Carol Of The Hells; Star Over Buckingham

December 22nd, 2004

in 1853, Theodore Roosevelt and Martha Bulloch were married in Roswell, New Mexico. The happy couple disappeared for a week, and when they returned, Martha was pregnant with young Theodore, Jr. Teddy had an unhealthy grey sheen to his skin, but managed to overcome this handicap and rise to the presidency of the United States.

in 1900, the genetic engineer M’Kol’Ka was born in Si’ta’Pocha, Ml’Astra. Possibly the greatest scientist of the 20th century, M’Kol’Ka was the first scientist to splice genetic material from humans into Mlosh. Condemned by conservative elements as some sort of mad scientist, M’Kol’Ka in his public writings said that his goal was to show that the two races were strongest when they combined into one.

in 1912, in honor of the Winter Solstice, Sidney Peters of Manhattan, Kansas, pens the holiday classic Carol of the Hells. Its sweet tones have been heard every winter since: Ring silver bell/ Bring Christmas Hell/ Now gentlemen/ Pay for your sin/ Come quake with fear/ Satan is here/ Satan your lord/ Forever more/ Ring, ding-a-ling/ Evil is king/ Hope, fade away/ Despair today…

in 1968, Richard Tolman, a cult leader who hadn’t been seen in years, walked into the Oval Office in Washington, D.C. to speak with President John Kennedy. Although security had no idea how Dr. Tolman had entered the building, President Kennedy told them not to remove the scientist. After a long afternoon speaking with him, Kennedy declared a national emergency, and put the nation’s armed forces on high alert.

in 1971, former Austrian Chancellor Kurt Waldheim is appointed Secretary-Fuehrer of the Eurasian Union, the organization used by the German Reich to organize the governments of their conquered Eurasian nations. Waldheim was appointed by Hitler, himself, and enjoyed the favor of the Fuehrer until Hitler’s death in 1981. Waldheim was ousted the next year.

in 1984, comrade Bernhard Goetz was appointed the People’s Chief of Police for New York City. During Comrade Goetz’s administration, crime in the subways and streets of New York dropped by 12%, although the Socialist Party in the city complained of the comrade’s heavy-handed tactics.

in 4699, the Chdo Democracy receives an official embassy from the Keltav, a race from a distant galaxy. The Chinese Ambassador to the Chdo happened to be at the meeting, and the Keltav took a liking to him, asking if they could visit earth and see the empire. After word was passed to him, the emperor extended an invitation to his court.

in 2003, a star appears over London this evening, and its light seems directed at Buckingham Cathedral. The light of this star is strong enough to read by, and it shines faintly even during the day. Although Pope Righteous’ spokesman says that it is God’s favor shining down upon the Holy British Empire, its light at night makes the Cathedral appear warped and twisted.


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