A Hundred Men To Heaven...

July 11th, 2005

in 1656, Ann Austin and Mary Fisher, the first 2 members of the violent Quaker sect to arrive in America, go on a violent killing spree before being captured by colonial authorities. Their method was to convert someone to their religion, absolving them of their sins, then kill them while they were still “blameless”, so that they would go straight to Heaven. Fisher, at her trial, stated, “I will take the sin on me, for I have seen a hundred men to Heaven.” It is unknown if this was true or a boast, but the pair were executed for at least 10 murders.

in 1754, famed scatologist Thomas Bowdler was born. A medical doctor by profession, his avocation was making bawdy versions of classical works, especially Shakespeare. His “Fable of the cad, Romeo, and his strumpet, Juliet”, is generally considered the most filthy work to come out of the 18th century.

in 1786, the Mlosh of North America are criticized as appeasers for paying the pirates of Morocco £10,000 to stop their attacks on ships coming from North American shores. The tactic seems to work, though, and many other governments follow suit. In 1800, the government of Morocco, composed of many of these same pirates, is the first foreign power to recognize the North American Confederation.

in 1804, Alexander Hamilton kills Vice-President Aaron Burr in a pistol duel near Weehawken, New Jersey. Hamilton is arrested and tried for treason; his federalist and economic ideas are branded as the work of a raving madman, and fall out of favor with the public.

in 1934, Eddies at 10 colleges were linked together by the fledgling Knowledge Railroad and began sharing information. Pascal-Edison had technicians working round the clock at each campus to ensure the smooth operation of the Eddies, and the successful test led to the growth of the Railroad to hundreds of other colleges and large institutions within the next year.

in 1979, the American space station Skylab falls out of orbit and smashes into a small white supremacist community near Couer d’Alene, Idaho. The racists consider the crash a planned attack from the government, and launch a series of terrorist assaults on the northwestern U.S. in retaliation.

in 1981, Sparky, the only surviving member of the Vegas 6, surveys the ruins of the Groom Lake facility known as Area 51. Once he sees the atomic destruction that has been wrought, he knows that his grandfather and former companions are dead, and sadly leaves to tell the world of their bravery.

in 2000, Mikhail von Heflin and Velma Porter break into the institute owned by businessman Steve Huff and find a surprisingly competent security force. They are rebuffed briefly, until the creature they have come for bursts out of the chamber it had been placed in and attacks the security force itself. With the aid of the Baron and Ms. Porter, the institute is able to imprison the creature again; and Mr. Huff makes the pair a deal – a hefty sum of money for their assistance with this being from beyond.

in 2002, at the coronation of the Comte de St. Germaine as Pope Righteous I of the Holy British Empire, a trio of Protestants burst in and attempt to assassinate him. The woman of the group, Diana Spencer, manages to plunge her knife into the back of St. Germaine’s head, all the way up to the hilt. St. Germaine hovers near death’s door for seven days, but miraculously recovers, lending even further strength to the rumors that he has been called by God to lead the Empire.


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