Friday, May 13, 2005

Friday The 13th

May 13th, 2005

in 488, infidel crusaders attempt to take Beirut, but the local shariff had been alerted to their coming and had requested help from across Lebanon. When the crusaders bore down on Beirut, they marched into the steel of thousands of the faithful, and were cut to ribbons, by the mercy of Allah.

in 12-1-5-0-3, a massive earthquake strikes the Incan Empire, leveling several small towns. The Emperor’s own temple is destroyed, and he barely escapes the building alive. In an act of unprecedented compassion, he throws open the royal treasury to assist all who have been harmed by the quake.

in 1648, young Margaret Jones of Plymouth, Massachusetts is sentenced to death for witchcraft. As she is hung, she curses the entire town, which burns to the ground later that evening in a mysterious fire that resists being put out by water.

in 1910, Q’B’Ton’ra, leader of the Q’Bar, is overthrown in a military coup. Q’B’Ton’ra had been in his flagship supervising the war with the Jovians when his most senior staff captured him and declared themselves the new leaders of the Q’Bar. They suspended the Barnard’s Star talks and pulled most of their fleet back from the earth’s solar system.

in 1947, the Senate passes the Stevens-Astley bill limiting the power of corporations and management operating in the Soviet States of America. Under the provisions of Stevens-Astley, management becomes subordinate to a workers committee at all American businesses with over 50 workers, even if the businesses are controlled by foreign powers.

in 1955, singer Elvis Presley makes a joke at the end of a concert in Jacksonville, Florida - Girls, I’ll see you backstage - and provokes a riot as legions of young fans follow him off stage and rip apart his clothes and pull at him. He suffers several bruises, cuts and a dislocated shoulder, but rock and roll suffers more – after the riot, rock is banned in most southern states.

in 1958, a mob swarms over Vice-President Richard Nixon’s car during a trip through Caracas, Venezuela. In spite of the Secret Service’s best efforts, the vice-president is pulled from his car and beaten to death. Ironically, the trip had been planned as a goodwill mission to the country after it had overthrown the American-supported dictator Marcos Jimenez.

in 1971, singer Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane is killed when she smashes her car into a concrete wall at Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Her death breaks up the group, which is unable to find a new voice to match its psychedelic tunes.

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