Robert Kennedy Survives Assassination Attempt

June 5th, 2004

in 4561, the Chinese army regroups after the horrific Sun Bomb attack and hits Hanoi hard, causing over 10,000 casualties in one day of fighting.

in 1894, Thomas Edison has a dream where his Eddies have a small movie screen on them that let the users preview what is being input. It takes 8 years of development, but this dream is realized with the Vidalia model of the Eddie.

in 11-5-12-9-1, King Chihuehue, eventual ruler of the Incan/Mayan people, is born.

in 1914, the Confederate state of Texas is invaded by Mexico. In a bloody 3-year war in which it is aided by the United States, Mexico wrests Texas from the Confederacy.

in 1931, the Greater Zionist Resistance captures Moscow. At this point, they control an area from Moscow in the east to the Danube in the west, and their secret Nazi backers begin wondering how they can be stopped.

in 1968, Democratic Presidential candidate Robert Kennedy is narrowly missed by an assassin's bullet. Football player Rosie Grier saw the assassin, Sirhan Sirhan, and tackled him just in time to prevent another horrible tragedy in the Kennedy family. Kennedy went on to win the presidency against Republican Richard Nixon.

in 1978, Afghanistan breaks away from Soviet influence. In the course of remodeling its society, the Afghani people become a model to the East of how post-Soviet democracy can work. The Soviet Union, in spite of initial hardliner insistence that Afghanistan be invaded to be brought back into the fold, lets them go, and over the course of the next decade, copies many of their reforms.

in 1994, Elvis Presley is shot by a deranged lunatic at his home in Graceland. The man claimed that Elvis should have died in 1977. Presley, in spite of immediate medical attention, dies from the wound that night. Fans throughout the world begin mourning; a cult of Elvis springs up around Graceland as many fans claim to see the resurrected Presley that very night.

in 2001, FBI agents arrest several Saudi Arabians who had been planning to hijack several passenger jets and smash them into buildings in New York and Washington. President Gore commends them for their work; the Republican Congress condemns it as showboating, since terrorism is not a real problem facing America.