Monday, August 01, 2005

Flies From The Heavens; Colonel Presley's Final Tour

August 1st, 2005

in 1498, Cristobal Colon set foot on a piece of land he christened Isla Santa, claiming it for Spain. He didn’t say much after, as natives attacked his landing party. He was killed by an arrow which pierced his throat. The Spaniards who had sailed with him were unable to make it back to Europe; they crash-landed on an island in the Atlantic they called Isla Cristobal after their captain, and the few survivors were subsumed into the native population there.

in the Dreaming, the great flies from the other side of the Night’s Backbone descended onto the people and began tearing apart the web that connected them to the sky. The people cried out to Anansi, but had to fight the flies themselves. Their battle was long and hard, and great numbers fell on both sides.

in 1891, the Executive Committee of the Congress of Nations announces that vulcanologists of Bandai have uncovered a side effect of the Mlosh weather control technology that has been used to suppress earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. The crust of the earth has become weakened, and unless measures are taken, within 10 years, there will be too many earthquakes and volcanic eruptions to stop.

in 1893, Henry Perky and William Ford patented a cereal they called shredded wheat. This unappetizing goop was briefly embraced as a cure-all, but most people rarely made it past one bowl of the stuff. Some food historians occasionally make it for the curious, but it remains a curiosity of the 19th century.

in 1914, German and Russian negotiators manage to stem the tide of war in Europe 4 days after the Austrian-Hungarian Empire had declared war on tiny Serbia. Although the larger nations of the east and west had been on the verge of plunging into battle because of this, cooler heads made everyone realize that it was a local conflict that need not plunge the continent into war. Serbia held out for a mere 30 days against the Empire, anyway. Although its refugees across the world felt that they were abandoned by the world, most of Europe felt that the tiny nation hadn’t been worth a larger battle.

in 1943, PT-109 is sunk in a naval engagement in the South Pacific. Lost in the fight was Ambassador Joseph Kennedy’s son, John; the first of 2 Kennedy boys lost in World War II. Ambassador Kennedy uses the story of his personal sacrifices during the war to demonstrate his patriotism during his run for the presidency in 1956.

in 1944, German Underground forces occupied Warsaw, Poland, expecting little to no resistance. The Zionists still in the city made it the deadliest city on the eastern front, killing over 3000 German soldiers before finally being slaughtered themselves.

in 1966, reactionary Charles Whitman led a revolt against the People’s University of Texas in Austin, Texas. Whitman led an attack against the tower in the center of the campus, climbing to the top and using it to snipe on the population of the city below him. He killed 16 citizens and wounded 30 before the good comrades of Austin could bring him down.

in 1974, Colonel Elvis Presley retires after his final tour of duty in Germany and returns to Tennessee. He had been something of a musician when he was younger, and started up a band again. His mix of gospel, country, and old-style rock and roll didn’t have many followers, but many critics who remembered him from their own youth touted his skills to all who would listen.

in 2000, the strange bald men break into Mikhail von Heflin and Velma Porter’s hotel room in an attempt to retrieve the book the newlyweds have stolen from them. While the Baron holds them off, Ms. Porter sets the book on fire. The bald men shriek at the book’s imminent destruction and are able to force their way past von Heflin and grab the blazing tome. They retreat quickly, with the lovers in hot pursuit. Once they are at their warehouse in Las Vegas, some kind of force barrier shoots up over the building, preventing Porter and von Heflin from entering. They hear chanting beginning.

in 2004, President Gore provides emergency funding for the space-based defense program as the signal from Lalande 25372 conveys the message that most of the planet’s leadership has been removed by the Elders on their planet. The Lalandians at the signal pledge to maintain it as long as they are able, giving the earth as much information about the Elders as they can.


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