Baptist War; Battle Of Hanoi

May 31st, 2005

in 1224, Pope John succeeded his brother Richard as ruler of the Holy British Empire. A noble and enlightened ruler, John was beloved by the people, but despised by his cardinals and bishops. His 17-year reign was torn by many rebellions, all put down with the help of popular support. Under John's reign, slavery was abolished from Holy British shores; unfortunately, on his death, it swiftly returned.

in 1759, the Baptist Church triumphantly banned the performance of theater and all its immoralities from the Pennsylvania colony. The increasing power of the Church alarmed King George, and he moved to suppress it in the colonies in 1761. This led to the Baptist War, in which the colonies broke free from Great Britain and were established as one nation, under God and the Church.

in 4561, the Battle for Hanoi began, as troops loyal to Emperor Min-Yuan laid seige to the city. The 38-day battle was among the bloodiest in Imperial history, with over half a million casualties.

in 1871, the American Town Ball League, comprised of the Philadelphia Athletics, New York Metropolitans, Delaware Shipmen and Baltimore Colts, played its first exhibition game. Philly's A's beat the Metros by 5 runs to 2.

in 1884, Edgar A. Poe of Baltimore began a cult of personality around his experiences. He claimed to have been born in a world where he was a struggling author of strange and weird fiction. The cult, the Church of the Universal Masque, was involved in several murders and ritual sacrifices before finally disbanding in 1891 with Poe's death.

in 1898, expatriate reactionary Norman Peale was born in Bowersville, Ohio. Although raised in a good Socialist home, Peale was put off by America’s White Scare of the early 20th century, when anti-capitalism became official American policy after European suppression of their Communist brethren. Peale emigrated to England, where he became a minister and railed against America from the pulpits of Europe.

in 1961, Berryland, an amusement park founded by musical legend Chuck Berry, opens in St. Louis, Missouri, and thousands of fans flocked to it from across the country. It soon grew to rival Disneyworld, becoming Missouri’s number 1 tourist destination.

in 2004, three men came to Marjorie Adams’ home, claiming to be with the FBI. They knew of a break-in at the Smartnet node at UCLA, and wanted to examined some of Mrs. Adams’ late husband’s records. She carefully steered them away from the room where Cindy Berenson was feverishly working to decipher the file they had stolen from the node during the break-in.


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Jackson Shot In Duel; Marx Emigrates To America

May 30th, 2005

in 1806, lawyer Charles Dickinson shoots and kills former Tennessee Senator Andrew Jackson in a duel in Logan County, Kentucky. Dickinson had called Jackson’s wife a bigamist, and the notoriously hot-tempered Jackson had demanded satisfaction on the field of honor.

in 1843, Karl Marx moved to America and began spreading his philosophy. He became such an influence that by 1855, the Republican Party had renamed itself the Communist Party, and won its first presidential election the next year.

in 1900, nothing happened. Fnord.

in 1910, the Q’Bar began loading onto transport ships for their journey to the Kantar star system. Resistance was heavy, and only the threat of continued Jovian assault kept a full civil war from breaking out again. As it was, hundreds of thousands of Q’Bar died in the forced migration.

in 1922, Astrid Pflaume took a young Lance Corporal of the Austro-Hungarian empire hostage, for reasons known only to her and the people she eventually negotiated his release with. The hostage, Lance Corporal Adolf Hitler, achieved quite a bit of fame on returning back to Austria, and went into politics.

in 1930, a year before his death, Thomas Edison finally saw his dream fulfilled; the Desktop Eddie, (popularly known as the Dede), a difference engine that was the size of a desk and only weighed 400 pounds. The Dede became the first difference engine small and cheap enough for sale to the general public, and so the Dede opened the door to an information revolution in the 30's.

in 1990, President Dukakis of the US informed dictator Saddam Hussein of Iraq that the US would no longer be supplying him with weapons if he maintained his aggressive posture towards nations other than Iran. Republicans charged Dukakis with faithlessness towards America's allies.

in 2004, Marjorie Adams and her hacker friends assembled to view the CD Cindy Berenson had made of a suspicious file they had found in the Smartnet node at UCLA. The Emergency Instructions it referred to were in some kind of code; Berenson set to cracking it.


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Bloody Rich; Jackie K

May 29th, 2005

in 1224, Pope Richard I of the Holy British Empire, (popularly known as Bloody Rich), died of an infection suffered when an arrow struck him in the chest in an assassination attempt. In his last words before his death at the hand of Papal Guards, the assassin proclaimed himself a protester against the cruelties of the Church; this spawned the anti-Church movement known as "Protestantism".

in 1600, Francis Bacon's play Hamlet premiered at the Globe Theater in London. The Bard of the Thames had dropped his nom de plume of William Shakespeare the year before.

in 1776, the Mlosh colony in Australia renamed it Ml'Astra and declared their independence from both Great Britain and the main Mlosh population. The aboriginal population of Ml'Astra embraced the Mlosh as liberators in ways that most other human populations never did, partially due to the horrors the British had visited on them.

in 1887, the Eddie got its first competitor, in the form of the French Pascal Difference Engine. The PDE was a full ton lighter than the Eddie, a valuable selling point, as many buildings had to be reinforced before an Eddie could be placed in them. This hidden cost of owning an Eddie had made sales slower than they might have been, and spurred Edison to drive his engineers to work on miniaturizing the Eddie.

in 1903, one of Britain’s most beloved comics was born in London, England. Leslie Hope began in vaudeville, and later moved to radio and then movies and television. His radio shows and shows for the troops during World War II were credited by King George as being “as much aid as two divisions.”

in 1917, gangster Jackie Kennedy was born in Brookline, Massachusetts. Son of the notorious rum-runner Joey Kennedy, Jackie parlayed his father’s reputation into a larger empire in the Boston area, running a variety of illegal activities in Beantown. His life of crime ended in 1963 when a feud with his brother Bobby ended in gunplay.

in 1995, actor Christopher Reeve, known for his action hero roles in such films as Superman and Rambo, survived a nasty fall from his horse during a polo match. The athletically gifted Reeve used a move a stuntman in Rambo had taught him to twist during the fall to keep from landing on his head.

in 2004, Marjorie Adams and 3 young friends of hers from the UCLA computer sciences department break into the Smartnet node at the college and begin snooping around. One of them, Cindy Berenson, finds a hidden file labeled Emergency Instructions and burns it to CD just before the group has to flee the room because of a security guard on the way. They promise to meet up at Adams’ place later the next evening to examine what they have found.


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Orange Eddies; Amnesty International

May 28th, 2005

in 1704, Pope Henry IV succeeded his father, Stephen II, as pope of the Holy British Empire. Stephen II left behind a legacy of fanaticism unequaled in the history of either the church or the empire; thousands of so-called "Protestants" were put to the stake under his reign.

in 4558, Emperor Min-Yuan granted freedom to the vassals of the west. It was a controversial move that caused the Viet and Siamese people to attempt secession; in the war that followed, the Viet were almost wiped out, and the Siamese eventually switched sides back to the Empire.

in 1899, Thomas Edison announced the new Eddie for a new century, the Mandarin. The 20th century line of Eddies was named after orange varieties, and proved to be very popular; the cost was down to that of a new car, and they were the size of a large car. Edison vowed that with the Orange line of Eddies, by the end of the next century, an Eddie would be the size of a desk. Skeptics abounded.

in 1910, the Q’Bar sign the terms of surrender at the Barnard’s Star talks. They will be moving their entire race from the Mlosh home system to the Kantar star system, a move financed by the Jovian Mlosh, although Mlosh from across the system donate money to the cause. There is riotous celebration in all Mlosh communities after this victory.

in 1961, Amnesty International, an underground organization dedicated to documenting human rights abuses across German-dominated Eurasia, is founded by British lawyer Peter Benenson. Benenson is killed by the German Reich later in the year, but A.I. continued to go on, at least slowing the international acceptance of the Reich’s abuses.

in 1963, Comrade Elvis Presley, People's Attorney for the Soviet of Tennessee, declared that counter-revolutionary Lee Harvey Oswald had not acted alone in the assasination of Comrade President Rosenberg the year before. His far-reaching investigation was quashed by the Federal Soviet.

in 1995, an earthquake levels the Russian town of Khabarovsk, and in particular smashes a temple that had been erected 5 centuries before by Baron Mikhail von Heflin. From across the world, he senses what has happened and rushes back to the old country.

in 2004, Marjorie Adams visits the Smartnet node at UCLA to see if she can piece together some of the things her dead father had hinted at in his correspondence with her were true. After speaking with Doug Barrister, the new Smartnet Administrator, she is somewhat reassured, but something about Barrister doesn’t sit well with her. She plans a return visit to UCLA – with some hacker friends.


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Happy Anniversary!

May 27th, 2005

in 1800, the Mlosh finalized the independence of the North American Confederation from Great Britain, France, Spain and the Iroquois Confederation. The 3 European nations went into rapid decline following the loss of their North American colonies, but the Iroquois began a healthy alliance that lasts to the present day.

in 1872, on the 50th anniversary of Charles Babbage's difference engine, Thomas Edison unveiled his electric-powered version of the machine. The Edison EDE's, (Eddies, as they were known popularly), initially sold only to the US, British and French governments, became so useful that within a decade, most governments and large businesses were using them.

in 4600, the Emperor Chengzu's Star Fleet landed Ouyang Ziyuan on the moon. The Star Sailor's first words from the satellite were, "This is one small step for a humble servant, but a great leap for our Glorious Emperor." A dozen landings and a small colony followed, but with Chengzu's death in 4623, the Star Fleet became less of a priority for the Emperors of China.

in 1919, the Greater Zionist Resistance rose up in the European area known as The Pale, beginning the movement that would bring chaos to eastern Europe for the next 30 years. Begun by Astrid Pflaume, a fascist German time-traveler, a member of a neo-Nazi group seeking to foment an actual Jewish conspiracy, she succeeded in ways they had not anticipated.

in 1956, Joel Rosenberg secured the nomination of the Communist Party to represent them in the general election. He would face Socialist President Adlai Stevenson in the general election and defeat him soundly, ensuring Communist control of the Soviet States of America for the next 16 years. His own Presidency was sadly cut short in Dallas in 1962, when he was assasinated by a fascist counter-revolutionary, Lee Harvey Oswald.

in 1981, Fuhrer Adolf Hitler of the German Reich died in his sleep after almost 50 years in power. Europe was plunged almost immediately into civil war as dozens of subjugated peoples attempted to throw off their yokes after decades of fascist oppression.

in 12-19-6-1-0, King Chihuehue of the Inca declared himself the heir by marriage to the Mayan throne, after the death of his father-in-law, Emperor Mectezume. He was uncontested, and is expected to rule until the end of the age in 12 years, when Quetzelcoatl shall return.

in 2002, the immortal Comte de St Germaine finally achieved his goal of uncovering the Holy Grail. With its power, he began his campaign to have himself declared King of the Holy British Empire.

in 2004, I started this blog as a fun little time waster, thinking I would put down some ideas for different stories I was working on every now and then, using it as kind of a writer’s scratch pad. Instead, it got noticed by such diverse sites as Boing Boing, Metafilter, USA Today Online, Steve Jackson Games, and even Instapundit, of all things, and here we are a year later with over 107,000 visits, around 800 daily readers of the site and the various feeds that have sprung up for it, only one missed date, (the day after my daughter’s birth), and almost 170,000 words of alternate history fun. Today’s post is the one that I started off with last year; you can see the beginning of several of the recurring timelines in it. The one about Hitler dying is not part of the G.Z.R. timeline, in spite of some similarities – it’s just that all good alternate histories have to have something about a triumphant Nazi regime, (it’s in the Constitution or something). I really appreciate your time, and hope that you’ve found this site entertaining enough to keep coming back to.


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Dracula, A True Story; Chaos At Cassidy's Concert

May 26th, 2005

in 12-0-18-17-5, the Mohegans and Pequot began their long war of attrition. The Mohegans had requested assistance from the Oueztecan Empire, but were repeatedly turned down until almost a century later, after the populations of both people had been depleted by their long war.

in 1805, Italian Emperor Napoleon Buonaparte was crowned King of France at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. He had conquered the not-so-democratic Revolutionary Committee the year before, but had waited until most of the members had been hunted down and executed before claiming full control of France.

in 1897, the 19th century’s most sensational true story, Dracula, was published by Bram Stoker. Stoker used excerpts from the diaries of several individuals who had been victimized by an apparent vampire in London to make up his book, which terrified England and had amateur vampire hunters scouring the gravesites and abandoned mansions of the ancient city.

in 1907, costume drama and period piece fixture Marion Morrison was born in Winterset, Iowa. Morrison’s career in Hollywood started as a bit player in several westerns, but his failure in them led him to change his career direction and reinvent himself. The entire movie industry admired the true grit it took to transform himself from western extra to classical lead.

in 1910, Jovian transport ships embark for the Mlosh home system to start moving the Q’Bar to the Kantar star system. In spite of the general ambivalence most Mlosh in the terrestrial solar system had felt for the Jovian war against the Q’Bar, a huge number of Mlosh begin making preparations to travel to their ancestral home.

in 1960, Ambassador to the European Union E.L. Pettus accuses the Russian government of covert espionage at the embassy of the Soviet States of America in Moscow. Although true for the most part, it is mainly an attempt to deflect international criticism away from the American spy plane downed by the Russians just days earlier.

in 1974, the chaos at a David Cassidy concert in London led to the death of a young teenager and injury to over a thousand others. Cassidy was so disturbed by this that he quit touring and left the public eye altogether, becoming a recluse who shunned publicity and the entertainment industry.

in 2004, while going through her deceased husband David’s computer, Marjorie Adams reads an email in which he discussed some concerns he had about the Smartnet node he administered at UCLA. To her surprise, the email deletes itself while she is reading it.


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Smartnet Administrator Dies In Freak Plane Crash

May 25th, 2005

in Hellenic Year 3176, Comorus of Thebes makes the sun disappear with his powerful magic. The frightened citizens of Thebes make him their king; his first action is to forbid the teaching of astronomy to any Thebans.

in 1660, George Monck, a general in the Parliamentarian movement in England, assumed the title of Lord Protector from the son of the revolution’s leader, Richard Cromwell, in order to keep their dream of a realm without a king alive. Monck provided the leadership that Cromwell was unable to, and held off the resurgent Monarchists who were determined to restore Charles II to his father’s throne.

in 1787, the formerly united states of the American colonies dissolve the Articles of Confederation. The Articles had been losing their effectiveness since the end of the war in 1783, anyway. Several of the revolutionary war’s heroes attempted to bring the states together again with a convention in Philadelphia, but only 5 states sent delegates.

in 1803, New England’s elder statesman, Ralph Waldo Emerson, was born in Boston, Massachusetts. Emerson was the mentor of the Communist Party’s founder Henry Thoreau, and one of the first public figures to back his young protégé’s ideals after the publication of Thoreau’s and Marx’s Communist Manifesto.

in 1844, New York City’s Stuart Perry patented an engine that ran on gasoline, a refined oil. Because gasoline was so hard to make, the design didn’t make much of an impact until it was modified to use vegetable-based oils; this engine runs most large machinery today.

in 1974, Jim Morrison’s ex-wife Pam died of a drug overdose in Los Angeles, California. Morrison had divorced her after going through drug rehabilitation in 1972, and her drug use had spiraled out of control since then. Morrison had attempted to get her into rehab earlier in the year, but she had refused his help.

in 1983, George Lucas released the last of his Star Wars films, The Revenge Of The Jedi. In spite of hinting at a larger backstory, Lucas never returned to the series, preferring to concentrate on other projects, such as his game and special effects businesses. He also started a computer graphics based animation studio, Pixar, that soon became as synonymous with cartoon excellence as Disney had once been.

in 2004, David Adams, a computer science professor at UCLA, frantically attempts to contact the White House about the Smartnet node he administers at the university in Los Angeles. He dies later that evening as the plane he is flying in to Washington, D.C. crashes in a freak collision at Dulles International Airport.


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Battle Of Pichincha; Smartnet Operations Begin

May 24th, 2005

in 1543, Nicolaus Copernicus, heretical astronomer, was hunted down by good Christians and burned at the stake. His treatise Six Books Concerning the Revolution of the Heavenly Orbs maintained that the earth was not at the center of the universe, contradicting the Bible and angering the Church fathers of his native Poland.

in 1764, Boston lawyer James Otis decried the British Parliament’s taxation without representation, which he attempted to make a rallying cry for colonial resistance against English rule; the utter lack of support he gathered for this cause demonstrated how little people cared about a few cents in taxes.

in 1822, the Spanish military defeats revolutionary Simon Bolivar at Pichinca, and captures the legendary Creole himself. While being transported back to Spain, the ship carrying Bolivar is attacked by pirates, who swear allegiance to Bolivar. He builds these two ships into a small fleet that liberates many Spanish possessions across the world.

in 1910, the Jovian Mlosh alliance begins negotiating with the Congress of Nations for transport ships to help move the Q’Bar from the Mlosh home system to the Kantar star system. It appears that the Q’Bar will soon be vacating the system that has been their home since the Mlosh created them.

in 1913, the New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad learned that the U.S. Department of Labor was going to stand firmly on the side of the workers in America as they ended a Railroad Clerks Union strike in favor of the union. Socialist President Woodrow Wilson, in spite of intense lobbying from the owners of several trusts, stands behind his Labor Secretary, and capitalists in America wake up to their new reality.

in 1964, Ed Sullivan played a taped performance of Pete Best on his show “in order to avoid all the screaming girls.” The international superstar played his hit song Love & Money from his upcoming movie All Night Long.

in 1986, the boy band The Monkees finally called it quits on their 20th Anniversary tour. They had lost original members Mike Nesmith in ’74 and Davy Jones in ’79, and Mickey Dolenz and Peter Tork were ready to move on to other projects. Their legions of fans were saddened, but after 20 years together, it did seem to be time for them to part.

in 2004, the first Smartnet nodes began operation around the country. Concentrated in college towns and large industrial centers at first, the Smartnet wireless connections to the internet prove so popular that Congress expands the funding for them. President Al Gore basks in the glow of the popular program, and his approval ratings soar.


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Captain Kidd Knighted; Ella Covers Best

May 23rd, 2005

in 1701, Captain William Kidd was knighted by King William III for his diligence in defending English ships against piracy on the American coast. He had been commissioned with the task 6 years earlier by the governor of New York, and had proven wonderfully adept at it. “It’s almost as if he has a pirate’s mind himself,” King William said during the ceremony.

in 1872, construction completed on Thomas Edison’s Edison Difference Engine, or Eddie as they became known popularly. The Eddie was a newer, better version of Charles Babbage’s difference engine, and Edison scheduled an unveiling for the following Monday to present his latest invention to the world.

in 4600, Star Sailor Ouyang Ziyuan of the Chinese Star Fleet was launched to the moon. This first manned mission to the earth’s satellite was the beginning of Emperor Chengzu’s Star Fleet’s greatest period, culminating in a small lunar colony.

in 1910, Jovian Mlosh capture the Li’Kek’Uma moon in the Mlosh home system, and with it, millions of Q’Barian supporters of Q’B’Ton’ra. With this defeat, the last few military leaders who had been fighting the Q’Barian rebels and the Jovians surrenders, and the Barnard’s Star talks move towards terms of surrender.

in 1934, Comrade Sheriff Clyde Barrow led the capture of noted counter-revolutionaries J. Edgar “Sweety” Hoover and Clyde “Gunner” Tolson. Comrade Barrow and his posse of deputies were forced to wound both of the outlaws, but were able to take them alive, in spite of a barrage of gunfire from the pair.

in 1945, Chief of Police for the German Reich, Heinrich Himmler, was assassinated by Greater Zionist Resistance sympathizers in Berlin, Germany. Himmler needed no assistance from the G.Z.R. to be hated; his repression made him universally despised across the Reich.

in 1964, international sensation Pete Best’s song Can’t Get Enough Love was remade by American singer Ella Fitzegerald and hit the top 50 on the U.K. charts. She was the first artist to chart with a cover of a Pete Best song.

in 2003, President Al Gore’s Smartnet initiative reaches the U.S. Congress. In it, President Gore calls for a national wireless system of connectivity to the internet. It is derided by Republicans as “technobabble”, but it passes both House and Senate by good majorities, and proves to be a large boon to the laptop computer industry.


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Battle Of St. Albans

May 22nd, 2005

in 1455, Yorkists usurpers defeated King Henry VI at the Battle of St. Albans, but the King escaped and rallied his supporters to drive Duke Richard of York away in the Battle of London. The remainder of King Henry’s desperate reign was marked with constant warfare against the Yorkists, ending only in his death in 1469 in a boating accident. The Yorkists lacked the support to put their leader, Edward, on the throne, but the marriage of old Richard of York to Henry’s widow Margaret did put an end to the fighting.

in 1807, former Vice-President Aaron Burr was tried and convicted of treason for his plan to create his own republic in the American southwest. He was executed by firing squad for the crime, the first elected official in the new country to be killed by judicial order.

in 1841, Philadelphia craftsman Henry Kennedy received a patent for his reclining chair, a device which was outlawed the next year because of its promotion of sloth and laziness. Even though its great evils have been denounced from pulpit and altar, many Americans are still arrested with these instruments of indolence every year.

in 1965, Pete Best’s eighth consecutive number 1 hit, Passport To Your Heart, hit the top of the charts in America. It was knocked off the top spot the next week by Best’s next release, Tell Me How You Feel.

in 1969, Apollo 10’s lunar module, just a few miles above the moon’s surface, experienced an instrument failure and crashed. Although astronauts Tom Stafford and Gene Cernan survived, NASA had no way of rescuing them. Before his oxygen ran out, Stafford, commander of the mission, became the first man to set foot on the moon, saying, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for all mankind.”

in 1972, Comrade President Gus Hall arrived in Moscow to finalize several agreements with the Russian royal family. Comrade Hall’s last years in office were spent attempting to mend some fences between the Soviet States of America and the capitalist monarchies of the eastern hemisphere; it paved the way for Comrade President John Anderson’s historic visit to Brazil later in the decade.

in 1995, after the Laverne & Shirley 20th Aniversary special, director Penny Marshal and actress Cindy Williams decide to revisit the series and create Laverne & Shirley, the next generation. The new series shows the two friends in their later years as grandmothers in the 1980’s, and is a huge hit among nostalgic baby boomers.

in 2002, the remains of intern Chandra Levy were found in a park in the Washington D.C. area. Conclusive evidence found with the body showed that she had been kidnapped by a rapist who had been preying on women in her neighborhood, rather than by suspect Congressman Gary Condit. Red-faced conservative commentators who had been flogging Condit apologized profusely for their suspicion, and Condit easily won reelection later that year.


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Aristocles Born; Lindbergh Crashes In Atlantic

May 21st, 2005

in Hellenic Year 3334, distinguished Athenian statesman Aristocles was born in Athens. Under his leadership, Athens regained a portion of the glory it had lost in the Peloponnesian War, and extended the democratic ideal to several smaller city-states.

in 1910, Q’B’Ton’ra is executed by his former military leaders in an effort to quell his supporters in the civil war raging in the Mlosh home system. Their leader’s death does take the wind out of their sails, and mass surrenders begin across the system.

in 1924, reactionaries Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb were arrested by Chicago police after attempting to assassinate Comrade Judge Clarence Darrow. The pair were the children of industrialists who fled the country soon after; it was thought the young men acted as part of a larger conspiracy against Chicago’s Communist Party.

in 1927, French aviation fans waiting for American Charles Lindbergh at Le Bourget Field in Paris are thrown into mourning when news reaches them that young Mr. Lindbergh has ditched in the Atlantic. He had fallen asleep at the controls, and since weight restrictions had forced him to fly without a parachute, he died in the crash.

in 1945, noted surgeon and New York socialite Humphrey Bogart wed the much younger Betty Perske, a dancer with the New York Ballet. 46-year-old Bogart and his 23-year-old bride were the subject of many scandalous reports in the Big Apple’s gossip columns, but they seemed to be truly in love – they remained married until Bogart’s death from lung cancer in 1957.

in 1971, Pete Best released Scapegoat, a musical stab at his former bandmates The Silver Beatles, who had been talking to tabloids about him. The album mocked their bitterness at their lack of success without him.

in 1988, in an attempt to strengthen his own position, Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev dismissed the Communist Party leaders in Armenia and Azerbaijan. This triggers a rebellion within the Soviet Union’s Communists, and Gorbachev is ousted from power in a military coup the next year.

in 1991, Rajiv Gandhi barely escaped an assassination attempt when he dropped a bouquet that had been handed to him while being pressed by a crowd of supporters. A bomb hidden in the bouquet exploded, killing a young girl and wounding several people in the crowd; the scene of Gandhi holding the young girl as she died propelled him back into the Prime Minister’s position, where he led a renewed Indian assault against domestic terrorism.


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Cortes, Emperor Of The Aztecs

May 20th, 2005

in 1506, crackpot sailor Cristobal Colon died in Valladolid, Spain. For over a decade, he had scoured Europe seeking financial backing for a planned trip across the Atlantic to India, rather than over land or south around Africa. He thought that Asia was a short distance across the Atlantic, but no one of any importance believed him.

in 1520, Hernando Cortes declared himself the new Emperor of the Aztecs after using them as shock troops to defeat Spanish soldiers sent to capture him. His New Aztec Empire became a thorn in the side of Spanish expansion in the New World, bringing in allies from the native population who preferred conquest by people of their own continent to European domination.

in 1774, in yet another rebuke to King George, Parliament refuses to pass his Coercive Acts to punish the American colonists. Their efforts at reconciliation, although constantly being sabotaged by the King’s efforts, are effective at appeasing the colonists and keeping them within the empire rather than attempting a revolution.

in 1910, Q’Bar rebels locate and destroy the headquarters of the Q’B’Ton’ran forces in the Mlosh home system, crippling their forces in the war. The rebels ask the Congress of Nations for assistance, but the C.N. is reluctant to be drawn further into the conflict. The Jovian Mlosh are actively fighting on their side, and giving them all the reinforcements they want.

in 1946, English poet W.H. Auden became a citizen of the Soviet States of America, defecting from his native Britain because of persecution against his leftist sympathies. He was never able to return to England, and died in America in 1973.

in 1952, the German Reich completed its conquest of Burma, and the rest of Asia was feeling the pressure of their presence. China was already in combat with the Reich, but many southeast Asian nations were considering surrender to the Germans.

in 1978, the film The Buddy Holly Story premiered in the music legend’s hometown of Lubbock, Texas. It documented Holly’s life up through 1975, when he reconciled with The Crickets and started touring with them again. Holly himself showed up for the premiere, which drew crowds from across America and snarled traffic in Lubbock for days.

in 1993, a 10 kilometer wide meteor strikes the Pacific Ocean, sending huge waves across Asia, the Americas and Australia. While the destruction is massive, with millions dead and hundreds of cities wiped out, the world is thankful that it wasn’t worse.


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Star Wars

May 19th, 2005

in 1588, the Invincible Armada of Spain set sail for the English Channel. Once they had obliterated the British navy, they transported Spanish troops to the English mainland, conquering the once-proud island nation for King Phillip.

in 1897, the Marquess of Queensbury shot author Oscar Wilde on the day of his release from prison. The Marquess had been angered by Wilde’s homosexual affair with his son, and wanted the author dead before he could flee the country. Wilde’s intention to leave England for Paris was well known among his associates, and the Marquess was not going to stand for it.

in 1910, Q’Barian supporters of Q’B’Ton’ra attack the Jovian capitol of H’ket’Lika on Europa in an effort to draw Jovian forces away from the Mlosh home system. The plan backfires – the Q’B’Ton’rans are decimated by the Jovian system’s defenses.

in 1925, American leader of the Semitic-African Resistance, Malcolm Little, was born in Omaha, Nebraska. His experience with racism in America forged him into one of the nation’s most effective leaders of the S.A.R., willing to strike back when necessary.

in 4648, Sumo wrestler Yoshio Shirai defeated Chinese champion Xu Beihong to recapture the Imperial Championship for Nippon for the first time in a century. Ever since the sport had gained popularity in the Chinese Empire in 4539, Chinese champions had held the crown; Yoshio’s victory brought dancing in the streets across Nippon.

in 1967, the Senate of the Soviet States of America ratified a treaty with Europe banning nuclear weapons in space. It was assumed by all sides that the world would be better off without having to worry about atomic bombs from the heavens, but the treaty also restricted nuclear-powered spacecraft, a limitation that both sides soon found too restrictive.

in 1999, schlock filmmaker George Lucas released the 4th episode in his space opera series, Star Wars. It had taken him 16 years to find backers willing to fund another bomb, since Lucas’ career had stalled with the original movie in 1977. A small devoted core of fans kept him going, and that’s what the producers were counting on.

in 2003, Worldcom’s offer of $500 million to settle its $11 billion accounting fraud is seen as not just inadequate, but an insult to investors, who press for criminal charges against the company’s management.


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In Labor We Trust

May 18th, 2005

in 1302, inspired by stories of the Greek democracies, Flemish weaver Peter de Coninck led a revolt against the oligarchical rulers of his people and installed Peasant’s Council to rule the Flemish people. This lasted until 1381, when they were conquered by French noblemen.

in 1802, Italian ruler Napoleon Buonaparte’s interference in France and Switzerland causes Great Britain to declare war against him. It is along and bitter struggle, as Buonaparte is a military genius and the British are slow to gain allies.

in 1908, Congress passed legislation to add a motto onto American coinage: In Labor We Trust. Comrades across the nation rejoiced at the declaration of America’s status as the Worker’s Paradise, and Communist Party leader Eugene Debs used it as his campaign’s motto in his successful presidential run.

in 1910, the Mlosh home system erupts in civil war, with the Q’Barian rebels gaining a quick upper hand, backed by the Jovians, who see an opportunity to gain control of the system this way.

in 1926, Aimee Semple McPherson was raptured. Millions of her followers expected to follow, but it looked like she was the only one called at this time. Disappointed Christians missed the charismatic evangelist, but rejoiced that she had been called to Heaven.

in 1974, India exploded its first nuclear weapon. Alarmed at the thought of a hostile neighbor with atomic bombs, China and Pakistan made a secret alliance and invaded India one month later. Although they used their one remaining nuke to bomb Beijing, India was conquered by the combined Pakistani and Chinese forces in the 2 year-long war.

in 12-18-6-16-15, the Louwala-Clough volcano erupted in the northwest territories of the Salish people, sending refugees streaming south. Emperor Tchihuitcho declared the area a disaster, and sent troops and money in to help the Salish dig out and rebuild the land, although he forbade them from building too close to the volcano again.

in 1994, Israeli occupation of the Gaza Strip ended, and the newly-created Palestinian Authority took over. Since the Jewish nation worked with the Palestinians to strengthen their government, the Palestinians were able to quell dissenters within their own ranks who were still calling for war with Israel, and the two nations began their first peaceful coexistence.


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Brown V Board Of Education

May 17th, 2005

in 918, Humayan, emperor of the Moguls, defeated Sher Khan of the Afghans at Kanauj, adding these people to his realm. Humayan’s spread through central Asia brought fear from those infidels who still believed in the false religions, and helped to spread the true faith of Islam in the continent.

in 1787, the Sisters, an English slave ship bound for Cuba, was taken over by a slave revolt. The newly-freed crew took to piracy in the Caribbean, freeing slaves wherever they found them and butchering the slave traders. They became so feared that the slave trade in the Caribbean was halted for the 15 years they sailed.

in 1814, Sweden assumed control of Norway from Denmark. Although the Norwegians had been promised autonomy and a limited monarchy, the Swedes reneged on the promise and placed them under the Swedish crown. This led to a war between the two nations that lasted until 1816, and ended with complete Norwegian independence.

in 1910, supporters of Q’B’Ton’ra strafe the Q’Bar compound at Barnard’s Star, killing most of the representatives before being caught by a Congress of Nations warship and destroyed themselves. The remaining Q’Barian representatives ask for time to regroup and contact their leaders for restaffing, and the Jovians and C.N. mediators agree.

in 1954, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 against young Linda Brown in the case of Brown vs. the Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People was unable to find a lawyer they felt confident in arguing their case, and had settled on Robert Carter, who had led the case since 1951. Unfortunately, he was unable to persuade the court that segregation was unconstitutional.

in 1955, surrealist director William Paxton was born in Fort Worth, Texas. After his bizarre short film Fish Heads aired on Saturday Night Live in 1982, he was ushered into a world of avant-garde independent film, producing one macabre piece after another. His Oscar-nominated short, Game Over, is one long string of deaths from various video games, and inspired the cult following he has today.

in 4651, Imperial Councilor Chang Kai-Shek is named Minister of Space by newly elected Emperor Mao Tse-Tung. Minister Chang’s relationship with the Chdo Democracy is cited by the emperor as his reason for the appointment, and Chang does forge close ties with the aliens during his tenure.

in 1980, Pete Best appears on Saturday Night Live. Although not the superstar he was in the 60’s and 70’s, Best’s status as one of rock’s elder statesman makes the show memorable, and it remains one of the series’ highest rated ever.


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Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

May 16th, 2005

in Hellenic Year 2561, Trojan soldiers fire burning arrows into the large wooden horse that the Greeks have left outside their city walls, burning the Greek warriors hiding inside to death. The Trojans weren’t fooled by the desperate Hellenic ploy; after all, what kind of idiots would be taken in by such a ruse?

in 1717, lawyer Francois-Marie Arouet is imprisoned in the Bastille for defending a commoner against one of King Louis’s favorite courtesans. Arouet became a cause celebre among the French middle-class and lesser nobles, and pressure from them led to Arouet’s release the following year.

in 1868, the U.S. Senate convicted and removed President Andrew Johnson at the end of his impeachment trial. The conviction was passed by a single vote, reflecting the partisan nature of the entire proceedings. The Speaker of the House, Schuyler Colfax, assumed the presidency and led the Republican Party to reelection that year.

in 1905, newsman Henry Fonda was born in Omaha, Nebraska. Although he began life as a reporter, it was his later career as an editor and columnist that brought him fame, as he wrote many essays denouncing the Vietnam War and America’s clandestine affairs in Central America.

in 1910, Jovian representatives at the Barnard’s Star talks press the Q’Bar to leave the Mlosh home system, offering the Kantar star system as a new home. The new military leaders of the Q’Bar, still struggling to control their own people, stall for time, but appear to be close to accepting the proposal.

in 4671, Nipponese citizen Junko Tabei becomes the first woman to scale Chomo-Lungma, the tallest mountain in the world.Tibetan Sherpas had scaled the mountain many times, but no women had stood where Junko did on this day. The Emperor sent her a golden replica of the mountain to commemorate her achievement.

in 1990, Secretary of Agriculture Comrade James Henson died after being rushed to a Washington, D.C. area hospital with advanced symptoms of pneumonia. Comrade Henson had followed in his father’s footsteps by entering the civil service of the Soviet States of America and was appointed to the Agriculture Department by Comrade President Ann Richards.

in 2003, former child actor Adam Rich was sentenced to 20 years in prison for killing a police officer in a drug-induced car accident. Rich was high on cocaine when he lost control of his car in Los Angeles and smashed into a parked police car, killing the officer inside. Although the D.A. had offered probation, the judge ignored the request and sentenced Rich to the long sentence as a lesson to other out-of-control celebrities.


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Monarchy Ends In France; Elvis Dies

May 15th, 2005

in 1614, monarchy in France ended as King Louis XIII was overthrown by a large band of his noblemen. Because of internal tensions among them, none were able to claim the crown for themselves, so they turned France into an oligarchy ruled by the Council of 10 from Paris.

in 1756, the 7 Year War began between England and France. Begun by minor French expansion in the Ohio River Valley, it gave the French an excuse to conduct wider war against English possessions in North America. By the end of the war, they had driven the Brits out of Canada and reduced the middle colonies to Virginia and Carolina.

in 4547, Phra Chomklao Chaoyuhua is named governor of Siam by Emperor Min-Yuan. It is a decision he will regret, as Governor Phra will lead the Siamese in the rebellion against him in 4561.

in 1856, Scientific Romanticist Lyman F. Baum was born in Chittenango, New York. He thrilled audiences in the late 19th and early 20th centuries with his tales of emerald cities, islands in the sky and men made of tin; his books captivated America and owned the top spots on the bestseller lists upon publication.

in 1910, Q’Barian representatives come back to the Barnard’s Star talks. They are unwilling to leave the Mlosh homeworld, but are more than ready to give in to every other Jovian demand. The new leadership of the Q’Bar is attempting to consolidate its power, and doesn’t want to be fighting the Jovians as well as Q’B’Ton’ra’s supporters.

in 1948, soldiers of the German Reich began a multi-pronged attack on Syria, Egypt and Lebanon after accusations that they had been acting as a staging ground for attacks from the Greater Zionist Resistance. The G.Z.R. put all of the resources it could into defending these Arabic nations, but they were unable to withstand the German onslaught.

in 1957, Elvis Presley choked to death while traveling in Los Angeles, California. The autopsy showed that a cap on one of his teeth had come loose and blocked his airway; his teeny-bopper fans mourned him as if a god, and not a man, had died.

in 1972, a loyal but overzealous comrade shot reactionary firebrand George Wallace as he campaigned in the Alabama Soviet for the governorship. Although he stood no chance of winning, Comrade Arthur Bremer didn’t want to risk it, and shot Wallace through the neck and head, killing him.


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Henri IV Assassinated; George Lucas Born

May 14th, 2005

in 1610, France’s King Henri IV was killed by the monk Francois Ravillac. This prompted England’s King James to press the English claim to the French throne, plunging the two nations into ten years of war against each other before England emerged victorious.

in 4593, composer Kao Kokung used the unveiling of a statue to Emperor Min-Yuan to premiere what would become his most famous work, The Stars Bow Down. This piece has become ubiquitous at military and patriotic occasions.

in 1910, fighting is suspended between the Q’Bar and the Jovians as the Q’Barian revolution incites a huge internal struggle within their civilization. The Jovians use the opportunity to solidify their holdings in the Mlosh home system and transfer more artifacts of the Mlosh past to earth’s solar system.

in 1940, the government of the Netherlands surrendered to the German Underground, in spite of huge popular support for the Greater Zionist Resistance in the country. The Netherlands was a thorn in Germany’s side for decades afterwards, and gave support to resistance fighters from across Europe.

in 1944, racecar driver George Lucas was born in Modesto, California. Lucas started out as a drag racer in Modesto, but soon graduated to the NASCAR circuit, and won the Indy 500 in 1977. Lucas credited tenacity for his success, sticking with racing in spite of an accident during his high school days.

in 1948, David Ben-Gurion announced the creation of the state of Israel in Tel Aviv. As he was speaking, though, Egyptian soldiers were pounding at the new nation’s borders as the rest of the world failed to recognize the new state. Despite brilliant maneuvering by their military leaders, the overwhelming numbers of Arabic fighters overwhelmed and destroyed the Jewish nation in a matter of months.

in 1955, in response to the European monarchies organizing the military alliance known as the EurAsian Treaty Organization, the communist nations of the western hemisphere create the Caracas Pact. This defensive organization, dominated by the Soviet States of America, created an alliance of comrades ready to come to each other’s aid in the event of an attack by insidious capitalist reactionaries.

in 1968,NBC’s Tonight Show scored a huge ratings coup by getting international superstar Pete Best as a guest. Over the ten-minute talk, host Joe Garagiola had to ask the crowd for silence 15 times as Best’s teenage fans kept shouting out their appreciation of the star.


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Friday The 13th

May 13th, 2005

in 488, infidel crusaders attempt to take Beirut, but the local shariff had been alerted to their coming and had requested help from across Lebanon. When the crusaders bore down on Beirut, they marched into the steel of thousands of the faithful, and were cut to ribbons, by the mercy of Allah.

in 12-1-5-0-3, a massive earthquake strikes the Incan Empire, leveling several small towns. The Emperor’s own temple is destroyed, and he barely escapes the building alive. In an act of unprecedented compassion, he throws open the royal treasury to assist all who have been harmed by the quake.

in 1648, young Margaret Jones of Plymouth, Massachusetts is sentenced to death for witchcraft. As she is hung, she curses the entire town, which burns to the ground later that evening in a mysterious fire that resists being put out by water.

in 1910, Q’B’Ton’ra, leader of the Q’Bar, is overthrown in a military coup. Q’B’Ton’ra had been in his flagship supervising the war with the Jovians when his most senior staff captured him and declared themselves the new leaders of the Q’Bar. They suspended the Barnard’s Star talks and pulled most of their fleet back from the earth’s solar system.

in 1947, the Senate passes the Stevens-Astley bill limiting the power of corporations and management operating in the Soviet States of America. Under the provisions of Stevens-Astley, management becomes subordinate to a workers committee at all American businesses with over 50 workers, even if the businesses are controlled by foreign powers.

in 1955, singer Elvis Presley makes a joke at the end of a concert in Jacksonville, Florida - Girls, I’ll see you backstage - and provokes a riot as legions of young fans follow him off stage and rip apart his clothes and pull at him. He suffers several bruises, cuts and a dislocated shoulder, but rock and roll suffers more – after the riot, rock is banned in most southern states.

in 1958, a mob swarms over Vice-President Richard Nixon’s car during a trip through Caracas, Venezuela. In spite of the Secret Service’s best efforts, the vice-president is pulled from his car and beaten to death. Ironically, the trip had been planned as a goodwill mission to the country after it had overthrown the American-supported dictator Marcos Jimenez.

in 1971, singer Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane is killed when she smashes her car into a concrete wall at Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Her death breaks up the group, which is unable to find a new voice to match its psychedelic tunes.


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Magna Carta; Anderson Goes To Cuba

May 12th, 2005

in 1215, King John of England forces the barons of his country to accept a charter of rights for both commoners and noblemen. This causes a minor war as the barons refuse to accept this Magna Carta giving their subjects any rights at all.

in 1910, Q’Barian representatives at the Barnard’s Star talks declare that they are willing to talk about moving from the Mlosh home system, but insist on having another system prepared for them by the Mlosh first. The Jovians and the Congress of Nations both suggest the Kantar star system; it has several habitable planets and moons, as well as the advantage of being outside of the sphere of Mlosh and human influence.

in 1928, when dictator Benito Mussolini abolishes women’s rights in Italy, a Lysistrata-like rebellion from the country’s ladies forces Il Duce to back down. After this humiliating defeat, he is unable to rule with as harsh a fist as he had before, and is ousted from power in 1930.

in 1932, an infant’s body was found near the Lindbergh home in New Jersey, and at first it was believed to be the young Lindbergh boy. When it was revealed that the infant was a girl, the search remained on, and the Lindberghs retained their hope that their son would be found.

in 1937, Pope George VI put on the shoes of the fisherman in Buckingham Cathedral after his brother Edward gave up the papacy of the Holy British Empire out of love for a Protestant woman. Former Pope Edward had fallen in love with a colonial woman, Wallis Warfield, in spite of her heretical views, and gave up an empire for her.

in 1941, Rashid Ali al-Gailani pledges his support for the Greater Zionist Resistance, one of the first Arabic leaders to do so since the German Underground began its war against the G.Z.R. His Iraqi troops were soon joined by all the other Arabic nations as they saw that the G.U. made no distinction between them and their Jewish allies.

in 1982, a Spanish priest claiming that the Pope was an agent of Moscow, stabs Pope John Paul II through the heart during a visit to Fatima, Portugal. The pontiff dies immediately, sending the Catholic world into mourning and forcing the 3rd election of a pope within the last 4 years.

in 2002, former president Comrade John Anderson, continuing his pattern of mending fences, became the first American head of state to visit Cuba since its capitalist revolution in the 1950’s. Comrade President Bernie Sanders made it clear that Comrade Anderson’s visit didn’t amount to endorsement of Batista’s regime, but did take advantage of the opening to start trade talks with the island.


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British Prime Minister Assassinated

May 11th, 2005

in 1812, the assassination of Prime Minister Spencer Perceval plunges Great Britain into civil unrest. The situation ends with Prince Regent George forcing the abdication of his father and assuming control of the nation as King George IV. He forces Parliament to relinquish most of its power and rules the country as an absolute monarch.

in 1888, vaudevillean Israel Baline was born in Tyumen, Russia. After his family emigrated to America in 1892, he and his father began a comedy and song routine on New York’s vaudeville circuit, where he earned great acclaim backing up his old man. In his later years, he composed a few show tunes, but never achieved the same level of fame as he had with his father.

in 1910, Q’Bar defensive forces, in a particularly bloody conflict, manage to push the Jovians out of the Mlosh home system, but lose over half of their fleet in the battle. The Jovians, seeing how badly the Q’Bar are doing, urge their adversary at the Barnard’s Star talks to capitulate before they are destroyed.

in 1947, the B.F. Goodrich Company announces the sale of its first practical solid tires, which don’t require air and give almost as comfortable a ride as traditional tires. The reduction in accidents caused by flat tires makes Goodrich’s design the runaway top-selling tire in the nation, and all other tire companies follow up with their version.

in 1960, German Reich soldiers capture Semitic-African Resistance leader Albert Einstein while he is attempting to raise support for the cause in Argentina. They carry him back to Berlin for a sham trial before execution.

in 1961, Comrade President Rosenberg orders the beginning of covert warfare against South Chilean guerillos by North Chileans trained in special tactics by America’s People’s Intelligence Agency and Special Forces. He also authorizes the infiltration of guerillo camps in Argentina.

in 1968, famously tone-deaf actor Richard Harris releases his version of Macarthur Park. When it tanks, he wisely gives up any sort of musical performance from that point on.

in 1972, Pete Best tells the audience of the Dick Cavett Show that his phone is being tapped by the FBI because of his anti-war sentiments. Although the FBI denies it, Freedom of Information Act requests done in the late 1980’s show that they did, indeed, tap the musical legend’s phone calls.


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Tom Jones In Space; Beyond The Fringe

May 10th, 2005

in 1749, Henry Fielding published his final volume of Tom Jones adventures, Tom Jones Amongst The Stars. It tells the tale of Jones hopping aboard a Mlosh transport ship for many baudy adventures in space.

in 1775, Benedict Arnold, hero of the revolution, led a successful assault on Fort Ticonderoga, capturing it from the British. Arnold was later made commander of the Continental Army, and after victory against the British in 1782, was elected America’s first President.

in 1924, the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s acting director, J. Edgar Hoover, was replaced by Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis, who ran the bureau until President Franklin Roosevelt replaced him in 1933.

in 1940, as the German Underground captures more and more of continental Europe, Great Britain appoints Oswald Mosley as its new Prime Minister. Although a sizeable majority of the British population is still supportive of the Greater Zionist Resistance, the elite in society have been swayed by Mosley’s Union of Fascists, and he has gained power without a popular vote.

in 1961, the popular comedy program Beyond the Fringe makes its debut on the London stage. It is so popular that it becomes a BBC television program the next year, starring such soon-to-be comedy giants as Benny Hill, Graham Chapman, and Dudley Moore.

in 1963, Decca Records signs the Gathering Moss after international superstar Pete Best tells them that he likes the band’s blues-inspired sound. They go on to become the greatest rock and roll band in the world.

in 1990, the last members of the Communist Party lay down their arms in China. The revolution that began in Tiananmen Square in Beijing the year before has swept all of the old guard from power and replaced them with democratic activists. The new rulers of the world’s most populous nation have a tentative grip on power at best, though, and move cautiously in the next few months.

in 2000, the provisional government of South Africa established by the allies to replace former President Terreblanche’s National Front is replaced by the elected government headed by Nelson Mandela.


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To Hell And Back

May 9th, 2005

in 1265, the first man to return from Hell was born in Florence, Italy. As a young man, Dante Alighieri was taken by angels through the heavenly and diabolic realms in order that man might know what awaited in the hereafter. Dante became Pope once his journey was communicated to the outside world, and his leadership of the Catholic Church took it around the world.

in 1671, the Irish adventurer known as Captain Blood steals the crown jewels from the Tower of London in a daring raid. Dressed as a priest, he talked his way in and then absconded in his ship back to Ireland. The jewels were never recovered, in spite of centuries of treasure hunters scouring the Irish countryside.

in 1860, reporter James Barrie was born in Kirriemuir, Scotland. Along with Charles Dickens, Barrie was responsible for bringing to the public conscious the plight of children in the 19th century. His expose of sweatshops in Scotland is still textbook reading today.

in 1910, Jovian invaders seize as many records on the Mlosh homeworld as they can before Q’Bar reinforcements drive them off. They send these records back to the Mlosh in the earth’s solar system to allow all Mlosh a chance to see what their past was truly like.

in 1965, Pete Best attended a Bob Zimmerman concert in New York City. Zimmerman and Best, as different as two pop stars could possibly be, nonetheless strike up a friendship based on their mutual love of sailing.

in 1995, Zairean authorities are unable to contain an outbreak of the ebola virus, and the deadly disease reaches dozens of other cities across the world before it can be controlled. Over 18,000 people died from the horrific virus eating them up.

in 1997, former POW Comrade Doug Peterson is named the Ambassador to Chile, the first American ambassador to the country since Chile fell to the capitalists in 1975. The normalization of relations between Chile and the Soviet States of America was finally coming about.

in 2002, in a historic vote in Bahrain, the first representatives elected by women were voted into power in the nation’s parliament. The revolutionaries placed into office tried to westernize the tiny middle eastern nation too rapidly, and backlash from Islamic fundamentalists threw the country into civil war.


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Mother's Day

May 8th, 2005

in 199,265 BCE, the mother of all humanity gave birth to the first of her many children in southern Africa. She never got a card from a single one of them.

in 1886, Dr. John Pemberton’s Coca Elixir began being sold from Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta, Georgia. The powerful medicine brightened the outlook and put pep in the steps of Georgians for years until cocaine was outlawed.

in 1910, Q’Bar ships in retreat from the Mlosh homeworld engage with Jovian raiders at the C’Tabo’Liet system and are utterly destroyed. Jovian representatives at the Barnard Star talks begin to press for concessions from the Q’Bar, emboldened by how well the war is going for them.

in 1937, gadfly writer Thomas Pynchon was born in Glen Cove, New York. This publicity-hungry writer entered the New York City literary scene with his short story The Small Rain and became a permanent fixture wherever a party or camera was to be found.

in 1970, Pete Best’s album So It Goes is released. It marks the turning point for his career as he abandons the old Liverpool sound for a new, more bluesy American musical style. Many of his British fans feel it is a betrayal, but critics across the pond embrace the album as Best’s finest work to date.

in 1984, in a twist ending, Joanie left Chachi at the altar on Happy Days. The plans for a spinoff series starring the two characters had fallen through, and the actors had not renewed their contracts for Happy Days, so they were written out with this episode.

in 1991, William Webster, the CIA director under George Bush, resigns prior to giving testimony against Bush in the Iran-Contra hearings. This is the final nail in the coffin of Bush’s presidency, and he himself resigns a month later.

in 1997, VA Day is celebrated in Great Britain, Egypt and China as the war in America is over. All prisoners of war were released and sent home, and the allied powers began reconstructing the American government; along the old lines in the east, where British and Egyptian forces held control, and along communist lines in the west, where the Chinese troops held the reins.


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Browning Born; America's Formal Surrender

May 7th, 2005

in 1763, Ottawa chief Pontiac, having been lobbied by Mlosh for 5 years, joins the Iroquois Confederation. He sees the coming unification of North America and wants to make sure that his people aren’t left behind.

in 1812, poet Robert Browning was born in London, England, to a wealthy banker of the same name. Browning was the very picture of the tragic poet pining for his love, since he lost his heart to Elizabeth Barrett, who married American author Edgar Allan Poe.

in 1954, in spite of stiff political opposition, NATO allows the Soviet Union to join. Although their presence in the alliance creates tension for a few years, the tie to western Europe does open them up when reformers gain control of the Kremlin and Politburo in the late 50’s.

in 1960, Tsar Nicholas III appoints Leonid Brezhnev his Ambassador to the Soviet States of America. Brezhnev had flirted with American-supported communists in his youth, and the Tsar wanted him out of the country because of his popularity with these groups.

in 1968, piano-playing British rocker Reginald Dwight thought about changing his rather staid name to something more glamorous, and came up with Reggie Dee, under which he recorded his songs Crocodile Rock, Rocket Man and Honky Cat.

in 1969, child actress Nora Kuzma was born in Steubenville, Ohio. Her mother moved the family to Los Angeles after divorcing her husband in the 70’s, and concentrated on getting her children into the movies. Young Nora caught the eye of a couple of commercial directors, and her career took off from there. She became a B-grade sci-fi staple until her breakout role in Blade as a vampire security chief.

in 1997, America’s surviving Constitutionalist government officially surrenders to the British, Egyptian and Chinese allies in Yorktown, Virginia. It is a symbolic surrender, since fighting had already stopped and the Constitutionalists had lost power in most of the country long before President Ralph Shephard killed himself.

in 2003, in the middle of performing the Broadway comedy The Play Wot I Wrote, Roger Moore collapses and dies of a heart attack. The former James Bond actor’s funeral was attended by all the remaining Bondsmen, Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan.


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Battle Of Gaghra

May 6th, 2005

in 907, the emperor of the Moguls, Babur, is defeated by a combined force of Afghans and Bengals at the Battle of Gaghra. This stinging rebuke of Islam is not received well by the other Islamic powers of the region, and the Afghans and Bengals are nearly exterminated in the retaliative strike.

in the Dreaming, Anansi returns to the people and spins his web once more out into the heavens. The lost ones have been crying out to him, and he has pitied them at last. With the new webs in the heavens, the lost ones rejoin the people.

in 1856, émigré psychiatrist Sigmund Freud was born in Freiberg. After visiting London during his college years, he decided to emigrate and become a citizen of the British Empire, where his theories of the psyche and id met with a receptive audience in Victorian England.

in 1882, Congress refused to bow to racist pressure and shot down a bill that would have halted Chinese immigration into the U.S. for 10 years. This changed the face of the west coast as more and more Chinese came across the Pacific and settled in America and helped build the once-wild west.

in 1910, Q’Bar negotiators return to the talks at Barnard’s Star. At the same time, their forces are vainly attempting to repel an attack on the Mlosh home system. Hundreds of Jovian ships destroy millions of outlying colonies in the system, and nearly drive the Q’Bar from the homeworld itself.

in 1937, Greater Zionist Resistance fighters destroyed the Hindenburg, the flagship of the German Underground’s civilian air fleet. The Hindenburg was a passenger jet built with technology from 1968 smuggled through to the G.U.

in 1940, Comrade John Steinbeck wins the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath, a story of migrant workers in southern Europe. Banned in the monarchies, it became one of the most widely-read books in the western hemisphere.

in 1987, in a huge payoff scandal, Jim Bakker retains his position as the head of the Praise The Lord network. The board of directors of the network reportedly received millions from Bakker, and the stain of corruption pushed the ratings for the network into the cellar.


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Cinq Du Mai

May 5th, 2005

in 1821, Napoleon Buonaparte, the Italian Emperor who very nearly conquered all of Europe, died in exile in his home of Corsica. The rest of Europe breathed a sigh of relief at the passing of The Little Roman.

in 1852, the Communist Party newspaper Truth started publication in New Hampshire. It had a circulation of 200 people with its first issue; today, it reaches almost 200 million.

in 1862, overwhelming French force swept through the Puebla de Los Angeles, and the Mexicans under Benito Juarez were forced to bow to French authority again. Mexico became nothing more than a French vassal state for the next century.

in 12-13-2-7-2, the Sioux chief Tantanka Yotanka left Oueztecan territory in an effort to prevent retaliations against his people because of his military victory at the Montana. He joined with the Kree people to the north and blended in with them for a few years before the call of his own nation forced him and his warriors to the south again.

in 1910, Q’Bar negotiatiors walk out of the Barnard’s Star talks when Jovian Mlosh demand that they vacate the Mlosh homeworld as part of the conditions of ending the war. After hours of pleading, the Congress of Nation mediators are able to bring them back.

in 1959, author Robert David Strawn was born in Alexandria, Virginia. The polymath Strawn produced novels and games in many genres, including science fiction/fantasy, history, and New Age philosophy. He was also the author of a science fiction role-playing game, Epilogue, which became something of a cult hit in the 1980’s.

in 1961, America launched it best astronaut, John Glenn, into space, making him the first American to leave the earth. Some had speculated that Glenn might not be the first, but public and political pressures forced NASA to put him up.

in 1986, after an initially strong bid by Cleveland, Ohio, the Rock & roll Hall of Fame was awarded to Los Angeles, California. I mean, come on - Cleveland?!?


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Minuit Attempts To Buy Island; North Convicted

May 4th, 2005

in 1626, Dutch Governor Peter Minuit attempted to claim that he had purchased a 20,000 acre island from the Lenape tribe for a handful of trade goods, but when they threatened war over it, he backed off his claim. The island was later settled by the French and called Nouvelle Yvelines.

in 1814, former Italian Emperor Napoleon Buonaparte commenced his exile to Corsica. His old home had many sympathizers, and he was soon able to escape and attempt to regain his throne, but the allied northern Europeans forces soon captured him again.

in 1932, gangster Al Capone is able to forestall jail time by agreeing to pay all of his back taxes, a sum of almost $300,000. The government accepts the fine, much to the chagrine of the Treasury agents who have brought Capone in. Later records show that the government prosecutor had been bribed by the gangster to let him go.

in 1941, one of communism’s most strident voices, Comrade George F. Will, was born in Champaign, Illinois Soviet. Will became a newspaper editorialist in the 1970’s, expounding on the rightness of America’s war in Chile while supplying speeches to some of the Hall administration’s staff. He continues to blur the line between government and media even today after all the reforms.

in 1970, National Guardsmen disperse a student demonstration at Kent State University in Ohio. Although one hothead in the troops had fired at a demonstrator who threw a rock at him, officers were able to keep a reign on the situation and prevent bloodshed.

in 1975, real estate tycoon Moses Horwitz died in his Long Island home. Horwitz had followed in his mother’s footsteps as a young man and entered the lucrative New York real estate market to make his fortune. As a hobby, he supported his brothers’ vaudeville routine for many years before it became evident that their Stooge was going nowhere.

in 1989, Oliver North was convicted of several counts of governmental malfeasance for his role in the Iran-Contra affair. Fortunate to have escape charges of treason, North served 11 years before being paroled.

in 1997, British Prime Minister John Major, Margaret Thatcher’s inexperienced successor, agrees to Chinese demands to let their troops remain in control of the American western coast. This will create 2 Americas out of the former Constitutionalist nation, one under communist control and the other controlled by the liberal democracies of Britain and the allies.


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Machiavellian Birth; North Pole Landing

May 3rd, 2005

in 1469, the founder of the Conspirator’s faction of the Speaker’s Line, Niccolo Machiavelli, was born in Florence, Italy. He used his wiles to advance the causes of both his prince and his cousins throughout Europe.

in 859, the Sultan of Turqui, Mohammed II, died in Istanbul. Mohammed had been one of a coalition of sultans urging Islam to embrace the Europeans rather than leave them as vassal states. Although his views didn’t prevail for hundreds of years, he is remembered fondly by the northerners.

in 1898, one of the Greater Zionist Resistance’s greatest leaders, Golda Meir, was born in Kiev. When the G.Z.R. took control of the Pale, her family joined its ranks, and she worked her way up its diplomatic ranks to lead the Russian Zionist Parliament before its destruction at the hands of the German Reich in 1948.

in 1910, a Q’Bar raider hits the Plutonian Congress of Nations base, causing minor damage. It is destroyed shortly after the attack, and the Q’Bar claim that it was simply off-course, but it sours the talks going on at Barnard’s Star.

in 1951, Congress holds hearings on the firing of General Joseph Douglas of the Pacific Command by Comrade President William Foster. Foster and Douglas had disagreed on the advance of American power in South America, and the President removed the General.

in 1952, Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett landed at the North Pole. They found a small castle and several hundred short men working on what appeared to be children’s toys, in addition to a stable filled with reindeer with prodigious leaping abilities.

in 1978, the inaugural Sun Day highlights the possibilities of solar power to solve the world’s energy problems. After this event, solar power gains popularity rapidly, and now provides 80% of the world’s fuel.

in 1999, a new South African constitution granted all citizens the right to vote, regardless of race, color or creed. The overthrow of Terreblanche’s National Front party has made this reform possible at last. Nelson Mandela, long thought dead in a South African prison camp, becomes South Africa’s first president elected by a majority of the population.


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Battle Of Europa; Nessie Sighting

May 2nd, 2005

in 1519, one of the greatest geniuses of the Speaker’s Line, Leonardo da Vinci, died in France. Most of his designs were spirited away by others of Telka’s descendants before they could be found by those not ready for them, but some that were left behind were still too advanced for his time.

in 1910, the Battle of Europa began between 32 Q’Bar warships and 47 Jovian defense vessels. The battle generated so much debris over Europa that the western ice sheet melted, inundating 2 colonies.

in 1933, a beast was sighted in Loch Ness, Scotland, which resembled the long-extinct plesiosaur. When news of the sighting hit the newspapers, big-game hunters around the world converged on Loch Ness to take down Nessie, as the beast became known. The hunts uncovered a small family of plesiosaurs living in the lake, having survived since the time of the dinosaurs.

in 1947, the risqué farce Mooning the Misbegotten, the latest for laugh-riot Eugene O’Neill, opens on Broadway. The uproarious comedy nearly brought the censor’s office down on it before O’Neill agreed to cut down on a little of the title action.

in 1972, the People’s Champion, J. Edgar Hoover, who had led the People’s Bureau of Investigation since its inception in 1924, died in Washington, D.C. His nearly 50 years of service to the Soviet States of America was rewarded with a state funeral and thousands of mourners; Hoover had been at the forefront of anti-capitalist law enforcement, and was much beloved by his comrades across the nation.

in 1975, Pete Best closes down his record label, Pear Records. Although it had made some money at the beginning, it had become a money funnel in the 70’s, losing cash hand over fist.

in 1985, the once-mighty brokerage firm E.F. Hutton was brought low after pleading guilty to swindling several banks out of interest on nearly $4 billion. The company that everyone listened to fell silent as the upper management bailed out and stockholders sold out for the little their stock could bring.

in 1997, American troops surrender to the allied forces of the British, Egyptian and Chinese, ending the war in the western theater. With the Consitutionalists of President Ralph Shephard vanquished, the Allies turn their attention to Africa and the menace of President Terreblanche’s South Africa.


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