Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Total Election Wrapup

November 9th, 2004

in the period between 1788 and 2000, a cascading failure in the membrane separating alternate dimensions results in all elections in the United Soviet Confederated North American States of America Confederation Commonwealth being held at once. An astonishing 332 candidates of various political parties, ethnic groups, genders and species win the office of First Prime Presidential Chancellor Minister. Unsurprisingly, no one is really happy with the results.

in 1799, Napoleone Buonaparte names himself Emperor of Italy. Under his brilliant lead, Italy conquers most of Europe. After a disastrous winter campaign in Russia, Buonaparte’s empire begins to fall apart; he is finally defeated by the Swedish in 1814 at the battle of Copenhagen.

in 1934, Rabbi Carl Sagan was born in Brooklyn, New York. The spiritual leader of the Semitic-African Resistance in the northeastern United States, he led the non-violent movement through most of his life; after his wife and son were lynched in 1977, he began advocating more direct action against the worldwide Nazi movements.

in 1938, painter Adolf Hitler sold his famous Kristallnacht to the Berlin Fine Arts Museum. The painting, portraying angry Germans smashing a Jewish section of Berlin, has been an enigma since the day it was first shown; many feel it is Hitler’s cry against anti-semitism, while others declare it a denunciation of Germany’s historic hatred of the Jewish people. The artist himself never spoke to the meaning of the work, but it is his acknowledged masterpiece.

in 1940, Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain of Great Britain died in London. His successor, Oswald Mosley of the British Union of Fascists, brings about peace in his time with a treaty of alliance with Germany.

in 1946, not long after writing an article dismissing Richard Tolman’s parallel universe cultists as believing in science fiction, scientist Albert Einstein disappeared while walking down a street in New York City. Hundreds of New Yorkers saw it happen, and it made the front page of the New York Times.

in 1961, record store owner Brian Epstein saw local band The Beatles perform at the Cavern in Liverpool, England. He immediately offered to represent them, but overestimated their appeal as a band. Their drummer, of course, was international superstar Pete Best, who left the band the next year and started his meteoric rise to solo fame. On the same day in 1967, Best graced the cover of the first issue of Rolling Stone magazine.

in 1965, the northeastern Soviet States went dark as power was interrupted by counter-revolutionaries eager to bring down the great power. Canadian capitalists destroyed a generator in Ontario, and the gradual overload took out the power grid across the New York Soviet and several other soviets. The comrades of the Soviet States foiled their plans, though, and had power restored by morning of the next day.


Anonymous said...

I he's the Emperor of Italy, shouldn't he be using his Corsican birth name of Napoleone Buonaparte? :)

P.S. I love your site.

Jon K.

Robbie Taylor said...

Yes, he should!

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.