Friday, July 23, 2004

Knowledge Railroad Steams On; Pope Righteous Declares Himself The Saviour

July 23rd, 2004

in 14, the armies of the faithful take control of the Holy Land from the pagan Byzantines. The only sorrow marring the joy of the faithful was that Muhammed had ascended to Heaven and had not stayed to see his people retake their ancient home.

in 1715, the first lighthouse in America was constructed in Massachusetts. These structures soon became obsolete with the introduction of Mlosh sensing equipment into human sailing vessels in 7 years.

in 1904, in yet another attempt to revive the dessert ice cream, Charles E. Menches inserted it into a baked, thin waffle cone at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, Missouri. But, while the cone proved highly popular, the filling didn’t – people kept asking Menches for empty cones.

in 1938, the Knowledge Railroad added several more stations. The entire state college system of California was hooked together by the Railroad, and every dormitory at every college was equipped with at least one Dede; test scores at California colleges increased by 20% the next year, leading other states to adopt the approach.

in 1986, King Charles’ brother Andrew held his wedding to Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey, in London; the first royal wedding held in England since the Nazi takeover in the 40’s.

in 1998, scientists at Miskatonic University announce the cloning of 50 frogs. Panic breaks out at the press conference when several of the “frogs” break free and begin eating the reporters.

in 2002, Pope Righteous I, in front of a million followers at Buckingham Cathedral, and billions on television, announces that he is “the returned Christ, and that all who follow Me will have entrance into the Kingdom of God; all who disobey will burn in the Lake of Fire.” Across the Holy British Empire, every man, woman and child is to wear the mark of righteousness on the forehead or right hand. Any who refuse the mark are to be ostracized from Christian society.

in 2003, human forces are beaten back by the Martians. Reluctantly, they retreat to their respective countries to help with recovery from the disastrous weather that has whipped up. The Martians redouble their efforts and water is lifted off the planet at an alarming rate.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The University of California system and the California state College system are 2 different school systems. While they both report to the state Department of Education (along with the K-12 and JCs), they are separate in just about all other ways...

Andrew Cory
punningpundit@gmail.com
http://www.punningpundit.com/

Robbie Taylor said...

That's how good the Knowledge Railroad is! Even with some colleges not using it, test scores still rose after its installation!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps in Knowledge Railroad World the CSU system is the better of the two?

Andrew Cory
Punningpundit@gmail.com
http://www.punningpundit.com/

Charles said...

Or perhaps in the Knowledge Railroad universe, the state college system of California includes universities?

Robbie Taylor said...

That's what I was going for. When I lived in California, I was a little old for college, so I didn't learn much about higher education there ;)

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