Sunday, May 01, 2005

May Day

May 1st, 2005

in 1776, exalted First Leader Adam Weishaupt formed the Order of the Illuminati in Switzerland. Although thought to be disbanded, this powerful body [REST OF POST NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE. FNORD.]

in 1830, Comrade Mary Harris Jones was born in Ireland. After emigrating to America as a girl, she became enthralled with President Walt Whitman and joined the Communist Party. Her formidable speaking talents made her one of the party’s top lights, and in 1900, she became Illinois’ first woman governor, serving until her death in 1906.

in 1872, after several redesigns and prototypes, Thomas Edison begins construction on what will be his final version of Charles Babbage’s difference engine, to be unveiled on the 50th anniversary of Babbage’s design at the end of the month. The Edison Difference Engine, or Eddie as they become known, will change the world.

in 12-14-3-12-8, the Oueztecan Navy engaged the mightiest sailors on the globe, the Polynesians, at Bohol, in one of the largest naval battles in the history of the Polynesian Ocean. Although the Oueztecans emerged victorious, it was at such a high cost that they never fought the Polynesians again.

in 1910, Congress of Nation negotiators attempt to strike a peace between the breakaway Jovians and the Q’Bar by meeting with them at the neutral location of Barnard’s Star. Although the talks eventually prove fruitful, many millions die while they are going on.

in 1960, an American spy plane was shot down over the German Reich, proving that President Strom Thurmond’s denial of American surveillance of Germany was a lie. The international embarrassment further isolated the U.S. from Germany’s growing dominance in world affairs.

in 1967, Jesse Presley married the daughter of an officer at his old Army base in Germany, 22-year old Priscilla Beaulieu. Their marriage produces the King’s only child, Elsie Margaret.

in 2005, the last vestiges of the plague are wiped out by advanced medical treatments at the Alternate History Academy. Historians predict a swift return to normality and a steady flow of access to important events in history that never occurred today.

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Writer said...

hooray. I look forward to the post about were this plauge came from.

Writer said...

What's an Illumanati anyways?

Robbie Taylor said...

Check out this link here -

Anonymous said...

Now, now. We all know that there's no such thing as the Illumanati, they died out long before the Ci- The American Revloution. Nothing to see there, just the ravings of a mad man. Please dispsurse.

Writer said...

What is this Fnord?

Nerrin said...

Actually, it's from the Illuminatus! trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea. "Fnord" is a stand-in for a word the Illuminati have had sprinkled liberally throughout the news, but which all people are trained from a very young age to become anxious about seeing, and then to block it out (and then made to forget the training). So, people read or watch the news and are made extremely anxious, but advertising has no fnords, so they feel more comfortable reading that. And this leads to a consumer culture that the Illuminati can more easily control, because they control the economy. Or so it goes.

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.