Monday, August 22, 2005

Carla Lambert's Diva; Standoff Ends In Idaho

August 22nd, 2005

in 1485, the destruction of King Richard III at Bosworth Field leaves Henry Tudor with the largest army in England. When he reaches London to take the crown for himself, he finds that his distant cousins, Edward and Richard, are in fact still alive in the Tower of London. Since their “deaths” had been a rationale behind his own invasion, he would have had them killed, but his soldiers spread the news too quickly; he was forced to crown Edward instead of himself, and pledged his allegiance to the young king.

in 1750, Captain Lionel Greystoke, using a new Mlosh naval vessel, landed on the continent of Australia, and established a brutal British colony there. The natives were often hunted for sport by the British. When the Mlosh liberated the continent a quarter-century later, the Aboriginal population was universally allied with them.

in the Dreaming, Wandjina descends to the land and speaks with the wise among the people. They have much to rebuild, trust being chief among these things. Wandjina begins by telling them that he will trust them again if they simply build no more webs into the Heavens.

in 1931, Carla Lambert delivers her Oscar-winning performance in Diva, the tragic story of an opera singer stricken with throat cancer. Lambert does her own singing for the movie, and is offered many musical roles afterwards, but found the singing so tiring that she declines any musical roles after this.

in 1942, American poet Langston Hughes publishes his epic poem, Whitman In Repose, an unflinching portrayal of the first Communist president, Walt Whitman. Although the work is flattering in the extreme to Whitman, many Communists object to Hughes’ references to Whitman’s alleged homosexuality, and in the first few editions of the poem, these parts are excised by government censors.

in 1959, Huan Yue and Li Huang-Sen, while chasing down a chicken that has escaped from Huan Yue’s father’s farm, run into a small group of soldiers. Although he has promised to hide rather than fight, Li cannot help himself when they try to separate the two of them. He uses his power to blur the minds of the soldiers, though, rather than kill them, and he escapes with Huan Yue. Rather than go back to her father’s farm, they run in a different direction, hoping to lead any soldiers that follow them away from the Po family farm.

in 1968, Cynthia Lennon is sued for divorce by former Pete Best bandmate, John Lennon. Mrs. Lennon, apparently unsatisfied by her husband’s lack of musical success, had begun seeing other musicians, and Lennon had had enough. The bitter court battle was eagerly watched by Bestmaniacs, because several salacious details about Pete Best’s time in Germany came spilling out during the hearings.

in 1989, the Texas-based improvisational comedy troupe Deranged Durang appeared on The Tonight Show. Their routine was bleeped out so many times that only half their act was heard; but it generated so much interest that HBO gave them an uncensored special, which became its top-rated show of the year. This sparked a wave of improvisational comedy across the U.S.

in 1992, during an FBI standoff with a white separatist family in Idaho, an FBI sharpshooter gets a clear shot at the separatist leader, Randy Weaver, and takes him down. Weaver’s family comes out of their cabin, firing wildly around them, and are cut down in a blaze of return fire. The only survivors were Weaver’s wife, Vicki, and their daughters, who had stayed behind in the cabin when they men rushed out.

in 1996, Dr. Melvin Courtney and Professor Malcolm Thomas confirm that the object being kept at Edwards Air Force base in California is virtually the same as the object they found in the Chimanimani National Park in Zimbabwe. There is some writing that is very similar to a few ancient African languages, and they work on translating those. Their host, Colonel Jim Carver, tells them, “If you can figure this one out, we may be able to go after the other one.”

in 2004, the probe at the edge of the solar system sends another signal back; it has been watching for the power signal of the Elders. Having been through a false positive once, the scientists monitoring the signal examine it carefully. It seems to be false as well, which leads them to wonder why they are getting another false signal. They begin a diagnostic of their entire process.

Still wishing...

As your humble alternate historian enters the downhill slope of the 40's, he still has his birthday wish - a contract with a publishing company like Workman Publishing to produce a page-a-day calendar of TIAH. If you are an editor for such a company, or can place us in touch with one, please fulfill this belated birthday wish!

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Jennifer said...

Hi. I was just curious about who you are. I was in Deranged Durang and we actually disbanded in 1987, but since this is an alternate history, I suppose that is neither here nor there. Anyway, thanks for mentioning our appearance on the Tonight Show. Johnny was cool, but he got annoyed when Shot peed on him and jumped on the couch.

Jennifer said...

Oh. Hey Robbie. I guess I should have investigated a little further before I posted my now ridiculous comment. I suppose you know about Deranged Durang from having been in it as well. Hope all is going great with you.

TIAH Editor says we'd like to move you off the blog, if you're browsing the archives - and most people are - more than half of them are already on the new site. We need to be sure the new web site accomodates your archive browsing needs because we don't want to lose any readers. Please supply any feedback or comments by email to the Editor and please note the blogger site is shutting on December 1st.