Information Is Not Free; D.C. Becomes 51st State

November 21st, 2004

in 1638, a rebel group of church assemblymen in Glasgow, Scotland, banded together and founded the Church of Scotland in defiance of the Holy British Empire. This was one of many problems that led to the secular rebellion against Pope Charles I, one of the worst Popes in Holy British history.

in 1694, Francois Marie Arouet was born in Paris, France. As a young man, he became one of the first humans to enter the philosophical academy of the Mlosh colony ship in Prussia, and emerged as France’s leading thinker. His treatises on existence and sentient relationships are still read with wonder today.

in 1783, the Montgolfier brothers, testing their new hot-air balloon, successfully managed to send a French nobleman, the Marquis d’Arlandes, and a prominent physician sailing through the Parisian sky. It was the first time anyone had flown untethered, and the last for a long time, because the Montgolfiers hadn’t quite perfected the method of landing the aircraft. The Marquis’ successor had them both executed.

in 4492, Chinese sailors in the eastern ocean discover a settlement of Polynesian people on a chain of islands the natives call Hawai’i. Though the islands are small, they are rich in agricultural produce, as well as natural beauty. Hawai’I soon becomes a trading partner and vacation spot for the Chinese Empire.

in 1941, with Germany secured from the Greater Zionist Resistance, German Underground leader Adolf Hitler has his architect, Albert Speer, begin constructing a New Berlin to show the face of what he calls Nazism to the world. Speer is assigned several staff members who are neo-Nazis from the future, who assist him with designs and materials from 1968. New Berlin will become a colossus towering over the rest of the world.

in 1974, Congress failed to override a veto by President Gerald Ford on the Freedom of Information Act. The rest of this post will be $3.95, payable to U.S. Government, Pueblo, Colorado, 81001.

in 1975, Congressmen of the Socialist Party, newly in the majority after decades out of power, release a report accusing the last two Communist administrations of complicity in the assassinations of several reactionary government leaders abroad, including Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet. Although a Socialist himself, Comrade President John Anderson orders the report suppressed because “it would do grievous damage to our country, and be used by groups hostile to the Soviet States to do damage to the reputation and policy of the Soviet States.”

in 1993, the first steps were taken towards making the District of Columbia the 51st state when the House of Representatives approved the measure. D.C. officially became a state the next year, electing its first Senators and Representatives in the election of 1994. They are widely credited with stemming a tide of Republican victories that year, leaving the House and Senate in Democratic control.