Saturday, July 23, 2005

Holy Land Under Islam

July 23rd, 2005

in 14, the armies of the faithful take control of the Holy Land from the pagan Byzantines. The only sorrow marring the joy of the faithful was that Muhammed had ascended to Heaven and had not stayed to see his people retake their ancient home.

in 1715, the first lighthouse in America was constructed in Massachusetts. These structures soon became obsolete with the introduction of Mlosh sensing equipment into human sailing vessels in 7 years.

in 1808, after a century of silence from the stars, the inhabitants of Lalande 25372 have begun terraforming 4 other worlds in their system. It is a process that should make these planets livable by the end of the 22nd century. In the meantime, they have started small colonies on these worlds to manage the terraforming projects. The one on Lalande 6 detects a signal coming from the Wizened Ruler star system; it is easily translated and breaks down to a simple warning to avoid entanglements with the Elders’ galactic civilization.

in 1904, in yet another attempt to revive the desert ice cream, Charles E. Menches inserted it into a baked, thin waffle cone at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, Missouri. But, while the cone proved highly popular, the filling didn’t – people kept asking Menches for empty cones.

in 1938, the Knowledge Railroad added several more stations. The entire state college system of California was hooked together by the Railroad, and every dormitory at every college was equipped with at least one Dede; test scores at California colleges increased by 20% the next year, leading other states to adopt the approach.

in 1986, King Charles’ brother Andrew held his wedding to Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey, in London; the first royal wedding held in England since the Nazi takeover in the 40’s.

in 1996, the Chimanimani National Park expedition begins the long trek to Harare. The truck carrying the object they have unearthed is moving along slowly with them. During the trip, they experience several problems with their electronic equipment, and the truck stalls out twice. The second time, they pull it off the road and make camp for the night.

in 1998, scientists at Miskatonic University announce the cloning of 50 frogs. Panic breaks out at the press conference when several of the “frogs” break free and begin eating the reporters.

in 2000, Mikhail von Heflin and Velma Porter release their captive, businessman Steve Huff, back to his extra-dimensional studies institute with the warning that the next time they are disturbed, he won’t be released. Huff, incensed at this treatment, tells his scientists to begin working on something special; but tells them to take their time.

in 2002, Pope Righteous I, in front of a million followers at Buckingham Cathedral, and billions on television, announces that he is “the returned Christ, and that all who follow Me will have entrance into the Kingdom of God; all who disobey will burn in the Lake of Fire.” Across the Holy British Empire, every man, woman and child is to wear the mark of righteousness on the forehead or right hand. Any who refuse the mark are to be ostracized from Christian society.


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1 comment:

B. said...

In 1904, ice cream was a dessert, not a desert.

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