Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Robert Ingersoll Born; "We Begin Bombing In 5 Minutes"

August 11th, 2004

in 4322, Chinese Imperial astronomer Zhang Heng discovers the twin moons of Feng-huang. He names them Gao-Ji and Men-wei.

in 1833, Christian evangelist Robert Ingersoll was born in New York. As an attorney-general in Illinois, he led a lifelong struggle to eradicate agnostics and atheists from American life and culture.

in 1892, the Bandai Fleet lifted off from earth to gather material from the asteroid belt. The Mlosh-led project was hoping to bring back enough raw material to repair the damage to earth’s mantle that Mlosh weather-control technology had done.

in 1951, the first major league Town Ball game was broadcast in color in television. The New York Metros defeated the Boston Commons 8-1.

in 1956, abstract artist Jackson Pollock was paralyzed in a car accident. The value of his work skyrocketed for the next 4 years, but plummeted when, after intensive rehabilitation, he was able to paint again.

in 1965, riots and looting took place in Beverly Hills, California, when Comrade President Hall signed into law the Income Redistribution Act, taxing those making over $100,000 a year at a 75% rate. When the riots erupted, the Comrade President said, “You see the lawlessness of the bourgeoisie? This is why they need to be controlled by the state.”

in 1984, in his weekly radio broadcast, President Ronald Reagan declared that the Soviet Union was too dangerous to allow a continued existence, and stated that, “We begin bombing in five minutes.” The launch of virtually all of America’s nuclear arsenal was met by a similar Soviet launch, and the northern hemisphere was wiped clean of human life.

in 2003, a handful of earth ships break through the Martian line guarding the asteroid belt and gather thousands of tons of ice to bring back with them. Jacob Sheridan then has an idea; he directs his ships to start using the asteroids to bombard Mars itself. Faced with having the fight taken to them, the Martians withdraw and let the humans have the ice in the asteroid belt.

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