Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Prepared For The Ides Of March

ALTERNATE HISTORIAN'S NOTE: Please send us entries for our next contest, which will be an Alternate April Fool's Day, April 1st, 2006. Just send us the entries for now - we'll decide on a deadline later. (Contest rules) And, another cool thing - Let us know where you are on Frappr!

March 15th, 2006

in 1123, Gabriel, repenting of his many sins, rushes before Lucifer to tell him that the para-angel Kiria, calling herself Lucifer's priestess, plans to sacrifice a life to him that very evening. Lucifer, his heart filled with pain, cries out to the Creator, “My Lord, my Lord, is this why You have forsaken me?” With speed born of desperation, Lucifer hurls himself down to Eden.

in 709 AUC, Rome’s dictator, Gaius Julius Caesar, heeding the advice of an old seer, sent soldiers into the Senate in his place and arrested several senators who were planning to assassinate him. After putting the conspirators to death, Caesar abolished the Senate and imposed martial law on Rome while he rooted out all his enemies.

in 963, agents of the Holy British Empire assassinate Romanus II of Byzantium, paving the way for Pope Edmund the Magnificent to assume lordship of the eastern remains of the old Roman Empire. Although short-lived, the British rule of Byzantium produced some of the greatest medieval works of art, such as Athelian’s Byzantine Skies.

in 1493, Christopher Columbus and his three ships are lost in a huge storm in the Atlantic on their return from what he believes to be India. Rumors fly around Spain as to his fate, and no further expeditions are sent to the west.

in 1655, a brief truce was called in the Secret War between the Conquerors and Conspirators of the Speaker’s Line when the oldest living Child of Telka died in China. Jin Hu Tao, reportedly 122 years old, had opposed the War and urged the factions to work together rather than fight. Out of respect for Jin, the Secret War did not recommence for 2 years.

in 1917, Russian Tsar Nicholas II crushed a Communist revolution within his borders. Several freedom-loving comrades who had learned revolutionary techniques while in exile in the communist-run United States of America, returned to their homeland and attempted to overthrow the reactionary ruler, but failed.

in 1990, American troops occupied the Canadian province of British Columbia. President Ralph Shephard had intimidated the Canadians into giving up their territory by hinting that force would be used against them if they didn’t. American sympathizers in B.C. had been agitating for years to join with the U.S. and sabotaged Canadian efforts to keep the province.

in 2004, a firefight breaks out on the Athena as the teams led by the Sheridans report Titanian methane crabs all over the ship. Jacob and Livinia Sheridan order all their men to withdraw back to their spaceship, and they take off hurriedly. The Australian doctors plan to vaporize the ship with as much firepower as they can muster, but before giving the order, Livinia notices something odd – the crabs are not registering on their sensors.

in 2005, while Claw talk-show phenom Dr. R.D. Reilly is visiting Austin to promote his philosophy of noble servitude, he is kidnapped by Jeanne and Dave Lange, and brought to a Save Earth safe house in the hill country of Texas. Here, they intend to break him down and see if he is merely a tool of the Claws, or one the aliens himself.

in 2021, virtually all Scientologists leave for one of the 9 planets offered for colonization by the invading Army of Intelligent Life that has taken control of earth. Although they are a minority of the humans on the planet at first, they quickly take it over and begin their preparations for making the planet they have dubbed Hubbard the first Clear Planet.

Timelines in today's post: the Fall, the Speaker, the Holy British Empire, Communist America, the Ralph Shephard timeline, The Claw, and The Sheridans

Congratulations to Jarlsberg's Chosen, who won his 5th challenge, and a place in TIAH, by answering a quick 4 in a row last night! Be sure to email us with your preferences for your appearance in TIAH, JC! Today's "Six Degrees of Star Trek" challenge: Connect 1953's Julius Caesar to Star Trek. Place your answers in the comments and see the Forum for previous results. For more on 6 degrees games, click here.

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Anonymous said...

Richard Hale was in Julius Caesar and also appeared in an episode of ST(TOS): The Paradise Syndrome


Anonymous said...

Ralph Sheridan? I thought our great Leader was Ralph Shepherd. Who is this mysterious Sheridan?

Jarlsberg's Chosen said...

Sent email re: my entry, from

Robbie Taylor said...

Good work, Random - I think you may be due for another appearance, too - I'll check.

Ralph Sheridan - obviously, a bleedover from the Titanian crabs dimensions... which has been corrected. ;)

Thanks, JC!

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