William Tell's Hubris; Robertsonville Massacre

November 18th, 2004

in 1307, in a vain attempt to impress his king, William Tell attempts to shoot an apple balanced on the head of his son. The resultant tragedy provided the basis for many legends of hubris over the centuries, including the William Tell Overture, a sad recounting of that horrible day.

in 1783, widespread use of Mlosh aircar travel leads the establishment of time zones, dividing the planet into 24 zones and beginning the day in Greenwich, U.K. Each zone was one hour later than the zone before it, reflecting the time it took the earth to rotate to where the sun could be seen.

in 4619, Star Sailor Zhai Zhigang is born in the Hunan province. Zhai was famous for landing on the moons of Moqsing, and being the first man of the Chinese Empire to discover the strange life forms of its moon Jin-tao.

in 1940, the German Underground’s fascist allies in Italy are completely annihilitated as they attempt to invade Greece. The neo-Nazis from the future caution G.U. leader Adolf Hitler to cut them loose and use his own people in operations from that point on, advice he takes willingly.

in 1962, physicist Niels Bohr, missing since 1958, is seen briefly in his old classroom at the University of Copenhagen. He ignores all questions directed at him, but says to the students gathered that, “an apocalypse is coming. Tolman was right,” before vanishing into thin air.

in 1969, former president Joseph Kennedy dies at his home in Hyannisport, Massachusetts at the age of 81. Although his fortune came from questionable beginnings, Kennedy levied it and the reputation of having lost 2 sons to the war effort in World War II into successful presidential bids in 1956 and 1960.

in 1978, several hundred followers of the Reverend Pat Robertson commit mass suicide at their compound in Robertsonville, Liberia. Robertson had led them to the African nation to escape what he called “persecution” from the Soviet States government; the reality was that he was being investigated for outright fraud and abuse against his followers. When Congressman Comrade Laugh Faircloth, who had constituents among Robertson’s followers, arrived at the compound to view the conditions there, he was assassinated by Robertson’s security, prompting the Reverend to order his followers to “Join hands and march into Heaven”, according to a tape of Robertson’s last speech at the scene.

in 1987, Congress issues its indictments in the Iran-Contra scandal, beginning with Vice-President Bush and including several senior members of the Reagan administration. Although President Reagan pardons Bush himself, almost 20 members of this administration still face jail time, and the vote to impeach Reagan barely fails in the Senate.