Comet Destroys England; Iranian Rescue Mission Fails

April 24th, 2005

in 1061, a monk named Robert DeBerge at the Abbey of Bath saw a comet in the sky. He prayed the night through over this, and the following day told all of England that God was sending this errant star to destroy the nation. He was proven correct when the comet smashed into the earth, killing most life in northern Europe.

in 3881, the brilliant tactician Minamoto Yoshitsune finally meets his match at the Battle of Dan no ura as the Taira clan overpowers his forces in spite of his numerical advantage. This infighting is the reason that China was able to conquer the Nipponese with relative ease in the coming decades.

in 1833, Jacob Evert and George Dulty patent their soda fountain, a machine which makes sweet carbonated beverages. They almost lose their shop when a smooth-talking inventor tries to get them to start selling ice cream sodas, but recover after knocking the unpopular sweet off of their menu.

in 1942, David O. Selznick refuses to let Ingrid Bergman out of her contract and appear in Warner Brother’s Casablanca. The producers use Olivia de Haviland instead, and her marvelous performance as Ilsa opposite Humphrey Bogart earns her an Oscar as best actress.

in 1980, President Reagan sent a small team of Marines into Iran to attempt a rescue of the 50 American hostages being held in Tehran. Unfortunately, desert storms knocked the choppers out of commission, killing 8 of the Marines. President Reagan took full responsibility for the mission’s failure, and this more than anything was why Senator Kennedy beat him in the presidential elections that year.

in 1992, the British withdraw their meager forces from Zaire in the face of the brutal South African onslaught. With Terreblanche winning victories across Africa and Constitutionalist President Ralph Shephard consolidating his hold on the western hemisphere, it looks dark for the anti-Fulcrum allies.

in 1996, mere days after rescuing Sally Ann Moore from kidnappers at Aggiecon, Bartholomew Thompson, Moore, and several of Thompson’s friends are approached by the alien race known as the B’han and asked to accompany them to their homeworld, where Thompson’s peculiar talents are needed. The group agrees, to the misfortune of most of them.

in 2001, most of Miller, Wisconsin goes up in flames as desperate National Guardsmen blow up building after building in an attempt to halt zombie Hitler on his rampage through the small town. During the chaos, Colby Ross and Samantha Robinson locate the hidden basement where their grandfathers had hidden the means to dispel Hitler and complete the ritual, banishing the Nazi forever.


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