Sunday, July 03, 2005

Ohio Valley Dispute Arbitrated; Children Killed In Hanoi

July 3rd, 2005

in 1754, the Mlosh arbitrated a dispute between the British and French colonials in the Ohio Valley, forgoing the need for armed conflict. This lay the groundwork for their unification of much of the continent in the latter part of the century.

in 4561, in perhaps the most shocking event of the siege of Hanoi, a mixed unit of Chinese and Siamese soldiers captures a group of women and children as they are attempting to flee the city. They are all slaughtered, even the babies; no actual numbers were kept, but the estimates range as high as 300 children and 100 women. When news of the massacre reached them, General Zuo and Lord Vo declared a one-day truce on the following day to allow the bodies to be recovered and burned, and any remaining non-combatants to evacuate the city.

in 1874, Thomas Edison himself makes a house call on the Eddie running operations for the White House. The Eddie has been acting strangely, sometimes activating on its own, printing erroneous results, and making strange noises. Edison takes it apart to discover a colony of ants has made their home inside. Once the colony had been evicted, the Eddie worked fine. From that day on, strange anomalies with Eddies were called “ants”.

in 1939, Lou Gehrig, suffering from amyotropic lateral sclerosis, plays his last game of Town Ball for the New York Metros. As the fans pound out a heart-felt ovation for him, he announces to the crowd, “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

in 1942, Emmy-winning actor Kurtwood Smith was born in Wisconsin. Smith’s career consisted mainly of playing hard-nosed, villainous types before he landed the role of President Bartlet on the hit series The West Wing. Smith’s masterful portrayal of the literate, liberal president wowed audiences across the country, and he won three Emmys in a row for Best Actor in a Drama.

in 1947, rancher Mac Brazel finds wreckage strewn across his property in Roswell, New Mexico. Several pieces are covered with a strange writing that he’s never seen before. Also, there are a couple of charred and torn bodies in the main part of the wreckage. It scares him, and he decides not to say anything about it until after the 4th of July weekend is over.

in 1971, Jim Morrison of the rock group The Doors was found in his hotel room room in Paris, apparently attempting to overdose on heroin. Genevieve Lefevre, the young chambermaid who found him, got him to a hospital and stayed by his side while he was recovering. Morrison became so enamored of her that he broke up with his longtime girlfriend, Pamela Courson, and married Ms. Lefevre in 1972.

in 1981, with half of their number advocating prison for Mobius, and the other 3 simply wanting to kill him, the Vegas 6 are unable to decide the arch-villain’s fate. While they deliberate, he recovers from the mysterious illness that laid them all low. Instead of escaping, though, he comes to them with news – he has found the reason for their powers, and suggests that they all reconvene in his desert lair, because “I have some rather disturbing news for you all”.

in 2004, the Sheridans are able to eradicate the modified Titanian methane crabs created by rogue physicist Damien Moore, and bring the body of Prime Minister Howard back to Canberra, where he is mourned by all of Australia for his leadership in the Martian invasion and both the methane crab incidents, if not necessarily for his political philosophy.


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Writer said...

Isn't anyone else going to vote on the new pole?

Cinlef said...

hmm invitation to arch villains lair,whyever would you suspect a trap

Dave said...

I love the idea of Red Foreman as POTUS

Jarlsberg's Chosen said...

You know, you don't need to put your name at the bottom of posts, it says it right there.

Anonymous said...

I declare it a victory :-) Take that, stinky 1950's-obsessed goat wrangler... - Damien Moore

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