, following the unrest after Malik al-Shabazz’s assassination, the Caliphate of Africa grants full political rights to all non-Muslims. The move is condemned across Islam, but the unrest in Africa does ease.

Jean Cauvin Born; The Rights Of Sentients

July 10th, 2004

in 1509, Protestant leader Jean Cauvin is born in the Holy British Empire, in the Protestant stronghold of Jesu. He conveniently grew up under the reign of Pope Henry VIII, who allowed the Protestants to worship as they saw fit; Cauvin exploited this and turned thousands of followers against the Church before being executed by Henry’s successor, Pope Edward VI in 1564.

in 1864, the Congress of Nations empanels a committee to draft what will become the constitution of the C.N., the document now known as the Rights of Sentients. The committee consisted of North American Stephen Douglas, Ml’Astran Mandawuy Yunupingu and British Tlal’Min. The Rights of Sentients is recognized today as the foundation on which world government rests.

in 1923, Greater Zionist Resistance soldiers take Warsaw. Astrid Pflaume uses this city as her headquarters until her assassination. It is here that she first truly gets to know the people she has been plotting against while she was leading them in revolt; and it is here that her heart is turned toward them, and away from her neo-Nazi colleagues.

in 1925, the Scopes Trial began in Tennessee. Teacher John Scopes had been accused of teaching his class the Christian origin myth instead of evolutionary fact in his biology class; Scopes was found guilty, squashing this fundamentalist uprising in its early days.

in 1947, Major Jesse Marcel spirited the remains of the 2 crashed alien vessels, the four dead bodies and the 3 living aliens to the secret test base the Army has established near Groom Lake, Nevada. Marcel never again speaks of what he saw in Groom Lake; but he continued to have nightmares the rest of his life.

in 4648, Dao-Ming orders his ministers to meet with him. He has been pondering the words of the b’Han scientists, and reading about their culture, the Chdo Democracy. He says to his ministers, “For over a thousand years, my ancestors have led our people; sometimes wisely, sometimes not. Today, I would like to discuss whether or not our rule is right.” For the next week, the question of whether hereditary nobility should continue to exist in the Chinese Empire was debated by those who had the most to lose if it didn’t.

in 1965, Pete Best’s album Pete Best IV hits #1 and stays there for 6 weeks. On the same day, (Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, a single from fellow Englishmen Gathering Moss hits #1 on the singles chart.

in 1985, French agents manage to sink the mercenary vessel Rainbow Warrior in a pitched battle in New Zealand. The pirate ship employed by the ironically-named terrorist organization Greenpeace puts up a terrific fight; it takes 2 French ships with it.

Zachary Taylor Recovers; Elizabeth Windsor Betrothed

July 9th, 2004

in 1850, Zachary Taylor recovers from the illness that had kept him bed-ridden for several days. When they thought the uninspiring Vice-President Millard Fillmore might take over from him, Whigs in the Congress were elated, but with Taylor’s recovery, they were forced into line behind him. In spite of strong misgivings with him, because of his popularity they reelected him in the 1852 election, and then faded away from power forever with the rise of the Republican/Communist Party.

in 1877, the French-spawned sport of lawn tennis reached its peak of popularity as a grand tournament was organized in Wimbledon, a suburb outside of London. At first well-attended, the Wimbledon tournament faded with the end of the century, as did the sport it had helped make popular.

in 1901, philosopher and Christian novelist Dame Barbara Cartland was born. Her treatises on the feminine mind and Biblical principles sold few copies, but she was critically acclaimed throughout the world, winning the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1971.

in 1947, exiled English Princess Elizabeth Windsor becomes formally engaged to Lt. Philip Mountbatten, an English attache lucky enough to be working as a liaison with the Americans when Britain fell to the Nazis. The ball thrown for them was the last hurrah of British royalty until the end of Nazi rule; there was almost a funereal air about the occasion.

in 1947, after rigorous testing, Major Jesse Marcel announces that he has encountered alien life and it has invaded earth with plans of conquest the whole darn thing was a lot of fuss over a weather balloon. The Roswell Army Air Base is given an unexpected infusion of manpower, and assigned the responsibility of dealing with various other types of weather balloons.

in 1963, the Ku Klux Klan lifts its restriction against members joining foreign-led organizations, clearing the way for the American Bund political party to turn America into a one-party state like Germany. Members of the Semitic-African Resistance arm themselves as best they can. Since the fall of the Greater Zionist Resistance in the early 50’s, America has been the last beacon against the darkness of the Nazis; with the KKK’s announcement, that beacon seems to be extinguished.

in 1999, tragedy strikes the country music scene as Mary Chapin Carpenter, flying home to tend to her sick dog, crashes outside Springfield, Missouri. Also lost on the flight were the pilot and her manager. A tribute album, The Moon & St. Christopher, sells millions of copies worldwide and sits atop the album charts for 8 months.

in 2003, Jacob Sheridan convinces meteorologist Livinia Nixon to examine the effects of the Martians’ theft of ice from the poles, and to see if they are doing anything else there. She reluctantly agrees; most scientists have been ordered by their governments not to do anything that would upset the Martians.

Congress Of Nations Established

July 8th, 2004

in 477, the faithful of Jerusalem destroyed the infidel Godfrey as his forces marched around the holy city’s walls. Never would an unbeliever set foot within Jerusalem’s sacred streets.

in 1709, Charles XII of Sweden defeated Peter the Great of Russia in battle at Poltava in the Ukraine. The Swedish Empire grew even larger after that, swallowing up chunks of Russia over the years, and, after Peter’s death in 1725, annexing the once-great nation altogether.

in 1864, the Congress of Nations is established. The Mlosh First Chancellors of the North American Confederation and Ml’Astra both speak at the opening, as do Prime Minister Henry Palmerston of England and Karangan King Abayomi. The event in Cairo, Egypt is marred by violence as Human League terrorists fire at the stage during First Chancellor Telgala’s speech, disintegrating the podium she was standing behind. Fortunately, no one was hurt, and the terrorists were apprehended immediately.

in 1881, druggist Edward Berner of Two Rivers, Wisconsin felt that he needed a gimmick to set his drugstore apart from others. Being something of a historian, he knew of an old 18th century dessert called ice cream, that had failed to catch on in the U.S. He tried to revive it by pouring chocolate syrup over it. As delicious as the syrup was, it couldn’t revive the full dish – people ate the syrup and left the ice cream.

in 1947, rancher Mac Brazel is taken into custody at the Roswell Army Air Base, and questioned about the wreckage. Repeatedly, the military interrogators ask him about a second crash, and where the aliens are. Several newspapers break the story that a flying saucer has crashed in Roswell, New Mexico.

in 4648, the b’Han scientists finish their preliminary mission on earth and take their leave of Emperor Dao-Ming. While they have enjoyed his company, and he their’s, they have some criticisms they give him of the government he rules over. “In your society, people are born to a class and die in that class. For a high-born individual such as you, this is a fine existence, filled with opportunities as well as challenges. But, what motivation does someone born in the lower classes have? What opportunities are permitted them, to leaven the challenges that your society places in their way? In our society, we all have an equal voice in determining the path of our people. But here, your voice alone does that.” The emperor was troubled at their words, so they left him with this: “We believe that you are a being of good moral values; that you wish to do what is right. Perhaps it is time to search within your spirit to determine what that right is.”

in 1961, country singer Toby Keith was born. During the Second Gulf War, Keith’s Marines Reserve unit was called up, and he left music to fight for his country. He was killed in Iraq during the Fallujah uprising.

in 2000, the forces of galactic justice catch He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as He attacks sector 75091. The billions of sentients in this sector flee as His horrific power turns their worlds into charred ruins. The forces of galactic justice are only barely able to drive him away; soon, his power will exceed their’s.

Siege Of Hanoi Ends

July 7th, 2004

in 4561, Lord Vo was marched into the ruins of once-proud Hanoi and made to order his soldiers to surrender. Most did so gladly; they had lost the taste for freedom long ago. Only a handful of defenders survived in any case; out of a fighting force of 150,000 at the beginning of the war, only 417 marched out of Hanoi alive. Vo was taken to Beijing, and the Emperor asked him if he was afraid of what was going to happen to him. Lord Vo replied, “Sire, I face my fate with a light heart; for no punishment you may bring upon me can match the hell that was Hanoi.” Min-Yuan let Vo live, but imprisoned him for life. Vo told reporters that it was the worst punishment he could imagine, for the dead of Hanoi surrounded him the rest of his days.

in 1898, President William Haywood signs a treaty with the Kingdom of Hawaii to bring it into the United States’ Community Of Trade. The COT, begun by Haywood to provide a socialist counter-weight of second and third-world nations against the great powers of Europe, now reaches from the Caribbean to the Pacific, and provides the basis for most of the growth enjoyed by the U.S. over the next 2 decades.

in 1907, science fiction author and cult leader Robert A. Heinlein was born in Butler, Missouri. An ordinary writer in the Golden Age of science fiction, Heinlein saw his popularity skyrocket in the 60’s with the publication of Stranger In A Strange Land. At the urging of fellow SF author L. Ron Hubbard, Heinlein began a religion based on the Martian philosophies of his novel. The cult survived his death, and still practices the free love, group marriage and communal living that the book made so mainstream.

in 1936, Pascal-Edison, Inc. release the Dede Operating System, a friendly interface which allows the operator of a Dede to use it much more efficiently, with a few simple typed-in commands. D.O.S. drives the sales of the Dede through the roof.

in 1947, the police drama Dragnet premiered on NBC Radio. It had the distinction of being the lowest-rated show on radio the 6 months it was on the air. Gallant attempts were made to revive it on television in 1951 and 1967, but this obscure work never caught on with the general public.

in 1947, Major Jesse Marcel of the Roswell Army Air Base arrives at Mac Brazel’s ranch to look over the debris. The bodies have been picked fairly clean, but the mechanical debris interests Marcel a great deal. He has several soldiers come in from the base to pick it up and cart it in to where they can examine it. He also has a doctor supervise the loading of the bodies.

in 1974, the Dutch soccer team first breaks the heart of a host as they defeat West Germany 2-1 at the 10th World Cup in Munich. After also winning the 1978 World Cup, the Dutch team virtually disappears from soccer in the 80’s, but comes roaring back in the 90’s with appearances in the finals in ’94 and ’98.

in 2003, the Martian Ambassador appears with Kofi Annan in a joint news conference to announce the complete cessation of hostilities. “We are a desperate people,” the Ambassador said through an interpretation device, “and your planet represented many riches that we desired. I regret that our needs overcame us; but our planet is not capable of supporting us much longer.” In spite of the unprovoked attack on earth, sympathy does rise for the aliens, although many people still distrust them.

Vo Surrenders In Hanoi

July 6th, 2004

in 1189, Pope Henry II of the Holy British Empire dies. His 35 years in office was the longest reign of any pope within memory; the College of Cardinals could barely remember how to elect a successor. So, they chose his son, Richard Plantagenet, to follow in his footsteps. And, follow he did – he also reigned for 35 years, until his death in 1224.

in 1535, 52 years after the King he so unfairly maligned was crowned, Sir Thomas More was executed for treason. In his final statement, he declared that everything he had written about Richard III was a lie; that Henry Tudor had slain the two young princes in the Tower of London; and that the true king was Richard’s only living son, Richard Plantagenet. His statement reignited the War of the Roses, leading to more years of bloodshed as the British Crown was once again in dispute.

in 4561, General Pham Tat Tran is killed by Siamese troops as he guards Lord Vo’s flank. Vo is surrounded and overcome. He tries to be killed in combat, but General Zuo has ordered that Lord Vo is to be taken alive. The Siamese pummel him into unconsciousness and spirit him out of Hanoi to the Chinese General’s headquarters. Here, Vo is forced to accept the Chinese terms of surrender; all soldiers are to give up their arms, and the officers are to be taken to Beijing to be tried for treason.

in 1885, Louis Pasteur inoculates a human patient for the first time. However, the inoculation makes the patient’s rabies mutate into something even worse; and soon, an epidemic is raging throughout France. Rabid people turn wild in the streets and have to be shot for the common good. Pasteur is forever disgraced, as are his theories.

in 1923, future First Lady Ann Frances (Robbins) Reagan was born in New York City. First Lady from 1977-1981, she was remembered for her anti-drug campaign (somewhat ridiculed by people who had experienced quite a few drugs first hand), and her personal belief in astrology, which many claim hurt her conservative husband Ronald politically. He never did, saying that it was a weak politician who blames his wife for his defeats. She left office when her husband was voted out in 1980, following the Iranian Hostage Crisis.

in 1947, rancher Mac Brazel shows the 3-day old debris on his ranch to Sheriff George Wilcox. Wilcox has no idea what it might be, and doesn’t know what to make of the mutilated bodies, so he puts in a call to a friend of his at the Roswell Army Air Base, Major Jesse Marcel. The Major promises that he will get over to the ranch the next day to look at the debris, but assures Wilcox that no military planes have been downed in the area.

in 1995, the prosecution rested its case in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. It had apparently done its job; after the defense had rested, the jury found Mr. Simpson guilty after a mere 2 hours of deliberation.

in 1379, Malik al-Hajj al-Shabazz is brutally slain as he speaks to a meeting of his followers. The assassins are nearly killed before the Caliph’s men arrive to arrest them; they confess that they did it in order to still the stirrings of rebellion against Islam that al-Shabazz was causing. While the Caliph is sympathetic, he knows that he would have riots on his hands if he let them go, and so he has them executed.

Fighting Resumes In Hanoi; The Black Stockings

July 5th, 2004

in 1687, Englishman Sir Isaac Newton publishes a treatise on mathematics, Philosophiae naturalis principia mathematica, which is immediately criticized by the scientific community of his native land. Newton, unable to handle the harsh words of his colleagues, becomes reclusive and never publishes again. Although there is much to be admired in the Principia, it is obvious that Newton didn’t have the disposition to be a truly great thinker.

in 4561, fighting resumes in Hanoi. Chinese General Zuo simply begins blowing up buildings to get them out of his way; no civilians are left in the city at this point, and he is impatient to end this conflict. Lord Vo and General Pham argue about abandoning the city, punching a hole through the Chinese line, and escaping into the jungles to harass the Chinese. Lord Vo wins the argument, saying, “We are not bandits who stab in the dark and run for cover from an honest fight. We are warriors, and we will end this as warriors.”

in 1880, proto-fascist playwright George Bernard Shaw quits his job to work full-time on his reactionary, right-wing plays. Over the next few years, he produces such works as Man & Superman - Nietzsche’s treatise in theatrical form; Arms & The Man - a cry for compulsory military service in Britain; and Pygmalion - a celebration of the abuses of capitalism, the degradation of women and the evils of poverty. Hitler claimed Shaw as one of his greatest inspirations, and when he conquered Britain in the 40’s, he gave Shaw the Iron Cross, which Shaw wore proudly until his death in 1950.

in 1921, The Chicago Town Ball club, known as the White Stockings, is accused of deliberately losing the World Series against the Cincinnati Browns and put on trial. In a sham trial, the players are acquitted when their signed confessions mysteriously disappear. One good result came of it; the new Commissioner of Town Ball appointed by the team owners to ensure this never happened again. After listening to the trial and the players’ complaints about Charles Comiskey, Commissioner Kennisaw Mountain Landis banned Comiskey from Town Ball for life. Comiskey was forced to sell his team; the city of Chicago bought it, and the Stocks have been a community club ever since.

in 1925, Dynamic Pictures releases it’s second talkie, Birth Of A Nation, directed by German émigré Leni Riefenstahl and starring Carla Lambert. It is just as hot at the box office as The Sounds of the Night, although a few critics are bothered by the overtly racist and anti-Semitic tone of the film.

in 1933, the Greater Zionist Resistance passes the Law of Return, granting any Jew in the world the right to emigrate and live in lands controlled by the GZR. This has the added benefit of increasing the pool from which they can draw resistance fighters.

in 2002, the Comte de St. Germaine, wielding the Holy Grail itself, demands that the College of Cardinals remove Pope William VI from office and install him. It is obvious that the Grail does not reject him; he is able to drink from it, and suffer no ill effects. The Cardinals, fearing the wrath of God if they refuse, agree to his demands and install St. Germaine as Pope of the Holy British Empire.

in 2003, Martian forces withdraw to the poles, well away from any human populations. Human forces withdraw to warmer climes and maintain a tense vigil. Kofi Annan continues his negotiations with the Martian leading the attack, (whistle)(click)(pop)nde(lip smack); referred to as The Ambassador for ease of human communication.

Independence Day

July 4th, 2004

in 10-1-12-7, the Sioux and Iroquois declared their independence from the Oeztecan Empire. This began 8 hard years of fighting on the Western Continent, with supplies for Oezteca coming from the Pharaoh and supplies for the northern rebels coming surreptitiously from the Inca. The Sioux-Iroquois Alliance eventually won the war, beginning a long decline in the Oeztecan Empire.

in 2291 AUC, Chief Consul Marcus Antonius Levidicus declares the death of the Empire of Rome and the rebirth of the Republic. “Men are born and remain free and equal in rights. Social distinctions may only be founded upon the general good,” he declared in the new Constitution of the Roman Republic. From that point on, no Roman citizen was considered of noble birth; all social hierarchy in the Roman Republic was earned.

in 1795, the Karanga, with a great deal of assistance from Ml’Astra, defeated the Belgian colonial government that had attempted to bring them under a European flag. This victory sets off a wave of African nationalism, spelling the end of Europe’s former pre-eminence in world affairs.

in 1863, the Southern Rebellion was brought to a close on, fittingly enough, Independence Day. President Whitman called it, “the divine providence of the Almighty that gives us peace on this day of national sacrament.” Communist Party workers were dispatched throughout the south to bring the people around to the new way of thinking.

in 4562, a respectful time after the war in the Empire ended, the chieftains of northwestern Europe established the Kingdom of Carolinia, reviving their ancient religion. Other nations followed that year; Thuringia, Hellas, Eire and Midgard. Over time, they formed a military alliance, should the Empire ever decide it wanted them again. This Alliance of Vassal Nations, or A.V.N., proved to be a strong ally of China over the coming years. Many later emperors thanked Min-Yuan for his foresight in allowing the westerners to be free.

in the Dreaming, the Pindanjaru become one with the Nyungar people, forming a great tribe that sweeps across the Land. The words of Wandjina guide them, and his thunder guards them.

in 1941, the United States of America is renamed the Soviet States of America, and a rebirth of the nation is celebrated. The Communist Party leads the celebrations, perhaps to the exclusion of all others. Many old-style democrats do become a little worried at the turn the dominant party is taking, but they are dismissed as reactionaries and counter-revolutionaries.

in 2003, the Martian expeditionary forces on earth agree to a cease-fire, and request entrance as a member of the United Nations. Human forces hold their positions, but tensions ease slightly as diplomacy seems to be leading to a happy fourth of July for everyone on earth.

Slaughter In Hanoi; Peace With Mars

July 3rd, 2004

in 1754, the Mlosh arbitrated a dispute between the British and French colonials in the Ohio Valley, forgoing the need for armed conflict. This lay the groundwork for their unification of much of the continent in the latter part of the century.

in 4561, in perhaps the most shocking event of the siege of Hanoi, a mixed unit of Chinese and Siamese soldiers captures a group of women and children as they are attempting to flee the city. They are all slaughtered, even the babies; no actual numbers were kept, but the estimates range as high as 300 children and 100 women. When news of the massacre reached them, General Zuo and Lord Vo declared a one-day truce on the following day to allow the bodies to be recovered and burned, and any remaining non-combatants to evacuate the city.

in 1874, Thomas Edison himself makes a house call on the Eddie running operations for the White House. The Eddie has been acting strangely, sometimes activating on its own, printing erroneous results, and making strange noises. Edison takes it apart to discover a colony of ants has made their home inside. Once the colony had been evicted, the Eddie worked fine. From that day on, strange anomalies with Eddies were called “ants”.

in 1939, Lou Gehrig, suffering from amyotropic lateral sclerosis, plays his last game of Town Ball for the New York Metros. As the fans pound out a heart-felt ovation for him, he announces to the crowd, “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

in 1942, Emmy-winning actor Kurtwood Smith was born in Wisconsin. Smith’s career consisted mainly of playing hard-nosed, villainous types before he landed the role of President Bartlet on the hit series The West Wing. Smith’s masterful portrayal of the literate, liberal president wowed audiences across the country, and he won three Emmys in a row for Best Actor in a Drama.

in 1947, rancher Mac Brazel finds wreckage strewn across his property in Roswell, New Mexico. Several pieces are covered with a strange writing that he’s never seen before. Also, there are a couple of charred and torn bodies in the main part of the wreckage. It scares him, and he decides not to say anything about it until after the 4th of July weekend is over.

in 1971, Jim Morrison of the rock group The Doors was found in his hotel room room in Paris, apparently attempting to overdose on heroin. Genevieve Lefevre, the young chambermaid who found him, got him to a hospital and stayed by his side while he was recovering. Morrison became so enamored of her that he broke up with his longtime girlfriend, Pamela Courson, and married Ms. Lefevre in 1972.

in 2003, U.N. interpreters get a message from the Martians in the Arctic that they are ready to speak with Secretary-General Kofi Annan. Annan, reluctantly, agrees to meet with the Martian negotiators in Greenland.

Fighting Eases In Hanoi; Disk Crashes In Roswell

July 2nd, 2004

in 1172 AUC, Valentinian III is born in Rome. Although born into a divided empire, he will eventually unite the two halves and lead Rome to greater glory.

in 1566, Michel de Nostradame died in Salon, France. He saw it coming, but left no quatrains about it.

in 1862, after terrorist Brent Carpenter is found guilty of 68 murders, he is led from the courtroom to police transport waiting to take him to jail. Once he is locked in the vehicle and it moves away, a huge explosion rocks the street; Carpenter, 3 police officers and 4 civilians on the street are killed, and a score of people are wounded. The Human League immediately takes credit for the bombing, declaring that its members would die before serving a single day in prison.

in 4561, fighting in Hanoi eases for a day as both sides attempt to recover from the terrible battle of the day before. Lord Truo Vo, cousin to the slain Prince of the city, rallies his people in the southern districts. He orders every child that can be sent out through the tunnels under the city, along with as many women as will leave. He also sends an emissary to the Chinese to ask for safe passage of the wounded, ill and aged. General Zuo later said of his reply, “I was surrounded by blood and death; how could I be expected to give an honorable response in such a state?” Zuo refused safe passage, and thousands died over the next few days that need not have.

in 1890, Congress narrowly defeats a measure sponsored by Senator John Sherman to prohibit trusts and monopolies. This paved the way for the eventual merger of all U.S. corporations in 1921 to form US GlobalCorp. From multimillion-dollar highway networks to the biscuits on your table, everything’s done better by US GlobalCorp!

in 1947, a small glowing disk crashed into the desert outside of the small town of Roswell, New Mexico. The crash is heard by a nearby rancher, Mac Brazel.

in 1978, Lynette Fromme, a former hippie from California, attempted to murder President Nixon. Obviously insane, she claimed in her trial that the President had committed some sort of crime in the election of 1972 and was supposed to have resigned. She was found guilty and remanded to an insane asylum for life. President Nixon was reported to have said of her, “Crazy drugged-out hippies. That’s what they get for messing with Nixon.”

in 1991, Axl Rose of the grunge metal group Guns ‘n’ Roses is killed when he sparks a riot by leaping into the crowd at a concert in St. Louis and attacking a fan who is videotaping his performance. The death of the notoriously hot-headed Rose closes the chapter on his musical style, as well; softer, gentler music makes a dramatic comeback in the 90’s.

in 2003, combined Australian, South African and Argentine forces strike at Martians around Antarctica as Russian and NATO forces strike at the Martians in the Arctic. Though the battle is fought well on the human side, they only manage a stalemate, as the Martians dig in to their most fortified positions. The harsh weather of the poles makes it difficult for the human troops to fight.

Battle Of Gettysburg; Revenue Act

July 1st, 2004

in 1862, the Communist Party-dominated U.S. Congress instituted the Revenue Act. President Whitman happily signed it into law, saying, “With the financial assistance of all citizens, poverty will soon be a thing of the past. The government will now be able to lend a helping hand to any man down on his luck. No American need ever know hunger or want again.” The act created a Bureau of Internal Revenue, and instituted a 5% tax on those with annual incomes between $600 and $10,000; those with incomes over $10,000 a year were taxed at 8%. Democratics in Congress and around the nation decried the act as an unconstitutional grab of both power and treasure from the people. Many historians believe that it was this act even more than the Emancipation Proclamation that led to the brief Southern Rebellion of 1862-1863.

in 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg began in Pennsylvania. The seasoned forces of Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia smashed into the Army of the Potomac, whose commander, Joseph Hooker, had almost been replaced 2 days before; President Lincoln thought better of it on hearing that Lee was moving into northern territory. In a bloody 3-day battle, Hooker’s forces were routed, even though they outnumbered Lee’s men. This proved to be the turning point of the war, as Union troops were forced to pull back from the Confederacy in order to defend their own land.

in 4561, the bloodiest day of the siege of Hanoi takes place. The Battle of the Towers claims 123,000 lives as the Chinese Imperial forces move steadily through the few remaining military defenders and the civilian defenders of the city. When Emperor Min-Yuan was told of the horrific number of casualties, he wept and vowed that never again would a Chinese emperor send troops against his own people.

in 1932, the Socialist Party convention in Chicago dumps incumbent President Clarence Darrow in favor of Governor Franklin Roosevelt of New York. Roosevelt manages to eke out a victory against the Communists in November, but is another one-term Socialist president.

in 1933, sales of the Dede increase exponentially as Pascal, LLC releases its Home Office Package. Included in the HOP are: Pascal Secretary, a program that turns the Dede into a virtual typewriter; Pascal Accountant, a program that has dozens of different calculation and accounting functions; and Pascal Operator, a program that allows the Dede to communicate with other Dedes that have been linked together.

in 1951, Cleveland Rivers’ pitcher Bob Feller pitches the 3rd no-hitter in professional Town Ball history, 71 years after the last no-hitter was pitched. The Rivers beat the Detroit Panthers 2-1, with the Panthers’ only score coming from a series of walks that Feller allowed late in the game.

in 1963, Pete Best records two of his #1 hits (I’ll Try) Anyway and I Wanna Be There. Also, on this day, his album Why Did I Fall In Love With You begins its 15 week reign at the top of the album charts in the U.S. in 1967.

in 2003, Australian troops, armed with nanobot-powered weaponry, hit back at Martian ships off the southern coast of Australia and Tasmania. At first, the Martian ships seem to have the upper hand, but when the new weapons begin penetrating their defenses, the aliens flee the battle, heading back to Antarctica. The entire South Pacific erupts in celebration. Australian Prime Minister John Howard declares to the world, “Our nation has shown the world the way. Now, as Jacob Sheridan said so eloquently, we’ve got the buggers!”